In a rare moon
I dream of you
To hold you
feel you
to lay next to you
When I awake, my cheeks are numb
maybe.. this could be, the last time..I see you
Oh, how I do miss you

Im a little low
Im feeling  blue
Im lost for words
When I think of you

Through the forest
And over the hills
When I think of you
It give me chills

I’d move a mountain
I’d run a mile
When I think of you
I remember that smile

When I think of you
I lay in bed
I can not sleep
After what you said

Wherever I go
You follow

Im an autumn leaf
Flying in the wind

A beaten pebble
Washed up against the shore

If my words
Could really paint

Your portrait
Would say it all

A worn out memory

Which simply

Will not fade

you are a star
that’s about to die out,
a flame
which has lost its heat,
my child’s toy
that can’t be found;
yes,
you are all of these
but please,
let me sleep
so I can see you
still wondering
deep in my dreams

Someone once said,
                                
                             “If you are true friends
                         no matter whatever happens
                          you will always meet again”

I’ll be at home
Waiting
By the phone
Wandering
If you’re out there on your own
Watching you,
Drifting off to sleep
Knowing full well
You’re the one to keep

I’ll be missing
Your loving soul
Thinking about
Your tender
Caring role
If there’s anything
I could do
To put things right
between me and you
I’d turn the other cheek
Wash all the bad memories
Down the creek

I’m hoping
When you wake
A fight doesn’t want to take
You thought you’d choose
A better bloke
Over time
Your love for me
Sadly broke
Today
That’s all I got to say
I kneel down
And I start to pray

I tried and I cried
same time every night

I used everything
to numb my head

from the smoke
to the drink
I closed my eyes
to help me think

you were here
but you left me

so who is this
who’s laying
in our bed

I never had a dad
But I had a man
who often said
“well done lad!”,
Who only came home
At weekends
To sleep in
A different bed.
My mum who in turn
Got close to her mother
After my father
got up and fled.
I mutter these words
like I still suffer
Oh, how I looked up to him
The big man
The big don
The preacher who tried
But just was a big con
He had a special way
With his uncontrollable eye
For every type of Barbie
To an average looking Cindy.
Yes he is my father
But not my very own dad.

Every night  
before I sleep
I close my eyes
and begin to weep

I lay there watching
the curtains sway
In a room
I painted black and grey

Will the morning
ever come
why do I hope
to see the sun
when tomorrow
I’ll be going mad
hopelessly
feeling numb

It’s been a while
since we’ve seen
her smile

In the skin
she is wrapped in
her happiness
lays thin

with a man
or on her own
she stands there
all alone

It’s ok to smile
even though
It’s been a while

This lonely old life
no man or woman  
no husband or wife

We live alone
when the children
leave home
our pets
become babies
as we sit
on our own

At night I reminisce
of loved ones
that I miss
those who aren’t here
are the ones
I hold dear

My hand feels
empty
my heart gives
plenty
while my soul
cries
gently

I’m a chemical
substance
that’s been put
together
by a downward
spiral
of poor
genetics

From the first breath
I ever took

I watched my mother
give the
saddest look

It was that day
I found my fear
It went
through me
with every tear

As I grew
I came
to learn
I saw this world
for its wicked turn

Amongst a crowd
I tried to fit in
behaving shy
they screamed
and shout

Preferred the dark
hidden from light
I got taught
to live in doubt

From every hour
I had to fight
there was a heart
I held so dearly tight

Why did that last look
outweigh all the memories.

Whenever I write
You’re never too far in sight
Such an innocent girl
Always being noticeably polite
I made a promise to your mum
On that very first night
On the phone telling your brother
She was ok, she won’t be back late
That I’ll be bringing her home
You will be doing alright
Many months later
We were to be
Buzzing like a fly
flying around like a bee
Spending hours on end
Underneath the great church tree
Playing our game
Without any shame
Saying my name
Getting lost in the sky
Being more lost
Within each others eyes
How you would look at me
This is how It shall always be.

If I was to write
A verse or two
Just for you
It would have to start

Your heart is
As pure
As the Mountain Dew
Filled with so much joy
Devotion would be
the best word served
For our home and family
And of course
our little boy

With everything
We have been through
Pink and blue
You’ve always stayed
Strong and true

If I was to give to you
What you have given us
It would be a lifetime’s worth
Of angels dust

How many words
and verses
can someone use,
about the one
they thought
they would never lose

If they only knew
how much I’ve written,
would it change
the way they would listen

I write
from my heart,
from the angel
who touched us
to the devil
who tore us apart

We shared the innocence
that you once had,
for me to come along
to scoop it all up
and make it so bad

If not today
then one day
I’ll make the amends,
so hopefully after that
we can become good friends

I found you
As a friend
Took you
By the hand
We both
Got ******
Lost you
In the wind
Because
My poor
little head
Went round
The ******* bend

Before I die
I wanna try
Just one day
Without a lie
To feel free
In every way
Help me be
Run a mile
Go and play
With a smile
Make me cry
For a while
Not get high

Diagnosis- Perfectionist
I wish I was a perfectionist
Oh really?!
Do you know-
I tell them today-
Google it!
Is it good to be a perfectionist?
Living in fear of failure permanently,
Depression,
Severe!
Google also -
Claim shorter lifespan-
I only hope and pray to God
Who ever wrote it
They are a true perfectionist

I scrape my feet
along this broken road
dumping old memories
to lighten the load

I trip and stumble
between each crack
staying awake
so I don’t turn back

into the sunset
I must carry on
where she’ll be waiting
but I’ll be gone

I lay in bed
Staring at the ceiling
Watching the shadows
Appear from my head

You are the scar
That doesn’t quite heal
Like an open wound
Which I can still feel

Where are you now
Out there on your own
In another world
Where you can’t be found

Every time I shut my eyes
I start to see
The real me
The one who God
Intended me to be
Be, just be
Don’t be me
Or he or she
A fake or a phoney
Take for example...The!
The ripest apple off the tree
Whoever you see-
It’s not just for you
But also for me,
Be the one who
You have been
Put here to be
Forever,
Internally
Finally
Time to live free
That is the key

Last ever words were
                  “Whatever happens
                    Please don’t go off
                 with any of my friends”

There’s always one
Who gets left behind
It may be,
You, me,
Her or him
As most are -
An empty shell,
A ghost,
An envelope
Lost in the post.

If I could dream
Any dream
There’s only one dream
That I would dream
It would be you
Still loving me

This tiny world
I own
I tread this
Lonely stone

The moment you left
The room turned blue
My mask came off
Your words spoke true

If we didn’t
Meet that day
There wouldn’t be
Much more to say

For every hour
I spent longing
Your face
Is slowly going

Why am I here
While you’re
Way over there

I hope you feel
Like how I feel
My heart is broken
Nothing is real

They hear the laugh
They see the smile
Meanwhile sadly
Reality is torn in half
This old ship is sinking fast
Struggling to gain composure
I got to hang on to this mask

There are no words or verse
I could choose or use
To show I know
That you are the one
Who should always come first
If only I could live up to this
And not have days
Where I think of myself
Oh my dearest love
If I could only change the above
To write about the birds and the bees
Butterflies and trees.
I never imagined,
To have a woman who’s a legend.
You are my hero a girl in a million
I am the man sometimes the villain.