Sometimes I enjoy life more
When my view is hindered by tears
The edges of images blur
Like mascara, how the world smears.

I like it better out of focus;
My vision, my goals, my dreams
When it's blurry it's easier to pretend
The pain in my heart isn't as bad as it seems.

Free
that wee
moment
of your
****** blurred
memory.

I exceeded the limit
hatch in the middle of a hot desert
my breath is scarred
my stomach wriggled
little birds whistled
the wind blow breaks it

my feet are on fire
my hands shake
solar lavishes his light
a faint golden luster
visible, biased blurred vision

the world used to be so clear & bright
yet now, it became so blurry & unclear
like standing in the middle of a fog,
like driving through heavy rain


-e.i

where
love sleeps on goosefeathers and moonlight moors,
withering on the solemn slopes of moss and

heather where
hummingbirds climb on raindrops,
sailing on the pattering and

puddling where
fog layers on hillsides, augmenting
the shades of evergreen, folded and

ambient where
light shines through panelled oak and
purrs with the howl of the lonely sun, speckled and

blurred where
you sigh, narrowly, and long for the tides
beyond forty-five degrees (where it's

cold, i think) where
lorries stop to breathe and you
step, i think, to be closer to magic
and further from me.

I am scared
I'm at a party I don't want to go to
I'm in a corner, trying to vanish into the wall
My heart is racing, but they don't know that
I'm in a dress far too tight for comfort
I feel my body going limp, but if I fall the director will yell


She walks to me, smile on her face and glimmer in her eye
My mind goes blank, black
She talks, but I don't hear her, I mean I do
but its ******* my heartbeat
I force a smile, but my eyes are wide
The director comes over, tells me to talk
I shake my head
She pushes me on stage, spotlights blinding me
I stand there, forcing a smile but tears in my eyes
The director pulls me back
I tell her I can't do it

“But they love you! They love you!”
It doesn't matter
I can't do it
The tears run down my cheek


“They love you”
My ears ring
“They love you”
My chest hurts
“They love you”
My vision blurs
“THEY LOVE YOU”
My knees buckle
“THEY LOVE YOU”
I cant breath
“THEY LOVE YOU!”
I cant hear over the screaming
“THEY LOVE YOU. THEY LOVE YOU.
THEY LOVE YOU THEY LOVE YOU THEY LOVE YOU!”

Seeing through eyes blanketed by a
Fuzzy blanket, only intended for winter recess
Winter recess where the snowflakes drift in and
Out of ocular view, demanding to be looked at.
Japanese paintings folding, unfolding, transforming into
Little blurry bubbles of dark greens and
Blackened blues.
Glorious sunsets, smearing the sky with red hands look
Flattened.
They’re dry and hands cannot rub enough waterfalls and
Raindrops into them,
Leaving spider webs, fresh with rouge.