To you, death

to you I wrote a letter only a lifetime ago
signed as nobody,on the day of never.
In a limbo where I had but a paper and time
to free me from writings of your feather.
An eternity only I begged to stay longer
this contract I've signed I give back.
Enough, you said? No, it wasn't
I thought as you painted me black.



To you, death

you who turned my hourglass upside down
and left her alone to sail the storms of sand.
Saharas in eyes, tears come from another
hides them from world with her hand.
Howls I heard from afterlife, clear and loud
as waves of screams you covered me with.
Drowning me coldly you pulled me under
your heartlessness more than a myth.


To you, death

who closed your eyes at the sight of an ending
seeing such love was a first.
For even you could not reap all we have planted
in the grand Eden on Earth.
Like a snake's venom you infected our heaven
spreading but loss and sorrow.
A disease of the heart, your favourite bred crumb
so you know your way back for tomorrow.

to you, death

who shall receive another letter
signed as a nobody on the days of forever.
In lifetime of being the wind in her hair
she won't feel it again, never.
To touch her face one more time in raindrops
is how I understand bliss.
To shine in her smile as the warmth of the Sun
bathing in ocean's abyss.
To guide her gentle steps in the ground she walks on,
to keep her warm with a flame.
To kiss her lips in the river water
I only can, because I lived again.

To You, Death.

Do not be afraid to take my hand this time,
we've met before but now you're young.
Please, as you're taking me, don't close your eyes
now I walk with you wiser of tongue.
Do not be afraid to guide me tonight
and please have no regrets.
Know that I will gladly meet you
on the side I will pay my debts.
Let's us meet again in peace
now that my chess game is done.
As someone who has become time
and knows you like a son.

Do not be afraid to come for me death,
I promise to go right away.
Do not be afraid to come for me friend,
you can hold my hand if you're scared.

Bottom of spiral
Shine like a marble
Amethyst, silver, and gold.

Grave of the mind
Soothing and kind
Pulling you down to its core.

Sinking in silence
Away from all violence
Gladly you leave with a bell.

Whenever the morning
For you there's no warning
Eternity holding your hand.

emerging from death
patiently waiting
covered with dust
it blossomed
spreading its roots deep
in the ground
moving slowly
between the bones
of old love and new
making its way
trough every heartbreak
new trust has awakened
waiting for me to water it
i'm letting it grow
risking all
hoping for thorns
but this time
only this time
i'm receiving only roses

tired tired tired
dreaming awake in tears
reality is away
unknown
sharp
cold
alone

tired tired tired
how can I live like this
my head is a liar
never ever sleeps
and neither do I
how could I
scared
I may never wake up
the liar will take me
and wake up in my place

how will I ever
sleep again
why would I when
this mind of mine
created a world
of numbers
of patterns
of habits
of pain of loneliness of fear of despair

how can I fight
why would I
get angry
when the lies
took my strength away
slow
lazy
I count

one two three
the windows
one two three
the door
one two three
the sheets

one two three
but how can I check if I'm real

what happened
to our young innocent love
used to light up the sky
colored it red then white.
what happened
to our young innocent love
now it burns the ground I walk on
turns clouds into black giants
colors rain gray
touches my cheek
leaves ****** tears
hate in my heart
and truth in my eyes.
finally I know
we burned too bright,
turned into ashes.
I will rise from it
***** but clean
forget my scars
forget the hate
forget the love
for it is not my own anymore
and I am not myself

What a good day it is
to talk to drops of rain.
What a good day it is
to escape your brain.
What a good day it is
to scare and be scared.
What a good day it is
to be killed and live.

The pain.
Bones cracking,
Skin tearing,
Blood pouring.

The screams.
Of an angel,
Of a demon,
My own.

The monster.
I used to be,
I was meant to become,
I created.

To resist
Or to accept,
The wings
I cannot see?

To trust myself,
To hope for white feathers,
To grow out
Dark roots of my own?

Never to see them,
Never to touch,
But spread them wide
And learn to fly.

there is someone in my mirror,
someone i know well.
its bones are cracked
but it feels no pain.
its lips are black
and eyes are gray.
every now and then
it tries to escape,
it breaks the glass
and cuts its face.
and when we met
it had new scars,
that never hurt,
and never bled.
it counts my words
and then goes mad,
if my hairs are not
perfect on my head.
it tells me where
it tells me when,
and then goes mad
if i don't obey.
it wakes me up
to check the door,
and then goes mad
if it's locked once.
it moans and cries
if i knock three times,
instead of four
which is fine.
it whispers softly
when i walk,
to make sure
my steps are all
carefully counted
four.

Alone again.
Did I let it happen,
Did my ego lose a battle
with this ever-lasting chaos,
It must be so,
Because my ego made it clear,
You will never write again
your paper will stay clean.
And my heavy cloud
aimed at me again,
It became a mask
to hide me from the page.
It hid me from myself
and said this was now me,
It said I have no one to blame
but false reality.
It told me I was perfect,
It told me life's for me,
It told me to forget
the truth and then it buried it.
and just when I imagined
this lie to be my life,
I saw myself in broken glass
and I have had enough.
enough of being human
or falsely living free,
And ego had to die three times
to make my chaos clear.
No more lies,
No more masks,
No more perfect scenes.
now I understand myself,
for who I choose to be.
In my raw reality,
living lies is not for me.
Painted with pain
and scars of my past,
Once more I can create
something that will last.

Memories of cold
before my eyes unfold,
Waking from my dreams
and in my mind they grow.
Today my soul is tempted
but I choose to be patient.
Today I am making peace
with all of my creation.
This is my true face,
This is my rebirth.
The reaper I was hiding from
was living the truth.

Now I know freedom
by the taste of bitter,
And I know I'll soon forget
thoughts that were sweeter.
My destruction is creation,
My death is a new page,
I will write an introduction
with ego's dying breath.

It came with the first rain in October,
the feeling of solitude.
And much like the rain,
it was unwanted
but needed.

another sun is rising without you.
Another morning has come for someone,
but not for me.
Another spring without roses
and another winter of snow.

My dear, dear friend,
how many months has it been
since my soul was young?
How many days have passed
since I did not yet understand?

My dearest friend,
if only I was ready to listen
I would never let them take you
or let you go into the unknown.
I would tell you I understand,
I would tell you not to go yet
or I would go with you.

Dear friend,
in your peaceful sky
you must be happier.
I forgive you for leaving me.
Forgive me for letting go.

My dear, dear friend,
one summer morning
we shall meet again.

I surrender my body to the love burning in me
like a force tearing me apart
and I surrender to the present,
moving timeless waves hidden in a box of flesh.
Fire rushes to reach the surface to leave the shackles of human remains,
wind carries thought to every star sinking into water with drops of tears
and buries them into earth to be reborn every time I look at you.

The astronaut was so close
to the Sun.
He almost felt
the burning of comfort.
He would burn to
not vanish to darkness.
The black hole will never
stop following him.

writing in blood is easy,
writing in tears is necessary,
but writing in smiles
is impossible,
it is taking a pen and closing your eyes
and drawing soft lines and shapes
and missing words to describe the inside
a happy poet is recognized
by an empty paper

The joy
Of a new flower
In the middle of a meadow
The same as all the rest, but not quite

The beauty
Of a new sun
Burning high above the ground
The same as every day, but brighter

The greatness
Of a new day
Of a same life
Of an old world

The greatness
You see
Not with your eyes

so much fear I feel
when this chaos in my head takes over
this panic that makes me lose sleep
for days I dare not to get up
cannot even allow to exist
because his shadow is darker than night
even if his light is found in the Sun
to think about getting burned
is not as fun as being warm
this fear tells me
it is never worth it

You are a purple dawn that sparkles in my eyes before I open them
Your eyes are a golden sunset I drown in whenever you look at me
Your voice is the first song of nature in warm spring
Your skin is a soft petal of a white rose in the meadow
Your love is the sea I dive in like I never have to take another breath

he grabbed my arm and told me to follow
i said no but i wasn't as strong
he kissed my mouth with pure desire
but the only thing i felt was fear
i screamed and fought
but he didn't let go
but bit my neck and moaned

i will never forget the lust in his eyes
or his fingertips pulling me hard
his sweat dripping all over my body
glowing under the stars
and how he ripped my soul
because i wasn't enough
so he left at once
when it stopped being fun

You hugged the smell of cigarettes
Stroked my scarred body
Called my early morning hours beautiful
Drank my silly words
Kissed my hidden sorrow

You always loved my damage

i ******* hope you never forget me
i hope you ***** my words at 2 am
i hope my face haunts you in your sleep
i hope i ******* turned your life around
i hope i challenged you
i hope i crashed your world
i hope i was a hurricane
i hope you were addicted to me
i hope you hated me
i hope i was your ******* nightmare
so that you would never forget the deep mark i left

i wake up
(you aren't next to me)
i get up
(your eyes hold the universe)
i walk the city streets
(your lips as soft as petals)
i go to sleep
(your smile)
i dream
(your beauty)
(your voice)
(your kiss)

You know so little about space
Yet, stars are burning brighter than you could imagine
There are more constellations than you know of
There could be life you will never see

You know so little about my love

Not all people who enjoy the rain are sad
Those who cannot stand the absence of sunshine are going trough hell
for it is the only light in their life

My heart never broke
It never stopped
It was never shattered

My heart kept beating
But it meant nothing
Because the rest of me was dead

Poets show their naked pain

And this, I think
Pouring yourself onto pages
Is the greatest art of all

We should sit on the road
in the middle of nowhere
and tell each other secrets

We should take a walk
in the middle of nowhere
and let our hands touch

We should lay on the beach
in the middle of nowhere
and look at each other's eyes

Until then
my mind will wonder
in the middle of nowhere
looking for you

You make my face red
and put a frown on it
with every word you spit

I cannot stand you
you're a crack in a sidewalk
you never mattered anyways

I wanted to say she smelled like flowers
But I don't like flowers at all
I meant to say her cheeks were as pink as roses
But I hate roses for having thorns

I thought her smile was as warm as the Sun
But I prefer rain over sunshine
I wanted to write her voice was like a summer breeze
But I like winter better

There is nothing to explain
No reason to love her
Yet, she makes me smell roses and carry an umbrella
Yet, she makes me wish for summer in december

I wrote many poems
Not as beautiful as your words
And heard many songs
That could never compare to your heartbeat