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Matterhorn Apr 2
Once again, lying in bed,
The day's events
Flowing through my head
Like a movie
I don't want to see.

The dreams come and go.
I push them aside,
Each time wishing they would return;
They don't, of course.
Why would they?

I see her eyes—
His eyes—
Their eyes,
Painted on the back of my eyelids
Like graffiti on the silver screen.

Covers pulled over my head
Only serve to catch the vapor of my breath;
The click-clacking of a beast in the hall,
The quiet tick-tocking of a distant clock
Still permeate.
© Ethan M. Pfahning 2019
Samantha Marie Aug 2017
I don't want it.
Even though I've never known it.
I'm not strong enough to handle it,
It will destroy me.
Doubts will linger,
Bring caution to my thoughts.
But curiosity will allow the doubt to disappear
Letting me slip into what will never last.
It will destroy me.
I'm already broken.
Never wanting to love or to ever be loved
Pushing away
Even when I yearn for them.
There is no cure for those like me.
Love is incapable of easing the pain
Only wrecking the damaged ones further
It will destroy me.
Mark my words
Love will be the cause of my death.
Tainted by others
To scared to give love a try
You chipped away at the wall I put up until you made a gaping hole.

Then you left, so I filed it with cement.
Silver Lining Sep 2015
Being physically close to someone does not bother me- I like being touched. I like hugging and the feeling of someone running their fingers over my back and arms.
But once that physical touch gets a little too close to emotion I push it away. Once someone starts to feel like they have feeling for me, or that I for them, I immediately think of ways to push them away in such a slight way that they do not realize what is happening.
Because the truth is.. The fingerprints left on my skin, the touch I can not scrub away in the shower, will be gone. I will have a new set of skin in a matter of weeks. Skin that hasn't been touch, hasn't been tainted with someone's prints.
But the words that they said to me will forever be printed on my heart. Each letter stamped into my mind where it'll wait to hurt me again, filed away under "Do not go back" until it gets dark and I wander through the shelves trying to find someone, something to occupy myself with. Something to remind myself that I was not always this alone..
Colleen Mary May 2015
I don't miss you, but I wonder about you and wish it was acceptable to.
My brain still can't understand how something so good yet short lived could end in all of this pain.
You used me? I guess that's it.
But no- you're better than that.
See, there I go wanting to give you more credit and myself more blame.
It must have been the light blue color in your eyes, unlike anything I could ever dream of, working along side your mischievous grin that fooled me.
Perhaps it was the way you knew how to make me laugh and long to kiss you since the minute we met.
Things weren't so gray and I wish I wouldn't have shooed you away.
Before you ran, you warned me about your morbid sense of humor and advised me to get used to it.
There was no point of me warming up to your dark humor though, I became the joke that stole the show.
How was I supposed to know that the soul behind those glassy, freakin beautiful baby blues of yours had grown so terribly icy and was destined to leave me feeling blue?
Lena Ghabayen Jun 2014
It just starts with another painful cough
And then my head really begins to spin.
It reminded me of how much I'm closed off
And how I keep my feelings bottled in.
It seems as if I push people away
Like they are forbidden fruit from the tree.
But really, I want them to stay.
I want them to stand side by side with me.
I want to be independent and brave.
I can't. I just need someone else to blame.
Yet, it is still your comfort that I crave
Although, you do not even know my name.
Always being alone is what makes me scared.
Day after day, I wished that you cared

— The End —