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"incomprehension" poems
It’s just easy for them Isn’t it? This couple on the train. They walked on laughing together Holding hands And I felt that familiar something- Not jealousy Not envy But... Chagrin. Astonishment. Incredulity. Incomprehension. Looking at them feels like looking at one of those Impossible pictures Where the stairs keep going forever in a loop. It’s just Easy for them. It doesn’t hurt anymore, that thought, But thinking it feels so odd in my mind When I can’t imagine loving someone without Shame, Without pain. They fit. These people, They fit without having to carve anything out. They fit without punishing each other. They fit like puzzle pieces cut from the same board- No worries, they just go together, and that Is that. They fit like “Of course.” Like breathing. Neatly. Simply. Carelessly. I can’t imagine what it’s like I can’t comprehend it- To fit Somewhere Much less to fit somewhere With someone. I am always trying to corset myself into this world, Lungs burning, Trying to remain small enough to squeeze by Catching myself by the wrist to keep from reaching For anything. And if there seems to be a spot where I might be able to exist as I am It is always Occupied. Like a shiny pinprick That thought hurts- Not like the others it is newly cut And still ****** The idea that maybe there is a home for me And that maybe I was too late for it. They’re laughing. He says something clever, Passes a hand along the small of her back And she leans into it, Smiling because she loves that he wants to touch her innocently. They seem to exist behind glass. Not for the first time I wonder If I could just slip into that life Like a drop into an ocean I want it badly I want it stupidly And I examine all the parts of myself, All the edges and cracks, All the things I’ve worked so hard to protect and repair. It is not a welcome sight- I am not a home I am like an old ruin Full of murmurings and cold spots Full of dusty sunlight. I sigh, Knowing the secret I keep so poorly- That if I really had a choice to be otherwise I would have already made it. I couldn’t reach them if I ran for a thousand years, They are too far away. They walk off the train, arms linked Talking about nothing And I watch them go Like a hallucination, Like a mirage in the desert. Her perfume smells like forgetfulness And it lingers.
0
Sep 28, 2018
Sep 28, 2018 at 12:48 AM UTC
Easy
It’s just easy for them Isn’t it? This couple on the train. They walked on laughing together Holding hands And I felt that familiar something- Not jealousy Not envy But... Chagrin. Astonishment. Incredulity. Incomprehension. Looking at them feels like looking at one of those Impossible pictures Where the stairs keep going forever in a loop. It’s just Easy for them. It doesn’t hurt anymore, that thought, But thinking it feels so odd in my mind When I can’t imagine loving someone without Shame, Without pain. They fit. These people, They fit without having to carve anything out. They fit without punishing each other. They fit like puzzle pieces cut from the same board- No worries, they just go together, and that Is that. They fit like “Of course.” Like breathing. Neatly. Simply. Carelessly. I can’t imagine what it’s like I can’t comprehend it- To fit Somewhere Much less to fit somewhere With someone. I am always trying to corset myself into this world, Lungs burning, Trying to remain small enough to squeeze by Catching myself by the wrist to keep from reaching For anything. And if there seems to be a spot where I might be able to exist as I am It is always Occupied. Like a shiny pinprick That thought hurts- Not like the others it is newly cut And still ****** The idea that maybe there is a home for me And that maybe I was too late for it. They’re laughing. He says something clever, Passes a hand along the small of her back And she leans into it, Smiling because she loves that he wants to touch her innocently. They seem to exist behind glass. Not for the first time I wonder If I could just slip into that life Like a drop into an ocean I want it badly I want it stupidly And I examine all the parts of myself, All the edges and cracks, All the things I’ve worked so hard to protect and repair. It is not a welcome sight- I am not a home I am like an old ruin Full of murmurings and cold spots Full of dusty sunlight. I sigh, Knowing the secret I keep so poorly- That if I really had a choice to be otherwise I would have already made it. I couldn’t reach them if I ran for a thousand years, They are too far away. They walk off the train, arms linked Talking about nothing And I watch them go Like a hallucination, Like a mirage in the desert. Her perfume smells like forgetfulness And it lingers.
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88
2 cups of insecurity 4 ounces of comparison 1 cup of dinner not eaten. 5 cups of a mind in shackles 6 tablespoons of incomprehension 2 ounces of oblivious peers 3 cups of dinner not eaten. 3 teaspoons of phantom numbers 2 cups of anxiety 4 cups of mirrors smashed to bits 1 pint of self-hatred 4 cups of dinner not eaten. 1 tablespoon of depression 6 ounces of anger 2 pints of hopelessness 3 cups of self-inflicted scars 4 teaspoons of ribs in the mirror 5 cups of fainting on the stairs 1 gallon of dinner not eaten. 6 cups of grieving families 4 tablespoons of words unspoken 3 teaspoons of tears unshed. 2 cups of dusty belongings 4 gallons of friends never made 3 teaspoons of kisses never stolen a lifetime of words left unsaid. Melt insecurity and comparison and mix thoroughly with dinner not eaten. Mix a mind in shackles, incomprehension, and oblivious peers and add three more cups of dinner not eaten. Crush phantom numbers and anxiety and sprinkle over batter. Take each piece of mirrors smashed to bits and poke them carefully through self-hatred. Mix with four more cups of dinner not eaten. Melt depression, anger, and hopelessness and spread them thoroughly throughout the batter. Meticulously place self-inflicted scars visibly on top of the mixture. Cover with ribs in the mirror and fainting on the stairs. Mix with one gallon of dinner not eaten. Haphazardly toss in grieving families, words unspoken, and tears unshed. Mix with dusty belongings, friends never made, and kisses never stolen. Gather a lifetime of words left unsaid in a separate container. Take it outside and bury it. Do not mark the grave site.
0
Nov 14, 2013
Nov 14, 2013 at 11:27 PM UTC
recipe for perfection
2 cups of insecurity 4 ounces of comparison 1 cup of dinner not eaten. 5 cups of a mind in shackles 6 tablespoons of incomprehension 2 ounces of oblivious peers 3 cups of dinner not eaten. 3 teaspoons of phantom numbers 2 cups of anxiety 4 cups of mirrors smashed to bits 1 pint of self-hatred 4 cups of dinner not eaten. 1 tablespoon of depression 6 ounces of anger 2 pints of hopelessness 3 cups of self-inflicted scars 4 teaspoons of ribs in the mirror 5 cups of fainting on the stairs 1 gallon of dinner not eaten. 6 cups of grieving families 4 tablespoons of words unspoken 3 teaspoons of tears unshed. 2 cups of dusty belongings 4 gallons of friends never made 3 teaspoons of kisses never stolen a lifetime of words left unsaid. Melt insecurity and comparison and mix thoroughly with dinner not eaten. Mix a mind in shackles, incomprehension, and oblivious peers and add three more cups of dinner not eaten. Crush phantom numbers and anxiety and sprinkle over batter. Take each piece of mirrors smashed to bits and poke them carefully through self-hatred. Mix with four more cups of dinner not eaten. Melt depression, anger, and hopelessness and spread them thoroughly throughout the batter. Meticulously place self-inflicted scars visibly on top of the mixture. Cover with ribs in the mirror and fainting on the stairs. Mix with one gallon of dinner not eaten. Haphazardly toss in grieving families, words unspoken, and tears unshed. Mix with dusty belongings, friends never made, and kisses never stolen. Gather a lifetime of words left unsaid in a separate container. Take it outside and bury it. Do not mark the grave site.
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27
I ended up at the wrong time, in the wrong place, carrying a dead flashlight that instead of shining, offered me an elusive shape— a spectacle of shadows. What was a hand became a dog barking on the wall, or a ghost-rabbit vanishing into nothingness. My rational “I” still asks why, and I have no answer. I just smile with sadness: that was the script, that had to happen. Bittersweet medicine, already swallowed, the side effects dissolved. And I boarded another train. Writing? I only wanted an ordinary life, with some humor and a pinch of self-irony. Saturn joined, Saturn divided, at 8:18 a.m. Maybe we humans don’t have the stillness to break free from the pattern of silver rings made of dust and ice, imposed by an ego. Maybe we prefer the safety of the shadow, ice melts in daylight. My story: a new-old flat, my imperfect poems… Really? For this, I was made? I’m not a poet. I’m a living voice, taming incomprehension convincing myself that dawn is near, and I’m strong enough to rise, not looking anymore for cold mirrors.
0
Jun 20, 2025
Jun 20, 2025 at 4:45 AM UTC
Retrospection
majestic adjectives of contrary harmonies, adverbs in adversity that modify our satisfactions, gut punch our eyes, scramble the taste buds, now inoperable, incapacitated to distinguish what is disturbed - what is sweet - what is impossible. my days ending is nearer to my god than thee, the crumblings of what I’ve got left stale panko crumbs, here come they in 1000 radium-tipped projectiles of serious humorous self-destruction, gifted to you! my few itinerant followers peddlers brave enough to offer shelter, to follow me into the deeps of radioactive incomprehension, of no particular disorders a thousand times bless you richly, eachly, name announced, pronounced, we are all proper nouns.*
0
Jun 12, 2020
Jun 12, 2020 at 5:29 PM UTC
majestic adjectives, adverbs in adversity...
I look up at the chaos around me and see. I see people saying their last prayers, Waiting for their fateful endings, I hear the church bell toll in its last call, I feel the suffocating heat from the burning buildings, I smell the smoke from the ignited city, I taste the desperation in the air and the bitterness of regrets. But in the middle of this tumult, One thing stands out; One person. A little boy stands there in a tan attire, dark gray ash contrasting his almost-white hair and tears stains on his ivory cheeks. A grim expression marking his features, He shakes as if freezing and although the heat has almost become unbearable, he stands in the middle of the flames barefoot yet unharmed. A scythe lays at his feet, and a pale horse stands by his side, making his small body look even smaller. As if feeling my stare, he locks eyes with me. And as the world burns down, the reflection of the cataclysm in his brown eyes and the look of innocent incomprehension he wears is the single most heartbreaking thing in the moment. Suddenly, I do not care about the screams and cry of the despondent goners. I do not feel the harsh scorch of the burnt remains under my bare feet. I do not mind the tears welling up in my eyes due to the fumes. They are but a distant reminder of the atrocity surrounding me. I can only focus on the strange guilt reflected in his warm eyes. From those same eyes, a tear rolls down his cheeks And as it reaches his dimpled chin, he raises a little hand to wipe it away And then waves at me. I do not wave back, too stunned to move or react, But I could tell he did not expect me to anyways. With one last look, he picks up the scythe with an unusual easiness and turns to walk towards the flames, the horse close behind him. And soon, they are one with the flames.
0
Mar 26, 2019
Mar 26, 2019 at 8:47 PM UTC
Innocent Death
I look up at the chaos around me and see. I see people saying their last prayers, Waiting for their fateful endings, I hear the church bell toll in its last call, I feel the suffocating heat from the burning buildings, I smell the smoke from the ignited city, I taste the desperation in the air and the bitterness of regrets. But in the middle of this tumult, One thing stands out; One person. A little boy stands there in a tan attire, dark gray ash contrasting his almost-white hair and tears stains on his ivory cheeks. A grim expression marking his features, He shakes as if freezing and although the heat has almost become unbearable, he stands in the middle of the flames barefoot yet unharmed. A scythe lays at his feet, and a pale horse stands by his side, making his small body look even smaller. As if feeling my stare, he locks eyes with me. And as the world burns down, the reflection of the cataclysm in his brown eyes and the look of innocent incomprehension he wears is the single most heartbreaking thing in the moment. Suddenly, I do not care about the screams and cry of the despondent goners. I do not feel the harsh scorch of the burnt remains under my bare feet. I do not mind the tears welling up in my eyes due to the fumes. They are but a distant reminder of the atrocity surrounding me. I can only focus on the strange guilt reflected in his warm eyes. From those same eyes, a tear rolls down his cheeks And as it reaches his dimpled chin, he raises a little hand to wipe it away And then waves at me. I do not wave back, too stunned to move or react, But I could tell he did not expect me to anyways. With one last look, he picks up the scythe with an unusual easiness and turns to walk towards the flames, the horse close behind him. And soon, they are one with the flames.
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45
***“Who will judge, as many trudge through mud, mucking up the rug, a coating of clay formed by God on a particular day. Yet talent is ingrained, whether sane or insane, and verse is treasure or a curse, unrehearsed, dispersed for all to see, will they applaud or disparage, this marriage of mind and rhyme, by design aligned, a sign of the times...”*** ms. patty m ~~~ once again a thunderbolt command hits between the eyes, on-right the precise spot where the head aches with desire to fulfill the write! but to what can I add to this encompassing question already better answered by the questioner? who will judge indeed! all the time and far too often, the flotsam rises to the surface, when better left ignored, while the jetsam jets nowhere, buried deep though breathing yet, on unseen sea bottom of ignorance, luck of the draw by one who designs, who aligns, a capricious starscape in the firmament as well as the infirmity & ignominy of caskets lying quiet in sea trenches that the answer herein contained, a supposition, a poor poets speculation, a soul’s lactation, the very question is a cyclone bomb by competents who are blinded+bound+blessed by incomprehension the only judge and jury is your forefingers tip, if it tremble a-slight when caressing the key called send, your cellular fiber has adjudged worthy, and no dare disagree talent and distinction randomly and irrationally distributed, but the courageous caress of a send key pressed, is all that is needed to impress the only judge and jury that authorized you in advance to love yourself insanely well enough to write and to send for a request for sentencing
0
Mar 14, 2019
Mar 14, 2019 at 11:31 AM UTC
Who will judge?
***“Who will judge, as many trudge through mud, mucking up the rug, a coating of clay formed by God on a particular day. Yet talent is ingrained, whether sane or insane, and verse is treasure or a curse, unrehearsed, dispersed for all to see, will they applaud or disparage, this marriage of mind and rhyme, by design aligned, a sign of the times...”*** ms. patty m ~~~ once again a thunderbolt command hits between the eyes, on-right the precise spot where the head aches with desire to fulfill the write! but to what can I add to this encompassing question already better answered by the questioner? who will judge indeed! all the time and far too often, the flotsam rises to the surface, when better left ignored, while the jetsam jets nowhere, buried deep though breathing yet, on unseen sea bottom of ignorance, luck of the draw by one who designs, who aligns, a capricious starscape in the firmament as well as the infirmity & ignominy of caskets lying quiet in sea trenches that the answer herein contained, a supposition, a poor poets speculation, a soul’s lactation, the very question is a cyclone bomb by competents who are blinded+bound+blessed by incomprehension the only judge and jury is your forefingers tip, if it tremble a-slight when caressing the key called send, your cellular fiber has adjudged worthy, and no dare disagree talent and distinction randomly and irrationally distributed, but the courageous caress of a send key pressed, is all that is needed to impress the only judge and jury that authorized you in advance to love yourself insanely well enough to write and to send for a request for sentencing
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47
pride falling from a suspension bridge easy death leap sparks a final thrill ride splashing down with conclusive thudness an epic detritus skimming along the heave of long regretfull rivers buoyantly bobbing atop eddies of hubris cresting aimlessly into nothingness one way ticket expiration dates are strictly enforced on leapers but the final gulps of briney pride swallowed by loved ones chokes them in welling floods of unresolved incomprehension forcing the bereaved to forever swim in a churning flotsam during unexpired lifetimes Cab Calloway: Jumpin Jive Paterson 10/24/13 jbm
0
Oct 24, 2013
Oct 24, 2013 at 1:42 PM UTC
Pride Goes Before the Fall
You're always saying how you want to understand me But how can you when our conversations remain one sided- My speech is broken by a silence that should be filled with your own Yet I continue to speak to myself, never pausing to hear the sounds of silence My words stringing into sentences, rolling off my tongue with such poetic rhythm They cannot possibly make no sense, because they make perfect sense to me I must be speaking in a foreign language- yes, that must be it But surely in misunderstanding you would call a stop to my ranting Instead I am met with a blank expression followed by suspicious looks i don't understand Yes, you do.
0
Aug 15, 2013
Aug 15, 2013 at 7:27 PM UTC
understandable incomprehension
I sit before you a shadow of my former self, where once I would have reflected all that is you, Now I absorb your freely beamed energy, hoping to feel the way I did before so long ago My strength is my inner wisdom, not the outer shell; although still handsome some would say A depth of character resonates from “those eyes” dark black/brown still smouldering, still alive, knowing The delights of the body still wanting, occasionally satisfied, the mind plays tricks, for a while young again Ambition becomes survival; action becomes interest and discussion, finally knowledge and experience A struggle for acceptance or a path cut into my psyche through the ignorance of youth and inexperience or Was it the innocence of not knowing and the eagerness of an open mind with a thirst for facts and the truth. The incomprehension of reality continues to acceptance “I am older now” my life thus far an adventure, Limited by health and financial restriction, inventiveness rules the day, a shared belief a shared involvement.
0
Nov 25, 2012
Nov 25, 2012 at 6:55 PM UTC
Broken, but not destroyed!
Writing is easier than yelling out every emotions Writing is calming, a soothing voice –your own- dictating what to write Writing is an escape. Your thoughts move from their dark place inside your head, Travel Down your neck, Down Your arm, Feel the tension of your wrist as they go up, up, Up into your waiting hands, fingers ready to translate the vague into the precise Words tumbling down the ink of your pen. Writing is the blade I slash across my wrist to feel the pain Writing makes it visible. My emotions. Raw. On paper. Right. There. Like a line of blood dripping down the numbness of a hand rended useless by the power of sharp blades. My blood is my ink, and each day I bleed a little bit more onto the page, a little bit l o n g e r Each day I shed my invicible suit to put on my poet cloak For a few hours I pretend I'm a writer I bleed to death everynight and then come back to life the next morning I die everynight I peaceful sleep and when I wake up the blood is new. The blood is fresh. The blood is black. And I bleed again and again my anger, my sadness, my incomprehension, my fear, my love, my hate, my loneliness, my grand feelings I bleed them out My blood is my ink. My blade is my pen. My pain are the words. My redemption is the beauty of my pain I lie down and realize my blood doesn't disappear, doesn't wash out. No one can erase my death. Because I am once again alive And I will bleed forever.
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Sep 17, 2014
Sep 17, 2014 at 1:51 PM UTC
My blood is ink
the passage through time is quite uneasy imbedded in concrete; consciousness dreamy faces skewing, anemic monsters intricate patterns, enhances, obscures repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, incomprehension, incomprehension i can't continue, can't vacate i'm only human, my souls to take i discovered what it means to be when you can truly see the epiphany of heavenly monstrosity visions of a black hole theory i've seen all of time in one moment the future, the past, times of atonement lucid and frightful enlightening and grateful heartbeat steadies i think i'm ready to explore the world from a different standpoint and fully know this is not an endpoint it's forever changing and we're made for adapting our primal nature's to live i will never be held captive
0
May 10, 2010
May 10, 2010 at 8:33 AM UTC
Enigmatic Visions
Two goldfish in an endless game of tag. They rely apon unknown entitys for food, life. They do not try to escape. Knowing no better, they continue their lives in a state of incomprehension. Unaware of anything other than that which they know. Their memory spans moments, Washed away with the flick of a fin. And yet, I am jealouse of them.
0
Dec 31, 2014
Dec 31, 2014 at 7:06 AM UTC
The fishbowl
underneath. underneath my skin. incomprehension coils. occupies residence in. my soul. this soul. pettily grim. quibbling and nibbling. depleting sanity thin. my youth. this youth. a burden again? whimsical fallacies. maintained by the wind. painted by the waves. the echo of your name. fissures through my flesh. parallel to this vein. seeping. bleeding. pleasurable pain. but no wound to tend to. no one to blame. just this plentiful. bountiful. incomprehensible. stain. underneath. underneath your reign.
0
Nov 1, 2010
Nov 1, 2010 at 1:19 PM UTC
Pleasurable Pain
You heard all the things I never said in the empty silence between us. It's funny, when I say nothing at all I'm telling you everything. But when everything is nothing and nothing means everything, the words you don't hear can't exactly feel empty anymore. And it's not empty space surrounded between us, there are ghosts of the past flying by whispering chills down our spines. Our weak, foolish spines.... We are a throng of bones and blood that we tried putting together yet standing here in front of you I find I am only falling apart. The dissonance of our energies is weakening us, as are the futile attempts at mending something that was always broken. And what broke gave us scars that burned brighter than what we once had. Like the air between us, we are hesitant to move. Moving past and moving forward is as hard as two pedals on a bike going in opposite directions; we are broken but stuck chasing after one another in circles. We can get so close but never touch. I feel the swollen heartbreak from these missing puzzle pieces to our masterpiece We merely have pain and incomprehension of what we know but can't say To console the absence of space that will nevermore be complete. Wavelengths slow, saddened by our disconnection. Fighting no longer, all that is left to say does not need to be spoken And so we stand here in silence.
0
Dec 14, 2013
Dec 14, 2013 at 8:28 PM UTC
Broken Pedals
I can’t help somebody who thinks, or thinks he thinks, that editing a newspaper is censorship, or that throwing bricks is a demonstration while building tower blocks is social violence, or that unpalatable statement is provocation while disrupting the speaker is the exercise of free speech... Words don’t deserve that kind of malarkey. They’re innocent, neutral, precise, standing for this, describing that, meaning the other, so if you look after them you can build bridges across incomprehension and chaos. But when they get their corners knocked off, they’re no good any more, and Brodie (a character in the play, a would be writer) knocks their corners off. I don’t think writers are sacred, but words are. They deserve respect. If you get the right ones in the right order, you can nudge the world a little or make a poem which children will speak for you when you’re dead.
0
Dec 20, 2014
Dec 20, 2014 at 10:49 PM UTC
Tom Stoppard on Words (from his play, "The Real Thing")
The complete disarrangement of all my senses, myself my I Is threatened with the bitter sound of uncertain rumour That possesses an urgency of unwillingness An incomprehension of thought The improvised mediocrity of relished indignity Asinine questions, absurd and ludicrous probing Accusations and primitive propensities The deformities of exaggerated obscenities That blame and brand myself my I as mad They have stolen liars tongues
0
Apr 16, 2012
Apr 16, 2012 at 4:20 PM UTC
Insane Rumor
Blank minds offer anathema The usurious are sainted Devout all unknowing Indoctrinate fragmental ribonuclease Intentional homogenization Transfection for incomprehension Idiocracy I like it willing slaves and none the wiser
0
Oct 4, 2011
Oct 4, 2011 at 10:38 PM UTC
one nation
And Jesus said, "He who drinks from my mouth will become as I am and I shall be he" Gnostic Gospel of Thomas vs. 108 *1 They sang and they danced in praise of the Savior And I left the church I walked quickly and I was at the water's edge. A man waist deep offered to baptize me in the name of the Lord... And I did not stop Further on, a sorrowful Mother asked if perhaps I knew of her son Jesus… But I pretended not to hear. In the forest the twelve approached me with a message of good news... But I paid them no mind. 2 And when I came to a clearing I met a young man whom I had always known. His beard was unkempt and blood was dripping from wounds in his hands and feet. A crown of thorns sat upon his head, and blood trickled down his cheek. 'Do you know me?' he asked. 'Of course I know you!' I shouted. 'I left you behind at the church! At the river, one of your followers sought to baptize me and along the road a Mother spoke your name. In the forest, your apostles confronted me with your message. Did I not take my leave of them all? I thought I was rid of you, yet here you stand Tell me! Why do you haunt me? Why can I not leave you behind?' 3 He grabbed my shoulders and I felt the pain in all of my body and in all of my being and he asked me again: 'Do you know who I am?' 'You are the Christ!' I cried 'And I have heard your story from every church and holy man in the kingdom. But I want nothing to do with you! I want only to leave you behind and live my life At this he looked into my eyes and as his penetrating stare drew my senses to his being, his face began to change. He was one of the singing parishioners at the church. Then another, and another until the likeness of each one was in him. Then he was the man in the river and the Mother, and every one of the twelve and I stared in disbelief He began to take on the appearance of everyone I had ever known and even those I would never meet. His face was changing rapidly: African, Asian, Spaniard, European, From every race and every creed he became everyone who ever was and everyone who ever will be… A few I recognized. Mohamed, Caesar, the Buddha, Pontius Pilate, Krishna, Herod, Moses, Pharaoh. Faster and faster he changed until I was dizzy with incomprehension. Then, as quickly as it had begun, the celestial parade ceased. He was Jesus again, standing before me. His hands and feet caked in blood. The crown of thorns still resting atop his head. 4 'I do not understand,' I said. And he smiled. And again he looked into my eyes. 'You can never leave me behind.' And as he spoke he began to change again, And I found myself standing before another image. One I surely knew well. There… In the clearing of a forest that existed beyond the boundaries of space and time, I looked into my own eyes... And understood.*
0
Dec 17, 2011
Dec 17, 2011 at 5:16 AM UTC
Christ: A Personal Vision (a Christmas poem)
And Jesus said, "He who drinks from my mouth will become as I am and I shall be he" Gnostic Gospel of Thomas vs. 108 *1 They sang and they danced in praise of the Savior And I left the church I walked quickly and I was at the water's edge. A man waist deep offered to baptize me in the name of the Lord... And I did not stop Further on, a sorrowful Mother asked if perhaps I knew of her son Jesus… But I pretended not to hear. In the forest the twelve approached me with a message of good news... But I paid them no mind. 2 And when I came to a clearing I met a young man whom I had always known. His beard was unkempt and blood was dripping from wounds in his hands and feet. A crown of thorns sat upon his head, and blood trickled down his cheek. 'Do you know me?' he asked. 'Of course I know you!' I shouted. 'I left you behind at the church! At the river, one of your followers sought to baptize me and along the road a Mother spoke your name. In the forest, your apostles confronted me with your message. Did I not take my leave of them all? I thought I was rid of you, yet here you stand Tell me! Why do you haunt me? Why can I not leave you behind?' 3 He grabbed my shoulders and I felt the pain in all of my body and in all of my being and he asked me again: 'Do you know who I am?' 'You are the Christ!' I cried 'And I have heard your story from every church and holy man in the kingdom. But I want nothing to do with you! I want only to leave you behind and live my life At this he looked into my eyes and as his penetrating stare drew my senses to his being, his face began to change. He was one of the singing parishioners at the church. Then another, and another until the likeness of each one was in him. Then he was the man in the river and the Mother, and every one of the twelve and I stared in disbelief He began to take on the appearance of everyone I had ever known and even those I would never meet. His face was changing rapidly: African, Asian, Spaniard, European, From every race and every creed he became everyone who ever was and everyone who ever will be… A few I recognized. Mohamed, Caesar, the Buddha, Pontius Pilate, Krishna, Herod, Moses, Pharaoh. Faster and faster he changed until I was dizzy with incomprehension. Then, as quickly as it had begun, the celestial parade ceased. He was Jesus again, standing before me. His hands and feet caked in blood. The crown of thorns still resting atop his head. 4 'I do not understand,' I said. And he smiled. And again he looked into my eyes. 'You can never leave me behind.' And as he spoke he began to change again, And I found myself standing before another image. One I surely knew well. There… In the clearing of a forest that existed beyond the boundaries of space and time, I looked into my own eyes... And understood.*
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125
When I was in primary school An old friend told me that I was gay I didn't understand it 'I'm not gay', I denied to the last that it was true Even though I knew it But every time I thought of that sentence and took that with me A few years later I had a relationship with a guy Only there was something missing I didn't know what it was But during that relationship, I had feelings for a woman I denied to the last that I was in love with her Even though I knew it That made me hesitate Who am I? Then meeting one girl was all I needed to comfirm That I'm bi I was so in love with her Because of her I told my parents and all my friends I was never so beyond all doubt But then she became more and more doubtful Even though she is hurting me now I don't want to lose her and her incredible love One of the worst feelings in life I think Please, someone Wake me up from this big nightmare Because I don't understand love anymore
0
Dec 1, 2013
Dec 1, 2013 at 1:56 PM UTC
Incomprehension
bathtub overflowing, the kitchen sink a-running, water water everywhere, everybody, getting a wordy Saturday po-em, ahem, so only, lonely, love poetry, high pitches, whimpering, like a three year old chillun, why not me babe? why not me babe? words uttered somewhere, everywhere, hourly, maybe even screamed, sung, shouted outed, with total justification, incredulous incomprehension, my ticket unpunched, this fate, an indeterminate sentence, if only I had a penny for every utterance, be a multi-billionaire and still dissatisfied *the isolation au courant makes it a thousand times worse, sometimes, I hold my own hand, remembering what is touch, just not to forget, like a lazy eye, a missing limb needy for scratching, a sensating, sustaining pleasure that sorely disappoints, for the brilliance of it, is in its eclectic electric, and a solitary spark fizzles, swallowed up, into disappointing reveries my eyes wet themselves when I see letters airbone, floating, reforming, why not me babe? if mine eyes cannot catch another’s, no across-the-room thermometer saturating stare of farenheightened heat, what good this vision? left with a single despicable desperate cri du to my conurbation, why not me babe? my banana bread aroma flies out the open window to meet and be greeted across the street, with applause and affection, but our nostrils cannot taste, our lips forbidden, in this hell, why not me babe? the quietude so great, I hear the rhythmic breathing of one who could be my chosen, my one and only, my love poem, exhaling too, why not me babe? but the see-through curtain prohibits strangers exchanging ****** fluids, glances of possibility, and enraged, unengaged, smash all my mirrors, cause they don’t answer my question, why not me babe? it’s a reverberated echoing, a slap across my face, married to my cryout, a singular sensation of exasperated silence* pick up my brass decorative magnifying glass, with twisted ivory handle, examine my hands, my lips, my nose, my credit scores, my personal spaces, my declining weight and bank balance, each excuse, belief, the white spots decorating my sticking out tongue, thinking there’s another sense I’m forgetting, but all I recall is, why not me babe? why not me babe? and that is why only love poetry did not get a love poem today...
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May 16, 2020
May 16, 2020 at 11:00 AM UTC
everybody got a poem today, so why not love? (why not me babe?)
bathtub overflowing, the kitchen sink a-running, water water everywhere, everybody, getting a wordy Saturday po-em, ahem, so only, lonely, love poetry, high pitches, whimpering, like a three year old chillun, why not me babe? why not me babe? words uttered somewhere, everywhere, hourly, maybe even screamed, sung, shouted outed, with total justification, incredulous incomprehension, my ticket unpunched, this fate, an indeterminate sentence, if only I had a penny for every utterance, be a multi-billionaire and still dissatisfied *the isolation au courant makes it a thousand times worse, sometimes, I hold my own hand, remembering what is touch, just not to forget, like a lazy eye, a missing limb needy for scratching, a sensating, sustaining pleasure that sorely disappoints, for the brilliance of it, is in its eclectic electric, and a solitary spark fizzles, swallowed up, into disappointing reveries my eyes wet themselves when I see letters airbone, floating, reforming, why not me babe? if mine eyes cannot catch another’s, no across-the-room thermometer saturating stare of farenheightened heat, what good this vision? left with a single despicable desperate cri du to my conurbation, why not me babe? my banana bread aroma flies out the open window to meet and be greeted across the street, with applause and affection, but our nostrils cannot taste, our lips forbidden, in this hell, why not me babe? the quietude so great, I hear the rhythmic breathing of one who could be my chosen, my one and only, my love poem, exhaling too, why not me babe? but the see-through curtain prohibits strangers exchanging ****** fluids, glances of possibility, and enraged, unengaged, smash all my mirrors, cause they don’t answer my question, why not me babe? it’s a reverberated echoing, a slap across my face, married to my cryout, a singular sensation of exasperated silence* pick up my brass decorative magnifying glass, with twisted ivory handle, examine my hands, my lips, my nose, my credit scores, my personal spaces, my declining weight and bank balance, each excuse, belief, the white spots decorating my sticking out tongue, thinking there’s another sense I’m forgetting, but all I recall is, why not me babe? why not me babe? and that is why only love poetry did not get a love poem today...
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36
Unforeseen flowers bobbing a wind's forever heyday... submerged as if coral. I could fit my valley into the shadow, and shadow into its death with such balance. What's overcome is sworn to secrecy...formulaic, rotund and malignant what was prayer...even by all the loose interpretation it suffocated the uneven, as unknown factors of the life it's put to. Here, as here is always concerned--it seems fruit of Garden variety grows as to confine its worm. It is here, as here is always concerned--I turn worm-ward... to ultimately reveal nothing--linger coolly and repulsively. We've an aversion to things that burrow and avert grasp-- a reward goes out for the head, or piece of such a thing from the selfsame head. Why is it our prayers are sent forth to expel the evils we've gathered? Prayer's construct is meant to be singular as it stands... heartfelt--airtight in its sentiment. Thus, by such definition I believe prayer is no longer prayer--as it is here, as here is always concerned. If you were to visualize such a prayer, the object of devotion would become the objects of devotion to overcome, conquer the God appealed to. As an egoist is devoted to the objects of his/her nature... as it were, an object may slip, avert the worm of such prayer. Hence, what does prayer become when its clasped fingers curl under the spell of a blackening ****** Power lust, the bending, curling of will in prayer form shape-shifts, and is submitted to God as prayer. A loathsome possession of plummeting powers feeling for themselves in adoration at every odd, and odder angle. As prayer was meant to be the prodigal son/daughter's offering to the disclosed, yet undisclosed infinite... here, as here is always concerned, the line lies to its end to forego what is endless...unforeseen flowers bobbing a wind's forever heyday...submerged...as if coral. Of prayer, now--clasped hands die upon one another, come to separately...without even the capacity to unify such experience. O hands of duality--meant to meet of prayer...kiss of life, for kiss of death. Such hands are fit for a prayer viewed by a shaman upon the deepest cave wall, fireside. As if two serpents deeply kissing, open-mouthed...world to world experience is offered up...volleyed, interlocked by and by...till God intuited as to appease such intimate impossibility. Who, or what could wish to keep at bay such words of being...thereupon to release them to The Word? Why...none other than we, so cherished by our incomprehension it's founded us...and thus we must pray! These two hands taken as token...as it is here, as here is always concerned--I could fit my valley into the shadow... and shadow into its death with such balance.
0
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 2:27 PM UTC
Self-posited Prayer
Unforeseen flowers bobbing a wind's forever heyday... submerged as if coral. I could fit my valley into the shadow, and shadow into its death with such balance. What's overcome is sworn to secrecy...formulaic, rotund and malignant what was prayer...even by all the loose interpretation it suffocated the uneven, as unknown factors of the life it's put to. Here, as here is always concerned--it seems fruit of Garden variety grows as to confine its worm. It is here, as here is always concerned--I turn worm-ward... to ultimately reveal nothing--linger coolly and repulsively. We've an aversion to things that burrow and avert grasp-- a reward goes out for the head, or piece of such a thing from the selfsame head. Why is it our prayers are sent forth to expel the evils we've gathered? Prayer's construct is meant to be singular as it stands... heartfelt--airtight in its sentiment. Thus, by such definition I believe prayer is no longer prayer--as it is here, as here is always concerned. If you were to visualize such a prayer, the object of devotion would become the objects of devotion to overcome, conquer the God appealed to. As an egoist is devoted to the objects of his/her nature... as it were, an object may slip, avert the worm of such prayer. Hence, what does prayer become when its clasped fingers curl under the spell of a blackening ****** Power lust, the bending, curling of will in prayer form shape-shifts, and is submitted to God as prayer. A loathsome possession of plummeting powers feeling for themselves in adoration at every odd, and odder angle. As prayer was meant to be the prodigal son/daughter's offering to the disclosed, yet undisclosed infinite... here, as here is always concerned, the line lies to its end to forego what is endless...unforeseen flowers bobbing a wind's forever heyday...submerged...as if coral. Of prayer, now--clasped hands die upon one another, come to separately...without even the capacity to unify such experience. O hands of duality--meant to meet of prayer...kiss of life, for kiss of death. Such hands are fit for a prayer viewed by a shaman upon the deepest cave wall, fireside. As if two serpents deeply kissing, open-mouthed...world to world experience is offered up...volleyed, interlocked by and by...till God intuited as to appease such intimate impossibility. Who, or what could wish to keep at bay such words of being...thereupon to release them to The Word? Why...none other than we, so cherished by our incomprehension it's founded us...and thus we must pray! These two hands taken as token...as it is here, as here is always concerned--I could fit my valley into the shadow... and shadow into its death with such balance.
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57
preface. majestic adjectives of contrary harmonies, adverbs in adversity that modify our satisfactions, gut punch our eyes, scramble the taste buds, now inoperable, incapacitated to distinguish what is disturbed - what is sweet - what is impossible. my days ending is nearer to my god than thee, the crumblings of what I’ve got left, stale panko crumbs, here come they in 1000 radium-tipped projectiles of serious humorous self-destruction, gifted to you few itinerant followers brave enough to follow me into the deeps of radioactive incomprehension, in no particular disorders a thousand times
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Jul 14, 2019
Jul 14, 2019 at 12:16 PM UTC
preface. majestic adjectives of contrary harmonies
I can clearly remember the moment I realized my daddy wasn’t perfect. We were in the kitchen, and it was dark outside. He said of course gay people should be allowed to see their loved ones in the hospital and such, but he wasn’t sure they should be allowed to get married. It was disorienting in ways I can’t begin to describe. You just expect things, think there are things in life that are certain, and then your dad isn’t sure gay people should be allowed to get married. There is not a measurement to explain how much my dad loves me, It is without bounds. I know that. Of that, I am still certain. But I’ll always have that memory of incomprehension, when he separated people into an “us” and a “them” and I think maybe I was supposed to be in the them column. We haven’t really talked about it since, because if he still feels the same, I’m not sure I can handle knowing that. To this day, that’s the only part of him that I’d change.
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May 11, 2011
May 11, 2011 at 12:55 AM UTC
a love letter to my dad
I was at a bar, Against my will, I don’t drink… Alcohol. The people laughing, Hollering, Wallowing, And swallowing the Brew to a counterfeit Reality… A reality of invincibility, A reality of incomprehension, A reality of abstract visions, A reality of indiscipline, A reality of the minds, A reality of blurriness, A reality of sheer… UTTER Stupidity. They stutter and stumble, They rock and **** They slam and slam More brewed bogus Reality. They call it an escape, But while in that faux-reality They forget; There is no reality More genuine, More intricate, More perplexing, More marvelous, More sobering, Than one within sobriety, Made from all Natural ingredients.
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Mar 14, 2017
Mar 14, 2017 at 5:15 AM UTC
at a bar
Somewhere in between right and wrong decisions fall into rain dissipating delusion into starry nights of understanding bringing meaning to abstraction drawing love from attraction eradicating hybrid thought from incomprehension. Only through what is not meant to be understood can a man hold his emotions like pressure points drawn on dolls rising like the bubble that almost made it to air but burst on the surface of silence.
0
May 26, 2012
May 26, 2012 at 11:12 AM UTC
In Between