There are entire worlds
behind your eyes.
Stories hiding deep inside.
Places where hopes and dreams thrive.
Places where
...maybe...
my heart can reside.
Worlds where the irational things
exist rationally.

I swear,
Behind your eyes
there are worlds
that I
could travel far and wide,
Where I
could see the beginning
and the end of time.


And I know
Your eyes hold secrets.
But so do mine.

Honestly,
all I want
lately,
is to trust you,
completely.
I just need
to know
if I am safe
to let go...

If I release
and expect peace
only to have my heart
ripped apart
piece by piece...
How will anything be left
for me to give away
to someone
who I hope will stay?

Is it the future that I fear?
The war
always ever near?
But really, so what
if life is unclear?
I can hear
the whispers of my Lord,
who is always nearer,
who's sole purpose:
to steer
my ship to safety.
He brings to me
those good tidings
of joy
and peace.
This war I'm fighting...
the uncertainty
overwhelming me...
everything
has already been won
By the love and sacrifice
of the Almighty Son.
He who bids unto all men,
"come."

I don't know.
I'm sad
and I'm mad
about being so sad.
Because I know life isn't so bad,
and I'm trying to add
more of the happiness I've previously had
and I'm so dang glad
I mean, I can see the blessings I have.
But no matter how bad
I want to not be sad
or how hard I try...
I still sit here with tears in my eyes
and I'll tell you "I'm fine."
And you know it's a lie;
I'm holding on for dear life.
I am tired
and the fire
in my eyes?
Along with my cloudy heart,
and the cloudy skies;
those flames
are dimming
going out with the city lights
in the middle of the night
Like if I just hide
and take some time
to get things right
The despair will somehow
dissapear from my mind.
Maybe if I try
being kind
to myself
...and my heart and my mind
I will be fine
sometime.

Can I just say
***** you for alwasy leaving me
to question things?
To wonder what the heck will come of you and me?
What in Hell
made you think it was okay
to treat me like I was just a game
a fragile heart created for your play?

***** you
for leaving me blaming myself
***** you
for leaving me to worsen my own health.

And I know it's unfair for me to blame you.
You were young too
and I know you didn't know what on earth to do
about the days that my heart was soaking more in black than blue.

But I think that it was you
that handed me the dye.
You brought back the hate
and allowed me paint
the black abyss
in which
I sunk deeper
with all your lies.

And you try to come back
just when I've creawled out
like a slap
to the face,
a silent shout
into the void,
the abyss, a vaccuum
muting all noise.

And thank goodness for that.
the silence
because you can't take back
all of your lies
and I can't take
any more of your bull