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Dec 10 · 403
Trauma
Queen Bee Dec 10
The constant interaction gives me PTSD.

I need a release from this trauma.
This fury, anger and despair.

Your longing for togetherness remains clear, dispute causing the ending.

But once you shut that door.
I locked it with chains

Hell, I moved far away.
Looking for a brighter tomorrow.
All friendships end but when you want that end don't go back on your word. We all need to recover from the trauma you have instilled. When you end a friendship, don't look for revenge or a reconciliation. Especially when you broke it on false information.
Oct 23 · 228
Betrayal
Queen Bee Oct 23
Betrayal.
A constant occurrence.
Yet I do not learn.
The value of distance.
The value of observation.

Betrayal.
When will I learn?
To stay away.
From the very man kind.
Whose clutches constantly disappoint.

Betrayal.
When will I learn?
Few are truthful.
Few are deserving,
Of my love,
Of my friendship.

Betrayal.
A constant occurrence.
By those dearest to your heart.
Stay warm hearted towards everyone but don't make everyone your dear friend. Not everyone deserving of your love.
Jan 2020 · 114
Just passing by
Queen Bee Jan 2020
Many,
Has come...

Many,
Has gone...

Few,
Has stayed...

Eyes,
Redden...

Lips,
Smiled...

Seemingly,
It all passes by...
For those people you can't keep
Jul 2019 · 406
Signals
Queen Bee Jul 2019
You were ready,
To be a target.

So said,
Your clear signals.

When...
I took a shot.

And...
It was a direct hit.

You moved...
At the last second...
Jul 2019 · 954
Realisations
Queen Bee Jul 2019
Finally...
I got ,
The grasp,
Back on,
My heart.

I let,
All the feelings,
Out.
To,
The cause,
Of,
My confused heart.

Unforseen,
Difficulties,
Were faced.
But I came,
Better out,
In the end.

For Love,
Is,
Not,
For,
The faint hearted.

Moving forward...
Is all solution...
Currently...
Move forward..
Jun 2019 · 337
My heart
Queen Bee Jun 2019
My heart,
Is lost,
In another...

And...

It doesn't,
Seem,
To find,
It's way back...
The love i cant seem to express...
Jun 2019 · 219
Family
Queen Bee Jun 2019
FAMILY,
We all seek.
FAMILY,
Most don't have.
Keep them close,
When you do.
For FAMILY,
Is the most,
Important thing,
There is.

Support structure,
Of most.
Giving us strength,
To pass through,
The day.
Giving us life,
Giving us love,
With no strings.
Present in our lives.
Not always blood related.
Can be friends,
That become FAMILY.

FAMILY,
Gives us hope,
Faith,
And strength.
To face our struggles,
In life.

This is my FAMILY.
With so much love,
You are always,
By my side,
No matter the distance.
I love you,
And,
I miss you.

My FAMILY ♥
Jun 2019 · 606
Memories
Queen Bee Jun 2019
Its better,
To forget,
Everything...

Then,
To remember,
Something,
Everyone else,
Has forgotten...
Wishing we could all forget the pain of the past...
Jun 2019 · 368
Love yourself
Queen Bee Jun 2019
The things we do,
For people we love.
But wat about "you",
Don't we love ourselfs.
Cause we,
Keep on putting,
Our needs one side,
To help others...
Take care of yourself first
Jun 2019 · 241
Unrequested Feelings
Queen Bee Jun 2019
Innocent Bystander.
Love over takes many.
Expressions takes places.
Rejected through,
Feelings not returned.
Many agree.
Others taken,
To heart.
When others fall for you,
But you love another...
Jun 2019 · 281
Untold Feelings
Queen Bee Jun 2019
I miss u so much
I wish
I could
Express these feelings
To you
But you said
I shouldn't cry
I should be strong
Therefore
I don't want to
Cry
Infront of u

I wish i could
Express this feelings
To you
But I'm scared
Of
What you will say
To me
Im scared
Cause i know
This
Will lead somewhere
Good
I know
But im afraid
For my uncertainties
Always takes over
Where emotions
Is concerned
Its my
Defense mechanism
From Love
To keep
My heart safe
For You
From Me
May 2019 · 249
Questions???
Queen Bee May 2019
New found love?
Obsession?
What gives?
Can it be?
I'm over you?
Given
This feelings
I gained
For another...
No comment...
Confusion
Has taken over
May 2019 · 156
This thought of you
Queen Bee May 2019
This thought of you
Away from me
Gives tears in my eyes
Pains in my chest
Your touch
I wish to feel
The amazing times
I wish to revisit

The thought of you
Gives my thrills
Though my body
Wishing
you were here
Holding me
Wipes my constant tears
But when I wipe it myself
I realise you
You wont return
My window has closed
For now

What I do know...
My love for you
Is unfulfilled
Through
My love for you
Never got its due
It runs deeper
Then you can see
Giving you this
And receiving it back
Is all I wish for
From you...
- B
Apr 2019 · 205
Life
Queen Bee Apr 2019
Me.
I don't ask.
For much.
But when I do.
I expect it to be done.

Am I wrong.
To do this.
Does it sound.
Selfish.
I wonder...

Been doing everything.
For others.
Most days.
Of my life.
With no gratitude.
Given.

Today.
My goodness.
Is not enough.
Am I so.
Enclosed.
For others to see.
I care.
I don't mind.

People throwing.
Lies.
Around like.
Old shoes.
Giving others.
Ammo.
To ruin.
What is a.
Simple life.
I live.

Don't be so.
Hostle.
They say.
Smile.
They say.
But little do they know.
The life I live.
Filled with ******.
I most times.
Can't endure.

Life Mona....
And that's all she wrote.
Apr 2019 · 713
Past lovers
Queen Bee Apr 2019
Thru I still think of us.
In the past.
I mask the pain.
With a smile.
The simplest way.
To keep sain.

Though you are in sights.
I resist from contact.
Through I know.
The consequences.
Of going back.

Here I stand...
Sit...
Lie...
With worry.
On my mind.
Did I do...
The right thing?
Of letting you go.
Letting you leave.
With no explanations.

Worry leaves me.
When happiness.
Overflow my being.
Through pretending to smile.
It became a reality.

All I wish now is.
For us to.
Never cross paths.
For that may.
Bring back.
The love.
I have.
Hidden away.
To all my past lovers. Each one has showed me love and gave me happiness for a while.
Apr 2019 · 188
Forget
Queen Bee Apr 2019
Stop thinking to much.
Keep your mind busy.
Forget all the thoughts
And the pain attached to them.
Remember the good.
In the present.
And past.
Apr 2019 · 437
Confessions
Queen Bee Apr 2019
This feelings I feel.
Is unclear.
You confuse me.
With your unrelated silence.
I want to confess.
But.
I fear.
Your answer.
We speak in riddles.
Most days.
When it gets real.
I feel like running.

Real commitment.
Gives me chills.
We speak of flings.
We speak of real love.
We speak of all things.
Real life.
Nothing brings us apart.
But.
When feelings  gets.
Involved.
We fall apart.

Honesty may break our bond.
Our bond of friendship.
Risks.
Is it worth it.
Will the next step.
Break us down.
Or.
Build us up.
My master piece
For W
Apr 2019 · 381
Demons
Queen Bee Apr 2019
Admiration.
Turned to dust.
Uncertain love.
Vanquished.
Through your demons.
Are to much.
For one to bear
For Z
Apr 2019 · 239
Forced Attractions
Queen Bee Apr 2019
When we met, you said you struggle to love in short.
As timed pass,
You showed love.
You showed care
You gave comfort.
I felt these things, oozing out of your being.
Later you showed more interest.
You were committed.
To Me,
To Us
You gave me hope.
But.
I got excited to soon.
You started showing reluctance.
You spoke less u
And less
Until nothing was said.
Through body and words.
We become an uncertainty in my eyes.
When it was filled.
My heart was torn to pieces.
Life happened
And like that we become an 'I' again
For Z.
The one i wished to love with all my heart.
Apr 2019 · 184
Secret Love
Queen Bee Apr 2019
Not all Love.
Is to be.
Known.
By.
The world
Apr 2019 · 359
Unforeseen Love
Queen Bee Apr 2019
Smiles all over.
All I ever wanted.
Was occurring.
Just got back.
From my dark days.
Life seemed clear.

Then You came.
Gave Your sweet words.
And it was on.
Slowly it become more.
And more.
I fell.
Like no other.
When reality struck.
It showed me flames.
My love for you.
Came unknowingly.
Decided to show You.
Love.
But all you gave.
Was tears.

I received a ticket.
Out.
I took it.
I ran.
You chased.
Silence took over.
Then
I chased back.
You acknowledged.

But when it spilled.
You ran away.
And left me.
In the darkness.
Of my uncertainties.

You are the love I gained unknowingly.
And.
The love I throw away knowingly.
For my sanity.
For B. The one I fell for unknowingly.
My love for you can't be erased.
Apr 2019 · 176
Disruptions
Queen Bee Apr 2019
It all began in a place like no other.
A house of hope and support
From family , Friends.
Not all was well.
Like it never is.
Life just started feeling good
Until a situation disrupted life.
Negativity entered
Life wasn’t the same again.
Friends come and left
But family stayed of cause.
Not all of them.
Strangers become friends then family.
Through thick and thin they strived in battle.
For the enemy was all around them.
Teaching them their ways of life.
Teaching them to become the enemy.
Apr 2019 · 217
LOVE
Queen Bee Apr 2019
I wished to start over.
Love become to much.
For my taste.
I left the past behind.
Along with it.
My uncertainties.
Life become simpler.

As everyone knows.
It won’t remain.
For long.

You made a move.
Without my knowledge.
It felt unreal.
Things become certain again.
Love blossomed.
Though tough times we faced.
It felt good.

As everyone knows.
Even happiness.
Doesn’t last.
Long.

Distance become your forte.
Silence your words.
Your mind else where.
Heartache approached.
From no where.
When questioned.
Answers become clear.
With reasons unforeseen.
Love still in the mist.
But uncertainties over took you.
And gave us its end.

You are the love I found.
And.
I am your love you gave away.
For K my first love
Apr 2019 · 871
Cravings
Queen Bee Apr 2019
I lie here with you.
On my mind.
Your touch.
Your hold.
Your grasp.
Being in your arms.
Is all I crave.
The touch of comfort.
You always gave.

— The End —