Scribbling of pens
The smell of paper
People wonder
Why I stay there
In my sanctuary
Of quiet and calm
Typing away
At my old battered laptop
The words flow freely
The thoughts do not
This has no rhythm
Nor any rhyme
But I like the way it is
Just fine.

Sometimes it felt fine
Sometimes it didn't
She was tired of trying
But she kept her chin up
She did what they asked
She was okay




She couldn't feel fine
She was exhausted
No one knew
She wouldn't let them know
At night she'd cry
Her tears would flow
Fast and swift
Soon, they started to fall from her wrists.

I steel myself against their glares
Everyone is watching me
I can feel the crowd surge around me
Everyone is watching
Everyone can see me
I duck my head
I look at my hands
Keep walking
There are so many people now
They're pressing in from all sides
I try to move away
But I'm trapped
Loud chatter fills my ears
They're talking
They're talking about me
A little girl is singing a song
A young woman is sipping her coffee
An elderly man watched me with concern
I see my building
I ignore the stares
I bat away the hands grabbing at me
I don't know what they want
I break into a run
I've pushed someone down
This was a bad idea
I know it was
I shouldn't have come
Why are they after me?
Why are they staring?
I breathe a sigh of relief
I'm in the lobby
It's empty
The elevator doors slide open
And he's there
He's waiting for me
His eyes are understanding
He knows how to fix it
I'm clawing at my neck
I feel their stares imprinted on me
He wraps me in his arms
And whispers sweet nothings
You're safe
I'm safe
Next time I'll go with you
*Next time...

I want to fix you
I want to watch your eyes light up
I want to know what your laugh sounds like
I want to see the corners of your eyes crinkle up when you smile
I want you to crack the worst jokes just to make people laugh
I want to hold you without you flinching
I want to touch you without you screaming
I want you to sleep without nightmares
I want you to feel comfortable in your own skin
I want to wipe away the marks
I want to heal the scars he left
I want to fix you

We are selfish
Why?
Well,
Because we think this world is ours.
It is ours to run
It is ours to cherish
It is ours to ruin
Why?
Because we think that flowers are beautiful
We pick them, we pluck them
As if they bloom for us
Why?
Because we think birdsong is charming
We imitate it
We sell it, we listen to it
As if they sing for us
Well we are selfish
I am selfish
You are selfish
Don't deny it
We are all selfish
We are all human
We are all the same

You are worthless
You are amazing
You are hideous
You are ravishing
You are plain
You are stunning
You are stupid
You are witty
You are fine
You are broken
You are happy
You are choking
You are you
*You are beautiful

Ceaseless small talk
No one cares
They watched in shock
As he split the layers
He made his way
Towards her wary form
Brown locks astray
But her eyes were warm
His hand extended
He bowed to her
As she pretended
Nobody heard
When he whispered
We meet again
She raised her hand
And counted ten
Seconds before
he kissed it
And
They
Were
Never
Seen
Again