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I'm tired of fighting for a we that you don't seem to ever be in the mood to fight for deep in your core

I'm tired of working on a we just to have me thrown in my face till I surrender and hit the floor

I'm tired of having to be perfect in order for me to be worth you sticking around for

I'm tired of being in a single topic argument just to have you bring in dozens from the way back store

I'm tired of being held fully responsible for the issues I'm not even remotely responsible for

I'm tired of working on us issues just for you to shrug them off 'cause I have so many more

I need you to want me to be part of your we, otherwise what the fuuck are we struggling through this fire for?

I'll be waiting for your answer by the exit door but only for a couple minutes more

©2024
Carlo C Gomez Mar 23
~
So where did you go?
Where in daydream tarnation are we?
     If only you could see my exodus
     and relent

Where are you now?
Matters of blood and connection
forming at the mouth
we are the fabrication
      --an image apart from ourselves

To break is something sacred
in the Morse code of brake lights
     through time stained windows
     through a thousand contractions
the dead are getting younger

If only you could see me
walk into the blackness
not to build a fire
       but melt, wander, disappear
       and relent
       relent
       relent

~
Jamesb Jan 25
You can really hurt yourself
If you hold your breath too long,
Headaches and dulled vision,
Part way to passing out with enough
Determination,
Add water and depth and a swift rise,
The bends as bubbles of gas
Form in unhelpful places,
Or swam too deep too far
And barely making the surface
That suddenly seems so far
From my feebly flapping limbs,

I guess we have all held
Our breath across the years,
Waiting on some thing or someone
To finally come good,
Or arrive or even just to be,
Somehow or somewhere or somewhen,
Breath suspended,
Life on hold just waiting with
Inextinguishable hope
Of something good,
And precious,
Worth waiting for,

Well I know I have,
And I know I have been the one,
The thing and or the circumstance
That has caused breath to be held,
And to my shame not always
Was I worth it,
But now - actually it is me with bursting lungs,
And the pain is near unbearable,
Perhaps time to let out that air with
A loud and pain filled gush,
To turn and start the swim
To shore

Some dreams are never meant

To be
Vira Jan 14
I realised that the pattern was repeating over and over.
One day, I decided to face it.
I opened my wounds and surrendered.
Praying for healing,
Feeling the pain.
Then, it came.
I mustered enough courage to sit with the sensations in my body, feeling them, instead of
shutting it, numbing it,
running away, wishing away,
I stood there and faced it.
It was painful.
It felt like
my heart was shattered into thousand pieces.
my gut was wrenched out.
the nerves in my head pulled in all directions.
as if I was looted of every ounce of blood from my body.
It was raw.
It was cathartic.
Tears weren’t enough to bear them. Self pity did not help.
I cried, I begged, I screamed, I wallowed.
Finally, I gave up.
I breathed.
I just breathed, feeling the breath.
I had to let it all in before letting it all go.
Then, came some relief.
I see glimpses of freedom and joy,
It feels like a triumph.
It feels soft.
It feels calm.
It feels good.
It feels god.
That must be the healing.
This is how the process of healing trauma seems to me. I did not know where the pain came from.
Bolaji Temilola Dec 2023
When time plays games with you,
You can't force it or manipulate it.
All you can do, All that is Left to you
Is to surrender  yourself to time.

I read somewhere "that life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
Don't fight it! Don't stop it!!
Accept it!!! And move on with your life.
When the time is right,we will see each other again
I am moving on!
Zywa Aug 2023
A kiss, naked I

stand before you, I'm not me --


I am your lover.
Novel "The PowerBook" (2000, Jeanette Winterson), chapter "SEARCH"

Collection "Loves Tricks Gains Pains in the 0s and 10s"
Zywa Aug 2023
Darling, I don't want

to conquer you, but to be --


absorbed in your fire.
Novel "The PowerBook" (2000, Jeanette Winterson), chapter "HELP"

Collection "Loves Tricks Gains Pains in the 0s and 10s"
Zywa Jul 2023
I was seventeen,

with all my being I longed --


to offer myself.
Letter to Antonio Cervi, June 29th, 1933, Antonia Pozzi)

Collection "Love Mind and Death"
Zywa Jul 2023
A romantic kiss;

her first, so her eyes tell me --


dying passively.
Novel "De laatste kans - De geschiedenis van een liefde" ("The last chance - The history of a love", 1960, Simon Vestdijk), chapter 1-3

Collection "Inmost"
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