"laziest" poems
Who are we dealing with today, the psychopath on the left or right? All hail to mouth from the North, East, West, and South; how else will you convince your audience with all that inner charm you truly don't possess. Your heart is never in the right place but your full lips seem to flap about like a flatulent **** hole. All things considered, you try to come off as, "I can do it all", but we all know deep inside you're one of the laziest of zodiacal signs. Who else is going to catch up on Hollywood gossip and the latest in tacky fashions, most you Geminians seem to don and adore. It's not all bad, I mean, about the only thing you might be good at is reading this critical review and dismissing it because, like all true psychopaths you still refuse to take a look at all 36 personalities.
Advice: Don't breathe...just leave this Universe, you piece of ****
Jul 1, 2015
Jul 1, 2015 at 10:45 AM UTC
President Comb-Over,
Quite the despicable guy
Got himself elected
But the wise folk wonder why.
Obama wore a tan suit
Conservatives went insane,
But this Wimpy lookalike butterball
Sports a totally artificial mane.
If ****** predation were a soccer game
This **** would win The World Cup.
If you ignored the news and his tweets
You’d think someone made this horror show up.
He’s lied and cheated and swindled his way
In to more lucrative deals than he deserved
Then a large minority of certifiable idiots
Elected him so he could to pretend to serve.
He took the Oath of Office, quite smugly
But that’s where his integrity would end.
He set about making deals for himself
His trophy wives, his offspring and friends.
He made few attempts to cover his tracks,
Mostly just shouted blatantly obvious lies
By which he was fooling no one intelligent.
Just the moronic, the foolish and unwise.
He relied on the vagaries of human nature
That voters are among the laziest humans
And would rather vote for a rascal it seems
Than take a chance on an honest new man
Or woman, or gay or an experienced soul
That could take over the Presidential reins
Instead of driving our country straight to hell
And making huge profits off the remains.
Brent Kincaid
4/23/2019
Apr 23, 2019
Apr 23, 2019 at 2:46 PM UTC
My Cat slept a lot today
It's not an unusual thing
He was asleep when I went out
And asleep when I came in
The Whiskers twitch, the tail flicks
Perhaps a playful dream
Oh he's awake! No. Just turned round
The laziest cat I've seen!
Mar 28, 2021
Mar 28, 2021 at 6:48 PM UTC
Faith falls out
of the lottery winning man
just as it is absorbed
by the cancer ridden man.
Nothing makes sense
in this world in which we live
and everything is gray in the relationship
we allow to live.
God creates man,
man creates God,
sheep live blissfully ignorant
without a need for a god.
The fastest man on earth
partakes of the green,
and the fastest man on water
partakes of the green,
yet the laziest men on earth
criminalize that which is our birth right.
Freedom's legality is a matter of discussion,
it's a matter of luck and
place of citizenship.
Depending on where you are
you may speak your mind.
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 11:19 PM UTC
The fog crept in on giant monster claws,
Surely no itty-bitty feline foots, I pray:
“Feets don’t fail me now,”
A line that will live in infamy,
Way back in a vaudeville when,
A minstrel Chitlin Circuit then,
Was an actor known as the
"Laziest man in the world,"
A character designed to stick to a
Collective white consciousness,
Stick like Tar-Baby, that negative
Image of African-American men--
I speak of The Brothers--
Who for over a century, have been
Struggling to live down a pernicious,
Most persistently demeaning,
Hollywood trope.
Tribute is due to the black actor born:
Lincoln Theodore Monroe Andrew Perry.
Oh, Mr. Perry, & yes, you were the
First black actor to receive
Screen credit in a film.
Well, I guess that puts you right up there,
With Jackie Robinson & Sidney Poitier,
Carver or Tubman, or any of those
Countless northern abolitionists--
With no personal stake in slavery,
Or emancipation, but fervent nonetheless--
Color-barrier breakers &
Household saints a-coming &
A-marching in, in that number . . .
You paid a big price, Mr. Perry:
The indignity & débauche,
By abject surrender to the Boss Man,
Tribute, recognition is due for
Feats of humility & self-abasement,
Entailing total superhuman surrender,
Capitulation to the dismal, prevailing
State of American race relations at the time.
Stepin Fetchit: a name & a persona,
Not just painfully racist, but
Downright subversive.
Jul 4, 2015
Jul 4, 2015 at 1:45 AM UTC
I realize that poets are just posers who imitate other poets, in a lackadaisical attempt to be someone that we are not. It is the laziest of arts. I impose my new art, on a floundering mass of dying humans. It is visual, and sound art, in custom made video clips that are impossible to imitate. The tones of color and sound are of my very own. Using sounds of everyday life(at least everyday life of a lunatic) and videos I make on the spot of those sounds. I realized that the Mona Lisa ***** and with kids believing that they can turn into a character from Fortnite, I am hitting at the exact right time. My art is living, in a world that is dying(hopefully)
Mar 27, 2022
Mar 27, 2022 at 12:07 PM UTC
Flutterbies and Scallywags
floating in a brizzillag.
Mumbliwags and prissywicks
swimming in a zig zag
All together, stroke, stroke,
the mumbliwags are swimming.
Dipping here and dipping there.
the flutterbies are skimming.
But not so much, those scallywags,
a lazy bunch they are...
and what about those prissywicks,
the laziest by far.
Bumblies are bumbling,
What very funny things.
Listing side to side are they
On their whimsy wings
Prissywicks and Frakkyliks
tiring long before,
any of their counterparts
on the brizzillag shore
Flitting hither and thither, and way beyond yonder,
the flutterbies flitter all day.
It's a shame, don't you know, when it comes to playing,
only the flutterbies come out to put on a show.
The rest are all lazy, and mindless or crazy
and float around in the brizzillag.
If it were a contest, you know who would be the best,
And Flutterbies would be winnin', every blue ribbon.
Dec 27, 2010
Dec 27, 2010 at 8:09 AM UTC
My neck broken
Forehead kisses the back of my hand as my stature silhouettes
"The Thinker"
This is not for everyone.
No one else would be as:
Courageous as...
Distraught as...
Pathetic as...
Insignificant.
The end result of the realization that you are one of the ones who tried but missed your shot- the timing didn't work out right...
you are too late.
Working hard now will only give you a sense of satisfaction, accomplishment, completion
Yet it still stands
Your tree bears no fruit.
The longest sigh
The laziest, deepest,
dragging of steps through mud.
You will never be...
Begrudgingly.
Alternating between facing the inevitable stuck-still,
accompanied
by the hair of doubt..
The hair of doubt,
Contrasting
The impossibility you cling to..
Contradicting
the probable.
...all the while weathering under an umbrella of uncertainty.
A knot.
Nov 20, 2015
Nov 20, 2015 at 12:08 PM UTC
Procrastinate
It's when you wait
To do the things
You truly hate.
WORK CAN'T WAIT
Your conscious yells.
Instead you ponder
'bout cow bells.
Cuz if we need
Bells for our cows,
Why not small kids
Who wander 'round?
Kids that're smelly,
have round bellies
and seem to always
be cryin' and yelling?
At this point
You look to the fan
And see a fat fly
You wonder when it's gunna die
But your lazy cat,
Who has lazily sat
On the laziest looking mat,
Jumps like a boss
and with a paw toss
Swipes that fly
Into your left eye.
Right after the hit,
You scream...
**FU<KING ****
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?**
Now as you're half blind
A series of thoughts
Pop into your mind.
*What if you die...?
All because of the fly?
What if it landed
In some ****
What if that ****
Is now in you?
You could get malaria...
Get lost in hysteria...
Nothing seems clear
Will you now never know
If Justin Bieber's queer?*
Procrastination
Is when you wait
To do the things
You truly hate
But if you take
Too long to start
Karma bites you
In the ****
AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!
Mar 23, 2017
Mar 23, 2017 at 2:29 PM UTC
There once was a man from Mumbai
Whose face had the laziest eye:
It opened at noon
While the other as soon
As the sun rose was focused and spry.
Feb 27, 2025
Feb 27, 2025 at 3:13 AM UTC
I never wanted to be a mother
Not because I dislike kids
Just wasn't something I ever considered
It was never a priority
Not something I considered in my calculations
Over a year ago
I was asked to be a godmother
Hell why not
They call me Aunt Bootcamp
Self-explanatory
Although kisses and hugs
Are always available
And sure they're cute
But I'm literally
The laziest person I know
Unless I'm working
...Or looking after kids
Appratently
So there he is
"20 months old"
-What is up with the whole month- thing anyway?-
Squeezing the content
Of his juicebox in himself
Laughing like it's greatest thing ever
So his mum put him in the shower
I'm looking for towels
Socks, shirts and extra pants
Cleaning up juice
Off the floor
And the table
Consequence of a glass knocked over
He casually pees on my carpet
And somehow it only made me laugh
Preconditioned to get up
And catch him as he falls
Wondering how I got be so fast
Not even remotely annoyed
As he smiles and looks me in the eye
And does exactly what I said not to do
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 6, 2015 at 3:24 PM UTC
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Nov 25, 2015
Nov 25, 2015 at 10:19 PM UTC
Knowledge is now very simple
Single word questions
And answers in a breath.
Knowledge is now aplenty
Evenly cut pieces of bread
Within easy reach of the laziest
Then why do you
Lift your eyebrows
When forty line answers are spit out
For question that won’t hold in four lines.
The Thaj Mahal is not a wonder, its snobbery
The vain argument goes on.
From the other lone
This lone doesn’t look greener
but only a funeral patch
You are argue with yourself
And throwing a set of fruitfulness question:
Why the evening’s rosiness nestles in the snake bird’s eyes?
Where does the garden lizard leave its memory for a while?
When did the owl start cleaning the day’s dirt to end the night?
Who feeds the pair of rabbits on the moon without fail?
In what soft tones does the ant whisper secrets to its mate?
In which impoverished month did the white ants burp and wipe their lips
Who wrenched the cricket’s courage that they make such noise?
Why can’t the **** wake up the neighborhood without loosing its sleep?
Why can’ t the peacock break its contract with the rain clouds?
From where did the fox gain its cunning?
Which river entered the forest, fighting the sea?
Why war, floods, poverty, quakes?
In word : God’s fury.
Look how simple knowledge is,
Beautiful in its commonness.
Still you argue
You swear
What met isn’t knowledge
Nor the way to knowledge
Then of what
Does it symbolise?
Tell me in a word.
======
May 23, 2014
May 23, 2014 at 1:53 AM UTC
Quiet campus
Lazy day
Bored to death
Tired evening
Moody moment
Undecided
Go to lecture
Skip the lecture
Too many tasks
lazy to think
Postpone the class
When to replace?
If i skip
they'd notice my absence
What would I do now?
My feet too heavy
Too weak to drag them
my laziest day ever...
skipping just a two hour session
would not make them idiots
ahh... stay.. its hot outside
ok, cancel the lecture..
call the class REP
OH! no, proceed please Madam...
Students are waiting..
eagerly for you...
pathetic madam..
running late...
ahh... where's the car key?
ohh... the class too far...
4.00pm sharp and here is madam...
giving a lecture at last....
SMILING!!!
May 28, 2013
May 28, 2013 at 4:00 AM UTC
A meaningless life
Filled with nothing
"Did I get something to eat"
She asks.
Yes, I can see the food
You are the most ignorant, obnoxious person
I have ever met
People like you
Should be sent to India
To work 13 hours
In a sweatshop
Just to make enough money
To survive
Your luxury car impounded
People like you
Get Alzheimers
Because you never use
Your mind
You are one of the laziest
Most obnoxious people
I have ever met
You don't live
But exist
Like a picture on the wall
And I hate to be harsh
But it's true
You are an incredibly stupid
And lazy individual
I won't be here
For the holidays
Oct 2, 2015
Oct 2, 2015 at 12:17 AM UTC
I'll make a hymn,
A hymn to my sadness,
Prose is my laziest instrument,
To outsource loneliness,
To let melancholy,
That in some point it had its nest on me,
I'll leave my inconformity,
My frustation,
My deepest feeling of denial,
Against all the injustice around me,
Neither by spitting it,
Cursing it,
Or changing it,
Becomes fair.
Where every man or woman has no value,
Where every object becomes value,
Welcome everyone,
To reality,
Where neither being a human could have more value than trash,
Where every objection is opposed by economic power,
Where every opportunity is shorn of those who do not have power,
Low self-esteem,
Constant comparison,
Self-destruction,
Our most solid principles in society,
Where suicidal instinct is a viable way,
While confrontation is brave and impossible,
Where all are dwarfed by those who take opportunities,
Beacuse most of them have opportunities at hand,
Freezing loneliness,
Takes over this city,
Where who gets laid more times,
Is the one who lives better.
Welcome to our society,
Where everything is declining,
Where the future is in the East and even in the north,
Where hope dwells expectation,
Which brings us to want what belongs to others,
To destroy ourselves only for not being enough,
Depend on the covers of social acceptance,
Just to be someone,
Where death,
It is a privilege and a prize at the same time,
For those who know that today,
Our society is the most perfect one,
For the generation born with it,
But not for our future or past.
Souls intertwine and become a new life,
They return to this soiety so different,
But they do not feel the change so sudden and incoherent,
Since the beginning of such children will feel,
But growing they will know,
That society will reject them,
They become marginalized at the same cycle,
Where mad people,
Dreamers,
Gentlemen,
Free thinkers,
The differents,
Will be placed on the corner table,
Where they are to fill leftovers,
Society just give them.
Jul 24, 2019
Jul 24, 2019 at 9:58 PM UTC
Unlike all the general stereotypes,
Unlike the degrading things people say,
There's an extraordinarily amazing continent
Filled with aesthetically pleasing beauty,
And music making the laziest of people dance.
Bright and bubbly, giving us energy.
People here use their bodies
To express themselves where words fail.
Incredibly fascinating movements for hours on end,
That interest people who would otherwise be endlessly bored.
Feb 20, 2017
Feb 20, 2017 at 9:34 AM UTC
A swarm of mosquitoes there was
Of different ethnic origin, language and culture.
Aedes, anopheles, culex and others
Some fragile, some agile and some avaricious,
The anopheles was the most fragile but avaricious.
This human, they set eyes on,
She was in possession of everything they needed
And in want of nothing.
So because of her possessions, they attacked her
And she being weak, could do nothing to defend herself.
And so with their proboscis, they ****** her blood,
For many a year, she was continuously being ******
As she was being ****** so was she being bitten,
Some bites were gentle, others, excruciating.
But with God on her side, she stood on her feet.
The wind of change gently blew some mosquitoes away
Others clung tight, for they were desperate
But the human started agitating for her freedom
So the remaining mosquitoes reluctantly left.
But alas!!!! She has been ****** semi dry
She started labouring to regain herself back
Just as the lazy anopheles mosquitoe came back
As the other mosquitoes went and continued their lives,
The anopheles discovered it couldn’t survive alone
So it came back through lies and deceit to **** more blood
And from that same human, it continued ******* blood,
It will come as if to make peace
Between the body parts; but that’s a pretext.
It truly came for blood and more blood
The anopheles mosquitoe knows it can’t live without the blood
But it can never accept that fact
Because of its ***** pride.
It is the laziest of all the mosquitoes
Because it depends solely on the human
If the human doesn’t open her eyes
And with zeal, fight back,
The anopheles will **** her with no mercy.
NO HUMAN, NO ANOPHELES MOSQUITOE
NO AFRICA, NO FRANCE
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 7:32 AM UTC
shadows slow
to the point where only the wine matters
they stop and watch awhile wondering,
"today"?
perpetual Sundays denounce tomorrow across a fictional bridge,
constricting as a pulmonary sigh, though even the laziest of walks would suffice to sluice a cleaner way
but I jaw the sky from where I lay, expect that it should change into a major key,
corroborate my sickest dreams and mimic mouthed mischief
and I lie in many more ways
dreary under the prescription of nervous attendance
beyond the arctic eye, the blue skied sighs
stare through the Artex topography of childhood
behind the curtains patterned with glimpsed bears,
at best,
at worst the horror of a dead childhood friend
amongst the machine drawn memories
a path beyond the puddled neon jigsaws might lead me
to a closed set where the gentlemanly objects of debauched and thrilled robberies decline
while stretched behind the soft reach of a silken knee,
a nyloned thigh
the plainest lips pose the riddle
that entertains your pity
yet ***** all hope of a shy siege and leave me hints
in kiss shaped welts,
roses smeared like lipstick misses,
somehow innocent in the routine of predicament
then parcelled into dreams of hyena logic
I am of a mind
that, in winter, the oxygen levels
decline as the trees hunch
like upturned, diseased lungs
breathless and malign
Mar 10, 2015
Mar 10, 2015 at 3:30 AM UTC
sunglass and a drink
watching a street-lamp in the dark...
hell...
that's schizophrenic...
the light
just splits...
it just splits!
i'm seeing double(s)...
i must be on acid...
because this light source is
encompassing (hiding) a twin!
the laziest of the most
skint boston fweaks;
or as i like to call them:
the milk-maids
for the dog dubbed zero...
yeah, this is the part where i growl,
and never ask for applause.
it was only me, looking at a street-lamp...
and to think... it only took an
aperitif's worth of brie cheese...
considering... roquefort.... is
the most justifiable joice of joke.
Jun 3, 2017
Jun 3, 2017 at 9:07 PM UTC
Stuck in the bottom of an empty keg.
Someone got there before me and polished off the contents.
At least in a keg with no beer in, at least I'll never drown.
Wish I'd got there first.
It may have softened this rotten blow.
The apple pips are sprouting now, there's nowhere left to go.
The only way is upwards moving, apparently it seems.
The ivory tower is greasy and filled with many queens.
The kings dance round the chess board,
Arrogance personified.
That can't be denied.
The knights all lost their horses.
They all fell down and died.
The bishops they all waffle.
Whispered words of religion, a little bit of politics.
Polished hearts and mitres.
Super load of ***** tricks.
They're all out to spite her.
They all seem smitten with her kitten, but her dog stepped in and barked.
Chased the cats and kings away.
She's up and dressed, off out to play.
With traffic on the highway
Screaming loudly,
I ain't playing silly games of chess or towers.
Tomorrow the laziest lady is grabbing back the power.
(c)Livvi
Oct 2, 2015
Oct 2, 2015 at 11:10 AM UTC
How can you accept me
As I am..me..
Being the laziest person ever
Laziness produces anxiety
And then my lungs give out on me
Barely breathing the air you gave me
What kind of life is that?
So wrapped up in breathing
Can I just forget it please?
And just...
Live...
Oct 26, 2014
Oct 26, 2014 at 11:00 PM UTC