For him, it's either watch him fly sky-high or put him in the ground

I always feel two steps behind
No matter what the topic at hand
Even things I'm sure that I'm sure of
You can break down that certainty
Within seconds

Make me doubt the person
That I know myself to be
I dare you
Convince me that I am someone else
Because I'm stubborn until I'm afraid

Afraid to be laughed at
Afraid to be judged
Afraid to be made into a fool

So I take the initiative and laugh it off
Because declaring "I'm just an idiot",
"I don't know anything about anything"
Or simply keeping my mouth shut
Is far easier than hearing it elsewhere

It is easy to see that I'm flawed
Yes, it is splayed out for all to see
I am hopelessly co-dependant
Utterly disorganised and depressed

Stupidly ridden with anxieties
(Thus awful at living in the moment)
Easily distracted but not detached
And yet, deeply submerged in love

As you're my favourite thing
About myself

And it is easy to see that I'm loved
Or at least it should be, although,
You do remind me the right amount
For me to feel... not so lonely

Not so unloved
Not so unloveable

Believing in love...
Believing that it will last forever
Is what broke me before

Believing that I was loved
And that that wouldn't change
Made it all so much harder

When it blew up in my face

Believing the words "I love you,"
And "I won't stop loving you,"
Led to my dislocated heart

So how could you blame me
For inevitable insecurities
Surrounding those words now?

Because I love you...

I cannot get enough of you
But every time I ask for a kiss
Or declare that I love you first

Internally, I am petrified
That you could reject me
As damage is more than done

On my self-esteem, on my heart

And I love you so so much
I just wish that didn't scare me
As I'm sick of feeling vulnerable

For the sake of being happy
And you make me so so happy
But that scares me every day

Because I will love you forever

One bite is never enough for you
You take the time to taste it all
And won't stop until you're full
But when your jaw weakens
The frustration sinks in fast
So when you kiss me,
Tell me,
Do my flavours dance on your tongue?
Because the finality of that moment,
When you complete a task and start to breathe again...
I just don't know if I can provide you with such relief
And you tell me that I can
But how could I possibly deserve a cherry like you on top of the mountain that is my heart?
But that's the thing
There's no one like you
Because you are the sweetest grump
Whenever frustrated, my sugarplum
And the remainder of you is glee
That can sink its teeth right into me
So bite off as much as you can,
Leave me to sit on your taste buds,
And take your sweet time
To savour me