you were my whole world
and you decided to tear my body apart

you were my fortress
and you left me drenched in a dark road

you were my definition of love
and your eyes said i better nonexisted

pieces of sharp glass
spread across my floor
my emotion overflowed
imprisoned and ignored

i see colors and shapes
but my canvas is blank
thought of a thousand words
but my mouth was shut

wildflowers grew in my chest
yet never been touched by sunlight

you didn't come to my funeral
now you ask if i want to dance

you want to reach out
but i've already sunken
you're wrong if you see me glow
the light isn't for you

i've followed you before
climb to you, swim to you
but you can't see me try
you didn't try to

i don't blame you
but don't blame me

thank you for calming yourself down
thank you for cheering yourself up
thank you for your good intentions
thank you for your best efforts

keep searching, keep running
may God be content with you

there's a crack in my chest

i filled it with flowers,
gold, and sparkles
but it's still empty
i'm still lonely

were you too good at hiding
or had i been hallucinating

i climbed a mountain to find you
but i lost myself on the way

why do i have to crumble
why do i need to prove that i'm worthy
i was fine before i met him
and until he left,
i got nothing but hard lessons

your answer was like a shooting star
explodes to a thousand butterflies

i thought my heart was filled
but it’s a bottomless dark cliff
and i dressed as the innocent princess
but everyone can see the inner witch

my eyes only deserve to face the ground
weeping bitter slow rivers
and your hand that tries to wipe it
will only burn me into blisters

i took a step toward you and
i’m stranded barefoot in a snowstorm

can you be brave enough
to acknowledge that it was just
a fateful unfortune

can you be strong enough
to accept and let go of
what's been taken from you

can you be merciful enough
to see your monstrous form
and shower her with love

you can endure anything
if you let yourself to

sometimes it's not the money
but the way it was taken

sometimes it's not the bruises
but the memory

sometimes it's not the wording
but the meaning

sometimes it's not the action
but the intention
that hurts

the light ripped the darkness apart
and in that daybreak i see my future

things i nurture will be taken away
dreams i want will never come true
people i love, i'll need to let go
pain i suffer, i'll have to endure

i'll lose it all,
but i'll be fine
as long as i remember you,
i'm complete

it's beyond your control
why cry over it?

it's not yours
why claim to own it?

'no' is just a result of two random possibilities
take it, leave it, grow out of it

am i a trophy
am i a crown
am i a flower
in your bouquet
do i shine
like a gold
in your eyes

i don't even know anymore
am i being abused
am i being harassed
am i being loved
all feel the same
scary
painful
but i'm good at ignoring it

"what you need to ignore
is the people who hurt you
not the pain they've caused"

sometimes i don't want you
to be kind to everyone
to adapt to adjust
to like everything

you're as lovely as a doll
as plain as a canvas
don't let people paint
anything the want on you

when you asked
"what do you want?"
your heart doesn't answer anymore
you've silenced it for too long

be honest with me
let the tears out
take off your mask
you can rest now

i can only collect clues
my hypothesis is i have no chance with you
so i withdrew
but i hope it doesn't feel okay for you
i hope deep down you desired me too

a lot of things happened in the past
and you have fought well
so whatever the future is going to be
you are a winner

you build me a castle
but you give me no room
to be myself
to feel myself

under the light
above the stage
i always know what to say
put a charming smile to sway

but i can't find a word
to title our story
i paused too long
trying to explain how it feels

was it always this vague
were i always this speechless

even when i know the answer
it's still hurt the most
even when i'm an adult now
it never really healed

maybe it's just how life is
what comes will go
maybe it's just better for me
to stop asking why

i'm here
i can heal you
and when you're happy
come back to me

don't go around
and get your heart
broken all over again
remember me

they always talk,
but can't listen.
it's okay.
i'll listen to your stories,
every detail of them.

when i look at the mirror,
i always think you're pretty.
so don't compare yourself with others
and just focus on us.

you were always so selfless.
but honestly,
among other people,
i love you the most.

i would fight fiercely
yet wait patiently
for you.
so please, accept me.
love yourself.

you didn’t notice that i’m fading
you have your family
i don’t have mine
you were

my chest's burning like
i'm ready to slam my phone
and i'm just so sick of

adjusting my feelings
revising my words
setting up my smiles

to keep everyone happy
avoid another contrariety
runaway from the reality

a baby born crying then
you forced her to laugh

why do we born
to be weak
to be owned
to recover alone

why do we taught
not to say no
not to be heard
not to be complete

you were right in front of me
but i missed you so bad
like you're not there

you only wanted to be loved
why can't i give it
why can't we
to each other

a man ruins my childhood
a man ruins our sisterhood
a man ruins her motherhood

we crave their love but
we never loved ourselves

the train blasts in speed
sends me to the battle field
punch my heart, form a shield
i'm ready for another slit

i wonder what could have changed
cause my wound still bleed the same

i've invited her to
a dark place which
is called my mind and
she stayed with me

i've taken her to
a rushing river which
is called my tears and
she swam in deep

i've walked her through
an eggshells path which
is called my traumas and
she held me tight

i don't even feel like
i need to make her stay
cause she will

i don't hate you
i fear you
and you make me stay by
teaching me that
to love is to fear and
to fear is to love

we're alike, in many features, they said
but only the two of us understood that
we're standing in different bergs of ice

we enjoy paddling closer to each other
but sometimes the ice water feels so cold

and seeing other stops
weakens another

in the end
we both frozen

and it hurts

i don’t know whether
you were extremely cruel
or an unordinary fool

because we both
jumped to the cliff
but mine was unfairly
much deeper and darker

i used to worship you
surrender all i have too
but you left those roses
withered in dirt

you used to torn me into pieces
shatter my todays, my tomorrows
now you’re nowhere of my sight
turned into dirt