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kyleigh g Feb 2018
psych ward
constant paranoia
sleepless nights
bustling hospital halls

trust me
this is nothing less than horrific
after attempting to end it all

"take me home"
i whisper to no one
through my silent tears

staying in a psych ward
for just one week
felt like several years

all i can do
is worry
about if anyone will care

i think they believe
that they would be better off
if i was no longer there

my week in the hospital
was heart-wrenchingly
bleak

everyone says
it made me stronger
but i feel immensely weak
i apologize for pouring my heart out. but it's very therapeutic.
Continue reading...
Ashley Black Jan 2017
Flaws
What makes me horribly gut-wrenchingly sad,
is that at my weakest moments,
I didn’t even think I deserved my tears.
Like somehow,
in the grand scheme of things,
My pain isn’t validated.
Others have suffered worse,
Why should I think I deserve to cry?
What a low place to fall.
That even my agony was a Flaw.
#truth #sad #fall #agony #flaw
Continue reading...
Shay Jan 2016
Alan; our Lily of Life
The lily of life, full of humility and devotion - the beautiful kind
that everyone would choose to pick from the fields I think you'll find.
One who defied the definition of a heroic inspiration,
your talent outshone all others; you caused quite the sensation.

You tenaciously grasped onto your stem of life
with the insidious poison of demise within your cells rife,
your colours darkening and fading away,
and yet you remained God's most beautiful creation each and every day.

As your petals fluttered down, by your side was your wife
while you heart-wrenchingly closed the circle of your life.
Now, we all shall miss watching you bloom through the days
and we will remember you, forever and ALWAYS .
#love #life #death #cancer #actor #metaphors #lily #alan #alanrickman #rickman
Continue reading...
Dalton Bauder Oct 2012
the soldier
the soldier knelt to fix his cap,
dug deep into trenches, he stopped.
amidst the shots, he reached for the map
if not in his pocket, it’s lost.
“it seems like we’ve been here for years”
the man beside him squawked.
“an hour seems like many days,
because we’ve gotten so lost.”
unsure of quite how to respond,
the soldier raised his brow
but as he was about to speak,
the man who’d spoken went down.

the soldier raised his head to see the great alsace-lorraine.
the war had raged for far too long, and so he contrived an escape.
he planned to sneak across the flank,
advance the trench on his own
but as he stood to make his break, his heart
sank quite gut-wrenchingly low.
he thought to himself in a humble tone,
“i can’t do this alone.”
although his intentions were clearly courageous,
his weakness truly had shown.

as lady luck would have her way,
the days kept withering by
as the soldier so fervent to capture this land
tried not to keep track of the time.
they advanced to the east, but to their dismay
the french would push them right back
and until a day they’d find a way,
the men had no way to attack.
a fateful storm rolled in one day,
a blanket of snow o’er the field
and the mood of both great war machines,
had slowly came to a yield.
the soldier, so tired of the weight of the war
climbed out, with a fire in his eye.
he raised his rifle high in the air
and cried “Deutschland über alles”

the soldier then fell onto his knees,
and raised his hands to the the sky
not seconds passed before the scream
as snow and french bullets did fly.
the soldier was struck right through his lung
and grasped his chest to breathe
but all could see his head was hung
as the soldier collapsed from his knees.
there was no escape, he said to himself
as the snow slowly blurred into light
and he passed away on the holy ground
and they never did win that fight.
This is the the heaviest allegory i've ever written.
Continue reading...
Michelle Paret Jan 2014
Euphoria
Ever since I could remember
I have been so intrigued and intensly curious about space, the planets,
galaxies, the moon especially, black holes, and time travel
I would be in the happiest place on Earth at the Rose Space Center in New York City
The cosmos
They're mysteriously beautiful, captivating, divine
I vividly remember being 7 and 8 years old, looking up at the stars
with my dad or even alone and thinking
"What's out there? What is space?" I would crave to know.
I would pace back and forth thinking, just thinking for hours and hours a night what it all could be.
I now see that that was just my way of experiencing curiosity for something much bigger than humans (which I understand now is the Universe)
Realizing that there is something out there no one on earth could ever explain.
An energy, "god", a being, whatever you wish to call it.
That was my 7 year old mind conceiving those thoughts for the very first time and understanding what I was actually thinking.
The conversations my dad and I would have in our backyard about space
have become my most precious and cherished moments I have with him
I get lost in thought when space arises
It is a topic that I feel very close to, connected, one with
It brings an almost nostalgic emotion to me
A deep seeded love
I currently experience this same emotion with a few other cerebral passions,
but the thought of space was my very first
The second passion is something that is very special to me due
to the long hours and days and years I've spent learning as much as I possibly could
Psychology
About 5 or 6 years ago, I realized that I was increasingly curious and infatuated
with human behavior, body language, emotion
The natural drive in me that insists to look into other's minds has
never faded, only increased
There was a critical point in my metamorposis/enlightenment where I just stopped
I stopped everything that made my existence anything but an existence
I stopped talking
I began listening
I stopped looking away
I began watching
I stopped moving
I began sitting still
I had become a true listener, observer, meditator
Watching body language and two people having a conversation is
mesmerizing to me
How they move to express a notion
How odd we truly look
I apply the things I've learned in my everyday life
I notice patterns and quirks about everyone that they most likely don't even notice
It comes very naturally to me to be able to know just a little about
a person and figure out the rest entirely on my own
And when I later find out I was right, it just makes me
feel even closer to that person
(For a very, very long time, I would conceal my thought processes and the things
I was truly passionate about because I always knew I thought very differently
than my peers
I began to believe, maybe I was just "weird"
But during the early stages of my metamorphosis/enlightenment, I realized that I am not.
I am special. I am something not everyone can be
I am something that possesses a soul so warm and spacious that it took me
17 years to grasp and connect to
My soul is as light and wispy as the finest, graceful feather getting
blown by the gentle wind on the bay
No one else can feel the way I feel
The way my soul feels when I am experiencing love, or friendship)
Now
The third, most exponential passion
Astrology
The absolute most mind-wrenchingly perfect combination of the cosmos and Psychology
It welcomes me to solve my instinctive, cerebral yearning drive to probe into someone
else's mind, soul, body and see them for exactly who they are
in their natural soul state
Astrology explains everything, absolutely everything
I ever was, am, and will be. It is so incredibly dead accurate about me that
shying away from this study would be the biggest lie to myself
I became genuinely interested and educated in Astrology during an odd time
during my metamorphosis/enlightenment, but has definitely
molded my energies into who I am today, right now at this very moment (cliché, yes I know)
and guided me toward true, deep, self love and a mind of endless possibility
The feeling I experience when I am speaking to anyone about Astrology and they
ask me all these questions about it,
being able to give them in-depth answers is the greatest
feeling in the world
I lose complete track of time and could talk over night not realizing
how long I have been talking for

It's the passions like these that make life beautiful
The passions like these make one wonder, act, and seize
the things they were destined to be here for.
I am blessed by the Universe Herself
Her love for me is so pure and prominent that I have fallen in love
with Her
Maybe this will all come together in some sort of way
that would make me think
"So this is why..."
I wonder
I love
I see
Continue reading...
Eric W Feb 2015
All Good Things
All good things come to those who wait.
Maybe, finally,
I have waited long enough
for a chance to have,
for a chance to love.
For a chance to spread my affections
through the great expanse of your heart,
damaged through past afflictions
and bitter memories,
I can soothe.
For I seethe
much the same,
and there is no blame,
to be cast or recast through
the past,
it's a shame.
That one so heart-wrenchingly beautiful,
(but she can't see so)
can be so trodden upon not to
see.
Not to see that it is she
who wanders and floats through many
a dream,
within a dream,
and casts away the sub-standards
of basic human wants
into something of god-like taunts.
And the dreams I have are never-ending.
Not because they don't end,
(Oh, they do)
but because I refuse to let them.
Alas!
I cannot slumber for eternity,
I must wake.
I must face that which is an
inevitability in its own right.
The insatiable desire of the freedoms
that we must not retire,
no.
We must be free to wander forth,
into a darkness, away from the light,
then see a sad soul
and regain to...
fight?
To fight again and again and
again?!
Perhaps we should cease,
if only we could.
We continue all the same (in much the same),
knowing what is to come,
knowing what peers just around
the bend.
Knowing, yet hoping,
against all hope,
that all good things must
end.
Continue reading...
Mikaila Nov 2015
Unbearable Lightness
Sometimes I love you so much I can't breathe.
You're always there now, on the edges of my mind.
You're like a light that falls on every thought I ever have-
You don't ever obscure anything, you just make it all clearer,
Brighter,
Better.
When I feel sad, the thought of you flits across my mind like sunlight on the water
And I feel warmer.
When I am about to fall asleep your fingers drum my heartbeat
And I am at peace.
And I,
Lying in your arms
Skin to skin
Soul to soul
Lying in silence for the first time in five years
My demons not just silent but shrinking,
I can't help it-
I know I could spend my life like this.
I know I could be content to come home to you,
Not even that,
Not just,
But for you to be
What home means.
In those dangerous, quiet hours of the morning
When your breath tickling my neck makes my heart ache with joy that you ever took a breath
And the smell of your hair lulls me into dreams of your smile
I dream in waking as well;
I admit to myself
Just how serious I am when I murmur that I love you
Just how deeply I've fallen already.
In those moments
I know that you are already
Home to me
And I can brush the thought aside when I am too scared to let it live but
The proof is in the way I ache to leave you when the morning comes.
I hurt inside when we kiss goodbye at your door,
You bleary eyed and wrapped in a blanket,
Me being tugged away by a world I am increasingly, blatantly
Uninterested in
If you aren't there to light it up.
My life nags at me like a whiny child
And I push its greedy fingers away.
What is life when there is love?
What is the work you do to pay your bills when there is the work you can do to feed your soul?
There are wounds healing in me that I didn't know I had,
Wounds that protest feebly when I turn away for the stairs.
What is a house I grew up in
When all it holds for me are memories of so many nights
Wishing for what I feel when I'm with you?
And yet I know we are young and afraid,
Caught in the tide of this enormous world
But the strength with which I feel that we can conquer it is staggering
If we can only reach one another, tethered by the wishes we've never dared to speak before,
Holding on with fingers that have slipped away from too many perfect days
And hearts that have bled for too many lonely nights
If we can only remember the breathless shock, that sudden certainty that the eyes we gaze into could be our port in every storm, our deepest comfort and our own sweet joy reflected,
If we can only decide
Unequivocally
That the chance to be happy like that is worth the risk of losing it
We will not lose,
We will not fail.
The light in our eyes that burns for each other cannot go out
If every time we close them we reach for it.
I can't know anything, can't be sure I really have seen the future that I dearly wish for
But I can promise that every star I see
Every night
Everywhere on earth
Will bear your name to me like a wish, like a prayer.
I can say with certainty that its lilting melody will escape my lips unbidden
Every time I round a corner and see something that reminds me of you
And leave a smile there.
I can swear to you with every piece of me that you
Are in my skin
That once I've said the words "I love you",
They can never be undone.
What I'm saying is that if someday you choose to fade away
If even in our passion and sweetness and devotion
Life sweeps us out of each other's arms for a time
I will love you until the day I die.
I looked at you the other night and knew it suddenly
The way I always know.
I knew that if I live to be 100, I will forget my own name but remember your face,
And it made me so wrenchingly happy
And so gently sad, somehow.
Because I can't know.
I can't know if I will always be worth the risk,
If all of our efforts will pay off.
A hundred thousand things could change us and our world...
But I do know
Me.
I know me and I know that the biggest, most permanent gesture of love I can give you
Is to let every second I spend with you change me like it does
To let every touch you give me leave fingerprints
Mould me into something new and better.
I will open my doors to you
Every one
I will let you run your fingers along the dusty, light starved parts of me
I will lead you through the rooms of my heart I've kept locked away
A shrine to brokenness
And I will see you throw the curtains open and let the sunlight make them glow anew.
And that way whether your stay be forever
Or tragically brief
Everyone who ever meets me
Everyone who loves me or my art
Everyone who passes me on the street and thinks my smile is lovely
Will meet you
Will admire you
Will
Love
You
As well.
That is my gift to you
The best and most complete I have to give.
#love #passion #young #distance
Continue reading...
Robert Gretczko Oct 2016
words beget your choice
dainty and fluorescent is the mask of humility
forthwith we proclaim allegiance and sanctity
we need not ask to deeply... it is so
the answer will disarm what we all know

whether high in proximity to those under
all fall victim to charade and blunder
spoken philosophies and capricious sighs
we tuck ourselves tightly to fashion our lies

evermore ever present in common place
covered and covert we try to save face
why not give it, let all go its way
and cleanse ourselves thoroughly without delay

is it more profound a performance endured
when spectators stand around totally immured
grace falls just short of mendacities door
but wrenchingly it gropes for more and more

it is our chance and all in your power
to drench yourself in a righteous shower
whether kindness, good deeds or getting it straight
fact is... that is what most people call great
Continue reading...
Sweetheart Mar 2014
addicted
I think i'm addicted
no, not to drugs
not to alcohol
but to pain
not physical pain but emotional
i go through periods of high happiness
when i'm here
i want to feel sad
all i want is to cry and feel something
when he broke my heart
i liked crying
i didn't like being sad
but i liked crying
i don't know why
but i love that feeling
so gut wrenchingly sad
that your heart aches so bad
i love it and hate it at the same time
i'm addicted and can't be treated
Continue reading...
Emma Marke Jun 2014
The bracket series [part 2]
You know what is heart wrenchingly terrible?
Not the fact we don’t talk anymore
[Though I’ve gotten quite used to the silence]
Not the fact that your backseat will no longer look forward to my visits
[There’s nothing like skin against skin and fog against windows]
Not the fact that my sheets have slowly lost your scent
[I screamed at my mother for washing my sheets the Tuesday after you decided to leave]
Although all of those thoughts are horrible
The worst is
I’m forgetting the color of your eyes
Continue reading...
Michelle Paret Jul 2014
Dukkha
I feel every beat and moment as pain
Heart-wrenchingly, beautiful, euphoric pain
The sorrow feels almost refreshing

My soul is swimming inside me
Simultaneously building up while breaking down
Slowly contracting
Slowly expanding
Light and deep motions all at once
Harmonious
Moving in melody and rhythm
Inside me continues to contract and expand

When I exhale
I exhale deeper
My physicality only mirrors my experiencing soul of pain inside

This is what pain feels like
It is by far the most raw of a feeling
Identifying it as a feeling seems disrespectful
It is much greater
It is an experience
A spiritual
Mental
Auric experience
While killing it heals
#love #pain #beautiful #soul
Continue reading...
Di Nov 2011
To Write or Not to Write
I fill my soul, my heart, my head,
And then try, through my fingers,
To tame it, calm it, dilute it.
To take the raw and make it something less agonizing,
To hold, to clutch to myself, to weave into my skin,
I build a fire and hope it won’t burn all the way through me, and the floor as well.

There are the times when I revel in the glow.
And there are times when I consign myself to be nothing more than a pillar of ash,
Easily swept away by a passing brezze.
Yet to cease,
Is to unweave my core,
To let holes stretch,
Till I am more void then girl.
To never feel a blue so mesmerizing that its very existents taunts me to catch it on paper,
Never spend hours trapping butterfly wings on the tip of my pen.
Never see the subtle moments where life is gut wrenchingly, woefully, utterly, complete,
That fraction of a second where the sun breaks the clouds into a sea of many facetted pillars of amaranth , so tangible I second guess their existence, and turning back see that the sun has sunken beyond the horizon.
The instant where a man and his dog glance up in perfect unison, a single being with six legs, four eyes, and one heart.
A first flash of scarlet upon jade, the cherries hang ripe and inviting, tiny globes flashing from behind their leafy bower, as of yet untouched by bird or clumsy human hand.
And so I write.
Continue reading...
Robyn Jan 2015
Look in the mirror and believe that you are what I say you are
I love how I can see things in your eyes
There's the obvious blues
The silvers
All churned together like ethereal ice cream
So heart wrenchingly bright
Vacuums of cool space that **** the air from my lungs
Shimmering like the Pacific
But there's other things too
When we stand underneath the tree outside my window
Strung with golden Christmas lights
Drops of buttery sunlight on this cold, white marble
They pool in your eyes
Gold and silver coins at the bottom of a fountain
Not a ***** tile fixture in the mall food court
But the geometric bursting pools of the Louvre in Paris
Blue and slick and fresh
I can see feelings
When I stroke your face with my fingertips
I see smiles in your eyes
They match the pink smile of your lips
But I like all three best together
The TriForce of cuteness
I can see love in your eyes
They don't need to be open
I kiss your forehead and feel the furrows of your shutting lids meet my lips
I pull away and whisper I love yous until
You're squinting so hard I worry
But I run my thumb along your wrinkles
And you soften like clay
And your eyes open up
And they **** the air from my lungs
And you kiss it back into me
FIIINGERTIIIPS
Continue reading...
Lucky Queue Nov 2017
edgy
I live my life in troughs and peaks
I write 2 papers and shoot off 6 emails in a freshly cleaned room
I let the dishes sit for a week and can’t get up til after noon

My period used to be like this before I started the pill
Sporadic and long (or short) and inconvenient and gut-wrenchingly guilty

I think about my 3 papers due next week and how I want to sketch up my traumas
Instead I open a new document and type this
I procrastinate productively sometimes I guess
This is a trough
11.10.2017
Continue reading...
Chloe Elizabeth Nov 2014
Suddenly, You Wake Up
Sometimes, you get so caught up in a moment that you convince yourself that your life is supposed to turn out a certain way. You believe that these moments will define the rest of your life. When in reality, they are not your fate and you forget that before them, you were surviving. Suddenly, you wake up. What woke you up? Usually something gut-wrenchingly heartbreaking or the loss of something that, honestly, wasn't as great as you thought it was in the first place. For me, it was both. I fell asleep for far too long and woke up on a gloomy Wednesday night feeling empty. The person I loved as a young 17 year old girl was slipping out of my reach and I needed to let them go. I just needed to let them go.

By Chloe Elizabeth
Sometimes, letting go is the most unbearable decision that a person can make, but we all have to do it at some point
#love #sad #realization #moments #letgo
Continue reading...
Heidi Kalloo Aug 2014
Everything Relinquished for a Minute with My Dog
When I was young we ran together
faster than me but never
the less good fun
together
we
always together
and I would say this is forever you and me a team as
girl and dog should be
in rain sun moon and stars alike
together were we through hills and hikes
tired and hungry and happy
together
I remember the tears that
arrived at
the mere thought of
alone
I remember the knowing and
the waiting
but we were together you and me as
girl and dog should be
kept alive out of dumb love
flew from us at the first a
hand stroked multicolored fluff
and a long tongue lapped a cheek
eyes glassy and nose wet
at the thought of
together
a happy thought alone
but reality took
you away from me
and death did not come for me as it
should because hell
I was never really meant to be here in the first place
kept alive in the free flying years by
a bark and bated breath
the only thing in this world I
could never dream to live without
heart wrenchingly alone with nothing
as this nightmare passes in the
years and hours
no love anymore and nobody
I miss you
and there’s nobody who’d see as we
what girl and dog should be.
Continue reading...
Z Apr 2014
kind of love.
I have yet to find the kind of love that I’ve been searching for.
I’ve found someone who loved my sadness, someone who loved my bitchiness, and someone who loved my happiness…but I need to find someone who can love all of those things that compose me.
I need more than just one or the other.
I need full, accepting, gut-wrenchingly deep love,
that knocks me over and pounds me against the rocks like an ocean wave, before bringing me to rest on the soft, warm sand.
I need the kind of love that rages like a summer storm, with torrential rain, gutsy winds, and booming thunder, that ends in a rainbow.

I need the kind of love that takes my breath away.


But I don’t know if I’ll ever find it.
Continue reading...
Mikaila Feb 2015
tragically vicious
I will never get used to the way pettiness lives in the people I love, right along side their depth and beauty and tenderness. The people who write things that fill my heart up, whose thoughts glitter like ice in starlight, whose kindness cuts through the murk of everyday life like something divine... The same people... They are cruel. They are human. They are jealous, and insecure. They are defensive and rash. Those same exquisite, heart wrenchingly lovely people can be ugly, too- more ugly inside than others, just as they are more beautiful inside than others. Those same people can be... Tragically vicious.
I will never get used to it.
Continue reading...
seshi Dec 2016
Lingering
You didn't really leave when you died.

There's still that image of you in the back of my mind when I pass your favourite colour on the street.

There's still that uncomfortable silence after I say 'Hey' and I expect you to turn and ask 'what?' but it doesn't happen.

There's still the silence that creeps up against your parent's skin when they have to tell people they had a child and it takes a while for them to notice the past tense.

There's still an echo of your voice in my head where you you used to laugh about our inside jokes...but now they're just statements to me.

There's still that song you love and it still exists in your collection somewhere piled up in your wardrobe that is slowly fading away.

There's still that lingering memory of you when I pass by the place we met. Sometimes it's deliberate - other times, I pass by and break down in the corners of the street because I wasn't meant to see you there.

There's still that uncomfortable ache in my heart that you ripped out when I saw the yellowing of your papery skin in that decaying hospital bed.

There's still that one person who could've met you but instead will go on a lifetime meeting similar people but not quite the same as your wonderful and beautiful and heart wrenchingly perfect self.

There's still the first text you sent saved on my phone, and the fact that it will exist forever even if just in binary code drives me insane!

There's still the unfamiliar chill in your bedroom when I visit because the medication I've started taking since you left gets me a little more sentimental than normal but your parents still let me in to roam around because...they're just as numb as me.

There's still the family wondering forever if they could of done anything and the weight of their thoughts are heavier than the amount of earth we tilled to bury you.

There's still you in everything I do and I'll never get past it.
But, it's okay...
because soon, one friend, like I, will write a similar poem like this about me as I join you up in Heaven.

There's still the option to live, but I guess it left with you.
for He who has left, and for the Her I pushed so far to the edge she will never return to me
#love #life #sadness #death #memory
Continue reading...
Julian Delia Sep 2018
Thermonuclear
The bomb’s flash is blinding,
Brighter than any kind of lightning.
The enormity of the mushroom cloud is frightening;
A monstrosity both terrifying and grotesquely enlightening.

The eyelids instinctively board shut in fear;
Adrenal glands working overtime,
More in this moment than a whole year.

Yet, eyelids seem useless,
For the reality leaves one speechless.
In this moment, you will see an X-ray of your own vessels and bones.
It will feel like a ghastly omen, like the earth itself shakes and groans.

And then, the shockwave hits, gut-wrenchingly raw;
A fallout so powerful, it might break the bones you just saw.
A cataclysm of impossible energy, an apocalypse that ends in sheer awe.

The nuke –
Admired and feared from afar,
Trepidation come alive, a door to hell left ajar.
The symbol of being forever at war,
Apocalyptic nature in its demonic core.
Loved only by its makers,
Hated by most living on earth’s many acres,
Respected by all.
This is an extended metaphor, up to you to make the connection.

Special dedication to the Atomic Veteran Society.
#nuclear #war #explosion #****** #of #thineself
Continue reading...
neko-nae Aug 2017
day six
backwards progress
like the clock has lost
it's purpose &
decided to join the circus

**** it--

the effort has been perilous and i thought it would be alright just to hear your voice and feel your love and remember what we were working for but i'm stressed and nervous and what if i was wrong and we can't do this and it's just a solo road ahead until the landscape becomes smoother i just don't know--



i want to believe it's going to work out,
but i'm expending energy on it
that i don't have to expend worrying
when i dragged myself through
the grocery store after work and bought yarn,
the simplest of tasks
were the most soul-wrenchingly exhausting
& i want to go to bed--

is this what we need?
would you be better without me?
would i be better without you?
it hurts me to even ask
since i'd like to believe
i know what love feels like
but then maybe i'm not a good example--


there's this place
in my head far away,
my higher self lives there
in this magic forest,
Totoro and i could be kindred spirits
of thick, moist forest air
that rejuvenates the soul
just to smell the abundance,
the lust for everything & want for nothing--

i'd like to say things are getting easier


but i don't know much these days--
Spirals can be painful when you can't find the end.
#personal #confusion #hurt #love #space #selfdiscovery #selflove #selfcare #growinghurts #questions
Continue reading...
Briar Ownby-Connolly Feb 2018
black and white
It burns.
It burns as it rushes down my face;
And as it glides across my skin.
My pale, cold skin, that hasn’t seen the sun in months.
I’ve forgotten how it feels to have its warmth kiss my face,
It’s nearly identical in the ways I’ve forgotten you.

Oh, how it burns,
Warm and smooth in a cynically graceful approach.
Steaming with words I never said, never will say,
And still can’t, because it shakes my body so aggressively.

How it really, truly burns.
But don’t worry, it’s not painful.
Not in a knife cutting, sword stabbing, arm breaking kind of way.
Although I won’t deny it.

But rather, in a lustful, regretful, pitiful kind of way.
It’s the knowing that makes it hurt.
Knowing the reason why they fall,
Why they scorch trails of memories down my face.

Knowing the heart-wrenchingly obvious truth as to why they won’t stop.
And knowing that this could all be ended so easily,
Because, my old friend,
It’s you.

You are the reason.

And it burns even more forcefully
When I acknowledge that they fall down the same face,
And in the same place
I used to know your touch.
Continue reading...
Stacy Mills Nov 2016
Take a bow
Well ****,  I put my heart on my sleeve again, Dumb!
I put my heart on my sleeve again;
I shouldn't have done that, I know what's to come.
Here's another heart ache on its way.
Here's another heart ache come out to play.
**** it what's wrong with my brain?
Why is that ******* thing so hard to train?
I know better, constant giving makes me insane!
I don't know what to do next.
My mind is so very vexed.
But for now I think I will just trust.
Because my heart says I must.
N if you smash it as I'm sure you will,
At least my notebook with poems I'll fill.
Words of beauty, love, and hurt.
Of this I can assert.
Because out of the worst pain I feel,
come words that are soul wrenchingly real!
Ones that reach down to your soul!
Ones that make a life changing toll!
So Imma sit back n see what I do now!
And acknowledge whats real n take my bow
...........
Continue reading...
simo Aug 2017
boys or burdens
i broke my own heart just to see if it still works
it may be troubled but
its mostly torched
he said he'd burn his house down just to get me some warmth
he said he'd give me his heart
i asked "whats that worth?"

it all seems to have fallen again
i miss my home and i miss things ive never had
miss finding familiarity not so gut wrenchingly sad
how old do i have to get before i start to not feel so bad?

how long before my silence starts to feel less involuntary, before passion beats purpose
before i can love without excuses
before spiraling help a bit less
and when i agree before it depends

he said i love you so much but i cant deal with what youre going through
i said wow man, sorry i had to do that to you
next time you try to find something to hate me for
ill go head and let you ******* choose
when u dont know what write so u write about made up characters in ur head
#love #pain #break #up #depression #helpimgettingsadagain
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Becca Hopkins Feb 2016
To the poets who romanticize addiction:
There is nothing beautiful about dying before your time,
or a mother’s wailing because no sewing kit will ever provide the means to stitch up her broken heart,
there is nothing glamorous about a body writhing in pain as it’s gripped by the symptoms of withdrawal,
and there is nothing alluring about local cemeteries packed with fresh headstones with dates going back less than three decades.
Death is not flowery and symbolic, it’s heart-wrenchingly permanent.
#addiction #death #loss
Continue reading...
Rory MacLure Aug 2015
Blueprint
For let's be honest,
I am too close
and too far away from
the blueprint that you
wish for.
I know you
inside
and out
and so know that the boxes I tick
are not the bones you want to hold.
I know you to your soul and so know,
unfailingly
and heart wrenchingly
that I will
never
be the one who you will wake beside
and share that feeling,
that contact
when both people have woken but are yet
unwilling to speak.
Continue reading...
Ash Apr 2019
Impermanence
The only love gained is the loss of it.
You're still mine, but my spirit convicts you're not.
The only way to say it is to say it.
My hand grasps emptily for your heart while your fingers intertwine with mine.
We thirst for an unfathomable security.
We chase love, yet disappointedly grasp wind.
We heart-wrenchingly stumble for a name that dies with the breeze.
What's ours will never be ours, not even ourselves.
And yet we pierce our own vitreous hearts denying our inevitable scarcity
#life #death #gone #fade #love #heartbreak #loss #speak #words #heart
Continue reading...
Simpleton Nov 2016
Untitled
I'm gut wrenchingly sad
Soul shatteringly devastated
A silent storm drenching in abysmal
The black clouds have engulfed me
From head to toe
The depths of this despair
Pull me down
Suffocate my dreams
Continue reading...
Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2018
Golden Shore
We are flawed
We always have been
From the beginning
We lived in sin
Nothing we
Have done on this Earth
Can be credited
To our own will
And so we
Soulless wanderers
Continue in our
Own weaknessess
We betray
To death
The one being
Who cared
About our eternity
We spat in His face
And killed Him
In our sin
And by His grace
And He still
Saved us
This world is dark
It is war-ridden
And gut-wrenchingly
Sick
At it's best
This is not
Where we belong
We die
And fade
With each passing day
Illness
Wreaks havoc
Every day
And our sole hope
Is that one day
There will be rest
Worry not, oh wanderer
For He is coming
And quickly
To bring us Home
To the golden streets
And Gates of pearl
To the family we never knew
But always felt
And to the Eden
That our savior
Always wanted
For us
Despite
Our downfalls
"He wants then to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand, and if only the will to walk is really there, He is pleased even with their stumbles"
Continue reading...
Dennis Willis Sep 2019
Rough
This wiping
a hand rough to my face
ummph  it means what

I am mislead by skin
and i don't wish
it to stop

circling like hawks
bards reel in forgotten darkness
of don't care angst typing

her smile recedes pale dissolving into night
laughing at the comedy of manners
wrenchingly stupid judgments abound

glove their hosts and fix their mascara
unite the front of dubious choices
enforced by the disengenuos
Continue reading...
Mars Aug 2020
an open letter to, these poor castaway ******* on a rainy night
I remember your eyes the most.
It's so cliche. The eyes being the window to the soul,
eyes showing what you try to hide,
eyes are
what often give people away when they lie
you technically never lied to me.

but it almost makes me even more heart wrenchingly distressed when I come to the realization that
that was because you never made me any deep promises to begin with.
which, would have been sweeter
I already know, the pain more bitter, in the end,
But I think that I would hurt
for you.

I know I would
, because I've done it before.
and you know it too, Because we both were...into it.
I remember sitting in the Driver's seat kissing you, feeling so good to enjoy kissing someone again, feeling their hair, the feeling of lips to lips, lips to your neck and
nipping
around the collar bones

you looked at me like I was real.
and by that, I mean when we made
and
held eye contact,
I simply adored the assertiveness
I loved looking at
you.

sometimes,
in the grey mattered
shredded dawn
when the sky is wrecking havoc on these poor, addicted, hungry, castaway *******
it will sound crazy.

It really
will
I swear it to you

But I wonder if because I was so perpetually infatuated with your
entire
thing

maybe we somehow share telepathic thoughts,
like twins,
and you can tell that I'm thinking about you.

It's raining.

I'm not poor,
I plead the fifth as far as addicted goes
hungry?
this is a poem, I guess I'm hungry for.... the thrill of being attracted and enthralled with another human soul?
wow.

Anyway....
It's raining.
I wish you'd text me. I wish I'd hear from you. I wish things were,
different.

You touched a part of me that I don't think I can ever scrub off.
and what I'm hungry for, is more of that.
And I know you'd know what I mean.

God.
I'm so helpless.
</3
Continue reading...
robin Nov 2016
march muddied my boots
you loved me once
in a way not so readily understood
in a gut wrenchingly
passionately
mad
sort of way
in a riddle
hidden in between lips

like a secret
without a language, shared only
with saliva and in between silences
our tongues join together..
Like dandelion fuzz after a mornings mist.
in clumps we are intertwined
forever together
while destined
for opposite sides of the world.
we hold hands
as we walk through the fire
hands are cold dead
but your heart is beating strong in your chest
and your fingers feel warm and familiar running through my hair
like an old home, a nostalgic type of feeling.
your
skin it feels like December
you shiver
like a snake
I should’ve known
     I should’ve known.
how cold blooded you really were
but there is warmth all around us now
embers falling from the sky
refracted light
only it bounces off of you
and absorbs into me
im not gonna call you a monster
because  
I could have sworn you
were someone different
     when i looked up at the stars with you all those years ago
i want to believe that we never shared that tender moment
i want to forget
i want

the pain to seep out of my skin and into the soil around me
and grow flowers
i want to let my bones lay there in peace
as i slowly collect my
pride and dignity.

you loved me once in a unrequited not so easily understood
hand around your throat type of way
and I loved you with excuses to my friends and the nights filled with bonfires, kissing bottles to forget the pain.
I loved you with the sound of rain outside my window at 3am  
kissing the pavment
hard
smacking
passionate.
I loved you with tolerance and submission
kisses with fists
brusies blooming like spring blossoms
From every corner and inch of me
I was naive to ever think someone could be more then a stranger to you.
I am so angry for letting you hurt me
at you. but mostly myself
I am not sure if that part will ever go away.
but that tolerance I once had for the abuse I am learning for myself.
and
what we use to pretend was love
I will no longer.
Continue reading...

— The End —