First War of 2010

There was something wrong
Of that I was sure all along.
Not cause I liked Wii more than dolls
Was something far deeper than those.

Three dates with him and no sparks flew
But a glance from her-Oh! I just knew.
Longings of the heart, the unfamiliar racings
Why to her when it should be for him?

Monster of guilt is stabbing the last of my peace.
Meeting her glance is tearing my soul by piece.
The mind knows better-the right from wrongs
Only the heart knows to whom it truly belongs.

The violent war wages between heart and mind,
Will the anguish of the way be worth the find?
But to be me, if this cross I should forever bear,
I still choose my heart over mind to care.

I choose ME until the end.

Four years down, we still chat up
He still calls me and I still pick up
We tell each other every small this and every tiny that-
He tells his feats and I tell my wars.

I know his flaws all too well
But I know his good all the more better
I know I would fight off the devil for him
About him though, I could never tell.

I think somewhere deep within, I know
This friendship is deep but not for long.
For the day, She gives the stare
He would leave ; with neither a tear nor a care.

So I cherish each second, each day
For it brings us a page nearer to the end.
For the day is not far, when the story ends
And we go back to being strangers-by-years.

On a late foggy winter night,
Walking down the lane with a heavy mind
For it was December and celebrations were at hind,
Harrowing two years, all alone in the metro flew;
Sacrifices for those pennies, for a perfect Christmas back home.

All seemed so near while chatting with him, my plans
Never knowing it was soon to be my “black day”.
Soon to be punched, tossed and gnawed upon
To be jeered and taunted, thrown off like a rag doll,
All for a reason of being born:
For being in this world, born as a ‘girl’.

Oh! in that hell on Earth, with those savage beasts
All alone. Do ask them, didn’t I?
Did I not beg, fall at your feet, as you tore off my tee?
Didn’t I bawl as every atom of me revolted your entry?
Did I not plead for a water drop, as every ounce of my energy drained?
Slowly it hit me how I ceased being a human, more like a prop for them.

Desperately I fought that day, **** and on my own-
Losing battles for my pride and for justice one after another,
Lying down on the road, I did hope for Santa to come early that year
Wishing he would put another day in my ‘Christmas stocking’.
Just to show these cannibals — how it feels,
To be left of nowhere — Neither dead nor living for 13 long days.

I know I am a dying light, yet I wish someone would kindle it;
Awake the sleepy heads across the nation to fight-
For there are more “Nirbhayas” across the country and the world
Battling against many more shameless dastards
Wearing innocent angel like smile in the morning,
But as dusk sets in, the Lucifer returns to hunt.

Find them, **** them — no, it’s not for revenge,
It’s from the brave heart, a prayer-
For there shouldn’t be another me… not now and not ever.

The shore is at sight
People around me all merry-n-bright
I see the shore - this journey's end
Yet the familiarity of the shore, I fear
For my solace now lies in the vast, vast sea.

In the crowd, I feel alone.
The eyes looking at me -
They pierce through to my bone.
In them looks, I see their raw thoughts.

In the crowd, I feel alone.
The hands that reach for me -
No longer do I trust. For every time
I reached out, they were but a mere mirage.

In the crowd, I feel alone.
The words they say -
Their praises bounce off like raindrops on a gamp
Yet their criticisms - they stink me like a bee.

In the crowd, I feel alone.
Each time, a battle of them v/s Me-
I feel their weapons; I feel my adrenaline rush
Yet I am the only one on the battle field.
The battle rages on somewhere within me.

The world can't see her, she hides behind me
I take the lead but she is always around me.


The world can't see her, the science can't detect
Every second her in me, more-n-more reflect. 


The world still can't see her, religion calls her names
She engulfs; leaving me to wail as she slowly maims. 


The world can't see her, my family too
She still hangs by my neck, my sadness-her stew.


The world can't see her, nor can I
She lives through me while I barely stay alive 


The world can't see her, only she can see
She has my life, my smiles, my fears and my tears.
They have pledged their allegiance to her
While I remain to be the shell, for the world to see.

She stood beautifully outside the door
Dressed so prettily in red and green.
But he passed by her, once more
All wound up with no sheen.

Day 2-- with the sun shining brightly
She was happy and hoped he would be too.
Alas! he had struggles of his own with boo
While she leaned by the window, rather sadly too.

Days passed and so did weeks
Standing strong against nature's freaks.
But today was different, for the summer was ending
For things to be different, she looks up and seeks.

He had lost his girl, grades and more
All his feelings were open and sore.
Sad and tired, he stared out his window
And finally saw her, the belle in red.

He was happy, so was she...
An enchantress like her, never had he seen
For she was one of a kind; the Master had took his time
For she stood for eternal love: for the red tulip was She.

There is a wave of sadness in her
But you wouldn’t see it
There is a dam of tears waiting to burst
But you wouldn’t see it
There is a dream suffocating within her
But you wouldn’t hear it
There is a confused soul crying for help
But you wouldn’t hear it

For more than riding the wave about to engulf
Or wipe the tears out to drown her life
Or revive the dreams off to die
She would rather keep up the façade of being strong
Die every moment than let the world see her weak.

[ ] The world is such, my child
       Built in the broken backs of you and I.
       Propelled higher and made mightier
       By weapons of power and fright.

       The world is such my child
       Unknown trails are condemned by mild
       Free mind is lethal and a myth, for the grey
       But they are robots- all mindless, I must say.

       The journey would be hard, my child
      The path is unknown and your heart is wild.
       Let the robots try their luck
       But you my brave child : make sure to give no ****!

They are ******* it- "Them", the lifeless forms
Right out of me - every sliver of contentment;
I feel it leaving me : soul departing a body
Leaving me- the shell of my being.

From my bedroom, I see the slice of life
Pretty blue skies, birds and evergreen trees.
I see  my dusted friends by the bed
As "They" perfuse me with their darkness.

My four white walls bear silent witnesses,
But my angel- she stands guard patiently-
Patiently waits as I drown myself in the noises;
Hoping to drive away the dark with the loud raps.

But then "They" last only for so long;
As the goings get tough, I repeat that over-n-over --
Looking for the exit route. I just need to last
Until "They" tire out for today.
For then, that would be my win for the day.

He knelt before the idol - willingly
Head down, eyes closed - he mutters
Call it the calm before the storm
He begs for his life then strolls off to claim another's.
Flickering candle- one of many, stands homage to his faith.

The smaller candle to the left
Testifies the faith of a quite young one
With a grin on her face - she lists her wish-of-the-day
She hopes for the test, her bestie and her come first
But if push comes to shoves, she adds: "It's always me first."

The smallest of all yet the dirtiest of them all-
Burns ever so slowly-hides the prayer of a mother
Fighting battles all on her own. She fights and she loses.
Her baby cries for milk; her body craves for the kick
She hopes for a miracle - some quick money for a fix.

There was one -  the longest candle of all
I could only wonder the reason for this install.
Is it a gratitude token or a way for prayers to reach faster?
Or does the longest burning candle have its prayers fulfilled first?
Just then the wind blew;

The tallest one flickered and the rest followed through,
But all the candle lighters were on their way
Waiting for their own miracles - they went their way
Holding tightly to their faith,
Faith as small as a mustard seed.