In your kaleidoscope eyes i found a bitter surprise.
A world filled with regrets and goodbyes.
You laid eyes on me with your shattered sights and told me my aura burned forever bright.
But truthfully my heart was a car crash in the dead of night:
    -Broken windows for eyes.
    -Faulty headlights like my line of sight.
    -Broken gaskets like my wounded heart.
    -Sputtering fuel lines like the veins running through my arms.    
    -Radio blaring The Pretty Reckless.
    -Aura burning.
    -Aura Dimming.
    -Car swimming.
    -Amount of oxygen in the air thinning.
You thought you knew me. Could see me clearly. But you had kaleidoscope eyes and it shouldn't have come as a surprise when you failed like all the rest, left dumfounded as a deer in headlights in the dead of night.

What about the girl who hides behind her faces
Bitterness is the only thing she has to keep
She wants someone to sweep her off of her feet
And keep her held there in perfect ecstasy

What about the girl who wastes all of her beauty
Her absent father didn't tell her she's worth more
She tries to find a boy to fill in her heart's void
She'll feel her life's complete as he slips out the door

Don't you want someone to love
Don't you want someone who'll never give up
Don't you want someone who'll make you feel enough
Don't you want someone to love

What about the boy who keeps messing up
No one to forgive him he doesn't know where to hold his heart
He gives it to girls who don't even know him
How can they when he doesn't even know himself

What about the boy who spends his love on pictures
Doesn't know how to fight for a real girl anymore
He calls her a mystery and gets caught up in his prison
Until beauty is as numb his heart

Why deny him of someone who can take mistakes
The only one who can pick him off the ground
Why deny him of the best beauty around
Someone who'll never deny him of the man he can be

What about the quiet kid in the corner
Never had a father to show him how to be strong
His happiness goes as far as his voice goes
He'll never know his own role in changing the world

What about the kid who acts like a fool
He desperate for any kind of acknowledgment
He's given himself away so many times before
He'll soon be gone with no place to go

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/aura

Where does worth come from?

I've been told my aura is Lavender,
By a man trying to flee
light blue paper scrubs

and milk dripping down them.

He says I'm not suicidal,
Lavender never is.

He scrambles to the next lover,
to soothe his own pain,
to scramble up their life,
to match his chaos brewing like coffee.
To rob them of reality,
of up from down,
rob them from someone who would consume their whole being,
not spitting out one seed,
who would be concious of just whom they are loving.
For in truth, when he said he loved me,
when he pressed his nose to mine,
when our auras conjoined...
what he really meant was,
I love not being lonely.
For love does not just throw up the white dish towel and die.
We do not mean to scramble up what we want and what we need inside,
it just happens from time to time.
Afterall, I'm the indulgent one who bit,
the half soul, half ego ***** who asked for cheese on top.
Protesting as a vegan means nothing in truth,
when I've just as soon devoured what's offered up too soon.
My system was not ready for eggs,
for dairy,
I threw it all up.
Then when my system was realized and ready,
I wondered why his breakfast plate couldn't magically be resurrected,
hot off the stove of "love".
When I threw it all up,
he took offense, rightfully.
He broke the plate on which he served me.
From the diner, he banished me.
He said, I thought you were ready!
At the sight of what looks like insufficient culinary ability,
I cannot have you here, this liability,
I am sorry.

Your aura
Is like the fog
underneath the blue sky
beckoning the ground
and settling peacefully, pure.
Thick and lustrous,
completing the world
with every part,
every breath of you.