Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Brie Dec 2014
Why does it seem that they all want a Nicki they can minaj
A bad girl who can only fit custom made bras
Not the good girl with the
Small waist and good grades
Small bust
And pushed to a very small sense of trust

Confident,
I don't think she ever was

She just wants to be seen as attractive
I mean why does Nicki get praised for things she wasn't even born with
 and to care that she has a beautiful voice as a gift, as if

Why don't they want the girl who doesn't care if they lift
She's wants your time
Not your money
You can keep your expensive gifts

The way we are now
It's truly a shame

And what about the girl with the body and the brains
She's trying to get an education
Make her own way
She's not trying to collect when you decide to make it rain
So take back your pennies  
Because society's the only one that really needs the change
Abigail Shaw Aug 2015
You say you’re a ‘boss’, does that mean that I’m God, next,
Time you mess with me you’ll see I have a God complex,
Whatever, I mean this rap’s getting complex,
My effects, they perplex, my ego’s getting convex,
I could say that I’m strawberries but I’m much more like lime,
Acrid, like acid, I rhyme, I’ll keep my clothes on that’s fine,
Your sexisms pasts it’s prime, Gatsby’s acts aren’t fine,
Calling me out is a crime since you’re completely irrelevant,
The orders are mine, YOU strip but you best make it elegant,
I can take off my clothes for fun and still be ******* intelligent,
Dodging your blows, fo’ sho, street talk but still make it eloquent,
I might be teeth, ****, toes but lets make one thing clear,
The only head you’ll be getting is off the top of your beer.
Anna Jan 2015
My dad says that my generation lacks common sense,
but millennials are well on our way to being
the most educated generation
ever.

We're demonized for idolizing Beyonce' and Nicki Minaj,
but wasn't the generation before us
obsessed with a ******-addicted cynic
who did nothing to improve the world?

The number of people with
eating disorders,
depression,
and anxiety
are higher than they've ever been.
But lord forbid we take a ******* selfie
and love ourselves for that brief moment.

My generation may not be perfect,
but old people's complaints about us
are getting really old.
After all, they're the ones
that ****** everything up for us
in the first place.
baby boomers and gen x's are the ones with the real problems tbh
Nicki Tilston Jun 2015
The girl with the kite
Didn't have a care
She'd run on the beach
With the wind in her hair
She'd run up hills
Lie in fields of wild flowers
Gazing at the ever changing sky
She would dream for hours

The girl with the kite
Saw faces in the sky
Angels looking down on her
From clouds floating by
She'd hold on so tight
As her kite took flight
She said she'd never let go
Of her beautiful kite

The girl with the kite
Would make daisy chains
She'd pick clover and butter cups
As she walked country lanes
Life was simple
Or it seemed that way
The sun was always shining
When she went out to play

The girl with the kite
Started to grow
She felt under pressure
To let her kite go
Demands were made
For her to achieve and perform
Make her way in the world
Please other people and conform

The girl with the kite
Felt things were going wrong
It was hard growing up
Then a man came along
He played his guitar
He brought a bouquet
As he sang his sweet song
Her kite drifted away

The girl with the kite
Heard his sweet song turn sour
His true colours were shown
As the man used his power,
Manipulation and aggression
To clip her wings
To crush her spirit
To pull her strings

The girl with the kite
Felt she was to blame
For her bad choices
She hid her shame
Kept her sadness a secret
Tried to make things right
Trapped in her world
She lost her self in the fight

The girl with the kite
Wanted to die
She couldn't live any more
She had no kite to fly
She went to the Doctor
Who gave her some pills
They just made her numb
Didn't cure her ills

The girl with the kite
Slept for a decade, or more
Life went on around her
Each day was a chore
She had to wake from the inertia
She had become bereft
When she woke from the dark sleep
She had nothing left

The girl with the kite
Had to start anew
Like a Phoenix from the ashes
She knew she'd pull through
She's found her kite
Found a beach for it to blow
Up to the angels on their clouds
This time, she won't let go

The girl with the kite
Is now a woman, strong and proud
Content to live her life alone
Independent and unbowed
She flies her kite sedately
Life is not a race
She's free to fly it when she wants to
It flies at her own pace

Nicki Tilston.
Butch Decatoria Jan 2019
I remember when MTV was in its prime,
A new voice to represent the new boom
Babies growing up since the 80s
Louder still through the troubling decades
(Maxed out credit no head room)
After —the punks in nirvana and rapping clergy
It was the only channel on
Youthful rebel yell —honest news
I remember it pretty well
Shaping us generation x y and Personal Jesus
New wave good bye to when
Childhood then without pain of malnourished
Africa or nukes threatening our
Cruel summers
Were we happier then?
So what happens to the music
Rockstars rip van wrinkle
Geriatric hall of fame

(No one lives forever
Reruns with the ****** & mr. Ed
Now that old neighbor’s dead)

Television
Nowadays
Seem more gangster
School shootings terrorists
On the train, kamikaze planes,
It’s all the same ole
Bling kablam oh bits
******* please
Redirecting our attention
To WMD
***
Where the hells are we?

I remember back then
On MTV —Nicki Minaj says
Between the hysterics of police brutality
She said Happiness is living your life
Without struggle,
That stuck with me
Because we all watch the tube
We all search for meaning
Sadly defining what happiness
May look like
Real World and paradoxical reality
TV
Para socially defunct
Clarity
Conditioned to continuously
Stay tuned
Brief message of empty
Hypnosis a pure form of business
Wall Street
Boulevard of broken dreams
I want my

Happy. What do I mean
To be?
Life ***** lately
The human condition
Talking too much
Refusing to see
No more talking heads too much
Bla bla *******
I want my
MTV . Happy .
My generation
We are the world
freedom And yes, Peace.

Man kindly as one
Symphony
And street, a melting ***
Of diversity

I remember the music
The future
I had hope to see
Behind the shades
Circa 80s 90s
(Fossils)
What time is it then?
When will we
Begin
Again

Don’t worry be happy
Run Forest run!
White Mocha Aug 2015
I like cake,
So make it shake,
She like drake,
But with a snake.
Daily Fire
Robbie Jul 2013
Note: This is a spoken word poem. Read aloud for best affect. Poem will read with a natural flow.*

Remember back when beauty was that little yellow flower?
And nobody picked it because they were afraid that the color would fade
So they just sat
And they stared
Silent
In awe
For hours at a time
The way that today I look at my reflection
But the awe has turned to agony
And I look in my eyes, and recoil
What used to be “Just fine” now causes inner turmoil
Isn’t that sad?
That flower got picked from its window box in the schoolyard
And just like we expected, life for it got hard
The flower scarred
Its pain written out on every single petal
And the petals, they faded
Like now natural beauty has become overrated
As the flower sits in a bouquet of hybrid roses
And those roses have thorns
Thorns that ***** and sting and poke
Like when you say, “Aw, c’mon, it was just a joke”
To that girl you called ugly ‘cause she dyed her hair and got braces
Trying to fit in with all the other faces
Isn’t that what society wants from us today?
To change and rearrange what God gave us
To fill ourselves with plastic because, according to the famous ones
That’s what makes life so fantastic
And Barbie isn’t our role model because she’s smart
Not ‘cause she’s a doctor and a vet and a scientist and probably a professor in art
But because she’s skinny
And if you put her proportions on a real girl
That girl would be in a hospital
Fighting anorexia while she gets another implant
Today it feels like we don’t stand a chance
Because they tell you that if you wanna make an impression
Just forget that yellow flower
And now, with every waking hour
I think about how I could be taller
Or have prettier hair
Maybe if I dyed it black or red or blonde then everyone would care
Maybe none of them would stare
Maybe I could finally live my life
Without everyone waiting to see if I can finally live up to the expectations
Because I can’t
I look in that mirror wondering if I can see what everyone else is wanting
Because once upon a time
I thought I was fine
I thought short hair was spunky
And dark eyes were lovely
It’s like I’ve been living a lie
Like Christmas time when you finally ask Mommy if Santa is fake
And she hesitates
And then she tells you yes
So I stare for hours and hours
I’m just like that flower
Now I’m broken and I’m plain
When did beauty become a game?
What’s ugly is the way kids hate themselves now
‘Cause of what the TV is telling us now
That we all need to learn how
To look like everyone else
Hate to burst your bubble that I can’t look like Paris or Nicki
(Spoiler alert: They’re fake)
Not unless you want me
Destroying myself
Because I refuse to be like everyone else
I just wanna get rid of the shame
That makes me blame myself for not being “pretty enough”
I just wanna be that flower
Whose beauty was natural and everyone watched for hours
Not needing to compare themselves to it
Because they all looked just as beautiful
And they knew it
So maybe some of us who are still sane, we can make a change
Show the next generation that beauty isn’t in what you gain
It’s when you remain the same
And maybe I can look in that mirror
Without any fear
And actually smile
And sit there awhile
And find beauty without a search
Maybe then there wouldn’t be so much hurt
Like when we see that yellow flower
Petals stretched toward the sun
Then we will know our job is done
And we have finally won
Obama Bin Laden Aug 2012
Stupid infidel!
Transport your riches
To the lands of the believers.
For petroleum...
To make
The cellophane wrapper
That you will throw away,
When you buy a new mobile,
Even though your old one still works,
And you eat your mcdonalds,
And listen to Nicki Minaj
Infidel *****!
And drive in gas guzzle car,
As you throw the cellophane out window,
And sext your girlfriend.
And crash your car into telephone pole.
Wasting your life!
Mike Hauser Sep 2021
Nicki Minaj just woke up
And has the woke train clearly enraged
When all she said was use your head
And any decision you make to pray

Stepping out of bounds, riling up the crowd
Talk about crowd control
Everything  is fine as long as you walk the line
Sending out the dogs the minute you don't

If you disagree with the powers that be
The enemy you quickly become
So stay in your box along with your thoughts
The better you're kept with less oxygen

Go back to your rap and we'll call it a wrap
When you learn to accept what we say to do
Although we are bias when it comes to science
The science that says what we want it to

So be a good Nicki and stay looking pretty
Don't be so silly using your brain
Just put on your makeup and don't really wake up
Or utter a word about this again
Ariel Leann Feb 2014
Just wanted to give a shout- out to my best friend,Nicki Paige. I have taken her under my wing, and she has become my protege' . Please check her out, follow her, and like her stuff. It's pretty good. Her name on here is Nicki Paige.
She has came along way, everybody deserves praise for their amazing work!
Nicki Tilston Nov 2015
I’m singing the blues
Saying good bye to my shoes
The red patent high heels
With the shine that appeals
The shoes that made me feel hot
Whether I looked it or not
Made me walk with a wiggle
Made my back side jiggle
Gave me a **** demeanour
Made my legs feel leaner
Helped me walk tall
On the days I felt small
The same red shoes, so sweet
That are now tight on my feet
Which squash my big toe
And somehow, they know
That I’ve got dickie knees
So I’ll never wear skis
Not to mention arthritic hips
Which cause a total eclipse
When I bend over
And moreover
I walk just like I’ve got off my horse
So I’ve got to bid farewell, of course
Part company with my lovely red shoes
That is why I’m singing the blues
…..They should sell on ebay pretty quick
….. I’ll spend the money on a walking stick

©Nicki Tilston
Dougie Simps Mar 2016
Look I know girls love Rihanna,
Have an attitude like Nicki
Woke up like Beyoncé
Then hit the gram in they Vickis
These days it's hard to meet women
All have a problem with commitment
Too busy touching another mans pigment
Thinking it's love but it's figment...
I'm scared to let somebody in on this
No new friends
Ohh, oh oh
You know how this all goes
Late night sexting on the phone
Independent but hates being alone
A new man every night
The type of behavior that she cannot condone

Hold on,

Girl, Talk to me, talk to me
Those sweet nothings help me listen
Look at her body coming close
Temptation breaks her resistances
Look at her, what is she missing?
She's missing slow morning kisses
Mh
A man who finds her favorite position
Mh
Then goes deep with her permission
Yeah
Hm
Say my name, say my name
Those other women were practice
Hop up on me and take action
Those thighs are fantastic
Kiss my lips with your disaster...
Make my heart beat faster...
Then whisper to me after...
Tell me how you love, love our traction
I mean attraction
Baby, Are we just acting?
Cause this the ****** of your movie
Let it slow play, and just take action
She starts biting and scratching
Breath hesitating as she's gasping
She's screaming and tells me to lunge
I'm moving in sync with the music
She said she's ready to come,
Come all the way back down
Her body was so high and numb
Cause she's addicted to the pleasure
And in love with the fun...

The fun of losing her mind in the ectasy of a moment
Where pretty girls claim that their picky but puts it down to any man with roses
I'm not saying that I'm right
I'm not saying that I'm wrong
I'm just saying you're queen girl
Treat yourself like one
If *** was a weapon it would go right for the heart
It would manipulate the brain
It would be a fatal scare
So, I Know girls love Rihanna
And wanna body like Nicki
I'm just saying make a man earn it
Don't give it up just so quickly
Keep your morals held strong
And your respect held high
Stop messing around with these boys
When your heart needs maturity
And soul needs a good guy.

~love~
Respect yourself
Nicki Tilston Jun 2015
A faded photograph
Hangs on the wall
Evoking memories
Of times gone before
Transporting me back
To younger days
Of innocence and dreams
Of simpler ways

Those vintage times
When life was fun
With skies of blue
Endless days in the sun
Carefree years
Of summer wine
Status Quo on the record player
Singing Sweet Caroline

"Every Sha la la la
Every wo wo wo still shines.."
Why can I still remember
All the lines
Of those songs played
Oh, so long ago
Across the waves
Of my radio?

"I think I love you
Isn't that what I'm afraid of?.."
Lyrics never forgotten
45 rpm statements of love
Radio Luxembourg playing
Hidden under the covers
With melodies about life
Betrayal and lovers

"You're the best thing
That ever happened to me..."
Nothing learnt in school recalled
So well as lyrics from '73
Dancing Queen was another
Vinyl classic joining the mix
To enter my subconscious
In 1976

I glance in the mirror
Expecting to see
A reflection of the girl
Who used to be me
Someone carefree
Someone bold
Instead, I see an image
Of a woman growing old

The years have flown
For this troubled soul
Who's lived a life
Which has taken it's toll
The eyes are tired
The hair's turning grey
The heart's battered with scars
The wrinkles here to stay

Then I think of those songs
From the days of my youth
Considered classic gems
Now I'm long in the tooth
They're still being played
Still giving pleasure
Just like the old girl in the mirror
They're vintage treasure

Nicki Tilston.
Ottis Blades May 2013
What are they to do with their hands if they no longer care?
if they would rather take an iPad over fresh air?

If it’s auto-correct teaching them how to spell words?
when raising your child: is Nicki Minaj doing a better job?

It’s because they now live in that neon-green X-Box glow
blasting strangers from all walks of life online playing Halo.

While Smokey the Bear goes around lighting matches
there are no more sandwiches left in our pic-a-nic baskets.

It’s the Kids!

Because the only toboggan they go through is YouTube
because there are no such things as books in Facebook.

Because it’s behind a shiny screen their ingenuity goes to waste
because it’s the equivalent of dropping Simba on his face.

So lets just Skype instead of meeting up and going for a walk!
140 characters or less to dictate the way we communicate and talk!

Because Clark Kent is not Superman unless his Twitter feed is verified
and behind close doors there's no room to grow a child’s mind.
Kay P Jul 2014
My palms sweat when I think of writing you a poem

Writing has been the only way
I could communicate with others
you see,
when it comes to my emotions
my mouth might as well be duct-taped
and in fact the only way I can write this now
is because I can tell myself you'll never see it

I'm confused.

Circumstances half under my control
has resulted in making me
the co-creator of my own kryptonite
see, what happened was partially my fault
and I can't escape the guilt that I made trying to escape it in the first place
see sometimes trying your hardest not to lead someone on
leads them on anyway
and I don't want to do that to you
I don't want to do that to anyone

See this poem doesn't even rhyme.

Not a lot of mine do, though,
And see listening to Drake tends to make me honest
and listening to Nicki Minaj makes me brave
and the combination of that with Angel Haze
is a cocktail that might just get me drunk enough
to lay my head on your shoulder again

I think I'm falling in love with you

But you should know my personality
means that I'm doing it kicking and screaming
searching my damnedest for an escape route
because being vulnerable hurts me every time
even the ones that promised they wouldn't
and I do it to myself, but
I trust you
And honestly that scares me more than it should

I'm not afraid of ******* it up
if that were all it was you'd find me on your doorstep
with my heart in my palms and blood dripping on the concrete
but the thought of how happy you would make me
of how temporary everything is despite our best efforts
the chance that I could lose everything in a single swoop
is more terrifying than wandering alone through dark paths
more terrifying than a deep voice from the empty space beside my ear
more terrifying than a letting down my guard little by little
just to get stabbed in the back
July 25th, 2014
Nicki Tilston Jun 2015
At the back of the cupboard
I skulk
You don't need me any more
So I sulk
Discarded and alone
Getting dusty
Hardly used any more
Smelling musty

There was a time long ago
When you loved me
You showed me off
When you made your friend's tea
You used to wash me and dry me
Make me feel smug
Now you've replaced me
With a tea bag in a mug

But today might be
My lucky day
I hear your Mother's
On her way
I know how fussy she can be
I know she'll insist
On a proper *** of tea
She'll turn up her nose
At your common mug
She'll want a nice tea ***
And a china cup
With some milk
From a proper milk jug

Nicki Tilston
Brian Payamps Sep 2015
Dear Amber Rose,

El pueblo unido jamas sera vensido.
(A city united would never be beaten)
"Half naked and I'm still not asking for it" - some crazy chick

Poem begins:
You are preaching women empowerment.
Dress how you dress make your self feel ****
Even it means wear nothing while walking in the streets.
I get the motive of your movement **** Walk I guess that's what we should be teaching our daughters.
But if you're dancing on that ***** pole now that's a different story.
Tell us how many ***** you had to **** to make it to the glory.
Hard to preach to a generation that glorifies strippers and undermines knowledge.
I am so pro women but **** like **** Walk and so on are the reason we are separated
men and women segregated.
Your biggest concern is what next party you are hosting, while these young girls are all confused about their bodies getting liposuction.
Trying to be you
Trying to be you
But why? when even Wiz Kalifa depicted you as an object and didn't glorify.
***** is power between the right pair of legs.
Tell us how many motel sheets have you gotten wet.
Such a shame our ancestors probably turning in their graves. Lauryn Hill wasn't naked and sold more then Nicki, Iggy, and Kim combined.
The real definition of a role model
Guess that's why you differ
Since you're a *** model.
To ***** licious to be a runway model.
But perfect for the *** shot I want to spray up in your mouth model.
Then go kiss your son with the same lips you rocked the mic model.
Women rights is not about a dress code.
Is so much deeper but what can be expected from a stripper.

El pueblo unido jamas sera vensido.
(A city united would never be beaten).
El pueblo unido jamas sera vensido.
(A city united would never be beaten)

Sincerely,
A concerned father
I believe men and women should be considered as equals buy history has proven me wrong. There's a way to go about this fight and way way deeper than clothes and what women wear. Is what you call yourself and what you represent and how you represent it. I'm a victim of a single parent house hold and my mother never ever had to undress or degrade herself for dollars. I was born in the wrong generation this is ridiculous on how we look up to these people who really don't do anything for you. All fights and not fought fair but always fought right. Women died for this cause.
"I have to be a G till the day that I die.........."
Listen to the hook you didn't have to be a G
you could be a Crip, Vice Lord or a B
but don't twist it up I am here to spread unity
I was 6 and 7 when they shot Tupac and B Eye...G
So now whose on our playlist Drake or Nicki
or Do yall listen to Gucci, Wayne or Young Jeeeeezy?
But now you tuned into L A D B
Africa unite Rest In Peace Bob Marley
I'm rolling Bob Marley's waiting for that Barbie
Wait a minute scratch that rather her sister Bonnie
She down for a cause, she down for a Army
I'm a Last of A Dying Breed
What's Illuminati?
Rest In Peace Gandhi
Hold on let me explain
Because my faith is the reason that I maintain
they may not play it but my lyrics dope like *******
and
Last of A Dying Breed is what I'll remain...

Ele A de be
365 TIL I DIE
Salute!
Poignant prose chucked out and recycled by morning.
Turned out trick repeated til boring.
The local band just started touring.
Sonnet's blasted until the ladies are 'whooring'.

...

Roxy Music dropped David Byrne.
For Ellie Goulding and a remix of burn.
Robert Johnson's been reworked.
Ratatat rap as interest is perked.

Dylan picked up the silent game.
Making ambient noises which all sound the same.
The Rolling Stones joined the church.
After buying some of Hoosier's merch.

Nicki Minaj claps her ****
Laying down a tribute for Terry Fox's stump.
Benefit concert soon to be run.
By the played out Glee Club composing Fun.

Beach Boys dragged in with the tide.
...And Stars Collide.
NOFX has gone clean
Fat Mike's gone and become a dean.

Tom Waits stomps out to Kendrick Lamar.
Hacking up bits of blunt induced tar.
Bumping out in Steve Ellison's car.
To Captain Murphy's karaoke bootlegged from a bar.

...

Less than 10 good tapes a year
Even fewer if referring to those others actually hear.
Jack White's gone third eye blind
Getting over run by his drug free mind.
Dani Apr 2013
I would like to say
that I know everything
about you.
But sadly, that's not true.
I may know that,
you don't believe in love,
and that body image  
doesn't matter to you,
and that you want to have  
a love child with Anderson Cooper.

But I don't know the simple things.

We never once
talked about what your
favorite color is.
Or what animal
it is you like best.
I'm not sure what
your favorite food is
or what you like for desert.

I know that,
you like to do math  
for fun,  
and that you used to be
in little league.
I remember you telling me  
you once climbed a mango tree,
and that's time  
you found out you were allergic.
I know that you pronounce
'English' with an 'a' at the beginning,
and
"secretly, I bought this song"
when Starships by Nicki Minaj
came on during the school dance.

I know so much about you
more than anyone really.
But I wish I knew  
what your favorite color is,
and what animal it is you like best.
But,
it seems a little too late to be asking such simple questions now,
doesn't it.
Simon Woodstock May 2015
Mary,Mary Jane is that you leaving ashes by my window...oh wait that was nicki...I'm sorry I forgot your much more stable and less self destructive...I forgot that you never leave my bedside like a bible...bringing me spiritual awakening or curing self denial...holding me close having me feeling safe and secure...but most of all loved and like my skin is pure...you open my eyes to the beauty simple things hold in life...until you fade away...and reality steps in the way
something I just came up with
Paige Apr 2014
Okay.
I'll admit it.
I miss my friends
and I miss being
young, and care free.
I miss cruising to
Nicki Minaj
and chilling at the park.
Watching the boys
fight in the back yard.
Smoking *** for hours,
and laughing together.
Those boys and girls
were the closest thing
to a family I ever had.
I miss the late night
parties in Joey's room,
all of us,
either drunk;
******,
or tripping,
but happy.
You can't buy happiness
like that.

I miss sitting in
a room with
my family.
ayroba dutton Aug 2014
2014, a year where 90s and late 80s babies are happy hyper turnt up not turnt down are swaggerific vs Brillitelegerent. Everyday we live is a commercial Just because we see many commercials Young fly and flashy is what we all want to be but what about those that just want to be "young wild and free"

Free to speak, free to act, free to stand, free to move, free to sing, free to dance, free to read, free to eat and more importantly free to choose how and what we want things to be like Females: I see we got swag of soul urban sophisticated finesse then theres those of us who are preps that are chic may be geeks. Lastly the girls that love to twerk alot plus cover themselves in thick make up and hair dye or is it a weave or a bob (Bob)

They say we sweet cuz we got that "bubblegum" question is what is your flavor something like K Michelle? Nicki Minaj? Rihanna? Miley Cyrus? In that case so do we all skirts and crop tops and bikinis and short shorts or is it galaxy leggings or perhaps jeggings.

Fellas they say you are pimps and players dons and brothas that be like "Forget the haters" they say you are cool with swagger as Kesha said something like that Nick Jagger. Urban dominance, fitteds and suits glasses and high fades what about those high grades Yasssss my brotha ooh I cant forget about those gorgeous dread heads now Ayeeee

Alright I mentioned alot about the guys but which are you...chris brown? Drake? That boy Meek milli or Justin Beiber well whichever it is Ladies and Gentlemen Just remember your place and Destination our Generation peace
Nicki Tilston Apr 2017
How often do you stop?
When ever
do you
listen to the silence?
Do you ever embrace
the total peace
that being
at one
with nature brings?
Reach out and touch the sky.
Watch clouds,
float by.
Be still.
Be quiet.

Only let
the murmur of a breeze,
or the song
of a distant bird,
be heard.
Open
your eyes.
Look up and see,
the delicate blossom
of a woodland tree.
Look down
at wild, hedgerow flowers.
Observe
the easy
bumble bee.

Sit back,
let the silver sand,
be your comfy seat.
Allow the sound
of the rushing tide
to soothe, restore.
Relax, in your retreat.
Gaze up
to the mountains,
magnificent and fine.
Breathe
the pure intoxication,
of the forest air
of pine.

Connect
with spirits
of ancient ancestors,
at their monuments
and burial grounds.
Hear their whispers
from centuries past.
Wallow in their sounds.
Clear your head
of busy chatter.
Banish demons
from your mind.
Embrace the life
of your earth mother,
as you let your soul
unwind.

© Nicki Tilston.
Ayeshah Dec 2015
I don't like what I see
when I look in the mirror
  I stand there holding myself*

Sometimes I'll place  my hands on my hips
and move from side to side
turning this way or that
grabbing at my behind
pulling it up
seeing how it'd look
if it were plumper
like them girl's in the videos


Sometimes I grab a handful of my belly
or **** it in and see how I'd look
if I could just get over this 14 year baby weight
and all the pounds
I've gained from my last few miscarriages.


I know stress plays a role
I eat when stressed
  I eat my depression and eat when sad or on my cycle
I love to eat and love food
but it's truly never been my reason for this weight
burdening me down


I lost my will to move
to walk or work out
lost my drive to fight or even speak out
I went from working and going to school
staying busy
to doing only bits here and there that I have to do


I can't  be bothered
don't even want to
I'll lay here and not move
long as I can


I've stayed in a runt for so long
I'm talking years felt so low
and haven't dug our yet
and I know for me
this depressions a killer
it's got me defeated
beaten down
so low I never wanna be loved again...


As I  stand in front of this mirror
I hate what's become of me
my pessimistic behavior
and ideology of what love should be
seems like its not meant for me
I hate looking at myself
I hate seeing my luscious curves
my ample succulent *******


I only currently
like my long hair
that goes to my shoulders
for this chocolate cocoa skin
it seems so out of place
people wonder if its a weave
and not my own
but this is all home grown
yet and still

I just like who I am as a person & represent
not my physical appearance
not only because I have a "good hair"
for a black girl
  I'm ONLY black
yet
I'm proud of my heritage
I'm black and Puerto Rican
but who cares


Funny how my shape for others
is just right
&
for me it isn't
I don't have that j.lo figured

I don't look like a Nicki Minaj
how do I look?
I um well  I look just like me
but seems I can't find someone who'd
conquered my heart
and own it
take care of it as they should....


One  day I'll get tired of my self loathing
work out
and the World
will be impressed
but not
as much as ME!

*Copyright ©
Ayeshah K.C.L.N 1977-Present  
All right reserved
EMC2 May 2017
What can you say
to a generation who don't remember
your summer of love.

Who don't see the ribbon in the sky
Stevie wonder,
couldn't see
but saw .
The eventual maturity of a  culture
whose built their identity off those brave enough to speak up.
when so many of us have been rendered cowards,
a perceived perception
fulfilling the essence of,
"Throw that *** in the circle!"
For that moment of miniscule acceptance
a belonging without question, we’ved missed since grade school .
“i am  Full of myself, full of myself, i am full of myself” ,
as beyonica sells dreams of bootylicious  billion dollar unions
nicki minaj and *** implants is the logical evolutionary conclusion  
what's going on
no Marvin gaye
we already know
found our idol's.
they comes on
Mondays at 7.
So we don't look for them no more
Their Preprogrammed
Failed by the previous generation
who couldn't seem to find themselves and their patients long enough to lead.
What can you say to a generation
whose music don't speak of waiting in waters, but shaking those waters just enough
to get what you can from EBT
or being just quite enough so you don't have to scream
“I can't breathe”.
A battle between law and survival
and Democrats ain't been no better than Republicans since the  1700's
we’re still holding our breath in waiting..
**** your revolution old *****,
it ain't did nothing
but make people believe that I have something that I could never
hold in my hand.
A black president
freedom
and a land
Turn up.
To the slowest change in history,
still waiting for equality on all fronts
this movement was debunked,
like the memories of Americans
30 minutes primetime cycles
What can you say
to a generation
who does the nea nea
where teddy bears and liquor bottles mark  the legacy of the deceased
once lay,
such a short memory
these corner they lived and died for a singular belief
money over *******, get rich by all means.
that's our raising the bar
“go for the millions”
and if we play it right
miley cyrus
will twork your way to a grammy.
What can you say
to a generation.
where gay is so gay
no one knows it’s true meaning
we're all just dreaming
make it up as we go
bought into a coma
now trying to wake up.
What can you say
to this generation
except sorry
we left you nothing to hold on too.    
but shadows
and hypocritical finger
that rely
“don't  as i do “
but
“do as i say”
If I had the body of Nicki Minaj
The voice of Beyonce,
The dance moves of Ciara,
The acting skills of Cameron Diaz,
The brains of Oprah Winfrey
And the creativity of Tyler Perry,
I'd be totally FaKe!!!,Yes you got me right!
Why?because I wasn't born to be alike with anyone,
And neither were you,
So don't compare yourself to anyone,
Give yourself a break!
You're different from everyone else,so why bother being like someone else?its an impossibility anyways,.
Embrace your individuality.
how many steps must I take
joints grind and bones to break
this is for your sake
regrets follow in my wake
your face and smile fake
poker table I'm the rake
Nicki, Kanye and Drake
like filligry on my cake
like edgewater on a lake
real estaste will always make
dem big booties shake
to make the earth quake
and when will you flake
and make my heart break
It's then I realize you're my only mistake
Nostalgic May 2020
HATE AGAINST SELF-HATE

Convictions from your neighbor
Parents always find new problems to address
Nocturnal thoughts usher everything you did wrong
Everything you can’t obtain yet obsess
And there’s nothing like being reminded of your most cunning regrets

But you know what
It’s alright

It’s alright to not have your crush crush over you
To only have two of your 2000 followers actually tell you the truth
Like your post and send genuine messages below your texts after retweeting “we love you”

It’s alright
To not have a flat stomach
And skip a day of bathing now and then
To have a long list of contacts and have  more than 100 view your status but to only have one on your speed dial that you call a friend

Hey listen, it’s alright
To spend days in bed, alone
To switch of your data and switch it on a day later to no messages or missed calls and question the real reason you have a phone

To completely **** at social media
And have the oldest version of WhatsApp and actually deplete your data on tumblr, google searches and checking updates on Wikipedia
To spend months indoors, hey!
Better the chances of your survival if listeriosis decides to be airborne
To use twitter for the free ****

Don’t worry yourself
It’s alright
To actually be the real deal photographer when overnight picture takers already make money and you don’t
To not have the retro vans
In black and white
Or the adidas tracksuit pants with protruding stripes
You don’t have to lie about living your best life if your just the best at just living life

It’s alright
You don’t have to have 100 pictures on your Instagram
You can just use it until your crush posts about their break up
So you can go back to saying how ****** men are
How they can’t value you because you laugh at your own jokes
Simply because no one is around to say, that’s the third time now Grace
That while other girls have **** collections you have a meme collection

Baby girl it’s alright
To have Nicki Minaj’s album cover have you question the beauty of the girl in the reflection
Or how you don’t look like Beyoncé after you pointed at her hairstyle in the saloon
How you don’t know what it is that stops you from loving yourself the way you claim to with #Snack and #Mood on your Twitter

It’s called escapism, socially enticed envy and identity disphoria darling
You know what it is now so stop crying whenever your phone is off
Going live on Instagram and having two viewers and no comments is alright

In fact it’s completely fine
It’s alright
To be the way you are right now
To keep a healthy diet because you want to see what asparagus will do to your taste buds
It’s nasty by the way so stick to McDonald’s chips and Nando’s fresh buns ohh the white powder!!!
Why choose to starve yourself and master the catwalk when the runway isn’t calling
Why trip over love when you don’t remember falling
Why entertain rude guys to keep a social life when your solitude was never boring
Why complicate your life when you slept easier knowing your phone could be off but they called you simple
Now they have no words of comfort to crutch you when their shallow thoughts are the reason you’re socially crippled
Braam is dope
Pretoria is amazing
Rosebank is fantastic
but pizza at home with choc chipped ice cream watching the Avengers is just something

It’s alright bro
Six pack for who
I know brothers chiseled from iron that still get the flu
My crooked smile does wonders
These broad shoulder looking men that skip leg day are going through a stage
I personally go to the gym to outrun a dog that escaped from its cage

It’s alright fam
You are not the same
And that’s something great
As a kid you said you wanted to be different
You’re finally here
The next time you’re invited to a Braai
While others offer expectations, mediocrity and FOMO because they can’t wait
You’ll bring innovation, uniqueness, patiences and a true definition of what a human being is overflowing on your plate

It’s alright
Stay real!
Stop hating yourself, it’s detrimental and chaotic. It will take you to a deep trench you will spend your life trying to dig yourself out of. It’s hereditary
Ari Sep 2014
You stand in a group of
"friends"
Flaunting your features in
a minidress and and sparkling water
in your hand
People talk amongst us -
Near you, around me.
They seem to talk of you -
and only you, not me
Dont mind at all actually
You dont get it.
Protuding at sharp angles,
you're all bones.
Like a corpse stuck in
midstride - you have no
Swag
Legs thinned to paper.
Rib case sketched by the stretch
of your baby blue dress.
You flirt, dance, smirk
at everything that breathes
Sadly, no ones entranced.
Think all should be jealous -
even the homozygous.
Your ego bigger than
Nicki Minaj's **** -
it spans for miles


We talk, enjoy the night
until we hear something
Ugly
"only 115? That's all?
Lose a little more... Quit eating"
They leave, you weep
everyone stares
Afterall, youve just lost
your throne and jewels.
Too diluted with your thoughts,
you would lock yourself in the
bathroom stall
wishing for your fairy godmother
You run outside - tripping,
nearly falling, leaving a glass slipper
Behing
No one seems to care.
I glance at the two at my sides,
lucky to have such friends
Silent understanding passes between
Us
We make outside ~ findin
you cryin like the worlds endin
Holding up your shoe, we walk over
put my hand on your shoulder
Like a rail, hard and thin it is.
"Im sorry", you blurt.

"Dont be.. We'll buy you your own pizza."
We live in a SOCIETY obsessed with looks
Are we ASHAMED?
Are we AFRAID to be left alone?

RECONSTRUCTING your self-esteem by going under the knife
REPAIRING those parts you feel are damaged
You do it to IMPRESS youself "So You Say"

Comments from those you LOVE
ENDLESS PRESSURE

TV
MAGAZINES
SUPERMODELS

Oo yeah NICKI MINAJ
What a beauty

SUPERFICIALLY beauty is within the eye of the beholder

   WHERE
                    DO
                            YOU
                                      STAND
                                                     ????
Not judging but recognizing the stress of beauty
Nicki Tilston Apr 2017
I’m partial to
a paddle in the sea.
As long as the water
only comes up to my knee.
I don’t like being
out of my depth,
as I can’t swim more
than a breadth

I like the sea
to be clear.
Don’t want a shark
Up my rear.
A jelly fish wobbling
round my toes,
or a dolphin
with a bottle nose

I don’t mind a ripple,
or a gentle wave.
But when surf’s up,
I’m not very brave.
I need to see
to the bottom of the sea.
In case a crab
takes a nip out of me!

© Nicki Tilston
Nicki Tilston Jun 2015
TWEETS

I've never felt
The need to tweet
Does that mean
I'm incomplete?
My many thoughts
My words of wit
Have not been shared
By means of twit
Give me facebook
I'll wax lyrical
About life and love
And things satirical
But don't ask me
To send a tweet
I'll run away
Get cold feet
Wouldn't know how
To make a start
Don't think I'll ever want
To learn the art
I'm starting to feel
Like a real Luddite
A bit old fashioned
Not very bright
Hashtag this and that
What's that all about?
Think I'm going to
Have to bale out
Of these constant developments
In means of communication
I can't keep up
I need a bit of stagnation
Take time out
Do some meditation
Sit back, relax
Get some sedation
Enjoy the sounds of nature...
...Now that is sweet
...Listen to the birds sing
...Tweet, Tweet, Tweet!                            

Nicki Tilston

— The End —