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  May 2017 Kee
ester
Where did all the promises go?
Were all the “I love you”s as empty as your heart was?
My heart aches for you
It always will
But you don’t seem to get that
You’re the one causing me so much pain
Yet you blamed me for feeling too much.
#11
Kee May 2017
Our love wasn't really love, but it still hurt when I saw her.
I whisked away the pain like whisking the lumps out of cake batter.
They were still there.
Just like my love for you was.
It's silly because it's been so long but every time we talked I still felt your touch as if you were right next to me,
Like you used to be.
Just as warm as I remembered.
And I shouldn't think about the imaginary 'us' because I'm supposed to be in love with someone else but,
I just love you,
So much.
I didn't think you'd be with someone so soon.
I knew that you wouldn't wait around,
but I had this bit of hope that you'd stay, just a bit longer.
I pushed you of my head,
But, here you are again, making me remember things I shouldn't.
At least not while I'm with him.
He doesn't make me smile like you did.
Or laugh,
Or cry.
He's not you and I'm having a hard time trying not to compare him to you but it's so hard when all I can think of is you,
With her,
And her,
With you,
And the love we had,
Gone.
Things happen, right? Lol, nothing you can do about it. Love is ****** sometimes.
  May 2017 Kee
SheOfNeverland
I've been living in silence for years
Through unspoken words and
Unshed tears I waited for
The words to flow, to go
From head to pen to paper
A trip they've made so many times before
A road they know, or knew
Until I met you.
You stopped the sadness that bred
The madness which inspired me,
Back when my words roamed free
And thoughts came alive in song.
For so long I hid behind a book
Without a second look at passersby
Content to live and die with only
Words besides me.
You came along like a summer storm
Out if nowhere, fierce and wild
Awakening the child that
Forgot how to laugh.
I never liked to force a line
But from time to time I grew tired
Of reason and rhyme and forgot
The simple beauty of a phrase
To help get me through the days.
Kee May 2017
How long should I sit here and pretend that I haven't wanted to end it for 17 years?
How long should I say 'I'm good' when I was just crying the bathroom ten minutes ago?
How long should I stare in the mirror and say 'Maybe I'll cut my hair tomorrow' knowing deep down I won't go for the next six months.
How long should I avoid the inevitable?
How long is too long?
How long can I look at this world, this society, and think that this is the type of world I want to live in?
Kee May 2017
Lying under  this smile is my sadness.
I told you I was fine, but I was lying.
I thought you were just joking, that you really hadn't fallen in love with someone new.
I guess I really thought we could be something, too.
I know it's not the first time that I've gotten my hopes up and they've died but, this time felt different.
Somehow, each time time always feels different.
More or less hope.
He's handsome, I won't deny that.
Funny, I can admit that too.
But meant for you?
No.
I guess I waited too long.
Let's see how long this lasts, and maybe then...
I'll have hope again.
I don't know where I was going with this, I just wanted to write something.
It doesn't have to have a story behind it but if it does...
She's in love with her best friend who's straight.
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