your absence
is like a wound
made by
the moon

You are...
      
             Stunning.

you make my bones ache

                            heart

                        ­       head

                                  soul

you make me ache

I'm afraid
I'm afraid that I'll stop seeing you
That you you'll forget about me
I'm afraid of losing you for good
Of you ignoring me
I'm afraid that you'll lose my name
The memories that we've made
I'm afraid that I'll annoy you too much
And that you'll hate me soon
I'm afraid that I'm falling for you
And that you won't love me too
I'm afraid that you might love me
and that I'll let you down
I'm afraid of losing you
I'm afraid of loving you
I'm afraid of letting you down

What
Have you done
But tear me apart
Little tiny pieces
Of my broken heart
A day
An hour
A second
A year
Darling
It's useless
This irrational fear
I've been waiting
For relief
From the pain
But all
You do
Is hurt me again

A glance across the room
Reveals more secrets than one would think
If I may elaborate
It says that my heart still has hope
Of being repaired
It says that I miss you
And I’m too scared to let you know
It says that I’m still wishing
For another chance

crystals flooding her eyes
she blinks, breaking the dam
they stream down her face, sparkling
the lights are a blur and the plane rises above them
she doesn't want to leave
"goodbye," she whispers
to their apartment
"goodbye," she whispers
to their favorite spot by the lake
"goodbye," she whispers
to the person who made her feel like she was worth it
she doesn't want to leave him
but he does

my heart is alive
it's hurting so very sweetly
with the taste of you

how lovely it burns
I miss the taste of your mouth
while the day goes by

sharpie on my skin
i want to write my words on
your flesh so gently

i can try harder
but words don't do you justice
I wish you were mine

Dancing in the headlights
Fireflies like shadows of stars
Smiles taste like strawberries
Hands hold like they'll never let go
It's about to rain
The skies hot tears
But we don't care
We talk by the river
Our feet dipped in
The moon's reflection shattered
As you push me in
Hold each other in dark
Our favorite song
Hand in hand
All night long

"amor"
he whispered
lips close to hers
his arms
round her waist
she listened to his words
bodies moving
under the sunrise
lips touching
shining blue eyes
"amor"
he whispered
her hands in his hair
taste of love
floating in the air
breath in
each other's essence
relishing
each other's presence
"amor"
he whispered
hands on her
her body shivered
no space between each other
bodies moving against the other
hands clasped
hearts beating
hoping it lasts
faces heating
"my love"
she said.
"forever"
he told her.

her soul was the flavor of anarchy
and he knew he wanted a taste
silver roses and bloodred flame
to win her heart was a lovely game
he kissed her in the rain
and she touched him without shame
he wanted her heart
but only got pain
she played around
with the strings of his heart
but she sometimes feared
she would tear them apart
a flicker
or flame
a bite
and a taste
of her
anarchy
soul.

Do you remember
The summer before December
You stole my sharpie from me
And wrote my name on a tree
It said Ana was
But Ana wasn't
ever really here

and i saw
an angel
with a smile like
a heart attack
laced with love
with eyes like
the heavens
and hands
like magic
and a laugh
like everything
i ever needed

There was an angel who fell from the sky
And I mended his broken wings
But it pained me so
When he had to leave
He blessed me goodbye
And kissed me on the cheek
And promised that
He’d come back for me

Flower growing around my wrists
Angry angry angry
Thorns cut deep into my skin
Angry angry angry
My blood is boiling
And leaking from my eyes
Red blooms blossoming from the tight cracks in my fists
Angry
Angry
Angry

crimson beads
on a pale wrist
blade digging
white-knuckled fist
tears flood
from sparkling eyes
wishing for
a quick demise
a painful love
piercing heart-flesh
lips like velvet
on cuts still fresh
a dream of a lover
of someone so sweet
a lovely human
to make me complete

walking with you beside me
my heart can't help but smile
i just wanna lay with you
and talk for a while
arms around me
you just astound me
angelic is the word for you
i wanna mean the world to you
darling your smile
makes it's own light
there's something about you
that makes it all alright
maybe someday you'll remember
my touch, light like a feather
drawing hearts all over your skin
darling won't you let me in
again

Anticipation
To see you
Excitement
Overflows
My heart
It swells
At the thought of you

jagged
and ******
the glass
pierces

dripping
to the ground
red jewels
smeared

it doesn't hurt
anymore
when it rips
into my flesh

it doesn't hurt
anymore
but you do

without you,
          i can't seem to do anything
                                               but
                                                       f
                                                         a
                                                           l
                                                             l

                                                               a
                                                                 p
                                                                   a
                                                                      r
                                                                        t

I’ll watch you
Passing by on your cloud
Waving at me
Tears like rain, pure and loud
I’ll say hello
One last time
As you feel relief
For once in your life
No more heat
When your wrists bloom red
No more pain
When you get stuck in your head
No more pressure
From behind your eyes
When you hold it all back
Trying not to cry
You gave it all to me
When you cut your ties
You gave it all to me
When you decided to die

a poet's pen
with scarlet ink
paper thick
for blood to sink
roses fill
the empty space
while tears fill up
in the poet's place
these shadows offended
they tease and they taunt
petals fall
as the roses fought
their darling dear
their poet's fear
as the shadows were out for blood
a poet's own
to draw it from
skin pale like a rainy day
fiery hair
tangled in thorns
a poet's pen
in a poet's corpse

It hurts
All of it
An ache
What an insatiable hunger
I'm hurting
Are you?

if we had five minutes left
i'd spend them with you
staring into the eyes
of a pretty soul who flew
into the soon to be dead skies
we can't escape our demise
if we had to run away
from things we couldn't comprehend
i would stay with you
forever, until the end

ebony flowing from your scalp
like a river of never-ending night
a rocky river bed staring at me
with water verdant and cool
a curvaceous figure draped in ivory
with gentle speckles dusted across your cheeks
rose petals part while you speak
words leaving them like music

i called him ash
as charcoal was a bit obvious
and i loved him
so of course
i had to keep it a secret

every word you say
plays on repeat in my brain
until you tell me more
don't you worry
I'll keep walking towards you
even when my legs are sore
you call me obsessed
but you love the attention
i call you stupid
but i love your attention

Rolling in the grass
Hands around my brain
Squeezing
Can’t get them out
Screaming
Hurting
Rolling in the grass
My body is constricting
My eyes are burning
I feel like
I’m gonna explode

I can see it
Just as the day I arrived
November leaves decorating freshly dug soil
Fluttering down onto a tombstone
From bright and vivid
To crumbling and dead
Someday I’ll die
The thought is so strange to have in my skull
Wrapped around a case of pink fleshy synapses
Everyone dies
I see it around me
From behind tempered glass and blurry corneas
“I’m sorry”s from a chapped and dull mouth
To every lover of a lifeless corpse
Dressed in silk and lace
Skin so pale it glows with false rejuvenation
When I die
I want to be buried in rosewood
My coffin filled with petals and bluebell skeletons
So that when I am unearthed
I am covered in the rancid stink of rot
That is not just my own
Larvae birthed in my hollow womb
Giving life to the cycle of death
When you die
I will not be far
Whether I am young or old
I don’t think I could take
Thinking about your beautiful corpse
All alone, in the desolate dirt
Decaying
Deteriorating
Destroyed
By undeserving maggots and writhing ****
Feasting on glorious flesh
Never to know how precious it once was

Autumn came before me,
And she asked:
"When all my leaves change,
And burrows are dug,
When your sweaters are worn,
And you fall in love,
Please protect my golden boy,
Stare into his hazel eyes,
Run your hands through his straw spun hair,
And hold him close until sunrise."
You were born of Autumn.
And Autumn loved you so.
She put you in my arms,
And asked me to never let you go.
I'll honor her wishes,
I will keep you close.
Your heart is made of gold,
And I'll love you the most.
So when Autumn comes,
Once again,
I'll tell her that
I was your friend.

a world like this
was never meant to hold you

the trees were humming
your birthday song
the clouds were cuddling you
in their arms
the grass was soft
beneath your head
the flowers decorated
your nature's bed
the wind was soft
on your reaching hands
an empty space
where a mother stands
no worries, though, child
don't be afraid
i will be with you
and come to your aid
a sweet babe
in the woods of forever
keeping you safe
born with a tether
a tether to nature
to all things sweet
i'll love you always
and your darling heartbeat

Your words are crushing
My face is flushing
As you say
You never loved me

Scared of the dark
Locked in the basement
Climbing to the top stair
Only to be pushed to the bottom
Locked in my room
Can barely reach the doorknob
A small hungry girl
Sobbing and snotting
No supper again tonight
Or eat off the dogs
Trying to take care of my little brother
Forced to watch him eat my chapstick
It wasn't his fault
Brain not fully formed
Taken from my mother
A foster home was supposed to be better
Watching with tear-filled eyes
As they cut off my doll's hair
Can't stop shaking
Getting punished for it
They took my brother from me
Can't see him anymore
I still cry about it sometimes

beans in my shoes
beans in my pockets
she put beans
even inside my locket
i don't know why
she likes beans so much
she says they're good to eat
and nice to touch
she's kinda strange

beans in my bed
beans on my head
she really likes beans
i guess i'll have to deal with it
but only coz i love her

"you're beautiful"
you told me
"really?"
"of course"

Beginning of the day
Morning
Light is leaking in from between my white gauzy curtains
Dancing shadows of leaves show a performance on my skin
My golden hair gently moves as I lift up my head
Blood rushes
The familiar scenery of my room leads to content
I stretch,
Arching my back and pointing my toes
One of my socks fell off as I slept
Last night floods my mind

behind her bangs
she saw
in the field where she sat
was dusted
with violets and bright, ruby poppies
the sky was painted with gold and violet
hues of blue and pink.
behind the darkness of her eyes
she thought.
she opened them,
and saw that
ink had bled into the sky
deep purples
blacks and blues.

I seem to write
My best at night
When I can't sleep
And I've turned out the light
When I've said goodnight
To the darkness under my bed
Twixt my pillows
And neath my head
Once I've said goodnight
To the the bits of light
That has bled
From my window
And the streetlamps

divinity
your body
is divinity
elegant
and hollow
save for the rot
eating away at precious flesh
so many colors
smeared on your bare skin
i've never seen
something so magnificent
spilling from your eyes
glossy and crimson veined
is ocean water
the one you're so afraid of
fingertips dripping a crystalline glaze
painted onto a canvas
of a distorted face
that almost looks like you

blisters
slither
down my arm
like a pus-filled snake

boils
stick to my flesh
like barnacles
on a moldy
rotting
boat

pop
and squirt
infections
galore
disgust
is illogical
when dinner
is ready.

what a smile
a splendid grin
lovely eyes
letting light in
a laugh
like butterflies
flying
from an airborne stone.
a touch
like warm snow
a blanket
to move and mold
a voice
like blooming dahlias
hair
soft and curled
arms
to fold around me
comfort
and joy
in your embrace
love
is all the more sweeter
with you

blue chiffon roses
pink ones
made from tulle
yellow
from cotton
green ones made of wool
orange made from linen
purple made from flannel
but the prettiest ones of all
are the blue chiffon roses

cant breath
burning burning
my wrists are burning
my eyes are burning
my chest is burning
my brain is burning
i cant breath
stop stop stop
get out of my head

i'm breaking
ground is shaking
why do i let you do this to me

i bury you
underneath the sand
at the deepest part of the ocean
and every once and a while
i get the courage
to swim down
to the very bottom
and I dig
and dig
and dig
your body is pale
your lids are closed
your lips are blue
you almost look peaceful
the water tangles your hair
and while i brush it out
i give you gentle kisses
and then bury you once more

oops
i dropped the candle
the flame didn't go out
i guess i'll watch
your pretty art burn down
i guess i could call it revenge
let's have a moment of silence because we know we're gonna end
darling it's inevitable
oops
there goes the cherry wood table
burn it down
you said to me
trust me i'll keep it burning
for eternity
oops
your world is in flames
not my fault
that you've never felt ashamed
of anything but me
go climb a tree
and trust me when i tell you
i'll burn that down too

She felt as though her face was on fire and her face was on fire and she felt on fire and she wanted to burn.

you're on my mind
and my hands
they're
s h a k i n g

and even though you hurt me
i still can't help but
o b s e s s
over you

i'm burning
it's like fire
s p r e a d i n g
over what's left
of my heart