The leaves are slowly falling one by one
The cars are getting slower and breaking down
The children are actually behaving
The churches are no longer discriminating
The Netflix and the hulu are actually keeping people out of the streets
So if you are in the position to give your password
Do it
Please
The food is getting healthier
The "pre-teens" are getting meaner
The windshields are cracking way more than they should
The mothers and the fathers are leaving ya'll in the hood
The elders are nosy the youngin's want games
The babies are hungry
The women want fame
The men do not make
good money anymore
And with all of this said
Coming home became a chore

5 minutes feels like forever when we're waiting
and a few seconds when we're talking

Not many people stood by me during my grief
And for that I will forever feel comfortable with doing me
I hope they do not expect much from me
If only they saw me
Doubled over missing you
Holding onto memories too
Trying to live life they way you would
Hoping and praying things got better
They got worse
I had to sit in a bad place for a while
The only thing keeping me going was your smile
I swear it won't fade
I hope you realize that you are still loved
And for you my sister, I am never giving up
I will chase until I am dead

The first lines are so unexciting
Your words are not at all inviting
The way your imagination is set up
Pushes me away
On you, I will give up. I can't give me up
I am here to stay
Your lost words
Your hurt
Can keep their sour energy and turn grey
ok?

I am starting to see that you have nothing to do with me
That I should just up and walk away
For whatever reason it may be
But it is a gut wrenching feeling
For whatever reason
I have to leave you in the dust and not tell you anything
I have to get back on my grind
It takes one step at a time
The things you are saying without even saying it
The places you go and you aren't even paying

I know this feeling
This feeling is not a friend
It will chew you up and spit you out again
Leaving a hard heart
Throbbing veins and head
You can not lay comfortably in bed
You must be up and outdoors
Nothing is more important than your chores
You fear the future you fear the past
Danger lies ahead if this feeling lasts

save your money
you will soon be hungry

I know you have a new love
However, I wish you the best
If you didn't find happiness in me
Maybe someone else will give it to you
As the flower, with so much love you gave me,
withered
I am leaving today I know how to lose
But it hurts so much
If you saw how it hurts to lose your love
I don't know if I can love again
Because I gave you all the love I could give

I don't miss aunt Honey's ******* barbecues at Bear's house
I don't miss her OCD
I don't miss seeing her crown royal and sprite on my adoptive mother's counter
I don't miss her hatered towards toes
I don't miss her

I just cried so much
Sometimes I won't eat because I'm wrapped up in thought
Every now and then I have no one to call
I think of all the good things this life has and I keep smiling
I have to hang on
What will keep me going?
Maybe a sharpened pencil when there is no sharpener
A glass of milk with a large piece of yellow cake and chocolate frosting
Having a mattress on the floor instead of blankets
Having your hand to hold when it 40 degrees out
I think of all the great things and it's hard to complain
Maybe that's why I started writing again

My writing has not been good at all and I think it's because I'm distracted
Every time I close my eyes my brain is doing backflips
I compliment myself because nobody else is going to do it
I compliment myself because everyone else is going through it

Things have been better, I can not complain
I've done too much and I'm very ashamed
This life it just ***** when you're living in vain
I have this Denny's bill and this coffee stain
Will she even remember my name?
Did I try too hard?
Did I f* things up ?
Why is she playing hard to get ? Am I what she wants?
Maybe not

This absent feeling
Just warmed up by the sun
Hungry in the back seat
Just like everyone
She's driving towards home so we think that we are done
Only to pull into the parking lot of another one
The long drives to pick up used items
The starving stomachs and the attitudes
The constant reminder that you better not be rude
The feeling you get when you finally get some food
A bean and cheese burrito
It'll have to do

I patiently waited for the day I'd get over you
It's finally here and I feel great
A lot of people and places contributed to this
I needed this and prayed for this
I can't wait to see what else the world has to offer
I don't want to see another day personally but I do have a life that I am responsible for and I need to take care of that
I need to build a stronger version of myself and become happier
I need to see me in a different light
I need to become my own best friend again
I missed me so much

Nothing is the same with you gone
Everything seems to always go wrong
I think you make me whole
I think you make me feel like myself
More than I can alone
Being with you is necessary if I want to survive
Being with you is  necessary if I want a better life

I have missed you while I was away
I missed your scent and your smile and the way that you played
with me at night then held me tight
you were a constant reminder, everything was alright
again you are here and you are in my face
now you are here and I will never escape from you my dear
I'm so glad that you're here

If I can't hold your hand
I will write to you here
you were so special my Brittany dear
your life was a mess but that is ok because your spirit was so rich and beautiful and loving
People treated you mean
People threw hate
I am sorry that you had to live life that way
You are still my sister no matter where you have gone and I still miss you
I will forever sing your song
I love you sister
So so much

Building a vocabulary is something on my to-do list
Not missing you not missing me or anyone who has anything to do with it
I want to get away with it
I want to do better
I want to believe that there is more
I want it to be special
I will write my poetry whether you approve or not
I will write my poetry and only stop when I get too hot
Or too cold or too hungry
I won't have time to spend all of my money
I will sit and write
I will be alright
I will teach the kids that you must be healthy at night

Look at that bunny
over there
stay away from it
it looks ill
no longer sane
do you understand?
you'll catch it's disease
if you go any where near it
now I tell you this, child
to keep you safe

I was following my passion but then I tried acid
I moved on I lived
I skipped all of my classes

I’ve been wanting to write about this for a while
I’m an adult now
I had an imaginary friend at one point
I didn’t even know she wasn’t real
Looking back I remember her being barefoot all of the time
She had a few strands of color in her hair
When we went swimming in the deep end we’d get yelled at because we didn’t have a partner
She never existed
And I didn’t have any friends at camp redwood glen

Change
Change is good
Change is everything
It happens to your face when you sleep
It happens when we look at ourselves the first thing in the morning
When we see how fast the sun has come up
Everything changes
It's constant
It's needed

He pushed away
I pulled
Tomorrow we'll hang ? Ok
I pushed
He pulled me in
It was like a movie and
I couldn't help but grin
I actually liked it

You came at a really strange time
My feelings were slipping
My everything was confused
I couldn't do anything
There you were
Staring at me
As I walked by
A cold mean stare
Preying on me
You looked hungry
You looked at me as if I was your next meal
Then you attacked
But I fought back so hard
I knew your game so I let you charge
I stayed focused the whole time
Understood every detail and didn't have hopes to make you mine
We got so far into it and then we crashed because you knew that what we had could never last
We tried to block each other it didn't work
I tried to call
You moved
You think that I don't know but I do
What will I do with you ?

I'm starting to see the light
I would say I'm starting to see the light again
but I have never seen it
The sun is coming out
peeking from behind the grey mountain tops
it's going at a fair pace
but things are getting in the way
and stopping it from rising
Those **** crows
always flying in a pack
trying to ruin someones day
my day

I feel no pain when i think of you but your friend did something to me
He made me feel but on the lowest key
I am so selfish
You know this
You are not the best kind of person and this day in age is to blame
Your heart is so great
You are amazing
The color of your skin
Your scent
I was crying when I met you
Now I'm dyin to forget you

I wish that you weren't so negative
I don't want to talk to you because of it
You're like that black shadow in my dreams
You are a cancer taking away everything

Hey,
I'm okay. I am able to rest now. It's so dark in here but I love it. I am able to finally be who I want without judgment
Everyone is so kind and loving
I have a huge yard where I can play football "touchdown"
A big big house it's my father's house
Don't worry bink I am always here with you  I love you forever don't be scared
Tell Ariah I said I love her and tell Ambrosia and Azarae I'll be with them soon.

It is so uncomfortable to write about that bad **** but to hold it in affects my magic I manifest myself away from the madness and I find peace only to not be glad in it because some things are unsolved and the pain still evolves
How to not be embarrassed of this painful mess
How to act like I don't care and forget about the rest
How to find comfort in these actions
How to find it okay to listen the music I keep slappin

This is definitely what I wanted
What I needed really
I think that is why I have no tears left to cry
I understand your pain
I really need all of my love for me because who the helllll is going to feed me when I am hungry
Who??

I can't think of what to write when you are around
I can not focus and I can not think
I know it is horrible because I am working on my poetry so this one is ****** because I do not know what to write.

I want to say that I love you
It's so dumb to
I've loved too many people
How do I know if it's right with you?

You are going to wake up one day and you are going to realize that literally no one cares
You will either use your energy to care about yourself even more than you already do or you will let the sad truth eat you alive and you will do nothing to achieve your goals

Art is the only thing with no boundaries yet you refuse to create you keep this hold on your throat and you let it decide what it does with you.
You could easily choose not to but this is where we are now
I hate to leave you in the dust but this is where we are now
You mean nothing to me and you have meant nothing for the longest time
You have created a horrible life for yourself and you continually blame it on other people and that is not their fault this is your responsibility and you should take care of it
This is what you have to show for what you have worked hard for and I hope it is worth it I hope you find love and peace and happiness and most importantly wealth even though i don't mean financial wealth but I do mean wealth and health and happiness.

Do I love you ?
Do I want to spend the rest of my days with you?
Do you love me?
Is *** all that you want from me?

It feels so weird because I can't let you go
You can leave me and I can leave you but I'm never going to let you go
You're my man
My *** calls for your hand
I can't let you go
My darling don't you know
I can't leave you
You are part of my life
I can't leave you
Even when things are wrong they're right because you're my man
Understand ?

A bunch of sad **** but let's get down to it
Nothing ever really mattered before you met me
I changed you and you let me
You did not like it at first but you slowly made it work
When it did you wanted me to have your first kid
Then you realized that we could not be forever
I was here to teach you a lesson
You were here to show me less than
We were here for a reason
Drunk or not

She thinks it's funny that I rhyme
I think it's sad that she wastes time
It could all be better for the both of us
But what was said will never be undone

There are so many bad things that are happening and I am getting irritated more quickly.
What if I told you that I would become famous. What if I told you that one day everyone will know what my name is. What if I told you that I can't seem to shake the shade. What if I told you that I no longer feel comfortable in this bed I made. What if I told you that you were right and what if I never saw the world and never came home at night?

even if there were a million reasons to stay you would most likely leave
It isn't anything bad you're just like me
But if some other girl would ask you stay you'd do it because home is so far away
It is easier to have this temporary comfort it fits me better than my favorite t shirt

It is best to relieve your stress when you are experiencing a dark or confusing moment
I understand that not everyone is meant to get along with me
I understand that not everyone is meant to love me but I am meant to love me so that is what I am doing
I am taking myself out of toxic places and I am growing
I am doing better I am making something of myself and everything is great I have my wealth
Everything is fine
Everything is fine

evolve or stay the same
I didn't get the chance to do the things I loved because the spirit of depression was so strong
I prayed it away and was able to live another day
When I found out about my powers I shared them with others
They were confused
I now know to keep them to myself and let the world unfold in front of me
Taking apart the sky
Piece by piece
Not ever understanding poetry
I guess I could educate myself
Figure out how they dress
How they talk
What they listen to
I will be less like me and be more like you because I deserve to live a long happy life
No matter what I tell the others I too have a dream
I will feed that dream no matter what it takes
I will do what brings a smile to my sons face

I can feel that you are annoyed but it's only when other people are around
I have met so many men like you
This isn't my first rodeo down town
You're fake
You want to date

I'm just really upset
It's really complex
All of these memories it's hard to forget
All the time we have spent
All the love put into it
All the scary sad days and the temporary happiness

The feelings she put you on
You owe her one
Her love is powerful her love is strong
She wants you and loves you
She keeps you warm
She loves you and tells you that you're important

No longer alive
Completely dead inside
These are the feelings we'll feel for an entire life time
Nothing strange goes unheard and for every worm there is a bird
We can't contain this happiness
We can't love and see what's next
Love blinds us and puts us to the test
Why do we stray away from what we know is best?

Neglected
Disrespected
The world has me disconnected
Fiery eyes
A very small size
A bad mouth for the window to my soul
A bad colored dress appears less shiny and more dull
A crooked tooth
A former teacher named Mrs. Booth
Books to read that aren't yours
Watching the sky fall on the shore
Lying in the sand where my whole life was planned
With you. Contigo.
With me. There's a seagul.
He pooped on my thigh
It's so brown and now I want to cry
Wait! But that means Good Luck!!
Watch all of my dreams erupt!

Because you're free to be you
You're free to do the things you need
If people hurt you then you're free to be mean

Do what you must and your friends will adjust
And if they don't they aren't your friends and you should probably get away from them

You lay strapped to a hospital bed
I want you to come home and smile again
Before the chemicals, before all of this
I'm still sitting by the telephone just to hear you say:
"I'm sorry that you're scared to live another day alone inside of my head
Pills do nothing, just like my friends
My long sleeve shirts are still stuck to my skin"