I watched some old videos and went through all our pictures
You were bright and happy and kissed me a lot
You had hope and you danced with me too
I forgot how much fun we used to have
And the kind of people we used to be
I don't regret a single thing except what happened
To you and me

How can I be so evil to the one I used to breathe for?
I am hurt and so spiteful
I am mad and ill met
I am sorry

I hurt myself for loving you
There's a monster inside me I don't know what she'll do
Words are weapons for the weak
Without you I barely sleep
I broke my own heart in trying to mend yours
Every day I am alive is an endless chore
You hate me get in line
I'll never forgive myself until the end of time

I watch the ceiling change from black to grey to a pale yellow as the morning comes
I've barely slept I can't close my eyes
She sleeps soundly to my left
My baby dozing on my right
Her boyfriend is as restless as I
Awake
He ***** me with his eyes
She stirs, he says "I love you" but is staring at me
She drowsely kisses his cheek, he bites my wrist
Thud thud thud in my veins
The pulsing in his lust
I can only close my eyes and pray the beast finds rest soon
They are always hungry those sleeping beasts

I'm cold
But I still care
I'm distant
But I wish you were here
My head and my heart don't go hand in hand
Unless that hand is strangling the other in demand
I'm hurting too but don't pity me
I need this, I know it, you know it, someday we'll see
If I get better and you do too
Maybe there's peace in this life again for me and you