all i want is to feel
as real as the sun feels
pressed against my skin.

i imagine that you are like glass
so easily broken
and a painful mess to clean up

Smile
you dance your hips and thighs romance
Silky words
grip my nerves
my words can hardly find me
My dear I'm here and your head lights are blinding
Caution taken
none forsaken
Thoughts were flowing
hearts were breaking
Spoke in pairs none prepared
lines of lies eyes would tear
Paper mache wants
and needs became secondary
Made the mistakes reminded every February
Never scary, never right
Never wrong to get it right
Reading words to find what's yours yeah
I know what that feelings like

I wrote this to say goodbye.
I lay here watching the bright sky fall shy
And look to the space between you and I
Only to find my tongue tied around words
As you your eyes swell with 'why'
We lie together, at each other, with whoever
"It's whatever"
Sick to both our stomachs knowing that attitude
won't make it better.

This dark place gets consumed by my wandering thoughts
All its sounds and spare parts construct the fires up north
Like a ship in the port, it's cargo unloaded
The words on the wall find themselves decoded.
I take a step outside of myself and walk around this room
I sit so I can stand the weight of its tune
I sing along with lips that hold dear to each other
A song that would cause even silence to wonder

i wrote this in that quiet room
where we said goodbye
where the silence kept me company and brought tears to my eyes
i looked at you then
knowing you'd never look at me again
something like my best friend
and i think i let you down
it feels like a heart attack.
*did i let you drown?

This cold air reminds me of you
The warmth that you carried, the scent of your hair
Your smile like the sun on days that weren't so clear
This chill persists but move we don't dare
So our coffee mugs sit alone with our empty chairs

Feeling like a misfit when the feelings unlisted
The truth is I've seen death and in that moment I missed it
Things are kind of twisted when you untwist the humor
Life becomes real and your thoughts become rumors
Problems the size of tumors
keep you shackled to the bed
Have a change of thought
the world is only in your head

i've rearranged and tucked you away
between cold nights and sun kissed mornings

i've pushed you into corners hoping you would stay buried

yet you come around calling
you've never left.
my planning was hurried and overly complicated

i started off writing a poem
now i just wish you'd leave me alone

Our stars align when we lay under the nights like this
You're  this close my eyes like this
Your hand on my chest lifting gentle to the the pulse of what I thought didn't exist
It's always this but isn't that what we want?
I'm being blunt to smoke out your uncertain thoughts
What's a curtain cost?
I just want to shut out the spotlights that call us back to the stage of life.
I smile that smile my mouth can't form
The one that holds your thoughts and keeps you warm
We spill like wine and take no form
Loved you since the day we were born. It's the norm to feel this worn when I put on the kettle to have this cup and finally settle. Should we wrestle with time or will we find that it's all inside of our minds? Who perfected this imperfect design? Who made this road without the signs?
Lines connect our words when hands can't talk our thoughts.
Something left to feel right.

Gaze I wander what you are
My thoughts held close yet you're so far
Dream you're dreams reality or find my mind a casualty
Passionately spoken thoughts awoken
hearts in men
And taught them how to be boys
again
Follow rhythm provoke a rhyme
Stitch yourself through space and time
Dream you're dream reality or find my mind a casualty
Gaze I wander what you are
My thoughts held close... but you're so far

Our different bodies that don't belong to us
will always belong to us
Letting go is nothing more than pushing it away by holding onto the memory
You can't **** a memory.
It lives in you.
Not around you.

I remember you clearly
You were always there
Even when I wasn't