Red turns to white,
                             Slowly, but surely
The wounds close,
                             You regret
But not forget my friend,
                             How can you?
Soon you will move on,
                             But one thing will stay
Erase me with your mind,
                             Your little white lines

I go on my computer, to try and do something new
I try opening up the pictures that I once took of you

A bold message displays across my screen
"Error" it reads, I know exactly what it means

I guess what they say is true, it never processed in my head
Its hard to reach old memories
When someone you love is dead

Im still waiting for it to be over
For my pain to leave
For the darkness to fade
For my hands to stop shaking
For my lips to stop trembling
For my eyes to stop crying
For my tears to stop falling
For my legs to start walking
For my arms to start swaying
For my back to start bending
For my nose to start breathing
For my ears to start hearing
For my hair to start growing
For my emotions to start showing
For my mind to start working
And for my heart to start beating

Im so numb

I cant feel anymore
My body drifts away from my soul
And my mind leaves to a far away place
It lives with a demon whose name I've forgotten

You wake up from a deep sleep
The only break you'll ever get
From the pain that never goes away
And the world that tries to bet

You see flowers blooming in the garden
Spring has arrived and winter has past
But the coldness that lives inside you
Will continue to last

Stop following me
I've had enough of this
I told you a million times I'm done
But the invisible shadow holds on tight
There's no place you can run

The school bell rings it's awful ring
Your late again it's no surprise
You wish the people surrounding you
Could see the pain that fills your eyes

One hour feels like a day
And a minute like a few
Staring at the clock
Is now the only thing you do

I don't know why it must be me
To have to deal with this
Or anyone for that matter
It only makes you ******

I just want to feel normal
And be who I want to be
Be like the ones who walk around with no fears
No amount of words can express
How much I want that to be me

I've tried so many things
I mixed so many potions and creams
I'm still waiting for the day
Where I can finally live out my dreams

To show everyone who I am
And how much I can do
To prove to all the heartless
How much I have improved

But still the shadow follows me
It wraps around my heart
It waits for me to give up
It waits deep within the dark

It feels like the end
I can never get a grip
Get away I always yell
But I fall and I trip

Down I fall over and over
The light becomes distant and grey
My curtains close and lock
The dark is where I lay

For my life is like an ocean
That is trapped inside a sphere
A ruthless demon shakes and stirs it
A silent scream is all I hear

I've tried the pills
And I've count to ten
But I'm still trapped inside this darkness
An ink cartridge in a pen

I try to unlock the doors
To shove the darkness out
But darkness always wins
I'm stuck within this drought

I'm struggling to breathe
And I shake with every move
I'm still searching for that holy grail
That will **** the pain and soothe

It might be days
It might be years
I may never find a cure
But I know that I am stronger than most
Because of all I have endured

So as I turn off the lights to go to sleep
I know it's not the end
But I know I'm one step closer
To say goodbye to my best friend