“Why didn't you tell me you were hurting?”
She asked, with tears in her eyes.
“I didn't want to burden you,”
He answered quietly,
His eyes boring a hole in the ground.
What he really wanted to say was,
“I wanted to see how long it took you to notice.”

I started with my dress,
The white one with the black flowery design.
I added my black scarf, draping it
Casually around my head,
Trying to stop my thoughts from drifting
To what I was dressing up for.
I slipped on my sandals and then
Slipped out the door,
Not slamming it because that felt like
An ending.
I didn’t want another ending.
Walking into the church,
The temperature went up 50 degrees,
And my anxiety went up 100.
I shook hands with the extended family,
Hugged your widow,
And comforted your grandchildren.
I made it through the opening liturgy,
Your favorite hymn, and the obituary.
I even stopped my tears from falling
During your granddaughter’s touching eulogy,
When she started sobbing up there on the altar.
Afterwards, I sat through the meal,
Everything tasting like cardboard in
My mouth as the temperature kept increasing.
Near the end of the night,
When the church was clearing out,
I went back to the food,
Craving a final bite of cheesy potato casserole
Before I could finally leave this night behind.
Yet when I get there,
The tray is cleaned out,
And there is no more cheesy potato casserole.
That’s when I finally break down and sob.
I didn’t get that last bite of
Cheesy potato casserole.

Do I remember too much about
The strangers I meet?
There was the skinny seven year old at the
Park in Detroit, who I learned liked autumn
And colorful leaves, pumpkins and Halloween,
Scarecrows and working in the garden.
There was the Japanese lady at the
Hotel breakfast in DC, calmly eating a donut,
Staring off into space, gracefully lost in her own
Thoughts and feelings.
There was the happy man at the
Veteran’s home, who talked gratefully to me
About his experiences, desperate to
Share his story.
There was the single mother on
The park bench, allowing me, a total stranger,
To watch her children while she took
A much needed nap.
There was the black man at the
Movie theater, who offered me his
Extra bag of popcorn and made sure I knew
When the jump scares were.
Do I remember too much about
The strangers I meet?
I don’t think so.
Appreciate humanity,
Because you never know when it might be gone.
Each one of these people were beautiful,
In their own way, and they weren’t even
Trying to be.
They were just living their lives,
And I was fortunate enough to be a part of them
For a short time.
You know why they were beautiful?
Because they just were.

The world I live in now
With you
Will be the world I live in for the rest of my life*

And then I woke up to reality.

"If I kissed you right now,
Would that be too cheesy?"


Oh my god yeah,
100% too cheesy...

Doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.



                                                                                                                    (w.n.)

Monday, we are lovers
Tuesday, we are complete strangers
Wednesday, you are so nice
Thursday, you are like a devil in disguise
Friday, I want us to be well
Saturday, all you do is yell
Sunday*, we are starting to fall—

I just don't get you at all!

At Monday's lunch you shook my hand
We danced on Tuesday with the band
Wednesday saw us at the park
We kissed on Thursday in the dark
Friday, bells began to sing
On Saturday, I got a ring
And Sunday, dressed in white and blue
I held your hand and said, "I do."

I want to write a
beautiful poem
to tell you
I'm going to
**** myself.

But there are
No words
beautiful enough
to describe to you
the way
I'm about to die.