"overheats" poems
Abigail slides the glass door shut.
As beads of water percolate off her body
and land on the faux stone tile,
the smell of chlorine from her swim
and the smell of coffee from my brewing *** blend.
My uncle, Abigail's father, and my mother
are seated at the sticky, spilt soda kitchen table beside me.
"Go get ready for dinner," my mother's brother says, sending
Abigail's bikini'd frame through doorway and around the bend.
The brew idles, and I'm all porcelain and sugar substitute for a moment,
then back by my uncle and mother.
"Abigail has gotten so thin," my mother says.
"Is she eating?" my mother asks.
"I know it's tough for girls her age. When they're looking to marry," my mother says.
I want to bash the smoking cup into her face.
My uncle says she's been training for a marathon.
My neurons get tidy and taper off.
So, it's out of the kitchen and into an empty living room
to park my *** on an empty piano bench.
I set the coffee on top, and press eight of my fingers down
on black keys.
I hear toes-to-heels, toes-to-heels.
I gaze over my shoulder.
Now, Abigail's in a black, black dress. Mid-thigh.
In her left hand,
red fuck-me-shoes with a heel that could turn a curious man blind;
in her right hand,
black pantyhose and cherry lipgloss.
"You should have swam," Abigail delivers with hushed precision,
like she'd been reciting the line throughout the duration of her swim.
Abigail has long brunette hair,
and it's sticking to her neck.
Deep permanent dimples frame her lips.
She's a nurse in Waco.
Each time I see her, I think about
Bukowski's 103-pound "Texan".
It makes me rash, violent, a heady monstrosity,
and trembling sick.
"I forgot my trunks."
"That's no excuse."
I would respond, but she's sliding the hose up her leg.
In the living room.
While my uncle talks a second mortgage around the bend.
Her right leg crosses her left,
an overpass and an interstate.
My forehead overheats in a flash,
and I feel like she's staring back at me.
When my leering eyes shift from
her toes to her eyes, the pupils beckon:
"All roads lead to me."
Jun 18, 2012
Jun 18, 2012 at 12:48 AM UTC
dad is in the garage.
days into spark-light and piles of polyethylene
etched.
soon, he says.
as grandaddy laughs,
rattling the icebox for more beer.
dad’s homemade android:
the thing.
like a doll polished
& grinning, it
dances for us in the kitchen.
the dog barks, chained in the backyard.
the thing,
do-si-dos for a laugh, catches a glimpse
of the trees beyond the yard,
overheats,
circuits popping into a limp heap of pieces.
dead.
left to mold-over in the garage.
the days.
the rain.
the cats tiptoeing along the edge of fences
across the street.
the dog barking, chained, &
snapped.
dead
beneath a truck.
dad is in hysterics.
dad is in the garage,
weeks in and his soaked red knuckles.
mom is drinking with grandaddy.
they rattle the icebox.
the dog.
the dog dances for us in the kitchen,
reboots and sits.
it digs a pit all night and buries three cats there.
it sleeps on the mound.
it never barks.
it waits there in the backyard, still
& staring into the trees.
the trees.
Oct 17, 2015
Oct 17, 2015 at 7:17 AM UTC
They built me, standard-grade,
But with one crucial chip missing.
While other models are made
Programmed for social networking.
Laughter and jibes, except
This variant groping in the dark.
Much signs to intercept,
Machine simmers, overheats, sparks.
Every version upgrade,
Alas, still just one step behind.
Patience in every trade;
Stranger, if you could be so kind...
Apr 14, 2017
Apr 14, 2017 at 6:19 AM UTC
i always knew i would never be
"girlfriend material"
maybe the gods forgot to cut me carefully from the same cloth they doted out to everybody else
a thicker and more claustrophobic material
one that overheats and suffocates you
my mouth is a forest fire that ignites at the first sight of thunder ahead
other people use their words to heal and comfort their significant other while i'd always had a natural disposition of wielding my tongue as a freshly sharpened knife
i wanted to learn
i wanted to teach myself that in order to be in a relationship you have to treat the hardships like delicately gauzed wounds
changing them out every few hours and applying ointments to soothe and mend the broken flesh
but i don't know if it's because of my mother
who was never very nurturing
taking emotional withdrawals from me throughout my entire childhood
teaching me to cultivate my isolation and find comfort in my loneliness
i'd see the signs of her packing up her bags and departing from a mile away and the only survival method i knew was to let her go before she let me go, again
and again
and again
and again
i tried to mend myself for you
to be less broken down for you
i promised myself i'd be healthier and fight my depression like a true viking at battle
i knew i was never girlfriend material
i don't have the patience or understanding to learn how to nurture wounds
my natural instinct has always been to throw salt in them
to slit my throat and slit my throat and slit my throat until i bled out all of you entirely
it's not that i never knew how to love
but that i never knew how to love properly
caring too much and showing too little
displaying my fear of losing you with an anger that destroys everything in my path
instead of affection and vulnerability
my lovers never know if i love them
i display my feelings in watered down sentiments that take shape in the way i allow my body to mold into theirs under bedsheets
the love i carry though, suffocates me
it drowns my internal organs
and floods the entirety of my body
leaving me speechless and incapable of articulating how i feel or why i feel the way that i do
in turn i appear cold to the touch
and that is how i knew i was never girlfriend material
i want to lay down on train tracks and sacrifice my body
again
and
again
until i get it right
but i fear it only leaves me in poorer condition than the last
i'm sorry i don't know how to love you properly
i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
you see, i'm just not "girlfriend material"
Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014 at 1:01 AM UTC
She hates that she is spineless:
Starved of strength
Emancipated.
She hates that she is passive:
She has two legs
But cannot stand for anything
When faced with a loud voice
And menacing words
That threaten the tranquility of her dream-world;
The dream-world
Where conflict is banned
And people always have the best intentions
Because in essence man is good.
She hates that
When faced with a thousand possibilities
Tensions rise
And gears stick
Creak
Metal on metal
Straining
Pushing
As she tries not to succumb to her nature
But in spite of it all
Her head overheats
And she overloads
The perpetual screaming kettle, *** boiling over, and volcanic eruption
All in one
Tiny salted droplets of shame
Race down flushed and swollen cheeks
As her mental fists
Painstakingly punch her essence
Into action
Fueling a transformation with
"Inadequate"
"Failure"
And
"Lazy"
A transformation
That never sticks:
At least not as well as
Her lack of faith in herself.
Sep 3, 2014
Sep 3, 2014 at 1:46 AM UTC
step right up to this broken machine
she'll take anyone
look at this queen
she's shiny and new with smiles so bright
every step she takes is light
her colours are more than a rainbow can boast
she has more than any
she has the most
they drift in the wind and fall from her fingers
her joy is infectious
she's contentment's dead ringer
this machine never stops
that's why its so popular
people will travel far
there is no other
none so dedicated to her job as this
she's a volunteer so surely she loves it
but a crisis strikes every once in a while
the machine won't admit it, she's in denial
but her colour store is personally supplied
if she told you it's abundant, surely she lied
this machine has colours she enjoys sparing
but to spend her whole life as this machine is daring
machines must be turned off
must be unplugged
this machine never does because help is her drug
she goes and she goes until she overheats
her colours start melting
they run through the streets
these runaway colours are scooped up and scrounged
meanwhile the machine is left on the ground
she rusts while it rains, there on the ground
no regard for the girl whose rainbow
seems to be gone
look how she lays so
curled up and crying but not from her loss
crying because her aid is the cost
with no regard for herself she whispers
"if I take a break, look at who suffers"
but the rainbow too must be regrown
it can only take time and care and sweet tones
encouraging words to let her know
she's not alone, she will never be thrown
from this world with contempt
because love exists
but love may not always come to you free
sometimes there is just one fee
it isn't much... just to ask
Jan 19, 2017
Jan 19, 2017 at 9:40 PM UTC
Don't say you love me.
I have a hard time
accepting those words.
Like they are foreign and
do not translate into my
native tongue.
Don't look at me
with such kind eyes.
It burns my skin and
overheats me.
Like sun rays on
newly exposed flesh.
Don't hold me so tenderly.
My body can't handle
the pain of your gentleness.
It has been conditioned
to the harshness of humanity
And may break apart if
handled any other way.
Don't leave me.
I know I am difficult,
closed off and crazy.
Truly a complicated puzzle
to piece together.
But I promise I am
worth it.
Jun 22, 2016
Jun 22, 2016 at 7:29 AM UTC
I've hit "F5"
waited in line
for this wave to crash and burn ---
Just to get a drink.
feel dry, but not yet parched
i see waves in the heat;
need a moment;
need to breathe.
its too dry...
my mouth begs for a cool splash,
the engine overheats,
I'm stuck wondering
[is it 120 degrees?]
a suburban village
a hum and stream of cashflow...
leaking through unsettled buildings
and cracked doors....
only my feet have begun to feel a sensation of cool
as shade from the trees...
bakes away
i need the rain to make the area
bearable, wonderful
and breathable.
maybe the summer should hit "F5"
and let it rain so maybe
a sense of refreshment
can take over and soothe the panic
of those who cant access the "WWW"
to work,play,
and feel as if the summer from hell
has made its stay short,
so we may 'Fall'
and the screens we look through Re-Fresh.
Jul 9, 2012
Jul 9, 2012 at 12:18 AM UTC
There is no fail-safe.
The heart wants,
What it wants,
And oh, I am miles from safety, now.
No going back.
There is no mechanism in the heart,
To bring it down if it overheats,
To bring it down at all, darling,
(But would you want to?
Don’t you like it when I make you heat up?
Bubble over...?)
I suppose what I’m saying is this:
Remember when people didn’t know you should only heat oil in a deep fat fryer?
We would put hot oil in pots and pans and we would leave it there because,
Human beings have a tendency to be distracted?
And the oil would get far too hot and catch fire,
And we’d try to put it out with water,
But because of the oil it sinks and expands and makes the oil shoot out of the pan in a fireball,
And consume the kitchen in flames,
But,
Isn’t that love?
May 26, 2019
May 26, 2019 at 10:50 PM UTC
I love the English springtime:
the lambs that gambol
in the sprouting grass,
and budding flowers
that spread their scent.
But oh . . . !
I hate the sneezes
and the running nose
and streaming eyes
of allergies
in English springtime.
I love our English summer
that warms but rarely
overheats my thirsting
body. And I love
its cooling breezes.
But oh . . . !
I hate those wasps
that buzz around
my honey-covered toast
at breakfast-time outdoors
in English summers.
I love the English autumn.
The russets and the golds
that tease my eye;
the orchards and their
apple scent.
But oh . . . !
I hate that mud
that ***** my walking boots
from off my feet
on country rambles
in English autumns.
And then the English winter
that never can decide
which of the seasons
it most likes to emulate.
But oh . . . !
Thank god there are no wasps!
Nov 23, 2014
Nov 23, 2014 at 4:23 PM UTC
I used to see cars individually
not as parts but the people inside
those people would be driving around me
and we’d wave to each other
while navigating clear roads
I would recognize their car
out of familiarity
the city has grown since then
I don’t recognize cars anymore
just brands and colors
creating the traffic jam in front of me
as my engine overheats.
Apr 27, 2021
Apr 27, 2021 at 8:16 PM UTC
the sweat cools
where the body overheats
in sudden wakefulness
within the dead of night
no sounds but the heavy breathing
of a startled form beneath the covers
momentarily dazed, unaware of the surroundings
in which it finds itself
eyes shut, it all comes back again
those lucid pictures, vivid sounds
where insects crawl beneath the skin
and one drowns on land
the fault was singular, of course,
a suicide in a fake landscape
a poor show of emotion
where no one may judge
quite often it would happen
in painless reality
where red stains white and
black beats blue
Apr 29, 2015
Apr 29, 2015 at 9:13 AM UTC
My melodious fire
Waves and weaves
Making a ****** of wood
Delivering a birth of smoke
Those swirling cinders choking
Everything in sight
Breathing in one of death’s contagions
One by one they fall
Until there’s no call to order
Until there’s none left to perform for
The mob grew angry.
My wrists, my ankles
Chained now with briars
This an execution by my own desire
For I required an exit light here
Unclear liar lost in his lies here
Fear-shaken, no stakes in truth,
Fear-faking, I have no stake in you
So I pull up stakes
See you.
I have no clue what I’m going to do
I get lost in myself
But in myself I have yet to choose
These paradoxes and riddles
That plague and peeve my mind
Deceive me as I deceive them
Till we’re all left deceiving in kind
Till the other becomes the self
And the self melts away from being the better
Cluttered with curses from the past
This incompatible software overheats
Crashes fast
And now we’re back—
Fire.
I was once blind to such simple facts
Broken, silly tracks of thought off-track
Lines left carved up in the sand
The next day wiped away
By nature’s erasure or another’s hand
It is sand after all...
But I gave up a pair
Received my true third eye
It's blind to these facts
The grains look all turned up and twisted
Spilling from my clenched fist
Like they’re seconds in my hourglass
So, my fellow pair-holders, I ask
Why take a second to grasp
So that a second in turn is given?
I see no bargain driven
Just a reality
In which
If you're livin’ happily, serenely
You must be trippin’
Sep 19, 2017
Sep 19, 2017 at 4:47 AM UTC
night/night
time/time
night overheats
wet awake, damp is the status:
mystery no more, familiarity brings unsurprise,
the machine issues environmental sounds,
cool air, deep cover, setup ~ perfect
wake up soaked/mystified/drizzled unhappy/awake to change/
meaning comes
/pieces of randome thoughts/movie trailer bite sized/
these are:
sweating words/eager for realization/escape needy/impatiented
by foible human/who needs sleep? is the unasked question...
dress for winter, may I? in May?????/!!!!! /!\
~change to summery
"ACTIVE WEAR" at-tire<>
skin expose<>
AM I NOT ACTIVE?
thus this oddity poem/product of sweat/
provides cooling panting/dog?
am I a dog?
that would be nice!
sadly or nat~not, a human
o verfilled / o verflowing
tale telling from evrey pore/ Alcatraz escape/ recaptured/twisted
d a m p
became a poem/d a m p is me
becoming/ reducing/emitting/inquiring/
enquiring/
aligned
will this be my last poem?
sweating with/from/AND
all the way over to............................................................Anticipation...
Apr 19, 2025
Apr 19, 2025 at 2:23 PM UTC
A mind racing through the street, In the seat next to me making worries obsolete
My chest overheats when you held my hand, feelings unplanned suddenly lost where I stand
Stuck in quicksand when we lay close, kissing your nose a smile collectively grows
No one knows why the daisy chose to be yellow, but like a lions bellow you had me at hello
Sep 24, 2018
Sep 24, 2018 at 10:30 PM UTC