I'm on one side of a wall and you're on the other
How do things end up like this
You're disappearing
And I'm taking cover
So much for perfect bliss
We're pushing and pulling
And plaster is falling
Leaving dusty footprints on the scene
But there's nothing but empty space anymore
Maybe I've left or maybe I've gone missing
It's all the same
Because with no one around I'm going insane
I just want things to be like they way they were
Where instead of a wall it was just an unlocked door
And my clothes smelled like you after an hour or so
And no one told us what to do because no one really knows
I've left the walls behind and I'm floating in space
My eyes are going dark and I'm running in place
So I'll write on the walls because it makes me think of you
And it's not like there's anything else I can do.

How would you feel knowing that you were my hero with a loser complex
But now you're nothing but a self gratified loser who ruined all of it
How would you feel knowing that sometimes I regret everything I ever said to you
Because nothing you ever said back to me was even true
If you can just move on without looking back
Then what what we had was nothing but nothing will compare to what we had
So get used to sleepless nights and poison lips
With petty lies and hands on hips
If you can't even repair things with your "best friend"
Then everything else is destine to end

you know i simply don't understand
all the hype about the clock and it's hands
that change from 11:59 to 12 o'clock
but not as much changes as i thought
i still want to lay in bed
and escape the monsters in my head
nothing really changes overnight
so it really isn't worth the hype

I think I've fallen in love with the feeling
Of smiling into a pillow and heavy breathing
And for just a second I think I can feel happiness again
But have to shove it down until then
But I think I'll cherish it while I can
Now how did that conversation start again?

We all have those dreams where someone walks up to you to ask
Where is your dinosaur or why you aren't wearing shoes
And I'd be okay with that if that person wasn't you

I think that as poets we see the world differently than everyone else
We see broken concrete and wonder what secrets it can tell
And every tick of the clock tells a story if you care enough to listen
And nights spent asleep are because inspiration is missing
Old paper makes you wonder if you could have loved a person who held it before
And broken hearts make you write with the ink being tears on the floor
The sky is a masterpiece and we must all be stars
Because nothing else could even come close to what poets are
So when the stars explode and hearts begin to break
It's a beautiful thing and will be written about for days

I look up at a star shooting across the sky and wonder
What would it be like if the entire world lined up tonight
Where we all got our kisses under mistletoe
And in our own little worlds, everything would be right
I wish that the stars would align and I could sleep
I wish that I knew if anyone stayed up at night thinking about me
I wish that the snow would come and that Christmas feeling would return
Because right now I just want everything to burn
So I think all I want for Christmas is that
Everything went right for once, and that it was a proven fact
Not just for me but for everyone else
So spill your secret wishes on stars everyone, they won't tell

I'm waiting for the day that you ask
Why I text you so much even when you can't text back
Just so I can tell you that it's because you never text me
Not a hello, not anything
But I haven't seen you in forever, I mean,
I think the last time we actually spent time together was in October:Halloween
And honey your birthday is my password for my iPod (shh don't tell)
And when it's past midnight I don't want to talk to anyone else
I just want to talk or to see you or for God's sake, anything
Because I think I miss you more than I want to admit while breathing
You're busy I get that I know
But come on are you really too busy for me or is it all a show?

Shrouded by a jacket (it was blue and plaid)
I tripped over myself and glanced around but nothing was said
I remember it clearly: a flash of lime green and brown hair
I spun around in shock-wondering if he was still there
I stood there for a minute and watched him walk away
I wanted to run after him that day
But I just kept walking and look where we are now
Still getting lost among the crowds
But when I picked up my phone he replied
That wouldn't happen this time

I walked inside the gym and scanned the crowds on the floor
Not that I knew what I was looking for
I texted for him to stand up and he said no
So I was searching for an imaginary friend on my own
I walked up awkwardly and he smiled and played with his hands
I didn't know what that meant back then
So I sat down and started to talk and I guess you could say we got along well
But I was turned around watching for someone else

My eyes flitted around in the dark
I bit my lip as the years started
The choice was out in the open:
You or him
But I was young and stupid (still am)
And I walked away with blood on my hands
Leaving song lyrics hanging in the silence
And the stifled sound of my crying
And I listened to "Stay" over and over again
You said please understand
But I didn't
And you still left

I remember my shaking hands as I walked up his drive way
But when he opened the door with a smile everything melted away
And he said I looked nice but I didn't know what to say
So I croaked out something like "you do too"
Good God, his eyes were so blue
And I remember dancing and laughing about a girl we both knew
And there were the lights
They seemed to be so bright
And in that moment everything was right
The next morning I buried it away in a box
It's still there-wouldn't want it to get lost
Detox just to retox

"Two" you said when they asked how many
I want to say it was a Wednesday
And I was wearing paint splattered pants
And you were wearing a Fall Out Boy shirt that I want
Along with plaid that totally didn't match
He was SUCH a good catch
When we sat down I scanned the menu like a cheap date
And spilled water all over myself and hoped he didn't see my face
(I don't think he did)
It was just a little awkward at first
But I suppose it could've been worse
It's not like it was a date, after all
So I held my head high and stood tall
And ordered the exact same thing he did

It was Halloween the last time I saw you
And I was wearing your shirt
And it smelled like you and musty basement
We had just gotten home when you walked in
And the whole night kind of seemed wasted
We played a game, I think
But it's not like it mattered who won
We were kind of in our own little world
And I was hoping you wouldn't go home
We all piled on each other to watch a movie
And I told you not to sing
All we did was talk the whole time
Not that it meant anything
I was a little to comfortable in your arms
And wanted you to hold me tighter
When the lights flickered down
I thought I might fall asleep and that would've been alright
We talked until about 2 am that night
Not that I minded at all
I think I missed you a little too much
And I tripped and started to fall

In case anyone was wondering
It's almost impossible to encourage something
You never want to happen in the first place
So lets put on a happy face
And block out the image of her lips on his
Even if she won't admit it

love is watching glass shatter before you can pick it up
love is slicing open your heart to let someone in and then dripping blood
love is holding something so close even though it hurts
love is trying even though it won't work
but love is also the stitches that pull your heart back together
and the words written on your hands that say "it gets better"
love is the butterflies in your stomach and in your head
love is the smile they can't see when it's late and you're in bed
love is talking to someone until you drift off to sleep
and knowing in the end, they were worth the fighting and the weeping
some say love is blind but that's objective
someone once told me it's simply a change in perspective
as beautiful and painful and difficult as love is
it is almost always worth every minute

One more drink down and you're good to go
Hit the lights, baby, and you'll steal the show
With a pretty ******* one arm and a number on the other
Dancing to the beat because there's nothing better
For you to do than waste the memories away until you forget being you
But they don't see your bloodshot eyes or your terrors at night
Hitting the walls until your soul feels right
Simply because living isn't worth the fight
You say you're fine but they don't know better
And no one is here for you this time
You're coping with shots and drunken nights
Waking up to the pounding of your head when nothing seems right
So you glance in the mirror and you hate what you see
Because they don't know you're nothing without me
And when you finally get back to sleep
You dream of pink chiffon and messy sheets
And nothing has changed since the first day I left
Except for the piles of pictures I never kept
So when I think of you this is what I see
Maybe because I know you too well or maybe because you don't know me
I know how you cope and I know how you cry
So when they can see you fall apart so can I
But I'll just laugh at your misery
Because you never cared when I cried at night
So really babe why should I?

right now all i want
is to curl up under the covers
with someone who is taller than i am
and smells like cologne
just so i don't feel so painfully alone
and then i will be able to drift off to a sweeter sleep
than i have had in too many weeks
with candied dreams and waking up in warm arms
that's all i really want
now is that so hard?

Red hair falling over shoulders and short pretty curls
All of her weaknesses are everything you ever were
Thunder and lightning might just deserve each other
Because when the storm comes everyone wonders
And everyone watches
And you both like that

With her fake smiles and your attention deficit
Not even perfection deserves imperfect
Now she thinks she's perfect and I hate to be the one to break the news
But the only one that's closer to imperfect is you
Get out while you can neither of you can put glass back together
Because once it's shattered it's gone baby and it won't ever come back
You can try to glue until all of your fingers bleed
But either way it will cut you open when you try to sleep
I shouldn't kick a dog when it's down
But hell you can lie in the mess you made
Until every piece of yourself is ripped away

Maybe you two are just a perfect match
With her bruised knees and your spineless back
Go find each other and go run away
I'm so done caring and I'm so done with the hate
Times up. Game over. She won.
But when everything falls apart don't come crying to me
Sobbing out that she was your first one
Because you like the attention
And you like the lies
And everyone is watching
You like them staring as you walk by

So I'll watch from the side as it all goes up in flames
Because in the end you won't even be able to say her name
And what am I going to do about it?
Nothing because I don't care about you or your attention deficit
You can move on and I'm over it.

Everything is different and everything has changed
But I guess I'm the only one to blame
Because now words that used to exist are erased
And pictures that were once there are missed
I can still feel you in my words
Go away-you don't need to be heard
I don't need to hear you in every melody
Because why do I need to suffer more
Something has to make memories disappear so I can forget
But I just can't seem to figure out what that is

"Hold me close and let me breathe from your lungs
Because we're every song that has yet to be sung
Hold me close and let me see through your eyes
Because I become yours at every stroke of midnight
Hold me close and let me love with your heart
Because every heartbeat away from you tears me apart
Hold me close and let me touch your soul
Because you're everything I'll ever need to know
Let me hold you close and tangle my hands in your hair
Because from where we are I don't see why we need to be anywhere
Let me show you the world in all of its glory
Because nothing is better than a good bedtime story
Let me be your warmth when you're cold"
*and I never thought those feelings would get old

I gave my heart to you and ever since
It's been a caution-taped, mangled mess
I trust when I shouldn't and don't love when I should
Your name carved on my heart as if carved into wood
Because it will never go away no matter what I do
When you loved someone you'll always carry a piece of them with you
So when the tree falls and is burned away
Nothing changes and we're begging each other to stay
A new tree grows from the ashes like a Phoenix
But even I know what will happen next
Just when it starts to finally take root
It falls away, just like you
So we're grasping at straws as we fall to the ground
When a tree falls, does it make a sound?

you can't change your words once they've been sung
like you can't ***** out the stars or bury the sun
what you said you can never take back
and when you said 'go away' i was almost okay with that
because the sky's not red; it's still blue
and no twisted words are better than the truth
the grass is still green and the sun still shines
i'm still broken and there's still sorrow in your eyes
nothing has changed and i don't think i mind
reality is a comforting blanket in the middle of the night
i still eat leftovers for breakfast and ride the bus to school
the only difference is now i don't need you

The light in her soul and the sparks in his eyes
Like the stars and the moon that come out at night
The sky in its never ending glory tries to keep them apart
But there's so many places to hide in the dark

The constellations carry their whispers across the skies
And the clouds report back to their master but all they tell are lies
Because one could never see a more perfect heart
Than that of the moon and its stars

Every once and a while the moon has to come out during the day
And the stars have to explode because a sacrifice needs to be made
They can't escape the sky but they can keep their space
And nothing can be heard if there's nothing to say

In so sick of feeling so broken
And I'm straining to stand on my own
But everytime I'm about to break down
I'm foolish and pick up the **** phone
And I know you'll just yell at me
For all the things I did wrong
Because I lied, lead you on, and broke everything we had
And I'll pretend you're right and play along
I don't need you as a support beam
I don't need you to put me back in line
And most of all I don't need your attention
It'll come true if I say it enough times
Maybe I'm just lonely
And everyone else is busy
It's not like I have feelings for you
But I just miss your company
I'm tired of pretending everything's okay
I know the answers to this test
Everyone listens to me at home
And of course I'm getting enough rest
Fake it until you make it
I suppose we're all just faking our way through
Hoping that everything we pretend to feel or not feel
Will eventually come true

I'm going insane and I don't know where to go or who to be
I know I want what I want but I can't dissect your freaken poetry
So I stare at it for hours and try to find meaning between the rhyming words
But I'm left wondering if anything means nothing at all

You slipped a rose into my chest
But love like that I can't just forget
Even roses have thorns that tear everything apart
The petals dripped red from the bleeding of my heart
I never thought anything could be killed with love
And now nothing can be as it was
So I'll pluck the floral arrow just to bleed even more
But I don't regret anything I said or did before
With every memory of your warm arms or your voice
A rotting petal falls to the ground like morbid confetti in a sickly rejoice
And now whenever I see your face in reality or in my minds eye
The scar starts to burn and I turn out the lights
I guess that's what I get for welcoming you and your roses
So now I'll take my shots of love in smaller doses
Because thorns don't outweigh bitter words and fleeting love
When everything seemed like more than it truly was

Maybe she needs to stop dreaming about what could happen
Because-really-what good did that do before
Late night ponderings of a different love
Leave her crying on the bathroom floor
Maybe she should stop trying to be heard
Because no one really listens
When they do they punish the wrongs
And all her freedom goes missing
Maybe she needs to stop being responsible
Because everyone treats her like she's insane
She might as well be failing school
And sneaking out because it's all the same
I'm so sick of trying to be perfect
And never getting a glance
Maybe I should stop vying for attention
And just fade into the background.

Late night questions that make us both feel and paper airplanes dance to the rhythm of a Taylor Swift song
The fridge is open and it's dark outside
But the only light we need is from each others eyes
Because not even the stars believe what they're seeing
On late night walks the snow dusts our hair like confetti
And the sky smiles down on us and wonders why we didn't think of it sooner
Our shared hot chocolate has red lipstick on the rim
And I still can't believe that I'm looking at him
With linked hands we cuddle on the couch with a movie we intended to see
But just end up talking through the entire thing
But one can't forget about the screaming and fights where you won't feel enough
And I'll feel a little too much
Your eyes are a rainstorm and I am the sea
Both fighting to win and fighting to release
I swear we'll be a hopeless mess in every way
But I think I wouldn't want it any other way

i tore your picture into shreds and on the back i wrote
that i wish you were dead
because you took it farther than it needed to be
when you realize no one likes you don't come running back to me
maybe you got what you deserved
because no broken heart should force those words to be heard
your tears fill a river and i'm nowhere to be found
so if you ever speak to me again
keep in mind who said i'll never been your friend
i'd call you a *******
but i like your mom more than you so i'll refrain from it

Cloudy skies and murky air
Stirring anger and breaking fair
Falling leaves and screaming loud
Wind whipping away all our shouts
Our hearts fall with the leaves
When autumn peeks it's face on trees
Rain falls and then it stops
And we all wonder if it will be a little or a lot
As the leaves lose color we lose faith
Knowing that cold is coming to freeze over the mess we made
Lights go quick and dark lasts longer
Summer romances fade away and give us time to ponder
Do we start something new
Or let everything old be done and through
We trample leaves and trample stars
Breaking piles and breaking hearts.

Sunny days and warm nights
Pretty stars and dark brown eyes
With chlorine hair and water glistening
I'm in too deep to realize I'm drowning
Pretty flowers everywhere
Lining forests and brown hair
The sun beats down on a sapphire  sky
Summer's no time for goodbyes
Sand beneath toes makes everything better
And nothing ever seems to matter
Just me and you
And clear waters fade to blue
Fluffy cloud like promises
Hiding all our anger and our wrongs
But when leaves fall from trees like ghosts
Here comes death and here comes snow.

Snow falls quickly and piles up
Nothing registers until there's too much
Little footprints that I'm following in the snow
Suddenly stop and I don't know where to go
The sky's a storm and the world's a mess
We all need some light to put this to rest
Rain falls down to melt it away
Drowning but breathing all the same
Washing away all thoughts of snow
Giving spring room to bloom and grow
When a bleeding heart peeks it's head
It sees the world all grey and dead
With more rain came snow and sleet
I can't see footprints- let alone my feet!
Maybe I need a shovel or a coat
But which one, I'll never know
Because it rains one day and snows the next
Then together they smother what was best
So what to do or where to go?
Maybe somewhere too warm for them both.

Puddles pooling on the ground
Rain falling like teardrops without a sound
It's warm one day then cold the next
I'm so sick of trying for the best
The sky is blue, then it's grey
Springtime comes then wastes away
We all want summer but I love spring
Never knowing what the next day will bring
Maybe love or maybe tears
Maybe digging up our deepest fears
Wind howling like angry shouts
Thunder clapping nice and loud
Nothing's easy but that's okay
I think it's supposed to be that way
But spring leaves like everything else
Just returning later to bring more hell
Flowers bloom beneath our feet
Drowning in the best and worst spring we've ever seen.

You're totally right
And I think the fact that you know that means we've gone around too many times
While its true
We don't know where we'll be in a year or two
And if there will be rain or if there will be snow
Random fact: I'm bad at letting go
And apparently you are too
And I don't know how this will go of we don't see this through
So I guess I'm more afraid of missing out than getting hurt
I mean we've dealt with a lot, could it even get worse?
It's kind of been a mess since November 19th two years ago
Random fact: even then I couldn't let you go.

I'm hot
And then I'm cold
And sick to my stomach
And this is getting old
I'm sick of feeling lonely
But I want to be left alone
And that makes perfect sense
Because every article of clothing I possess is my own
And I want to know there's someone if I need them
Because everyone says they'll be there
And then you're looking around like a deer in the headlights
And realize that so few really care
But I guess I'll just lay in bed
And stare at the ceiling I wish I could write on
Listening to music that drowns out my feelings
Waiting for this aching to be gone
There's times I'll feel giddy
And then I'll be down
Knowing that I always give up everything
That keeps my feet on the ground
I'm floating away
On my own words with imaginary friends
Talking to myself
And barely making amends

I think I just realized the every feeling I've ever had for you,
Good or bad,
Is documented somewhere in a notebook or in my head
And again I'm not sure if that's good or bad
Because it either makes me happy, embarrassed, or sad
I think it's time to close that book
I think I've run out of ripped pages to mend
And that's okay
Because every love story needs an end