I wanna live an absurd
I wanna live in pain
I wanna feel excitment
And dance in colored rain

You are the one who made me
Feel alive again
You are the one who taught me
Cruel rules of this sweet game

You are my grug, my teacher
My love, my dark champagne
In my dreams you're the torture
My absurd, my bright pain

Today I lost a dear friend.
She loved with unconditional love;
the type you can not buy or barter
she would instinctively know when I was near
and would wait patiently by the front door
a 6th sense beyond what we see or what we hear
what we think we heard or what we thought we saw.

She had golden hair with flecks of mottled brown
smiling eyes that knew friend from foe
loyally walk side by side
without fear in the darkest places
where ever we would go

I remember that time before;
id broken up with a girl of 5 years
she knew something hidden was very wrong,
although I hid the tears, let the feelings cower
she sat upon my legs, a paw on each shoulder
nestled her head into my neck
and hugged me for at least an hour

She was a lady of grace,
with the poise of pedigree
with an open heart for those close she loved;
her immediate family, close friends and me.

She would've made a winning frisbee catcher
that'll be the greyhound whippet in her genes
zig zag sprinting faster than the wind itself
hares and foxes was her excited prize
lay low among the undergrowth unseen
other than her piercing forever watching eyes

Yesterday, like any other day she dug for stones
chased her reflection on the water
and stood guard as we slept
little did we know the excitment of a fox to chase
would stop her heart and for hours after
my father, who kept his emotions in check,
was left speechless and bereft  
as he uncontrollably wept.

Today I lost a dear friend,
a companion like no other
an amalgamated sense of loss,
like a sister from another mother.

Her last breaths, there are no words
to look upon her slowly glazing eyes
wrapped in a shroud and placed in a box
she will be sorely missed
departed from the ones she loved
to the land of the chasing fox;
muted words exchanged -
the last goodbye
the forever kiss.

Corrie
Rest in Peace
1999 - 2013

I can barely contain the excitement
Of holding the one I adore
Love deep and unrequited
Her form what my arms were made for
Her smile brighter than the sun
Her voice a chorus of beauty
Her eyes deeper than the ocean
And ******* she's got one fine *****

My sister is a dreamcatcher dancing in the wind. Following every gust of excitment, every breath of desire; she collects passerbys dreams and leaves sunlight in her wake.

My breath short speechless and wrenching
as your hand brushes across my stomach
delicate and concentrated
Painting a picture
a step closer and your face is beside mine
I rest my face on your neck
eyes closed in acceptance
the way your hips move
slow and seductive
lure me into leaning in for the motion
your gaze dilated and glazed
full of lust and excitment
my chest beats so close to yours
as beads of sweat form upon it
The heat in these moments is
hotter than hell and
I cant seem to get enough of it
You pin my hands to the wall
and I kiss you in surrender and submission
The way things are going I'll fight the dawn
and delight in this night forever

A buzzing in the air
excitment
We're finally leaving
lets go already
Just another hour..
We've been waiting all year
All the saving finally paying off
It's here. It's here.
So tune up those strings.
*We're here to play

When the clock strikes at four
my mind will not be at rest anymore,
when the clock strikes at four
this little energy i have will be fully drained,
these pillars of mine will be very weak
and unstable to hold my body  anymore.

When the clock strikes at four
i will be tired of forgetting,
my hand will not be able to keep the pen dancing,.my thoughts will be saturated by you
i cannot do it anymore
i can hardly bare sitting here anymore.

Its a Friday
After such a long day yesterday.
Tomorrow is Saturday
And thanks God that i will be home tonight.
I shall fail to cope because my mind roams in thoughts
saturated by my plans for tomorrow.

It is 8o'clock on the wall,
the moment for me to start trying to solve for X's
at nine i will have to retell the story of Animal Farm,
the death of Othello and anylse those poems.
At 10:30 i will be free
an additional language always makes my day.
But when the clock strikes at one
my soul will be gone and my body will be shut down,
i shall await for the clock to strikes 3:30
before some little excitment kicks in.

When the clock strikes at four,
i shall carry my bags with me and
get drifted away by the wind like
chaff.
I shall find my way home,
only to get a peace of mind and a hot bath.
And then think about you until i nearly drawn,
when the clock strikes at four,
i know i will be going home today.

It's after the magic happens.
It's our own personal time, when time stops,
When our eyes make four, and in that moment my heart drops.

We understand that no place is better than here.
Where love in our hearts is the only imperative thing,
Our fingers entwine, I'm your Queen and you're my king.

Everything about you seems different, yet somehow still the same.
Here you have my heart, you can be the  puppeteer,
I don't mind the submission, I'll gladly volunteer.

You have my undivided attention because the look we're giving each other cannot be divided.
Your body is warm like a summer's day,
I can't for the life of me explain this feeling in my chest, not even in the most simplest way.

I'm speaking but your eyes are focused on my lips.
Forgetting what I said, I'd rather not bother,
It's probably two minutes, maybe ten, but it feels like forever.

The emersion of the sun breaks our gaze.
Now it's that time again to cut our ties,
It's unfortunately time to say our goodbyes.

I yearn for our time once again.
With an aching heart I give you the final kiss,
You leave and the sweet smell of your perfume is stuck on my body, that I'll truly miss.

I look through the window.
You open the cardoor.
"Wait", I silently say, but you could hear me no more,
As you go to put one foot in, an abrupt pause I saw.

It's like your heart heard mine.
A sharp turn and there you run,
The sound of the door open proves that both our hearts beats to the same drum.

I stood there, and multiple the emotions hit me all at once.
You were like a cagged animal being set free,
Fright, happiness, excitment...all rapidly came over me.

In your arms you held me, as we manage to make it up the stairs.
The atmosphere is silent, cool and absolutely beautiful,
Your skin seems to glow more, I could see into your soul, it's wonderful.

Back to the bedroom we walked.
For after we made magic, we would pillowtalk.
                     ~Gabbriella with 2 b's~

skater kids doing flip tricks
motion of a jelly fish
they glide
they move faster then space and time
in thier minds
there rulers of this city
and how they make it look so pretty
they tremble with excitment
carvin there names into history
twish twish the sound of there shoe laces rubbin the pavement
they roll front and center
spray paint cans in hand
tag there names across the land
bandanas cover there faces
they leap the staircases
they are merely a imagination
swoop in grab a few cases
drink while they ride
taking pictures of the night sky
with no camera
but plenty of eyes
oh how they move
the wind carries them in a silent groove
how do we understand this nature
of kids kicking and pushing into a future
full of trial and error
they have there own flavor
a taste of danger
aromas of marijuana lingure
in the crisp air
the wind flows through thier hair
they have not one care
they have there own melody
metal clinking
wheels scrapping
car horns screaming
as they come flying into traffic
because that gap could've been tragic
when they land it
they know that it was some kid of magic
they kick on pushing
wheels creaking like floor boards in the attic
tired they ride till the sun brings its shine
when all there wonders can be seen by any traveling eye

Soundwaves Break
Vibrating through as
his heart swells
Building up sensations
an unignorable spell
Releasing an excitment
so divine he slides
out of his hiding
and begins to rise

I saw her on the side of the road
Her thumb was scrapping the sky
I couldn't believe what I was seeing
She was standing where love goes to die

I asked, "Where you headed hon?"
She just smiled and climbed on in
I put my love life back into gear
But she was just lookin' for sin

"This is as far as my heart will go"
She made it clear to me
"I just like the honeymoon
And that's all it's gonna be"

She was ready to double-down on love
Even though she had no idea what came next
It didn't matter if she won or lost
Her heart was used to writing that check

I was maybe just the next ace
But gambling was her life
She just liked the excitment
She didn't care if she became my wife

This is as far as her heart will go
She made it clear to me
She just likes honeymoons
A beauty queen won't settle down for free

For a moment I thought I saw it
She was telling me she's been hurt before
Just when I thought she might settle down
She started looking at the door

This is as far as her heart will go
Just to the next stop
She'll ride with you for a while
But soon you'll be alone on that blacktop

Act , with a a Pen in Your Hand
Claim Now Your Decree
He is Mine
Just as You Are
That's my Flame
A Heart for a Mind
A Body for the Flesh
Instant Messanger of the Soul
Ravi's Wife
For the Moment Calls Me
to Its Excitment
And It's Lust

just a sliver of silver
the orb's bright edge
peeking out behind a dull gray silhouette
falling to the horizon
in line with L. A.'s flight path
the darkness came early tonight
will the stars come out
in the moonlessness?

once laid my back in pitch black
on the sand at the Salton Sea
sky gazing
excitment stole my sleep
as eye witnessed the galaxy
is it an illusion
like water in the desert
or are the stars so numerous they appear milky?

I look for him in winter
three close stars in a straight line
Orion watches over scorpions and dogs
I follow the Big Dipper
pointing to the North Star
sky's center
the mother of all constellations
they encircle her
each telling her their stories in turn
the Ancients looked up and listened
transcribing what they thought they heard

now-a-days
with science preferred to mythology
and exact measurements to imagination
the stars twinkle silently
mocking us in mute mystery
and unshared secrets
gaze upward in wonder of the tales they hold
paying homage to their beauty and tranquility
listen carefully and patiently for their whispers
you may still hear a story or two
as they teach us to dream

I feel, I love, I cry.
All the time I feel something, maybe passion maybe anger maybe sadness maybe excitment.
But i never stop feeling.

I find myself conpletley lost in my imagination lots of the time.
I find myself confused, never knowing what to think or do or say.

I see myself as never good enough, i want to be like the others.
I see myself as ugly or fat or too skinny or full of spots or stupid or a nerd.

What am I?
I'm a normal teenage girl, trying to find herself.

It's like a distant call of a well known ghost.
Change breath's heavy apon the wind.
She yerns to know the other end of rejection.

Two broke souls rich in the passion of a uncertin day.
No money can touch that excitment of  just what comes next.
Sweet mercey  we exist on a favor we cant repay.


A old radio and room no bigger than   postage stamp.
***** windows give the best moonlit visions indeed.
Five star dream's I'll take a greezy burger and cold beer
my  hand inbetween her thighs.

Her eye's speak the  direction we shall take.
A devilish grin a twisted snake of plessure
leading to a old bed's dusty retreat.

But millions can't taste this moment.
Inside her plessure I grasp a key turned towards
the locked vessel to which she does give.

My nights are rich in splendor.
And  a endless river  in thought.

That inexplicable fluttering in the stomach
a feeling in the air almost like held breath
if you keep still and silent
you can almost hear something coming
not music
not voices
but a silent tension that heralds
and i feel if i wait long enough
something exciting is going to happen
to me
any second now
if i can just keep still and quiet enough...
although what i expect to happen at my age
i don't know
it happens at the begining of every summer
and I feel a girl again
full of breathless inexplicable excitment
where you know anything can happen
and will...

I remember the first time I laid eyes upon you.
My heart raced with excitment,
palms sweaty,
nervous speech.
We exchanged out letters, snuck down to the river to see you.
Exchanged kisses and stories.
I remember asking myself... Is this lust or love?
The often confused quote.
I left home for you,
got engaged to you,
tried for kids with you,
wanted a life with you,
and never stopped.
Things began to fade... Lust or love? Lust or love, I would think...
I cornered myself with this question, never knowing the answer.
Now looking back...
Love.
Lust doesn't burn like this. Lust doesn't feel this way...
That question ruined us, and you don't even know.
You had no idea of this part of me,
how icy of me.
I'm cruel, i'm rude, i'm human.
Don't fall for lust.

Delighted and gleeful
Anxious and exhilarated
Gitty and Filled with joy
Seeing new angles
Switching the plot
Making everyone around you see in a new light
Filled with hope
Filled with excitment
Each and everyone saying theyre gonna change the world
But who has proven themselves?

/                                   donald trump is here?!
   on these splendid, splendid isles?!
                                      really?
  where was the past week?

good thing that i bought
that johnnie walker red label
especially for the occassion -

    without actually knowing it was
to take place...

    i guess you might call
watching protests on t.v.
       a bit like:
                going to an illegal rave
party in an abandoned
                               industrial building
somewhere in
       dagenham, or shoreditch,
                            or 'ackney...

britain is not getting what it already
wants -
                       i can understand blatant
flattery, and airs, monsieur,
             monsieur bleu, rouge et blanc...

the one time that britain looks...
bedazzled?!
                               frizzy haired...
the sort of comic sketch
of a **** scene where the man wakes
up having sobbed himself
to sleep, in a disney cartoonish
way expressing frightened awe
and the words:

     [what] the **** just happened?

   'ave a tongue for a ****, mate.

- honest to god though:
   where have i been for the past week?!
i've paid attention to the football -

croissants, or, chequers?!
  hmm...
                   oi! two face, what's
your gamblers' pundit?
                    
                         - let the slavic sub-plot
'ave it,
              if goran (ivanišević)
     could do it, this ******* litter can do it,
given they reached the semi-finals
in 1998...
          
                      and believe me:
   some people...
                    are really jealous of the chessboard
representation on fabric, shh...

or at least that's what i whispered
into the ear of lucifer,
        hermitage's secondary
    (only to achilles)
                       schwarz, mouse-catcher;

and if i'm wrong -
     then i'm wrong:
     but since i don't actually gamble using
money...
      i tap into the emotional
excitment of gambling -
   within the confines of expectation
of being right...

               somehow, gambling,
       but where what i bet with is... zeit...
and grooving to boris brejcha,
tantra of a DJ set...
                   **** me via my ears
and call me Sally...
                              
                         ­     nod nod nod...
(ten minutes later):
   nod nod nod...
          (15 minutes later):
   nod nod nod (with an added
drumkit imitation of the whole
body starting to form a scary shadow
of a man sitting down

before a blank pixel screen
   seeing letters and words appear
like a god might
see stars, and constellations appear
in the dark, dark: voooooooooo
                      'oid)

  which is no proof that i made
a hiccup.                                                          /

Do you hear bells?
Your words escaped with a gentle urgency.
Our bodies glistening in the soft light.
I heard no bells.
I stopped and strained to hear anything over my quickened breath.
Over the roar of our passion burning hot,
I tried so hard to hear the bells over the battle drum that was my heart.
Boom boom boom.
But no bells.
I try again and strain my ears, struggling to hear the faintest ring.
Yet No bells.
I hear bells! you say with a passionate excitment.
I look up into you face.
My mind and body lost in a fog.
I feel myself begin to smile.
I see the way you glow.
As a smile slowly appears upon your face,
As my hand runs absently across your skin ,
I try again to hear the bells,
But no bells.
That night as I lay in bed alone,
Sleepless, My thoughts stuck on you
Your taste, your touch, the soft caress of your voice,
No bells.
I think back to the way you looked when you first asked "do you hear bells?"
The way you looked so excited, so awe struck, so beautiful,
That thought, that memory, hanging on as my eyes finally start to close.
And As I fall into a gentle sleep
I realize I can hear the bells.

Love,
Easy to say,
Difficult to explain,
And a challenge to act upon.

What then do i call this?
For at first sight i think i may be in love,
looking at you my heart feels like its shoting out.

To much excitment my body has generated static energy,
And all i need is you to make me sparkle.

A short night it has become,
Wishing to get a more greater glimps at you.
Oh my! Oh my!
Could it be love?

Why the love
if it didn't even
sell the soul
If it didn't even clothe the naked
why do you get choices
& It always causing choosing a hole to fill again
runes in antler.  anthology lending itself to a bandged roadkill
**** I keep hitting it again
stopping on my trip to pick it up again
and consuming psychic vampires. highest excitment

Put my hands on you and let you in on how it feels to be around You

Push my Excitement out from my body to fill the little spaces between Us

Do you feel it yet so nervous it makes you forget all the things that once mattered

When I say your name I have to make sure not to smile too big

You’re not the kind I'll get over, You’re the kind that in time my mind puts away so I can carry on

Everyday there is something I want to share with you

Put my hands on you so you can feel this nervous excitment that claims me everytime

There is no chance of finding another like you

Finally writing for someone who’s worth every single word but it’s the same **** story

So I’ll Show you the ways that I’ve deemed to personal for anyone to know

With my hands on you.. you may just come to find no one holds you as high as I do

You’re not the kind you get over, you’re the one I’ll always remember

And I bow down to him,
In excitment and grace.
Smiling, loveing,
Praising His name.
The One that I can thank for it all,
The One that proves,
He'll catch me if I fall.
The closer I get,
The bigger the smile.
I have never felt like this.
Forevers been a while.
This is what I've always been looking for,
He quitely waited for me to choose the right door.
He'll be with me Forever.
Give me eternal life.
No one understands
Hell is as cold as ice.
Find Him now.
He's patiently waiting.
Do it now,
There's no need for debating.
He will show you the love you've forever searched for.
Wrap his arms around you,
You'll need nothing more!


Foever doesn't mean
Love of life.
It wasnt invinted
For husband and wife.
I now know
He is the something Ive always searched for
The statement is true
One that closes opens the next door!! :-) Have a Blessed Day!!!

There was never so much Light
All that Love Being
Brilliantly Being
Never the Darkness
Children Born Happy
Blinding Light Broken Open
Everywhere Gyrating Joy
With calm Darkness
Waiting to Give Birth
A Living Hive of Light
Mother to Them All
Surprise Awakening
Sudden Feeling Everything's Wishes
Her Magic
Never Knowing  
Their Hunger was Her Food
Dance of Solar System Imbibing
Touching Touching Claiming Claiming
Wanted to Return Home
Simply To Say Thank You!
For the Excitment Was Real
Night Dance Miraculous
Universe of Wisdoms Order
Divine Intelligence
Knowing of the Cell
Baraconda

Once upon a time
I was your little girl
I didn't know of heaven or cared about hell as I slept in your arms
The resonance of your voice was sweeter than any lullaby as I slept in your arms...
Once upon a time
I used to look up to a giant,
my doubts, my fears: inexistent
Once upon a time
turbulence did not dared to touch me
as you held me tight to your warm

What happened to my fairy tale land?
I climbed a beanstalk to never return to you,
I grew as you became little,
Disappointment never failed to show,
as I lost faith in you
And you...you lost me
...I was your little girl once, everything was okay as long as you held my hands
But, it was you who forgot
the excitment of having a little girl,
the joy of seeing me grow
it was you, who missed...
What do you hold dear now days?
I honestly do not wish to know
You took a magic eraser and erased your little girl,
I still haven't found the magic that would make me return...
Or the spell to bring back the man I barely knew...

"Hey It's me",  replied my reflection
Startled by the voice , I look at her.
      A lovely smile on her face,
      Blushes on her cheek,
      Perfect glow beyond imagination.
I came closer to watch her carefully.
She was full of excitment.
World seemed a positive aura.
        Rubbing my eyes I just stared at her.
   ****,  I missed her smile.
   Missed the love look in her eyes.
Surrounded in hustle-bustle , I never noticed her.
For me , she was seraph of the moment.
"How's your life"? She asked next.
      Her words thundered in my body.
      Look on her face was sarcastic.
  Something I had lost long, something I still could become...
       Mirror of my life was in front.

Heavy foot steps and lead laeden words.
Trying to create sense of this emergancy of birds.
Predators hiding lurking in the laminate
sealed in with a kiss the layers are feeling permanant.
Clear obsidion mixed with volcanic ash.
Crushing down on me, im gasping for breath.
Shaking like a mountain just before the eruption
trying to remove myself from this plastic corruption.
Daisies die in feilds..
Deers burn as the air horns call out the catastrophy.

You all need to run from me.

Silence in my self, I am no longer seeking
i need to break free and sing just as birds sing.
Calling out the warning; shaking up the evergreens.
its all interconnected.
Hyperspatail turbulance im screaming in my bed
im worried
im afraid
im trying
its working
i think that the plastic might just be burning
the toxic
the posion
its all gassing off from me
dont breath me
i feel like its something.


I could just be werid. Relaxing in turbines, i think im just trying and poems lead to calm minds.

Make sense of me. Make sense of you.
And you.
And you.
Im caought up in the subterfuge.  Capracioisly grapsing
for what im not sure.

Cattawompus canyons are cut into my heart. Im so confused information on piecharts
, the values dont match
the legend is misleading.
God seems to be warrenting this healing.
Kicking in the door
creating a dizzy storm.
Cyclopeon rage
stolen from days of yore..

Its time to let go.
Its time to grow.

Just understand me . just for a breif moment. I am harmless. I am less. I am lost. I need rest..

A bunch more words too honest too painful. I write poems to unleash all that is shameful.

This hurts.

This is needed.

I am bleeding.

Just so I am.

Just living.

Just leaving.

Just kidding.

Just bidding.

Betting.
On when its all ganna explode.
On when the subroutiunes will need a defrag machine when the bios gets corrupted when the system wears down when i will stand in the light looking like a ******* clown.
Because i trusted.

Why is this so hard?
I am 24 years old and cant drive a mother ******* car.
Fear is a disease that i can not squah on my own
a whole battallion of star ships need to warp into my home and disrupt the radio frequencies that speak to me
in dreams the nightmares unending the face grips and rending my cheek bones are tensing my teeth are condensing milkbones and raw tones

This excitment inside me
burns out the live feed
darkness envolopes mailed sent by trumpet
these echos of my thoughts
repeat the words taought
like liar and loser you dumb ******* ****** acomplish not nothing but your something is ******* just so god ****** worthless they all wait for your face to turn to a frowning grimice of you drowning you floundering ****** you sociatial ****** you cautious cat crawling as dogs get the tasties of life while your wasting your time just complainging this echo echo chamber needs to be ******* obliterated. A star dust deconstruction and rebuilding of the most primitive functions.

Take me from my own head.
I made my bed.
Id lie in it. But. Its made of my own meat and guts.

Friends
.. I need your ******* help.

Just.
Be you. Perfect.

I trust you. Despite what these echos say bouncing in my brain.

Just.

This is too much.

Just.

I think im just werid..

Just.

Please dont run.

Humans can be cruel
am left to reminisce on the brutality
The look on  your faces
Excitment, fears and tears

Why do you invent things that will harm you
Overwhelming your brain
I've heard violence begets more of it
all alone in a world gone mad
next time I'll pull the world underneath you

You defame death
but life made you suffer
I promise you life after death
Or maybe the sun won't rise tomorrow
Life isn't fun
till you see your enemies jealous
I promise you
today death will be more painful

I'll turn you into a morgue
****** with much enthusiasim
my intentions are wicked
thoughts lethal
I've set out to conquer
very sinful, fearless secrets

You say it's time to
test the waters.
Are my waters too hot or too cold?
Are my waters too deep or too shallow?
Are my waters rapid-streams or stilled and stagnant?

Do you test my waters for its impurities,
for its abundance, for its content?
Does your manifestation of myself
bubble with excitment?
Will your love norms succumb to your desire?

Myself, bestowed to me, and at this moment,
I have not the inkling about your water judgement.
But only a few flirtatious idiosyncrasies.
Am I the only one to be judged?
The only way to find out is it to leap into and feel
my warm soft-flowing immersion and myself
into your warmth...

When I look into the mirror,
i dont know what i should see
my reflection is unclear
should i see the younger me?

The days have come and gone
the years have flown by
now its time to say bye dad, by mom
you've given me the tools i need to fly

When i look into the mirror,
i see myself for who i am
a young man full of excitment and fear,
but dont worry sir, madame

This is not a farewell,
but a thank you
it's a new chapter for me to excel
without you two i wouldn't know what to do

I love You Mom
I Love You Dad
mom, thanks for being so calm
dad, thanks for teaching me to add

When i look into the mirror,
i know what i see
something i know won't disappear
the love you have for me...

Sitting under an apple  tree
This evening seeming quiet different

Unusual,but cool... Weird
But amazing...
The breeze calms my nerves
As I sit
On my fathers armchair...

Passerby murmurs..
Kids beam with excitment
Running helter skelter
In and out of the yard
Across the street,
This sights I can hold on to

"When is the sherperd coming to town?"
"Let's await Him at the golden temple"...
"With olive palms on his sheep to rode"

A little girl with no blouse on
But just her pant dangling on her thigh..  mutter out loud the scripted above..
Only then,did it dawn on me
Why the night seems different
Its Easter Eve.
2014