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Andrew Apr 2020
In a rare moon
I dream of you
To hold you
feel you
to lay next to you
When I awake, my cheeks are numb
maybe.. this could be, the last time..I see you
Oh, how I do miss you
Andrew Dec 2021
Im a little low
Im feeling  blue
Im lost for words
When I think of you

Through the forest
And over the hills
When I think of you
It give me chills

I’d move a mountain
I’d run a mile
When I think of you
I remember that smile

When I think of you
I lay in bed
I can not sleep
After what you said
Andrew Nov 2021
Wherever I go
You follow

Im an autumn leaf
Flying in the wind

A beaten pebble
Washed up against the shore

If my words
Could really paint

Your portrait
Would say it all

A worn out memory

Which simply

Will not fade
Andrew Nov 2021
Someone once said,
                                
                             “If you are true friends
                         no matter whatever happens
                          you will always meet again”
Andrew Dec 2021
I’ll be at home
Waiting
By the phone
Wandering
If you’re out there on your own
Watching you,
Drifting off to sleep
Knowing full well
You’re the one to keep

I’ll be missing
Your loving soul
Thinking about
Your tender
Caring role
If there’s anything
I could do
To put things right
between me and you
I’d turn the other cheek
Wash all the bad memories
Down the creek

I’m hoping
When you wake
A fight doesn’t want to take
You thought you’d choose
A better bloke
Over time
Your love for me
Sadly broke
Today
That’s all I got to say
I kneel down
And I start to pray
Andrew Nov 2021
If I could paint
with my words
Your portrait
would be epic
Andrew Oct 2021
If only you knew
how sorry
I really am,
for that day
by the lake
all I remember
was seeing you
kneeling down
screaming
with the soil
so embedded
behind each torn nail
watching your make-up run
Andrew May 2020
Medication time!!
Someone hollers
While we queue
A lifeless fragile line...
God only knows
If these drugs
Actually work,
Make one feel fine
Or help go berserk
My counsellor once said
Stop listening to your head
Instead be more creative
It’s now time to unwind
Let’s shut up shop
And slow down this crazy mind
Andrew Feb 2021
This world isn’t big enough
for hearts like ours
Andrew Dec 2020
All on my own
Sipping on fine warm wine
Sitting, thinking
I’m all written out
The world is all mine
Staring at my last tiny line
Dad
Andrew Apr 2020
Dad
I never had a dad
But I had a man
who often said
“well done lad!”,
Who only came home
At weekends
To sleep in
A different bed.
My mum who in turn
Got close to her mother
After my father
got up and fled.
I mutter these words
like I still suffer
Oh, how I looked up to him
The big man
The big don
The preacher who tried
But just was a big con
He had a special way
With his uncontrollable eye
For every type of Barbie
To an average looking Cindy.
Yes he is my father
But not my very own dad.
Andrew Dec 2021
Every night  
before I sleep
I close my eyes
and begin to weep

I lay there watching
the curtains sway
In a room
I painted black and grey

Will the morning
ever come
why do I hope
to see the sun
when tomorrow
I’ll be mad
hopelessly
feeling numb
Andrew Jan 24
It’s ok to smile
even though
It’s been a while

This lonely old life
no man or woman  
no husband or wife

We live alone
when the children
leave home
our pets
become babies
as we sit
on our own

At night I reminisce
of loved ones
that I miss
those who aren’t here
are the ones
I hold dear

My hand feels
empty
my heart gives
plenty
while my soul
cries
gently
Andrew Jul 2021
Every time I close my eyes
All I see is you
Andrew Apr 2020
Why did that last look
outweigh all the memories.
Andrew Apr 2020
Whenever I write
You’re never too far in sight
Such an innocent girl
Always being noticeably polite
I made a promise to your mum
On that very first night
On the phone telling your brother
She was ok, she won’t be back late
That I’ll be bringing her home
You will be doing alright
Many months later
We were to be
Buzzing like a fly
flying around like a bee
Spending hours on end
Underneath the great church tree
Playing our game
Without any shame
Saying my name
Getting lost in the sky
Being more lost
Within each others eyes
How you would look at me
This is how It shall always be.
Andrew Apr 2020
Please... forgive me
Like i forgave you,
I’m sorry for all I’ve said and done
How I told you, you looked better
when you were young, and how your perfume smelt nicer on your mum.
Please...  forgive me
I’m sorry for being gifted, In finding flaws and all your faults
Please... above all... before it’s too late forgive me...for not noticing your make up again, running down your cheek.
So please...if you can forgive me -
I have become a changed man.
Andrew Nov 2021
If I was to write
A verse or two
Just for you
It would have to start

Your heart is
As pure
As the Mountain Dew
Filled with so much joy
Devotion would be
the best word served
For our home and family
And of course
our little boy

With everything
We have been through
Pink and blue
You’ve always stayed
Strong and true

If I was to give to you
What you have given us
It would be a lifetime’s worth
Of angels dust
My Xmas present for my partner
Andrew Apr 2020
I still hold on despite the hurt
scared that one day I might forget
Andrew May 2020
Every time I shut my eyes
I see you
Right there
In front of me
Where you shouldn’t be
Andrew Dec 2021
Before I die
I wanna try
Just one day
Without a lie
To feel free
In every way
Help me be
Run a mile
Go and play
With a smile
Make me cry
For a while
Not get high
Andrew Apr 2020
Diagnosis- Perfectionist
I wish I was a perfectionist
Oh really?!
Do you know-
I tell them today-
Google it!
Is it good to be a perfectionist?
Living in fear of failure permanently,
Depression,
Severe!
Google also -
Claim shorter lifespan-
I only hope and pray to God
Who ever wrote it
They are a true perfectionist
Andrew Nov 2020
Give me a moment
Please.. just one moment
A single moment
To show me your acknowledgement
Of my existence
To tell you how truly sorry
I have become......
Andrew Dec 2020
Self isolation
No time for a curfew
My Sitting room hell
My street window view
Andrew Dec 2020
It’s been so long
since we last spoke
but today,
your still there
inside my head
like you never left
Andrew May 2020
Every time I shut my eyes
I start to see
The real me
The one who God
Intended me to be
Be, just be
Don’t be me
Or he or she
A fake or a phoney
Take for example...The!
The ripest apple off the tree
Whoever you see-
It’s not just for you
But also for me,
Be the one who
You have been
Put here to be
Forever,
Internally
Finally
Time to live free
That is the key
Andrew Dec 2020
Just for a second!!
I thought you were gone,
Only to appear again
As I look down
Into an empty glass
Truly not knowing
That was to be my last
Andrew Apr 2020
Last ever words were
                  “Whatever happens
                    Please don’t go off
                 with any of my friends”
Andrew Feb 2021
I remember
my mother telling me.
“When a relationship ends,
one always
gets left behind”
Andrew Apr 2020
There’s always one
Who gets left behind
It may be,
You, me,
Her or him
As most are -
An empty shell,
A ghost,
An envelope
Lost in the post.
Andrew Jun 6
If I could dream
Any dream
There’s only one dream
That I would dream
It would be you
Still loving me
Andrew Nov 2021
This tiny
World I own
I tread this
Lonely stone

The moment you left
The room turned blue
My mask came off
Your words spoke true

If we didn’t
Meet that day
There wouldn’t be
Much to say

For every hour
I spent longing
Your face
Is slowly going

Why am I here
While you’re
Way over there

I hope you feel
Like how I feel
My heart is broken
Nothing is real
Andrew Jan 27
I’m so scared
if we to meet
I’d loose my nerves
from under my feet

I arrive
all beat-up
while you waltz in
all dressed-up

I’m not here
to pose or impress
nor to stare
at your beautiful dress

please let this
go to plan
so I can
walk out
still being a man
Andrew Apr 2020
They hear the laugh
They see the smile
Meanwhile sadly
Reality is torn in half
This old ship is sinking fast
Struggling to gain composure
I got to hang on to this mask
Andrew Apr 2020
There are no words or verse
I could choose or use
To show I know
That you are the one
Who should always come first
If only I could live up to this
And not have days
Where I think of myself
Oh my dearest love
If I could only change the above
To write about the birds and the bees
Butterflies and trees.
I never imagined,
To have a woman who’s a legend.
You are my hero a girl in a million
I am the man sometimes the villain.
Andrew 19h
You are the girl
That I once knew
Who stole my heart
Just to tear it in two

From the downward path
We both once took
Stood my darkest hour
That unforgettable look

You are the one
Who won’t be forgotten
The young slender woman
That helped me touch
The tips of heaven

I miss your love
Your loving kiss
But I won’t forget
That awful day
When you simply,
Walked away
Andrew Oct 2021
One day
we might
meet again,
you may
not remember me
but I’ll never
forget you.
Until then
when I
need you
I’ll keep you
hidden away
so no one
can touch you
In the back
of my mind
somewhere
where I know
you’ll be
safe and sound
Andrew Jan 15
Mum,
you have been there
literally -
from day one
still handing out love
from all I have done

A mum
who is my mother
my protector
my carer
a strong shoulder
that never grew colder

Yes,
It may be once or twice
I set the pace,
like wild mice
In a race,
yet somehow
you always managed
to keep our home
nice and safe

Now,
I have a family,
a place of my own
and if I can be
half the parent,
you were to me
than my boy will grow
to be quite a man-
won’t you agree?
For my mum
Andrew Dec 2021
My poetry
flows a certain way

I sculpture words
from the finest clay

The verses you hear
are thoughts we play

These lines I write
leads my pen astray

The tone I use
shows the darkest day

Behind each meaning
gives beauty they say
Andrew Apr 2020
Fast asleep, cosy as can be,
Halfway through the silent night,
A scream flies out with all his might
Mummy, Daddy there’s monster in here!
We rush to see his look of fear
Where son? Show me! With all the love and care
He’s behind you! The monster is right there!
Loosing daddy bravery rather quickly
I try my best not to swear
Feel all my hair stand on end
I’m Growing small
But whatever happens
I can’t show this to my little friend
Andrew Aug 2021
Back then
I never realised
How young I really was
And today,
I still don’t
Andrew Apr 2020
Pour another glass
Another whiskey chaser
For the drinker
Mr bartender
On this late week day afternoon
One more no more
He shouts!
Banging his head against the bar
In a dying thirsty rage
Can somebody
Anybody
Phone his poor wife
Just to hear her breakdown again
Andrew May 2020
Fight or flight-
That’s what they say, right?
Say what you like
While the skin is pale
Throughout the day and night
Like a fresh clean sheet -
Crispy and white
Yes, you have guessed-
Anxiety and stress,
Adhd and my Aspergers
Smothers me tightly
Never gently or lightly
I hear the wind
In the leaves
As darkness
Covers my eyes
The most caressing breeze
Takes me down to the floor
Straight to my knees
Andrew Nov 2020
Parents are the most peculiar things,
You think you’re really close
Yet really you are so far apart
Andrew May 2020
She loves me
she loves me not,
She breaks my heart
she knows the spot
Andrew Jan 24
All the mistakes
I’ve made
I preformed
perfectly
Andrew Jan 28
To stop it all
from happening,
just
stop
thinking!
Andrew May 2020
Why do I feel a failure
When I prefer to be a sailor,
A loner, a lost ghost,
A captain of a ship
I pray I live in hope
My last words won’t ever slip
I dream yet still learn
Your tender touch I mustn’t yearn
I laugh outside,
But cry hard inside
Like a loud ringing bell
You will never know I live in hell
Every tear drop I weep
I’m able to wash down
Every sidewalk, alley,
Even the dingiest street
Now, I mustn’t go astray
If I was to say
I saw my mum asleep
Also thought it would be
The last time we’d ever meet
Andrew Apr 2020
I can do sarcasm
I just can’t deal with it.
Andrew Jan 20
In the end
your
words
didn’t matter
however
your last look
hurt
the most
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