The wonders of Springtime
Whisk me away.
The glisten of raindrops
So freshly they lay.
The chirping of birds,
Sweet songs do they sing.
With echoes of laughter
They joyfully ring.
A newness of life
As sprouts start to bloom.
A colorful sight!
Ridding Winter's dark gloom.
The magic of flowers
Stretching up toward the sky.
Green grass all around them,
The aromas sublime.
The buzzing of bees
Hum happy and free.
In fields of wildflowers,
What a sight to be seen!
The wonders of Springtime
Fill me with bliss!
Naught a happier sight
To be seen than this!

©KSS 4/2015

In the morning I rise
With a sun lit sky.
I turn my face to the east,
Oh holy Compass.
I take a moment to sit
In still silence.
As I listen within
For sacred knowledge.
This avenue of affirmations & prayer
Love and gratitude
Lead me there.
I take my sweet time
Learning the rhyme.
This message Divinity sent
Holy, holy, holy
Am I, and We, all One.
©KSS 3/2018

Woman or Dragon?
Some could claim one in the same.
When a fire-breathing Being is met with the winds of a Goddess,
And the flames of passion are fueled with raging love and fury.
When the beat of the heart and the blood of the womb
Ignites the rhythms of Dance and Flight and Life.
When the soar in the Soul is as mighty as the roar of madness,
And then the wings take control.
When the skin and the scales become tough as nails
Because walking through fire is all that's ever been known.
When resilience is more than folklore,
And grace rests upon weary shoulders.
When the embers remain after the flame consumes
And gentleness remains there too?
Only then can one begin to understand the meaning of both-
Dragon and Woman.
©KSS 6/2019

Women were made to roar.
So don't tell us to calm down.
We'll shake and howl,
And then stand proud
As we fix each other's crowns.

Women were made to speak.
So don't silence us when we scream.
We'll stomp and rave,
And then release
The lioness within- Strong & Brave.

Women were made to lead.
So don't pretend we won't.
We'll rise and march,
And carry on fiercely,
Every sister rooted in her strength.

Women were made to bleed.
So don't act like we are weak.
We'll shed our skin,
And be renewed,
Ready to roar again.
©KSS 4/2020

We're all a little mad
In this world of spinning dreams.
Where teardrops turn to waterfalls,
And fate's determined by the sea.
We're all a little crazy
In this field of life and love.
With winding roads and rabbit holes,
And things you wouldn't dare speak of.
We're all a bit insane
Each dealt a different hand to play.
Though we shuffle the deck of cards,
The Queen of Hearts will still remain.
We're all a bit bizarre
In this place of mystery.
For time ticks faster, faster still,
A kaleidoscope like history.
We're all a little weird
Like Cheshire grinning ear to ear.
But in this Wonderland of Life,
Grand adventures find us here.
©KSS 8/2015

Do not treat me like an object.
I'm not a pleasure tool for your lust.
I am a human,
Warrior,
Goddess,
Woman,
Witch.
I do not care about your ******.

So listen as these words hiss off my lips:
I demand respect, and will accept nothing less.

Do not whistle at my back.
I am not here for your entertainment.
I will not turn to give your ego attention.
My patience has been spent.

And lest you er forget-
Without my kind you would not exist.
Alone you were not sufficient,
So God took out a rib.
©KSS 7/2018

Though you are both gone
From this Earth;
There's a gift you gave me
At my birth.

It fills a place
In my heart.
I felt it there
From the start.

You passed to me
Your wisdom, kindness, honesty.
And the passion
For writing poetry.
I cannot tell you
Just what that means.

The flutter of a Butterfly
Will always be
A beautiful sight
And the symbol of your memory
In my soul and in my mind.

In my heart
I will always feel you there,
Because a Grandmother's Love
Is the everlasting gift you shared.

Thank you for your examples & legacy.
Thank you for inspiring me.
Thank you both for sharing your life
Through written words and poetry.
And thank you both for your
Grandmother's Love you left with me.

🦋💜🦋
©KSS 1/22/2021

Caterpillar cocoon
Swirling like a monsoon.
Spinning delicate threads
Wrong turn, they'll rip to shreds.

Caterpillar cocoon
Changes coming soon.
Winding round and round
Metamorphosis bound.

Caterpillar cocoon
Fragile like a balloon.
Hoping it won't pop
Before the change can stop.

Caterpillar cocoon
In the light of the moon.
Praying change within
Brings beauty in the end.

Caterpillar cocoon
Changes coming soon.
Metamorphosis bound
Look now, beauty's all around.
©KSS 8/2013

I reach to my heart
When depth of despair draws near
And the weight of the world
Rests on my weary shoulders.

I reach to my heart
When the lack of compassion and apathy prevails
Because tongues of men spit words
That couldn't be further from the truth.

I reach to my heart
When the brave and wise tend to
Other's needs alongside their own,
Because their hearts are made of
Pure Gold.

I reach to my heart
When the fear of the unknown
Becomes too much to bear.
When my mind won't stop chattering.

I reach for my heart
When it all feels like too much...

But the Peace Lily bloomed
Just to weep with us too,
And suddenly all of our burdens became one.

I reach for my heart
When there is no hope in sight
Yet- deep down I know I can feel
The Healing Light.
Because Love is all I've ever truly known.
©KSS 4/2020

Smiles and flowers live in those moments
Where love will last forever.
Memories made of enchanting things
Are held by us together.
Beautiful thoughts like lakeside shores,
Flood me everyday.
Springtime is a thought that passes,
But love resides always.
Only happiness exists these days
When thinking back to sweet times.
Like lyrics in a melody,
It sounds quite like paradise.
Honey suckles fill the air
In that field of love.
Clouds start to gather
While rain pours down
On us from up above.
Laughter is all the remains now
When thinking of the past.
The only thing that resides there now,
Is a love that will forever last.
©KSS 2012

Mother Earth
No sacrifice She makes
Is small
At the hands of many
Who do not honor
Her at all.

And yet each Spring
New life is born
Flowers bloom
And the animals play
Hope made new
From Winter's gloom.

But the hands of men
Need to understand
Her resilience
Will not last.
And that all humans
Have a responsibility
To preserve Her brilliance-
Steadfast.

Mother Earth
Her weight on our shoulders now
Yet She continues to give.
From Her roots & soils; harvest is plenty
Into our bellies
So that all may live.

May we set aside
Our pride and ego
And all our selfish industrial waste
Get back to nature; honoring Her lands
Great care we need to take
Of Mother Earth for all our days.

©KSS 2/18/2021

Angels all around
Whispering sweetly to me.
Through the branches and the breeze,
Through this Magnolia Tree.
I stand and look up in awe,
The beauty and strength so serene.
My Angels still whispering,
With every bird and every bee.
The message so discreet,
To any human eye.
But loud and clear it's ringing,
Aligned in heartbeat with mine.
Subtle, yet so unknown.
Loud, but whispering gently:
Surrender. Surrender. Surrender.
Completely.
©KSS 3/2018

As I sit across from you, lost in conversation and coffee
I get an unexpected feeling.
But oh, how my soul knew.
In the middle of spring, and without any warning
Sunlight rushes through.

But outside it was raining.
I was pleasantly confused.

So days and weeks I float through.
And on an ordinary Wednesday,
Lost again in conversation and coffee.
I realized... the Sunlight I feel is you.
©KSS 4/2018

Whimsical as it may seem
I still find myself
Getting lost in a daydream.
I look up, and look around.
Beauty surrounds.
Life gets hard sometimes,
That will always be true.
But I have found
Joy in the mundane.
I've learned how to breathe
Through the pain and anxieties.
To live mindfully.
What does it mean to
Daydream now?
To find peace in
Doing nothing—
Except watching the
Clouds.
©KSS 8/2020

Hope.
A word that floats in the back of my mind
As emotions ebb and flow.

Hope.
When everything feels so unknown;
When seasons come and go.

Hope.
A feeling in my belly,
Like the flutter of a butterfly.

Hope.
The promise for a new tomorrow.
The steadfast love between you and I.

Hope.
When there's nothing left to do,
But surrender.

Hope.
The piece of puzzle in life that will help us
Make it through this time together.

Hope.
More than just a word or flutter;
The only thing I can cling to now.

Hope.
A gentle and sweet reminder,
We'll make it through somehow.

Hope.
For today and for tomorrow,
And just for right now.

Hope.

©KSS 4/2020

Like the Autumn breeze
We must learn to breathe-
softly, slowly, chill, serene.
For in our breath,
chattering mind will cease.
inhale, exhale, feel at peace.

Like the Autumn leaves
We must learn to fall-
Mother Earth embraces all.
For in our fall,
inner strength is built
ensuring always that we won't wilt.

Like the Autumn sun
We must learn to shine-
brightly, golden, so divine.
For in our shine,
lighting up the world
and those around to feel impearled.

Like the Autumn moon
We must learn to change-
Cycles never stay the same.
For in our change,
new growth is found.
within our hearts, may we astound.

Like the Autumn song
We must learn to sing-
Stillness into everything.
For in our song,
sweet melodies.
transformation; such a precious thing.
©KSS 9/2018

Like the wind
The water calls
Listen as the sounds
Come trickling down
A peaceful calm
Fulfills my Soul
The rhythm of the flow
Brings me back home
Music made
By Mother Earth
Free song she brings to all
Be still. Just listen to her call.
©KSS 3/2017

When I was young
I sat beneath
A Willow Tree,
Who with the wind
Carried this message
To me:

She said, "Little child,
Filled with light
And with love,
Many fears in your life,
You'll have to overcome."

With big hazel eyes,
I looked up and asked,
"Which rode do I take?
The short or the fast?"

She smiled at me then,
And with only a laugh
Said, "Your heart will know
Which path to take
For on it you see-
You will grow."

In the warm breeze
My blonde hair blew.
Confused and scared,
I started to flee
on a long road
For which I wasn't prepared.

Before I could leave
The old Willow Tree
Said, "Wait! Just one more advice:
Never let go of your dreams!
Even through pain, fear, and strife."

So here now I stand,
With all that I am;
Believing and dreaming in life.
Courageous and strong
I still carry on through
Pain, fears, and strife!
©KSS 7/2013

and what of the other tree, that bore fruits of truth
and falsehood,
by now we should have summed up: realised
that of the tree that smothered us with
a supposed confusion of not being able
to differentiate good from evil and evil from good:
we could attest with the good evil
and the evil good: in algebra the equivalent
to: a quadratic equation...
in a world where the established binary order
has become binomial... all because of ***-strangulation
akin to how the fusion of swan-monogamy
and chimpanzee polygamy - arab harems still
legal... just like slavery was still legal
for those camel jockeys as far as 1970s "officially":
yet still unofficially: the Bangladeshi slaves
of Qatar...
surely the supposed bonum ultimatum ex deus
suggests: a deity without a rigorous campfire
storytime, not plucking of the eye no hardship
of an Odin... not accountability of man
retracting, netting his existence with that dreaded
omni- prefix attached to some Prof Xavier (ex saviour)
type dynamic demagogue (gnostic gnomes
understood this, only recently i honed in
on the pronunciation of the word: yacht...
it's apparently YAT... not yαχτ -
the ch is a surd compound... unlike CHange...
unlike CHasm... no wait: Napoleon, wait...
             that's Kasm... Charon? or Haron?
i.e. Xaron? no, not kss kss... not QW QW off of a C or K...
i'm getting flashbacks from reading
James Joyce's Finnegans Wake...
     which in a time where only Orwell's 1984 is cited
with mass recognition like it's some dodo
retraction from reading the Bib'le to the dot
almost blindly... eh... m'eh...
            so i was watching this Tucker Carlson
interview with Vlad the Putt -
and... i switched off from the history lesson up
to the point where Vladie ol' Boy (he's getting old...
he's becoming irrelevant, sorry, but the guy ought
to take a Pope Emeritus stance... too much John Paul II /
Elizabeth II imitations... those ******* would cling
to the throne and sceptre and cross
all drooling, slobbering their clinginess to power...
respect for Pope Emeritus I - Ratzinger Ratz...
i switched off when he mentioned how the Polacks
collaborated with the Nazis... sure sure...
and the Soviets didn't invade Poland from the east?
right? they didn't... 123 years... ABC timespan
of "lost property"...
         bullies... ganging up... oh never mention
the ******* Swedes and the Turks have a stab...
1772, 1793, 1795 - oh and 1939...
altogether: perfect... 4 partitions of Poland...
we collaborated... we should be thankful for Joe Stalin
taking away our pride of lions: Lviv...
for what? Posen? we already established that town...
Breslau then... thankful?
thankful as in: the Katyn massacre of our intellectuals
service men of the army that the ******* Cossacks
blamed on the Nazis?!
to be frank... war = education... and let me tell you:
the Nazis were by far the better educators
to that ******* lump of red of Siberia:
those KACAPY... kaptur (hood): kacapy?
hoodlums...
                            the Nazis were by far the better
educators than the Soviets...
i'm just wondering... were we seriously on the NEXT
list should the Holocaust have been completed?
we sort of were:
    i do feel a grudge thinking that "my" people were
used as slave labour to build those futile camps...
but there's no knowing that logic went into
speaking about establishing a tausend jahr *****
and negating as a downfall joke: arbeit macht frei:
what work?! the working up to slaughter?
that's what happens when sophists come into power...
talk daisies all day long but end up
skewering potato *******...
          it's almost fascinating though: how eastern
rulers are historically conscious
while western rulers are: out to lunch when it comes
to any historical reference(s)...
living a journalistic insomnia of day-to-day...
i'll give Putin that much credit: he speaks history...
can an American president do the same?
unlikely... Russia is old... and the worst thing you
can do to a Russian is gang up on him...
bear and rat... corner a rat: say goodbye to your
artery in your neck...
you can't isolate a Russian: esp in this fair game
fair for all spirit of the Olympics...
strip a Russian of a flag, allegiance?
                    i'm defending an enemy because:
i have respect for him...
      only recently i was speaking to Charlie the Cypriot
and we were both like:
conscripted into the English army...
and fight for what? what?!
gay marriage, pronouns of transgender... what?!
what continuity of life, what existential integrity
are we... ******* talking about?
fight for a ******* dead-end? cul de sac existentialism?
i'd probably switch to the Russian side
if push: and it's being pushed: now comes the shove...
or... is there something not masculine about
me whereby: "daddy" comes in and says: look...
with that grin so diabolical it can allow him
to use 6 human bollards to control a rough estimate
of 10,000 people... dictating traffic into a tube station...

so we know that there's good evil and that there's
evil good... because there is no good good
there is no evil evil... there is no purity dynamic:
good contaminates evil and evil contaminates good...
oddly enough...
salt water and fresh water...
can't drink the sea...
but isn't fresh water easily contaminated by
parasites? eh eh?!

cite Oliver Moody: Poland doubles size of army
to counter Russia...
heroic victory over the Red Army in 1920
known as the Miracle of the Vistula...
doubled from 95,000 to 200,000...
        ultimate condition for feeling safe:
300,000 personnel...
                   1,600 tanks... more than Britain,
France, Germany, Spain and Italy... COMBINED...
fringe master 3D chess (3D chess?
that's when you know how to orientate people:
i can't exactly say: tell people what to do...
but then again people behave differently
in a crowd, there is no individualism...
the only individualism is of those idiots that argue
that waiting in a queue in an egress situation
of a stadium is their rights being taken
while gladly queuing in a supermarket with
their groceries... the singlefile allure of "reason"
*****...)
he's right though: delinquents of NATO...
so happy that they don't know the stench of
a Mongolian horde... or the Ottoman **** slurp...
just stick to your ******* garden variety life
of an islander and be content with:
oh, only the Norman invasion, how many civil wars
did we wage (is that only two?
the war of the roses and that other one with Ollie
Crommie; only two?)
and that fun side project of Jane Austen,
cricket, football or rugby...
                            now that's the life... sitcoms and
Monty ******* Python wits...
have to start calling them the wits versus the wigs...

but what of that other tree?
we established that there is good evil and there's evil good...
Erwin James just died:
convicted murderer with a troubled past who used
his sentence to shed light on life behind bars
through a column for the Guardian (2016 memoir,
Redeemable)... hmm... algebra:
                           (a + b)² = a² + 2ab + b²
now: was "i" telling a lie when "he" said that you
will know the difference between good and evil?
he said that i don't so...
another pronoun game?! IT and NOTHING are also
pronouns... they doesn't concern me...
you can be it or nothing: you's noose a bit, loose?
you snooze: you lose.
oh i can address myself in third person...
only today i woke trying to rework Jungian psychology
with the "crudeness" of the Cartesian:
res cogitans, res extensa... with my neo-Cartesian
instigation of res vanus into the whole dynamic:
basically: as much as i'd like to think that i'm a thinking
thing... i'm not actually thinking all the time...
my thinking is not a ******* AC/DC momentum:
i switch off... by switching off i invite the dynamic
of res vanus... an empty vessel...
which allows me to drift into res extensa and
re-orientate my consciousness by sometimes
catching myself thinking: passively...
should the dynamic of res cogitans be kept integrally:
well then... no wonder i studied madness
throughout my 20s... res cogitans: over-thinking
creates a schizophrenic res extensa dynamic of
hallucinating audio... vox ultra...
why think you can control thinking to subsequently
wonder why the ego has been isolated and
is seemingly beyond our control to then couple it
with all that self- *******?
by now elaborating and nice language is not on
the cards!

what of that other tree, the easier one to manage:
we ate two fruits, i think...
or at least i ate from the fruit of truths and falsehoods...
that's easier to stomach...
you can tell a truth from a lie...
can't you?                good was always going to be
conflated with evil...
because this life is a paradox...
       a paradox with clear indicators of logical steps...
gravity for one but then
we found:
                       m₁m₂
           F = G. --------
                           r²

what am i alluding to? what Fall of Man?
to me God fell... after all: how come we came into
contact with words, encoding sounds
to subsequently elaborate what we meant by X?
the Rise of Man... coupled with the Fall of God...

maybe i'm just put off by Cyrillic thinking that
it's a cheap knock off of Greek: which it is...
no one is going to convince me that
Cyrillic is half baked half arsed wholly drunk
when it comes to ensuring there is no Latin influence
protruding with some of the letters...

Аа contra Αα     see... half baked...
Ее contra Εε        again... half baked...
Зз contra Ζζ       half baked
Мм              Μμ half baked...
obviously i'll be more influenced by the Germanic
strand of what's the expected European...
history lesson Putin?
how about you align yourself to that shared
conflict with the northern crusades
after the death of Barbarossa
when the disillusioned Germans were still
eager for some crusade and if not the Muzzies
then the Lithuanian pagans...
how about the Battle of Grunwald 1410
and 1242 Battle on the Ice...
because isn't that how the northern crusades
started, from the disillusioned Germans
coming back with limp ***** after their great
Barbarossa drowned in a ******* puddle?
            hey hey: meet you halfway?!
because like i already mentioned: sooner the Slavic
people start a war against themselves
than succumb to this current western miasma...
myopia... m'eh to life...
have some ***** and a vitality: some life...
war is education...
and i do want a Russian for an enemy than a friend...
i tried having a Russian girlfriend
well obviously that backfired...
but St. Petersburg back in 2007 was such a welcoming
place...
Moscow too...
but i will not invoke Cyrillic... it's aesthetically unappealing
for me to erode whatever's left of my brain
cells on that: when i can have the beautiful Greek!

Dive in.
To the place of the unknown
To the spaces within
That, for far too long,
Have been left alone.

Breathe deep.
And give yourself permission
To move down, down, down.
Down, to the lost, forgotten
Child within, screaming for remission.

Set free.
The emotions of abandon and resentment;
Casting out and calling forth your ShadowSelf.
The atramentous Friend within,
For reconciliation.

Befriend.
This so called place of "Darkness"
It is within to make you whole.
Explore this space of deep emotion,
Waiting for it's story to be told.

Scream out!
Shed tears, do all that needs be done.
Feel the oppression, anger, heartache, despair.
Feel it until the place within-
The atramentous Friend, is no longer caged there.

Come forth
Now, with sweet release; ragged, yet-
Reborn, Renewed, Set free, Complete.
Move back into the Luminescent space;
The fear of ShadowSelf now obsolete.

Through Love
And honoring the Self as whole;
The atramentous Friend balances
The Luminescence within.
For through all things: As Above, So Below.
©KSS 7/2018

Inspiration.
Motivation.
In times of fear and doubt.
Determination.
Aspiration.
Are things life is about.
Ambition.
Direction.
To guide us on our way.
Indication.
Explanation.
Reminding us everyday.
Compassion.
Consideration.
Are what we need to show.
Affection.
Admiration.
So the world can see and know.
Pacification.
Imperturbation.
For us as a whole.
Exhilaration.
And Elation.
Lifelong for our Soul.
©KSS 12/2012

Holy.
The embodiment of what it means-
Within my flesh and bones.
Within my mind and every emotion.
Within these two hands and feet.
Within these words trickling out of me.
My voice ready to speak.
Within the blood that pours from my womb.
That some would claim as a lost opportunity
One that I have no desire to birth right now, or maybe ever.
Because I love minding my business a little "too much"
Quite literally.
That society deems as "unnatural" for a lady.
The same blood that pumps through the veins
Of my wildly compassionate heart.
Within the Acts of Service I seek to birth forth.

Holy.
The embodiment of what it means-
By my own.
By the way my feet touch the Earth,
And how that feels like home.
By the Sun, Moon, and  Stars above.
By the waters, Sea, and sand.
By passion, grief, righteous anger, Fire
And Unconditional Love.
By kindness and forgiveness.
By the embrace of a hug.
By the way of mindfulness.
By the way of living.
By the laughter of a friend.
By the touch of my Lover's hand.
By how tall the trees stand.
Rooted down deep.
By a song, rhythm, or melody.
By all that's already within me.

Holy.
The embodiment of what it means-
Isn't something separate from you and me.
You see?
Holiness is all around us.
With every. single. breath we breathe.
Inhale.
We don't have to seek outside of ourselves.
Exhale.
We don't have to do anything.
Breathe.
Just as we show up here, now, and Be.
Our hands and feet.
In our very heartbeats.
We are holy.

©KSS 2/17/2021

Among the things of life,
One thing I can be sure.
Love overcomes all strife
And is the heart's best cure.

Among the things of time,
It works all on it's own.
Some parts  don't always rhyme
Though patience is always known.

Among the things of dreams,
Don't ever let them go!
Fret not how long it seems
Move forward; it will show.

Among the things of friends,
The best ones always care.
They're with you til the end
And always prove they're there.

Among the things of peace,
I pray it will be made.
That war will quickly cease
And all the hate will fade.

Among the things of love,
I hope you spread it out.
For it comes from up above
To rid our fear and doubt.

Among the things of bliss,
Simplicity is key.
With you I leave this:
Enjoy life's big journey!
©KSS 7/2013

Out of my heart
Into my hand
Written in words
My voice to be heard.

When Spirit moves
Through rhythm and rhyme
Expression of truth
Honoring wisdom and youth.

Extension of me
On paper from ink
My ancestors before;
Their words written galore.

Their spirit lives on
Through my heart and hands
Beloved Matriarchy; their gift of Poetry.
Passed down to me.

©KSS 2/22/2021

Oh how you shine
Through the darkness
That surrounds.
I wonder if you even know
The glow of your aura
That abounds.

An orb of night
Is what I see
Every time we're eye to eye.
You, clinging to the darkened stare,
I wish knew the magnificence instead
That lives there.

Instead you choose
A lonely path,
But who am I to judge?
I don't believe in wrong or right.
I just believe you're
The orb of night.

Stumbling through
Obsidian and black
Just like the moon
Half shadowed by the Darkness;
Half shadowed by the Light.

But all I see in you
Is the light shining
Deep inside.
Which is why to me
You'll always be
The orb of night.
©KSS 2016

Beside the deep blue water
A flower grows
From the love planted there.
Beyond the rocky bluff
And green pine trees
The winds play with my hair
As I turn to look at you.
Hearts beating
Fast and wild
As your fingers caress
Every inch of my neck.
Sunlight cascades
Illuminating my face
A sight you swear you'll never forget
As you lay me down
Beside you.
For a moment, once again
Time stands still.
The world around us in black and white
But your golden blues,
And my flower eyes
Are radiant color.
©KSS 2016

it was around 2001, i.e. circa 2001 (tautology,
but not for rhetorical purposes, not as tool of the sophists)
when the mad cow disease spread across
England: that beef and hoof and moo genocide
when the cows got their "geriatric" wobblies
their Parkinson's shake-a-doodle-do's -
frenzied like Elvis finding gravity in the knees
and the pelvis with suede and blue dogs...
music before drug affirmative mantras...
yes... then... around that time...
i was still one year short of sitting my GCSEs...
me and this rascal, Peter, Richardson(?) -
we used to roam the streets on the weekend...
climbing trees, throwing glass bottles into the air
waiting for them to shatter... going up multistorey
car parks and spitting on people...
well... i did have an agenda about spitting on people:
another time when i was much younger
i was taken to Chessington World of Adventures
theme park by my father... there we were minding
our own business watching seals
when a ride passed us... one of those train rides on
stilts - a group of boys in a carriage decided it was
fun to spit on people... one massive phlegm landed
on my father's head... i was furious!
i wanted to get my own back... as it happens...
karma can be blind... there are always collaterals,
innocent bystanders while karma is allowed to sentence
some sort of compensation...
karma is hardly personal: or rather people THINK
that karma obeys personal qualms,
you can't harness karma for your own sake...
but people always cite karma like so, especially in the west...
well i did get my own back...
i managed to land a juicy phlegm hark on a collateral's
head from about 20m high up in a parking lot
with Peter one beautiful Saturday afternoon in Ilford...
so i was supposed to go to this outdoors resort
centre for "poor" and "disadvantaged" kids in Wales,
Glasbury (see it? now say it... the Welsh say it
as Glaze-Bury: it's not Glass-Bury, more on that in
a minute)...
          i didn't go with Peter that year because said X...
bad moo moo...
          but the P.E. (physical education) teacher was kind
enough to offer me a chance to go again
two years later... but then i was sitting my A-levels
but by then Peter was long gone:
deciding to finish his education at 16 and go into tattooing,
getting his teeth knocked out in pub brawls,
ending up working in a carpet retailer
(although, much later i found him shacked up with
this honey and i thought to myself: ****...)
so i went to this retreat...
                    we did horse-riding, caving,
canoeing...
                         but one day we were told to do this exercise...
split into two groups...
one group: older boys with younger girls...
group two: older girls with younger boys...
   we were given a map (topographic to be more exact)...
we were driven out into the countryside away
from the resort...
group two (older girls with younger boys) was
dropped off first...
we were explicitly told... you can follow the road
from where you came... or...
so the first group was dropped off first...
our lot (older boys with younger girls) was dropped
off way way further afield...
to this day i'm wondering if i cheated...
when our lot were dropped off... map in hand...
i asked the driver... so... where are we?
a creazione di adamo finger hovered over the map
and pinpointed our starting position
(don't all public maps ref WHERE YOU ARE
on a map? YOU ARE HERE... so i wasn't cheating,
was i? you need to know where you are on
a map before you can start reading it and then
translating it onto the environment, no?)
so as Michelangelo pointed and then drove off
i took charge... ah! i spotted a short-cut through
a little grove, forest(?) and a cow field...
so as the boys in the group were busy trying to chat
up the girls i ended up (unconsciously or otherwise)
the leader of the group, taking responsibility,
being accountable (**** me, this NVQ3 in spectator
safety is really brainwashing me into being an upstanding
citizen)...
          and so... we managed to beat the other
group... so much so that once we reached the retreat
house we were already busy doing physical exercises
in the yard to **** time while the bewildered group
were coming down the hill with that HUH?! expression...
point being:
now i find myself in a similar situation...
if not a physical intervention dynamic then at least
an insinuation at... dialectical-sophistry...
because you don't have time you don't have
a Platonic leisurely for dialectics per se...
therefore in conflict situations you need
a dialectical-sophistry dynamic: to become quickly
persuasive...
like in my last shift at Tottenham Hotspur...
operating a human cordon at the entrance of
the Seven Sisters tube station entrance...
           the Pareto Principle:
        in terms of crowd control...
         20% of people will cause you 80% of problems...
how did i manage the massive queue of people
with only 6 SIAs (security industry authority operatives)?
i left them to it while i studied the crowd
and listened to their complaints
in order to spread my point of view INTO the crowd
for the crowd to hear my own constraints...
constipations... concerns... whatever...
talk to one person and then word-of-mouth
will do your bidding...
"yes sir, i agree with you, but it is not the football
club's fault, Enfield council should have started
making logistical improvements to the area,
they knew for well over 5 years that
the original stadium would be demolished,
from a 30,000 capacity to a 60,000 capacity...
the infrastructure of the area should have been
updated to accommodate for a strain in egress..."
boom bara boom... talk to one person and then
that person talks to another person in the queue
and you contain the disgruntlement...
you also add the empathetic:
"well sir, every single shift i finish as Wembley,
even though the staff leave at least 2h after an
event, i still have to end up queueing with the spectators,
yes, i too feel like i'm cattle and i'm being herded,
but please appreciate the fact that
when these transport hubs, stations, were built,
there was no incentive for a coliseum culture
revitalisation, football stadiums weren't even remotely
near the capacities they are at the moment,
so how would you begin to increase train station
capacities, would you think that double-decker
trains could be envisioned to accommodate more
people in transit?"
i might not be a police officer... but i'm second best...
my mother always wanted me to be:
either a police officer or a teacher...
well **** that... but it turns out: if i do this security
job and write sly poems on the side...
i might have eventually become both... in an informal
sense of the word...
not that i'm thinking about pleasing my mother's
ambitions for me...
i have my own ambitions... or call them dreams...
only today i sent a picture of a note i crafted
upon waking... first thing that popped into my head...
to my girlfriend... in ******* Hawaii...
go figure... but technology has made such relationships
possible, bearable even...
yes i'm going to have hiccups: i'm a man in my
30s... i wasn't a flirt in my teen years or my 20s...
now i'm a natural flirt... and that's my bad...
i've gained enough confidence over the years that
it's hard for me to not be a flirt...
but a flirt is a game without actually wanting women
a flirt is a way of studying women...
i have one i don't need a harem...
    if girls used to tease boys in their teens...
see... girls play a game of tease...
boys play a game of flirt...
tease for flirt... tease for flirt...
but only once you reach a certain age can you start
to flirt proper... and it's usually with the younger
girls in their 20s... who you have absolutely...
respect(?) - no... interest for...
         but then again: is that neurotypical given how
many instances there are of clucky men
wanting to settle down with younger women?
me... ha ha... am i neurotypical?
                    so i woke up... wrote a note...
took a picture... sent it to HER...
and it read as follows:

                        Groß = Groz
                                         (the same Z in Polish and English)
                 Since Zeit = Cajt (not z'igh 't
                                                 but (tseit - in English
                                                   of ****** phoneticism
                                                as above, cajt)
                ∴ - the one time that Braille influenced
          mathematics, not really, but that's
            therefore:
                      ß = Z                 not Ś or Š
              ß = Z (proper, the Polish and English Z,
          which is not the Deutsche Z which is
           the Polish C and the English TSE)
          
obviously i could have looked this up in a dictionary:
but it's so much more rewarding
when you wake up and have an epiphany...
it's better than waking up with a memory
of a dream... because you wake up with a memory
of a dream rather than the dream itself... no?
well that's what memory is to begin with:
the blurred line with the unconscious
and dreaming... obviously when memory is stripped
of this airy fairy day-dreaming construct
of relaxation and utilised proper for: arithmetic
and spelling... well... that's another matter...

scharf: spitz (spits slavic C)...
Aglican X - kss...
sharf Es stumpf Zee             dead Ed... living Dee
for the three K'appa sounds:
                                "
Cat Quip K' (potassium)         'alium

i had this Spaniard called Jorge... everyone
English called him just that... George (not gorge)
Joerge...
so when i asked him i sort of knew what
he would say: written Jorge...
but in Spanish... d'uh J and G are... H...
Horhe...
                        and yes i could have learned this
from books...
but then... people write books...
so...          why not skip the books and read people?

it's the sweetest thing
when your ocean blues
are staring right at me.
and I know I like to romanticize,
but this time I know it's true.
because when my hazel greens
are staring back at you, too.
there's a Silence that
only comes when even the most
immaculate words just wouldn't be
enough to describe the love
between us.
©KSS 12/2020