Look at the smile on that woman's face
Look at her shoes
Feel her warm embrace
Watch her laugh
Hear her sing
This woman right here is everything

I want to share this with you and I want you to know
That I'll always be there for you I will help you to grow
It may seem as if I'm mad but I'm not
It may seem like I hate you but I don't
I just want what's best for you that's why I called the cops
Maybe they'll teach you that it does no good to stalk

I know that ***** better than I know that mind
I know your mind is probably amazing in so many ways
I bet there is adventure for days
I know you have to have something lovely up in there
I know that ***** drips when I speak to it
When I speak in tongues when I stick in my thumb
I don't know your mind
I do know your ***** is ******* fine

No longer alive
Completely dead inside
These are the feelings we'll feel for an entire life time
Nothing strange goes unheard and for every worm there is a bird
We can't contain this happiness
We can't love and see what's next
Love blinds us and puts us to the test
Why do we stray away from what we know is best?

I would hug you my friend
but my clothes are tattered
my hair's a mess
I don't smell very pleasant either
I want to tell you it's okay
but I'm nothing
I'm under you
I'm living in poverty
you have plans to go to college
I don't have enough money to get me through the week
my friend you mean so much to me
I wish I meant something to you

The trick to writing is to write whatever and whenever

She has sixteen cents and a bottle of coke.
Walking home from Grandma’s in boots and shorts
Her hat hangs low and her mouth is cold
She has sixteen cents and a bottle of coke.
The wind screams loud and the summer gets cold
Her days are young but they seem so old
She has sixteen cents and a bottle of coke.
She walks up to the trees whose leaves are orange and red
Her eyes get black.
She has found a place to lay her head.
She had sixteen cents and a bottle of coke.

I patiently waited for the day I'd get over you
It's finally here and I feel great
A lot of people and places contributed to this
I needed this and prayed for this
I can't wait to see what else the world has to offer
I don't want to see another day personally but I do have a life that I am responsible for and I need to take care of that
I need to build a stronger version of myself and become happier
I need to see me in a different light
I need to become my own best friend again
I missed me so much

I have mastered this at a very young age
Trust me, darling, I feel no pain
You think you're cooler than me
Well I think you're strange
You think you have life figured out and that yo are going to go far
Well guess what ? I hate you now and I egged your car
Your smile is a very sweet one but when you open it to talk at me I want to delete you out of my life
He was taking photos of me and now you're trying to become his wife
You feel like an ancient queen so here's my advice
Ready for it?
Just die.

I love your profile
I love your hands
I love the kisses you give me in advance
I love your voice
Your fingers
Your hair
I love how persistent you are
I love that you're here

I wish that you weren't so negative
I don't want to talk to you because of it
You're like that black shadow in my dreams
You are a cancer taking away everything

Go to bed little child your days have come
To be the adult you’ve wanted to be since you were young
Didn’t mama tell you that your hair is a mess?
Maybe that it why she never got you that dress
Anyways young child please go home
You need to sleep. Your days have come.

I'm starting to see the light
I would say I'm starting to see the light again
but I have never seen it
The sun is coming out
peeking from behind the grey mountain tops
it's going at a fair pace
but things are getting in the way
and stopping it from rising
Those **** crows
always flying in a pack
trying to ruin someones day
my day

Look at that bunny
over there
stay away from it
it looks ill
no longer sane
do you understand?
you'll catch it's disease
if you go any where near it
now I tell you this, child
to keep you safe

Nothing excites me
I go about the world unfocused
I go around hugging strangers because I need it more than them
Drugs are so harsh on the skin

The **** that I have to say to you will never come out right so I have to write
I can not cry
I can not even sing
There is no room to dance otherwise I'd be doing that
So I write
I’ll write tomorrow
I write tonight
I write for you
I write at you

Neglected
Disrespected
The world has me disconnected
Fiery eyes
A very small size
A bad mouth for the window to my soul
A bad colored dress appears less shiny and more dull
A crooked tooth
A former teacher named Mrs. Booth
Books to read that aren't yours
Watching the sky fall on the shore
Lying in the sand where my whole life was planned
With you. Contigo.
With me. There's a seagul.
He pooped on my thigh
It's so brown and now I want to cry
Wait! But that means Good Luck!!
Watch all of my dreams erupt!

save your money
you will soon be hungry

If I keep dishing out poems then maybe some day you will know them
Maybe I will be able to feel free
Maybe one day I will be able to be me
Maybe I will have all of the things I need and I will not have anything stopping me
Practicing for the future making sure I get what I need
Making sure that I will feed me

I have missed you while I was away
I missed your scent and your smile and the way that you played
with me at night then held me tight
you were a constant reminder, everything was alright
again you are here and you are in my face
now you are here and I will never escape from you my dear
I'm so glad that you're here

Slitting her wrists was a cry for help
a very faint whimper
she watched as the blood dropped freely onto her lap
splashing against her tan skin
waiting to feel "okay" again
but this time she didn't
she cut until she felt weak
weaker
weaker
....
gone

She is trying so hard to be famous
I am forever wishing I was nameless
When she looks at me she is so focused
She really thinks that I don't know this
She wants to be me so bad
I just really want to stop being so sad
I have made up my mind...I am moving to LA
She thinks I care about her being away
The truth is I am just trying to make enough money
To get out of here
To be 5 blocks up from Santa Monica Pier
I want to leave myself a mark
I want to leave my light in the spaces where it's dark
When they turn on their lamp they will always have a wet cold feeling
I will be in my beautiful studio apartment just chilling
Just remember me when you look in the mirror
And how I always took away your sadness and fear

He pushed away
I pulled
Tomorrow we'll hang ? Ok
I pushed
He pulled me in
It was like a movie and
I couldn't help but grin
I actually liked it

Good morning
Have a good day
I don't know if these cats are real or if they're fake
I lost my phone
I must have left it at your place by mistake

Up in the morning
Feeling a bit *****
You're fast asleep there
I'm lying in my underwear
Lace chonies but not a thong
I started to play our favorite song
Then I stopped to feel your ****
It's not standing up
I really feel as if I have bad luck
With him or maybe it's just me
I'll please myself and get lost in the galaxy

There are so many bad things that are happening and I am getting irritated more quickly.
What if I told you that I would become famous. What if I told you that one day everyone will know what my name is. What if I told you that I can't seem to shake the shade. What if I told you that I no longer feel comfortable in this bed I made. What if I told you that you were right and what if I never saw the world and never came home at night?

You have a lot of work to be done and I could help you if you'd let me
You won't though cause ***** jeans and stained hoodies is all you know
You filter it in black and white just to look decent on Instagram
We all know that it's fake but you still post that half smile anyway

There is no feeling
There is no remorse
There is nothing that I have left to give to you
There is nothing I can say
I only have me

It feels like I won't be able to love again
I don't know if I am just bored at the thought of it
The touching does not excite me
I am bitter at the thought
The affection and smiles seem synthetic
Because they always have been before
Where do we go to find love again
The answer is that no one knows

You are going to wake up one day and you are going to realize that literally no one cares
You will either use your energy to care about yourself even more than you already do or you will let the sad truth eat you alive and you will do nothing to achieve your goals

It is best to relieve your stress when you are experiencing a dark or confusing moment
I understand that not everyone is meant to get along with me
I understand that not everyone is meant to love me but I am meant to love me so that is what I am doing
I am taking myself out of toxic places and I am growing
I am doing better I am making something of myself and everything is great I have my wealth
Everything is fine
Everything is fine

I made the biggest mistake of my life more than twice
This is clearly not okay yet all I do is cry
I get confused by the things that I like
I pretend that I am doing just fine
When in reality nothing is right

Do what you must and your friends will adjust
And if they don't they aren't your friends and you should probably get away from them

I'm so glad
That I can finally be happy with who I am
I'm so glad
I have the strength to let go of what I once had

I know you have a new love
However, I wish you the best
If you didn't find happiness in me
Maybe someone else will give it to you
As the flower, with so much love you gave me,
withered
I am leaving today I know how to lose
But it hurts so much
If you saw how it hurts to lose your love
I don't know if I can love again
Because I gave you all the love I could give

I feel no pain when i think of you but your friend did something to me
He made me feel but on the lowest key
I am so selfish
You know this
You are not the best kind of person and this day in age is to blame
Your heart is so great
You are amazing
The color of your skin
Your scent
I was crying when I met you
Now I'm dyin to forget you

can you see me?
I am still here
I walk with a limp but I am still here
my eye has a twitch but I am still here
I can feel the heat on the face
I can feel the blades of grass between my soft hands
I can smell the dirt
I am unstructured
But I am here

Change
Change is good
Change is everything
It happens to your face when you sleep
It happens when we look at ourselves the first thing in the morning
When we see how fast the sun has come up
Everything changes
It's constant
It's needed

I write I write about my life
You write you write  about your nights
Out and about and partying
While I live in my room vibing
Just alone and at peace thinking of you
You're my man and I put my trust in you
I'll never fear a day again as long as I have you in my head

They look like love they feel like love
In reality they are not what we want
They are not what we need
We thought that they were our everything
Not everyone can stay and not everyone will leave
Anything done by force can ruin what's in store for you from the universe

I have a lot to do today
You can either come along or you can just stay
I'd be happy either way
I love the thought of you and I love your kiss
I love the thought of you kissing my lips

Sometimes I feel like I could just cry
The way you treat me drives my heart wild
You're so sweet to me and you're so kind
You're learning to be gentle with me I'm so glad that you're mine
I felt so alone before you came along my smiles were just packed away
I felt so numb before you came along
I'll always want you to stay

Not everything should make you feel good about yourself
You'd be in a better position if you cared about your health
Take initiative is what they all say
Stop lying around and quit being afraid
Imagine summer and all of the good things
Imagine winter and all the love it brings
From strangers and from family

It feels so weird because I can't let you go
You can leave me and I can leave you but I'm never going to let you go
You're my man
My *** calls for your hand
I can't let you go
My darling don't you know
I can't leave you
You are part of my life
I can't leave you
Even when things are wrong they're right because you're my man
Understand ?

I am really upset
It's really complex
All of these memories it's hard to forget
All the times we have spent
All the love put into it
All the scary sad days and the temporary happiness

Struggling with the source
Struggling where the next turn will be
Only to realize that I control that decision

The feelings she put you on
You owe her one
Her love is powerful her love is strong
She wants you and loves you
She keeps you warm
She loves you and tells you that you're important

I want to keep writing because I do not want to lose this
Every now and then I feel it slipping
I can't control the way things go
I can control my decisions
I can control what mood I am in
Forever I will be at peace
No longer aggrumentative

Maybe men aren't for me
Looking back they have always gotten in the way of me being my raw true self
They have gotten in the way of making my dreams come true
They got in the way of my hard work
Of my education
Of my family
My friends
Me
And I let them

Getting the urge to write again
Not online but with a journal and pen
There's something about the feeling it brings
When you can just let out everything