Skin split open
Blood spilling out
Tears pouring down
As you fall
fall
fall

Darkness enveloping you
No light seen
Scream out pleas
As you fall
fall
fall

Depression is evil
Feeling emptiness eternal
Motivation all gone
As you fall
fall
fall

Falling forever down
Never safely grounded
To be hurting
As you fall
fall
fall

Voice of reason filled the air.
Life, it said, just wasn't fair.
Time after time, it laughed in her face.
As the echoes of it made her heart race.
A devil told her to make it go away.
But the angel told her everything would be okay.
Does she give in to her despair?
Or should she remember the reasons she should care?
Day after day, emotions high and low.
Sometimes, she wished, she could just go.
To young to take to a bottle.
Wishing she could take life's throttle.
One more day she convinces herself.
Just stop caring so much, leave your heart on a shelf.

Laying down on a clump of moss
Body shuddering with the feeling of loss
Two feet away the grave your visiting
You rub your chest against the heartbreak bubbling
Unsure how long you can endure
When all you want is some closure
In the end you get up and leave
You'll try again when your sure you wont heave

My chest aches
A dull throb
My heart beating
Like a drum

My mind blank
Life shocked it
Into a silence
A loud quiet

I sit down
In a corner
In soft loneliness
Always forever alone

Sometimes I cry
Mostly I stay
In my misery
A personal hell

Hurt too much
Abandoned too often
Life mislead me
To this hell

People hurt me
Saying mean things
Now I think
Horrifying beautiful thoughts

It's their fault
For these ideas
Of lonely suicide
A quick relief

Round and Round
In my head
They happily dance
Because of them

One good slice
On the wrist
Blood flowing freely
My red savior

A pill bottle
Of sweet narcotics
Sleep is everlasting
It's beautiful freedom

Driving too fast
It's so dark
Just a swerve
A black heaven

Numbness overtakes me
Should I partake?
Am I brave?
Too much feeling

Life fades away
The soul cries
Alone in darkness
Realizing something awful

I gave up
Only to find
Pain is everlasting
I still hurt

Hello
I see you
With your long hair
And beautiful eyes

Hello
I try to get your attention
But you don't see me
Too far gone within your mind

Hello
You look away
Daydreaming about nothing
Sinking into a sweet bliss

Hello
You walk away slowly
Avoiding collisions carefully
Still deep in your thoughts

Hello
To the stranger I've never met
I'll wave to you
To your back

To tell you goodbye

Frozen in place
Filled with despair
Looking back
You never did care
You got what you want
To me that wasn't fair
I worked hard
But never got a share
So why, I don't understand
Why you throw everything away
I wouldn't dare!

Her name is Katherine
I call her Katie
She and she alone is my best friend
She listens to my problems
And helps distract me
From a life of pain and complications
Lately, she and she alone has been my rock
A long time ago
Had it not been for her
I would have gone into darkness and swallowed whole
Losing myself to the shock

I have a sister and brother
A middle child I am
Although there are three
My parents only acknowledged two

Now there is my sister
The youngest of the three
The baby and most loved
She likes to make mom cry
And claims she wants to die

The oldest is my brother
Kicked out long ago
He liked to do drugs
And hit me
He loved to fight with my father
And destroy the peace, Slaughter

My mother
Loves my sister
And claims my brother
Me however
Well I'm a disappointment
Never good enough
A lecture
Never a nice gesture

And last there's my father
Who picks on me
But that's ok because that's how he loves
But he's never home
Always at work
And sides with my mom
When he isn't making her yell at him
He hits really hard
And when he plays it's rough
I figure it's because he's trying to make us tough

That's my family
Not always nice
Many of the reasons I cut my skin with a knife
Because I can't help it, that this is my life.

Life is swirling around me
A never ending errand run
Sometimes my eyes blur until I can't see
Awake and moving before the risen sun

Work and school take up time
Responsibilities soak up whats left
My debts soaking up my left over dime
Everything I own is something I regret

Over and over the same every day
Working long hours for a little pay
Long road ahead, not even half way
Been too long, with nothing to say

Try and try and try as you might

You are slowly, slowly losing the fight

Knowing that two wrongs don't make a right

Another omen comes back to bite

Lost in darkness looking for light

No hope is seen, none in sight

Frozen in fear
Nothing but a tear
A cry of pain
Going insane
Lighting a flame
Never the same
Flickering light
Losing the fight
You write a letter
That no one will see
A ****** of a knife
Ending your life

Have you ever cried and couldn't stop?

Maybe your chest hurt and you couldn't understand why?

You try to talk, but no one to listen?

Crave not only a voice, but the warmth of someone who cared?

You are not alone, for I too, am with you.

The darkness reigns within,
The shadows burst forth,
Unseen with the naked eye,
Loneliness is bound to the soul,
Wishes for the light,
But can never have contact,
Blindness is inevitable,
For the light is so bright,
And the darkness is where you live,
For eternity searching for more,
Than the shadows that keep you company.

So much lost
Nothing gained
Not worth the cost
Health no longer maintained

Another hospital visit
Another problem
Body shaking with another fit
It's not you it's them

They lie again and again
It's not this, there is no reason
No trust in men
My limbs are freezing

No job
Failing in school
No more energy to cry or sob
Now I feel just like a tool

I don't have a reason anymore
No goal to reach for
Depression hits me harder than ever before
There is no longer another opportunity door

Life swallowed me whole
Ruining my car
Losing my job
Health plummets

To be able to live is a hassel
Every breath a struggle
How long do I have to suffer
With these health problems

To go so far
And turn around

To take a step forward
And take two steps back

Ambition lost

Courage faltering

And you...

You just keep going

Leaving me reaching and falling short

Respect is not something you give
Even when respect is all that I give

You don't believe in me that I can do it
But I want to show you that I can do it

And you tell me to get off my high horse
But you don't see that i'm going at it at full force

All I want is for you to see me
And all you want is to be better than me

Please see me for who I am
Please show me that you give a ****

I wish upon a star
That maybe one day i'll go far
away from here
A star so bright
I don't need a flashlight
to see the signs in front of me
A ball of gas so potent
A letter of resignation sent
to lift me away from depression
I wish upon a star
So I can find happiness

An argument too far and it breaks a family.
Life becomes tense when a word or name is mentioned.
Walking on tip toes like a ballerina to avoid the wrong words.
A tearful picture is removed.
A lost thought becomes a regret.
A death of a loved one changes nothing.
The anger and hurt is scarred into the soul.
Nothing makes it better but everything makes it worse.
And me, I'm stuck in the middle.

Love lost
In more ways than one
And at what cost?
Heartbreak is inevitable

Death everlasting
Grief never forgotten
My heart strings casting
For a pain killer

Love lost
Always a fatal blow
And at what cost?
Warping your heart with scars

Trust broken
Paranoia becomes persistent
A sleeping beast awoken
When are you good enough

Love lost
Self hatred is prevalent
And at what cost?
Forever negative about life

Tears falling
Hating the reflection in the mirror
Sadness is calling
Dragging you farther into darkness

I lay down
I'm tired again

I stare blankly
I'm floating again

I tear up
I'm panicking again

I don't feel anymore
Am I in reality?

It's raining again
I want to go for a walk
With the sky crying
And the world strangely quiet

I'm alone again
The silence is killer
The rain echoes
I feel detached

No one around
My heart hammers anyway
Like a hummingbird in my chest
The feeling a mimic to the rain

It's raining again
And I want to go for a walk
All by myself
To keep the anxiety away

Willows sway in the wind
Grass grows on the river bend
A fish jumps just off the coast
Birds call out to predator's to boast
The suns rays warm the earth
As a mother cries out with the pain of birth
Flowers bloom to feed the bees
Boats struggle in the raging seas
Spring has come to bring a new year
Melting away the winter fear