I know a cloud means precipitation,
       male seahorses give birth
a bear goes into hibernation,
       and a train can reach 150mph

But how do I know if I still love you?

I’m not sure how we arrived here.
Nothing feels right.
The whole Universe is screaming.
I’m pleading your love
And I am empty.
I have nothing else to give but my love for you.
You’ve made promises to me, promises for a new life, a house, a marriage.
But we aren’t ready yet.
Will we ever be ready?
There are consequences to every choice.
I know the choice I’ve made, do you?
I chose you.
                                  You.

I want that You. to turn into Us.
I want you to want me the same.
When your fingertips trace my skin I lose all inhibition. Nothing matters in that moment but 
                                   You.

This is Us, and I’m pleading.

I'd melt into you if I could
Completely dissolve into your chest
Pass through your skin
Glide past your ribs
Reach your warm heart
Find myself a chasm
Between your tendinous chords
Where I would stay
Safe

every time our bodies become one
         I fall deeper into you
I wonder if I'll have anything left
         if you ever decide to leave
but for now I will melt into your organs
         and hope you'll stay

I hate that
no matter what you'd do to me,
I wouldn't have the will to leave.
I hate that
your touch scorches my skin
and leaves me aching for more.
I hate that
I'd give everything up for you
because I couldn't handle myself without you.
I hate that
you are welded into my heart
and I'd never be able to pry all of you out.
I hate that
I'm completely vulnerable to you
like a half dead animal in sight of a vulture.
I hate that
every fiber of my being screams,
"I love you".
I hate it because I am at your mercy,
and you can choose to stop loving me.
You're capable of leaving, I am not.

It's a strange feeling not wanting to be alive
But not wanting to be dead either.
Nothing matters,
Yet everything matters.
So you keep living.

I've given every part of me.
I've given my body to those who didn't deserve it.
I've given my time and energy just to be wasted.
I've given every ounce of love I could muster.

You may have set me on fire and burned me to ash, but I have come back stronger than I ever was before.