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991 · Dec 5
Haiku 5/12/24
Emma Dec 5
Silent ruins stand,
Ghosts of a lost world whisper,
Dust cloaks barren dreams.
Emma 6d
boundless trust erupts,
naïve like a child’s bright gaze—
chaos whispers loud.

choices carved in haste,
fragile bridges left to burn—
echoes haunt the heart.
Although mania brings with it joy energy and hope it also comes with haste bad decisions. I tend to be too naive and unpredictable.
649 · Nov 20
Entrance
Emma Nov 20
They make their entrance—
She in lipstick red, he in black,
A beacon and a shadow,
All eyes on them,
Where whispers collide
And lower boundaries break.

Jealousy blooms—
A ripened fruit, **** and swollen,
A secret bite beneath his skin,
An angry itch crawling inwards,
She, the *****, the sin, the blame—
A ***** temptation,
An addiction burned into the flesh.

Strangers move among them,
Faces of mirrors reflecting her shame,
Eyes refracting his rage,
Life stretches thin,
An LSD trip spiraling,
Searching for meaning
In symbols of truth
Without faith to anchor
The screaming void.

Why the waiting?
Why the blame?
She—
The failure to society’s equation,
They—
A fleeting beautiful façade,
Polaroid shots and pixelated likes,
A collage of nothing,
Of no regrets,
Of red smears on broken mirrors,
And the scent of smoke lingering
Long after the fire dies.
531 · Nov 30
Fading Welcome
Emma Nov 30
Time eats its decay,
Bouquet of flowers wilts slow,
Welcome fades away.
463 · Nov 16
Temple of Tomorrow
Emma Nov 16
She wanted to blow a hole
Inside the temple of tomorrow,
Ripping the facade of false hope,
Shattering dreams she cannot borrow.

"Tell me! Accept me! Forgive my weaknesses!"
The screams of a soul torn apart,
A monster forged in the furnace of hatred,
Their abuse painted across her heart.

Only the burn of chemicals calms the beast,
Trapped in the past, never released.
Another hit to muffle the cries,
But demons resurface as the high dies.

Death whispers with a silencer's breath,
Golden child lies in the shadow of death.
She, the unwanted, she, the broken,
Rage withdraws where words are unspoken.

He never fought them, never stood tall,
Just smiled as she crumbled, watching her fall.
"Look in the mirror, who will save you now?"
Her reflection screams, but she doesn’t know how.

Comfort carved in the lines of her flesh,
Destruction's lover, her only caress.
"Don’t leave me all alone!" she cries,
Echoes of pain through empty skies.

A child estranged, silent and cold,
Unaware of the horrors untold.
She bears the weight, the scars of despair,
A temple in ruins, no one left to care.

So she screams to the void,
To the gods of tomorrow,
Take her sorrow, take her sorrow!
But they leave her hollow.
444 · 2d
boundaries
Emma 2d
finger-painting walls,
soft whispers guard fragile light,
hope flickers within.

brushstrokes of my trust,
boundaries bloom like wild fields,
strength begins to grow.

abstract shadows fade,
in colors, I find my voice,
the self stands aglow.
429 · Dec 8
Haiku 8/12/24
Emma Dec 8
Sharp winter branches,
blue-black bruises pierce the lake,
stillness cuts the air.
Winter walk.
Emma 5d
You're slipping, love, like sand through my hands,
Each word you fling cuts, each silence expands.
I’ve waited, I’ve warned, I’ve whispered my plea,
But this path you tread moves you farther from me.
Soon, I'll be gone—just a shadow you'll see.
317 · Dec 1
Sunday Love
Emma Dec 1
In quiet hours, Sundays unfold,
Lying in bed, our stories retold.
Side by side, hands softly entwined,
Whispers of moments, tenderly aligned.
Simple love, a treasure, gentle and bold.
272 · Nov 27
Haiku 27/11/24
Emma Nov 27
Barefoot children sleep,
Forest bloom hide's dark desire~
Noose of **** and tears.
Emma Dec 5
things break—
(always)—the weight of
air bends glass
the soft touch of
a hand can ruin
the threadbare lace of time.

see:
the bridge collapses
not from thunder but from
a whispered wave;
& leaves
never fall without breaking
into rain.

even stars crackle—
embers of light split
across the Architect's canvas,
threadbare constellations
that no longer
hold.

but perhaps
(it is written
in the marrow of creation)
that breaking
is not ruin
but a turning:

this shatter is the song
of a world remade,
of a sky that bleeds
its gold into
the earth.

(even the great
Architect, it seems,
lets things fall)
so that
we may learn
to build.
Everything breaks.
Emma Nov 15
The eyes—mirrors of sins, fragments of something deeper, darker—reflected back as she stared, hollow but alive in the stillness. She felt the starvation of the beast within her, pacing, clawing, a quiet desperation gnawing at her ribs. Her wings spread like the golden dawn's promise, a cruel mirage of escape, yet the weight of life pulled her back, anchoring her to the earth.

In the quiet hours, he whispered, we’re always alone, and the words nestled like burrs in her mind, scratching, lingering. She felt their truth seep in, unavoidable and raw, threading itself into the fabric of her mind like stitches holding together a wound that refused to heal.

Vivid dreams clawed at her in sleep—visions of other lives, other faces, shadowed figures speaking to her in gestures, fingers dancing in sign language, secrets woven in the air. She would wake in paralysis, shackled in silence, eyes wide as if staring into a void that she knew was watching her, always watching.

Scars of hope, she thought, tracing the lines on her arms, the stories she'd written in flesh, layered beneath the numb veil of sedatives. She had cut past ties in time, sharp and clean, slicing away the tethers that bound her to memory, to faces that no longer lingered in her dreams. Every attempt had been a rebirth, each suicide a reawakening of truth. And yet, she had awoken again, the wilting pulse of survival pressing her forward.

The elders would decide—her fate, her future, as if it were some verdict to be handed down from faceless arbiters of her despair. She walked into the darkness as if it were her home, her familiar lover, arms open to its hollow embrace, knowing it would never abandon her. There were no more tomorrows, only a slow descent into silence, punctuated by the beat of a dying heart.

And as the night stretched on, she listened
241 · Dec 9
ferry ride to work
Emma Dec 9
clouds embrace the sky,
horizon meets the dark sea,
shadows weave their tale.
So we cross island to island each morning.
236 · Dec 1
Haiku 01/12/24
Emma Dec 1
1
He treats me frugally,
Stones weigh heavy in my dress—
Silent pockets sigh.

#2
Weight of pebbles rests,
Tongue holds silence, heavy truth,
View blooms slow but sure.

#3
Earth’s weight embraces,
Final breath yields to stillness,
Roots weave my return.
Studying the concept of weight in a relationship.
234 · Dec 9
The Bleeding Tree
Emma Dec 9
Beneath the moon’s cold, watchful eye,
A tree stands silent, wounds run deep.
Its bark is scarred; its sap won’t dry,
For every name, it’s bound to keep,
A curse etched there for souls to weep.

The lovers carved with thoughtless blade,
A fleeting vow, a whispered kiss.
Now shadows dance where dreams once played,
And roots ache for a simpler bliss,
While haunted whispers twist and hiss.

Its leaves grow heavy, dark with grief,
Each scar a wound that will not fade.
No time nor sun brings it relief,
For memories cruelly invade,
And turn its strength to ghostly shade.

Yet still it stands, though bent and worn,
A bleeding shrine to fleeting youth.
Its rings hold tales of hearts forlorn,
Each scar a fragment of the truth,
A silent ode to love’s unsooth.

Oh, bleeding tree, what stories keep?
What specters linger in your boughs?
Do ghosts of lovers dream or weep,
While nature kneels in solemn vows?
Your endless scars, their endless plows.
We carved our initials into a tree bark long ago.
233 · Nov 20
Dodoitsu Tulips at Dusk
Emma Nov 20
Blade cuts through the dusk,
Tulips bow with fleeting grace,
Shadows stretch to meet the night—
Silent petals fall.
228 · Nov 16
A Violent Serenade
Emma Nov 16
The time has come, sacred moments dissolve,
Death is near, in fevered sleep she shudders,
Which God will intercept, which will absolve
The cruel execution of all she was.

The tarot cards laid, a commitment of words,
Symbols splayed like scattered bones—
She gazed at the past without shame,
Misfortune befell her, but she bore no blame.

Her Mama didn’t tell her, but she was pregnant with hope,
A fragile thread spun in the thick silence of her family.
He never wanted her; his cruelty the well she fell into,
Distant, manic decisions thickened the air with dread.

A loyal stranger came—one she remembered.
His face, a forgotten constellation,
Lush with delicate promise, a future reimagined,
Yet lost without him, innocence reborn
Only in the darkened quiet of mourning halls.

Her home, her body, no pardon granted,
A flight of black-winged lies,
Receding violin strings, a violent serenade—
The twinkle of mischief in a past love’s eyes,
A storyteller spinning laughter to mask the wounds.

Will reality recover in celebration,
Or crumble under the weight of sacred shame?
No certainty remains, only the violin’s wail,
And the thick silence of her family—
Forever in mourning, forever without absolution.
224 · Nov 18
Haiku attempt.
Emma Nov 18
Auburn leaves descend,
Crimson peaks hold silent grief,
Loveless whispers Death.
Emma Nov 22
Passed out, nearly dead from ****** asphyxiation—his black belt a makeshift noose, tightened not by malice but by an ill-defined yearning to suffocate under the weight of his own desires. Strangers enter like clockwork, their faces veiled by cheap rubber masks, their identities erased in the monochrome of a shuttered room. The air inside is static, thick with the smell of sweat and latex, a claustrophobic sanctuary where sins bloom like black orchids. Outside, the window shutters drop in unison, as if the world itself conspired to cloak these transgressions in shadow.

In the asylum's hallways, fluorescent lights buzz like trapped bees. Patients—witnesses, voyeurs, and unwilling participants—stare through glassy eyes and scream incoherent hymns to no one in particular. The sound ricochets off padded walls, a crescendo of human failure. He stands motionless, still as a gravestone, pipe in hand. The pipe, of course, being not for music but for alchemy—a chemical talisman offering numbness in exchange for pieces of his soul. The smoke snakes upward, thin and gray, a ghost of decisions past.

She sits opposite him, a queen in a throne of peeling vinyl, her pupils shrinking to pinpoints, tiny black holes pulling in whatever remains of the room’s light. He leans in, their mouths meeting in a kiss that isn’t romantic so much as transactional, a blowback of toxins exchanged like whispered secrets. Her sweat drips down her temple, saline proof of a shared feverish delirium. Behind her, the low hum of voices blends with the rhythmic hiss of an oxygen tank. Somewhere, someone’s kidney is failing, a fact no one seems concerned about.

Broken promises hang in the air like the smell of burnt rubber. A story, they think—if either could still think—was written here, but not on pages. No, it’s etched in the sands of time, or maybe just in the damp carpet beneath their feet. This isn’t love, but it’s the closest thing to it they’ll ever know, and that’s enough.

The color blue pulses in the corner of the room, a glow from an ancient cathode-ray tube leaking static like plasma. Mystical healing? No. Just the underwater rush of losing, of dying, but never quite crossing the finish line. There’s a plague among lovers, spreading through their touch, their whispers, their lies. It’s in the air, the water, the way they inhale each other’s breath, taking in the poison with no promise of the antidote.

He collapses first, the belt still loose in his hand, and she laughs—a soft, low sound that fills the void. Her laugh says everything: "We tried, didn’t we?"
Friday prose
Emma Nov 23
For it was not anger but sorrow—
At the Abandonment—laid bare—
The dandelion—blown to pieces—
Wishes scattered—everywhere.

She could hear their Thoughts—their Fears—
A chorus—soft—yet sharp—
She wished to hide inside herself—
A hollow—without a harp.

Self-medication’s quiet needle—
Addiction’s velvet glove—
She yearned for Home—but found illusion—
A mirage—far from Love.

She stared into the blank horizon—
Falling—farther still—
A call for asylum—ghostly scribes—
No cure for her ill will.

They stopped questioning the Overdose—
What happens—must occur—
We take precautions—but in the end—
The void—we will still endure.

He lied—his promises dissolving—
No Trust resides in Truth—
Sabotaged—her fragile Being—
An existence—gone uncouth.

The grace of a lone sparrow falters—
Circles—spiraling near—
Yet never reaching—centers hollow—
215 · 4d
he's always around
Emma 4d
He eats at my soul with a lover's slow hand,

Each bite a hymn, each wound carefully planned.

His silence, a gospel, his shadow a prayer,

I light every candle, but he's always there.

A feast in the dark where no one can stand.
209 · Nov 30
Haiku 30/11/24
Emma Nov 30
River streams whisper,
Unconscious dreams cascading,
Infertile, fall fades.
Emma 1d
no price on the wind,
whispered soft, "Forgive me, friend."
hearts mend without cost.
Sometimes an apology is not enough.
201 · Dec 6
Chains of Letting Go
Emma Dec 6
Heart cast to the wind,
Yet your name haunts every breath,
Freedom's hollow curse.
201 · Nov 18
A Little Death
Emma Nov 18
Soul vibrating—like glass on the edge of shatter,
the agony of not remembering, like remorse
etched in an open book,
its pages bleeding black, each word a wound.
The broken shards of the crystal palace
weep; a smashed pomegranate in her fists
stains the heartbeat of the masked ball,
crooked smiles and silver spoons
tipped like scales.

A dead doe sprawled, limbs askew in disbelief,
raw rage pulsing through the velvet remains.
He had nicknames for me once—
they fell like brittle leaves,
like breath dissolving into silence.
His touch: a misunderstanding.
She mouths a sigh,
a war of misgivings tangled
in the brittle branches shuddering,
their spines bending in ******
as the wilderness within her blood
claws back its dominion.

There are roads, forking away
from the universe’s trembling center,
stolen sorrows carving their marks
into the flesh of the sky.
The curtain wavers; a storm rises,
seas crash in her eyes,
and she scrapes her knees on prayers
that fall empty,
arms stretched wide for the pedestals
that crumble like ash.

The itch behind blue-tinged eyelids festers.
The messenger of salvation—laughing, drowning—
sinks into the salt of her tears.
Grief is a wrap of thorns;
forgetfulness, a tender blessing.

We, the forgiven, sleep
with teeth bared against the dark.
The constellations trace fragile trails
across her skin, a map of bruises,
a forest path, the fox
sinking its teeth into the swallow.
Wild horses rise in the dust,
rosary beads and stolen conversations
slip like shadows through her fingers.

And at last, a little death:
a tremor, a closing, a quiet fall.
Revision of 7 year piece.
199 · Dec 10
Hole in the Sky
Emma Dec 10
Quiet hands tremble,
The weight of choice in her palm—
Steel whispers her name.

Click, the chamber turns,
A final breath, deep as grief—
The world holds its breath.

She lifts her burden,
Aiming past the stifling clouds—
Hope pierces the void.

Through the sky it screams,
A shattering wound of light—
Freedom in her hands.
Sorry for not posting something more positive this morning but I need it's sweet release.
198 · 5d
Betrayal
Emma 5d
Beneath Judas tree,
the weight of suicide bends,
a sorrowful arch.

From bloodied wounds sprout
black wings of despair's descent,
shadowed by their sin.
196 · Nov 15
Clinically Clean
Emma Nov 15
Stay warm and safe, the frost bites deep,
Clinically clean, your wounds won't weep.
Bare white thoughts, they echo purity,
But you're one of his, dying gently.

Generations bleed for a precious cause,
Love’s a little touch in a world with flaws.
Dreams drift like ash in the breath of life,
I've seen too much, yet remain the child.

Troubled lifetimes, reincarnations twist,
Honest goodbyes slip through the mist.
Chasing the truth with a golden dragon,
Nothing’s impossible—dive in, abandon.

From darkness I scream, reaching for the rock,
He stands firm as my reality shocks.
Unexpected surprise, you bear my pain,
I am nothing without you, insane refrain.

Bulletproof faith, I let it all out,
Dictator bloodline, my grandad's route.
Strong characters play chicken on the road,
Russian roulette, where raw honesty explodes.

Stay warm and safe, for the frost bites deep,
Bare your wounds, but no need to weep.
In chaos, in love, in blood-soaked rhyme,
We rise and fall, defying time.
195 · Dec 8
My Failed Marriage
Emma Dec 8
Bouquet of regret,
Petals wilt with each footstep,
Vows fade in the breeze.
194 · Nov 19
Battle of Paths
Emma Nov 19
Lost in twisted ways,
Map holds secrets, silent taunts—
Man strikes lines with rage.
Paper torn, path now erased—
Victory in empty l(h)ands.
Emma Dec 9
Rushing steps halt cold,
Crimson glare demands patience—
Time drips through still air.
Emma 20h
In the gray it dwells,
shades of sorrow, hues of joy,
eyes paint what they feel.

Between dark and light,
truth bends to our weary hearts,
colors shift with moods.

A storm clouds the mind,
turning clear skies into ash,
world shaped by our fears.

Yet hope’s golden glow,
softens shadows, clears the haze,
brightens all we see.

Feelings weave the veil,
through which life unfolds its face,
mine lies in between.
Sometimes I don't feel or see colour's rather shades of in-between black and white.
191 · Dec 7
Haiku 7/12/24
Emma Dec 7
Life in plastic folds,
Dreams wrapped tight in fleeting hope,
Trash cradles the soul.
Living out of garbage bags episode in life.
184 · Nov 25
The Feast
Emma Nov 25
“It’s all your fault,” her mother spat,
the words curling like smoke
burning holes through the film
as the reel of her life sputtered,
frames melting, memories blistered.

“Are you ashamed?” she asked him once,
but the answer was a rooftop of ravens,
black and fat with fury,
their wings heavy with arguments
that scattered like dandelion seeds
on a storm-bitten wind.

He adored her—or so she thought—
until his chats told otherwise.
Still, he guarded her like stained glass,
jealous of each gaze that lingered,
each stranger who feasted
on her church-window eyes,
shards of color sharp enough to cut.

Her mother’s lies
coiled in her throat,
a banquet of bitterness
she could never swallow.
She needed a scapegoat,
an alibi for the twin
flickering inside her:
one a saint of silken dreams,
the other a sinner
digging graves for every tomorrow.

Why is it never enough?
Not the apology, not the tears,
not the hollow space where love
once curled its soft animal body.

She punches the mirror,
and it blossoms like her pain—
a thousand fractured faces staring back,
none of them hers.
Her reflection weeps
as she stands alone,
the only guest
at a feast of glass.
Emma 6d
fat red berries cling,
snow breathes white upon their glow,
winter's quiet fire.
Emma 5d
dandelion clock,
whispers dreams into the breeze,
wishes take their flight.
166 · Nov 16
Our Lady of Sorrows
Emma Nov 16
No soft lullabies for this rage,
no bedtime tales for the scars.
Her rebellion, a waltz in combat boots,
spiked with grunge, venom, and a scream
that split the dawn like broken glass.
No lowering of voices—
it was them who whispered ******
while she carried the weight of silence,
their pills clutched in cold fists.

Madness was no surrender,
no white flag to psychiatrists
and their bottled truths.
She danced instead,
barefoot with demons that knew her name,
their laughter a dirge,
their touch as real as chains.

Words slithered into mirages—
truth, lies, all indistinct,
a love once pure now shadowed,
a muse now bound by sleepless nights
and post-traumatic hymns.
Our Lady of Sorrows bled for a flock
that prayed in her shadow,
kneeling in borrowed guilt.
But when she bled,
no one looked.

Plans drawn in whispered ink—
a razor’s edge,
a promise of release.
Love, a phantom now,
its face distorted with time,
matured, stretched thin by distance.
The scream of silence grew louder,
and demons conversed until the sun rose,
its light bruising the horizon.

She was no saint.
She forgave no trespasses.
But as the dawn burned anew,
there lingered a pulse,
a faint rhythm of hope—
love not redeemed,
but waiting,
coiled like a spring
for the next dance.
Emma Dec 9
grimy feathers stir,
children's laughter feeds the flock—
crumbs on tiny palms.
Many memories of being in our capital Valletta feeding pigeons as mothers gossiped and read newspapers.
158 · Nov 28
Recovery Days
Emma Nov 28
Pills rattle on cue,
Cats purr in soft solace true.
Sofa hugs my frame,
Netflix whispers, sleep reclaims—
Healing slow, the hours accrue.
Yesterday I stayed home was too sick and in pain to move. Today I'm only going to help my friends, I desperately need to rest.
158 · 1d
Hiding my Truth
Emma 1d
Beneath my ribs, a songbird sleeps,

Whispering truths no one dares to keep.

I thread my wounds through silken lies,

Broken glass beneath soft lullabies.

He moves like shadow, so close, so far,

Reaching for a light that isn’t where we are.

I hush my heart – let it break, let it bleed, unseen.
He's really trying it's heartbreaking, but he doesn't really get it right.
157 · 3d
raindrop
Emma 3d
sky’s tear softly falls,
cradled in the leaf’s embrace—
whispers of the dawn.

breath of quiet earth,
awakes in the morning light,
life stirs, tenderly.
149 · Nov 24
Current Relationship
Emma Nov 24
she
smokes a joint
after *** (the
music fading like
clouds)
he says
he loves her even when
she's wrong
(his voice a
soft thread of
certainty)

he would
defend her
(unlike
those others)
against the fire of
her parents'
words
and with her could
debate
the stars,
the sky,
the silent spin
of worlds
unseen

he keeps her
like a queen (but
only because they
build
their kingdom together,
brick by
brick
in the quiet
hours)

their late-night
conversations
map the
unspoken terrain
of what love means
when the clock
whispers secrets

she waits
(always,
always) for him—
stitching
fragments of his
family into something
whole
like she pieces
herself together,
tender hands
wrapping around
his sharp edges

she speaks
to the wolf in him
that rises
with the lunar pull of
his control,
her words
the tether,
the calm,
the stilling wind.
Emma Dec 3
this morning spilled itself
like a cup of not-enough-coffee—
the sun (crooked in the sky's pocket)
forgot to smile.

& i,
with a mouthful of tomorrow's words,
stepped into the street where
wind whispered secrets i didn't want to hear—
a fist of weather broke my face
(it wasn’t personal, it never is).

the hours marched on with
their boot-polished precision:
giving (taking)
giving (taking)
more of me than I
remembered I had to lose.

sacrifice wore its familiar coat—
buttons missing but
it fit me perfectly,
still.

all i could think of
(when the weight of now
shoved me into myself)
was the quilted quiet
of staying home:
walls tender as eyelids,
ceilings dreaming their own sky.

but this world
asks more than
any single answer—
even the moon is required to rise
when it would rather sleep.

so i go on,
dragging behind me a day
i didn’t want to carry,
wishing it would unfold
like a paper crane
&
fly away.
Wishing the day would end before it even begins.
140 · 1d
You're Broken Too
Emma 1d
I’ve seen the future,

it looks a lot like this.

Your eyes, full of old fights

we never had, but should have.

We carry on, hands full of silence.
Up early again, can't sleep but shattered, now watching a ****** movie to take my mind off the pain and my thoughts.
Not my usual style.
Emma 4d
There’s a thread on her wrist,
red like pomegranate seeds bursting—
three knots tight as a mother’s secret,
three wishes pressed between breaths
when the world looks away.
She whispers into the glitches—
the way the sky skips like a scratched vinyl,
the way the ground hums
just before the fall.

She doesn’t blink anymore.
It’s all there,
in the corner of your mouth,
in the pauses where words drown themselves.
She hears the notes you never played,
sees the shadow in the mirror’s gasp,
speaks to the silence like a sister.

The bracelet taught her the language of sap
and stone and the ocean’s bite.
It sings in loops, an ancient chorus—
not yours, not mine,
but something older than the first mistake.

Three knots, she says,
for the door that never stays shut,
for the stars stitched into her palms,
for the moments where time hiccups and forgets itself.

And when she speaks,
it’s not a voice—it’s a frequency,
a vibration you feel in your ribs
like a forgotten childhood song.
She turns her wrist—
the red thread catches the light—
and the world unravels for her,
one gift, one glitch, one truth at a time.
140 · Dec 8
For my Daughter
Emma Dec 8
I would give the winter's breath,
the shiver of frost on every pane,
to hold the weight of your laughter again,
to braid your name into the soft dusk.

I would give the moon,
its chalky whispers in the dark,
to hear your voice once more—
a ribbon of light cutting through my grief.

Oh, I would give my hands,
these tired, trembling hands,
if they could reach through the thin veil of silence,
if they could cradle your cheek,
brush your hair like I used to,
sing you to sleep again.

I would give the stars,
their distant promises, their cold fire,
just to say what I should have said every day:
I love you.
I miss you.
You were my sun, my endless summer.

But the world takes what it will,
and leaves only echoes.
So I sit here in the ruins of myself,
writing your name on the wind,
letting my love rise like smoke,
like a prayer you might still hear.

What I would give,
my darling,
is everything—
for just one more moment,
one more chance
to tell you
you were always enough.
Unfortunately we are not on talking terms anymore, she turned out to be a narcissist like her father.
140 · Dec 3
(a mAniC whiRL)
Emma Dec 3
oh!   the world
spins faster than my feet can
(touch) it! oh!
laugh—   the absurdity of
smiles (brighter) than the
sun! bursting
out of me   (don’t) STOP!

oh?   but there it is—
a (shadow) tailing light
a hint
of falling/failing/flailing
(down), down,
beneath this
paper-thin joy.

oh!   to be
this alive—
a helium balloon against
a pinprick of the inevitable.
but! (until) I
break,
let me
spin, spin!
the world cannot
catch me.
Today's mood- elation but I know what's coming.
138 · Dec 9
Crayon Monsters
Emma Dec 9
By day, in crayon lines they dwell,
Bright monsters born where wild thoughts swell.
At night they stir, with teeth that gleam,
And claws that rip through fragile dreams.
Their laughter howls; the dark's a curse.
Children's drawings often tell a darker reality and truth.
136 · 4d
unravelling
Emma 4d
she plucks, she plucks at her hair,
strand by strand, a fragile theft-
a slow unraveling,
a soft dismembering of self.
each root sings a dirge,
a tiny funeral for what she cannot keep.

She cuts, she cuts, into her wrist,
a meticulous surgeon of her own undoing.
the blade hums red hymns,
and the skin parts like filling pages,
secrets written in her blood,
whispering scarlet truths no one bothers to read.

her soul, a cathedral gutted by fire,
its hollow ribs aching for hymns,
the sanctuary she never entered.
she craves her momma's love
like a starving fox craves the moon-
sharp-toothed, bitter, unreachable.

she cries, she cries,
a monsoon of broken rivers.
the sobs scissor the air,
chopping breaths into pieces
too small to sew,
too jagged to swallow.
she drowns in her own storm,
pulling at the loose threads
of forgiveness,
at the ghost of closure
that slips from her grasp,
vanishing into the darkness.

chopped breaths,
chopped hope,
chopped forgiveness,
chopped closure.
letting the bad feelings out
132 · 3d
No Longer Yours
Emma 3d
I cannot do this anymore—
this labor of unraveling myself
only to be misnamed, misunderstood.
I was linked to him, yes—
a tether fraying in the dark,
his absence a wound,
his indifference a quiet violence.
What was I, if not the ghost
he left behind to haunt the living?

The side effects are sharp-edged,
a prescription for forgetting
that forgets nothing.
This is not healing.
This is not cure.
Take me back to the before-time,
to when you cared enough
to name my anguish aloud,
to call it what it was.
Now, I am the sum of your silence,
a woman folded into herself,
trapped in the space
between betrayal and breath.

But still, I stand—
because someone must.
I forgive myself
for believing in your promises,
for letting you map my body
as a battlefield,
for holding your hands
even as they burned.

Darling, don’t go—
but don’t stay.
Disappear so completely
that your memory loses its teeth.
Leave me to the emptiness,
to the choices stolen by your indifference.

My guardian angel comes not with wings
but with hands—
earth-stained and firm,
building me back, bone by bone.
They know the language of endurance,
how to feed hope to the starving,
how to offer a second chance
without demand.

Here is the truth:
I am no longer yours to define.
Here is the reckoning:
I reclaim my name,
write it on the earth with every step,
become a body of love
that bends but does not break.
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