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Hidden Glade Oct 2018
I told you once that when you smiled the world stopped spinning
But what I should’ve said was that when you smile, my world keeps spinning.

Sunrises are beautiful, yes, but have you ever stared into your lovers eyes after she says I love you?
Sunsets have so many wonderful colors, but so does her face when you say she’s beautiful...
The moon may fill the night sky with a bright glow, but nothing compares to watching you enter a room, Love.

Stars twinkle in the night sky but all I can think about is that spark behind your eyes...

I know it’s cheesy, but the only reason I compare you to things so very far away is because you are.
Oct 2018 · 106
Higher Scarifices
Hidden Glade Oct 2018
We inter-wove
Our lives
Along the damaged
Homes we shared

Somehow,
Against all odds
Defying time after time
Never really losing
Even after a year
That Love
Somehow
Someday

Together.
Oct 2018 · 270
Panic
Hidden Glade Oct 2018
I’m not alright
Maybe it’s just tonight
The way my head is spinning
But I can’t help but know
That a part of me is missing

I’m not alright
And it’s not tonight
I can’t stand to admit I’m scared
To hold you in my arms again
Because you might slip away while
I sleep with my dæmons

I’m not alright
But only for a few more nights
Because I’ll finally see you
And you’ll be coming to see me,
Rather than talk me off a ledge

I’m not alright,
But only because I miss you again
And I know I love you again.

I’m not alright,
But I know you miss me again,
And I know you love me again.
So maybe I’m alright
And I just feel suddenly alone
I’m gonna see someone I haven’t seen in over a year.. I’m terrified but so, so excited, I can’t not write about it...
Oct 2018 · 60
Redemption.
Hidden Glade Oct 2018
While a chance to change
can bring about a new fantasy,
it may awaken you to a new nightmare.

Once I was happy.
I had everything I thought I needed,
but it grew into a weapon hurting me,
this;
I know.

The life I led wasn't worth my time
I hid behind the lies everyone believed
and rolled my sleeves down to hide the lines
running down my arms, making little streets
I would walk in my spare time.

...
One street, I think it's more of a road
leading past a house, never really a home
sitting pretty in a field of regrets and memories
knowing that however many times I pass my past
nothing will change and there will always be
knots I can't untie anymore

Another street, houses more of my heart than my own chest
A simple room decorated with meaningless sketches
that meant worlds to just two people
but they're gone now
faded into nothing
discarded

A boulevard of regrets snakes up my arm
branching into other avenues, each with a little more decoration
but beyond that
lays something you can't quite see
...

I've walked these roads for hours at a time, simply waiting
hoping that I could be looking at more than a memory.
The past can't be changed
The knots won't' disappear
The pages won't re-appear
My regrets won't leave me

But even if all of this is true (and I know that it is)
I couldn't believe my eyes
when I looked into yours
and saw a second chance.
Oct 2018 · 234
MyDearMonophobia
Hidden Glade Oct 2018
I think the worst part about being alone in my room
Is knowing you'll be waiting for me when I come out

I think the worst part about living behind a door
is knowing you're not knocking because you understand

I think the worst part about sitting by myself
is catching myself looking at the empty seat next to you

I think the worst part about being here without you
is knowing I could ask for your company

I hate looking into your eyes
and smiling
and laughing
and being happy
because I'm worried about messing up again.
And ending up alone.
Aug 2018 · 237
SwitchBoard Hearts
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
Think about love
Not like a feeling
But like a call
A longing

Switchboard hearts
Take one call and then another
Just switching
Never staying

I feel like sometimes
I have a switchboard heart
And I’m scared to say that
Because no one wants someone
Who doesn’t know what they want
-L
Aug 2018 · 182
Know
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
Did I do something wrong?
Say something?
Say nothing?

{She’s replaced you}
[You weren’t hers in the first place]

Did I miss something she said?
Miss my chance at something new?
I miss the feeling of feeling sometimes.

Listen, I know you’ll never see this
But I’m sorry for whatever I did
And even if it was nothing
I still would’ve lied having lunch with you
Just so you know
Aug 2018 · 386
Home
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
My home
Is where I am
Not at my house
Where I was raised

I know that seems cold
Saying that I don’t want to go back
To those blue walls
Where the quiet would suffocate

But I haven’t seen this house as a home
For a few years now
When you’re 15 and you find a letter from your father
Saying he wishes he was dead
Our house isn’t a home
Aug 2018 · 151
Roads round home
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
I drove past my house last night
Just to see what it’d be like

Pass by those walls that held me
Past that place that built me up
And tore me down

Going 55 past the place we had our firsts
First real heartbreak
First Cut
First panic attack
First love

I’m not afraid of leaving
I’m more afraid of coming back
And only thinking about
Home
Aug 2018 · 119
THE end
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
That isn’t all
It can’t be
Aug 2018 · 114
Untitled
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
I don't hate her
but I don't love her.

I don't know why I stay with her.
I talk to other people, and so does she.

It feel like she wants more than I can give her
Aug 2018 · 123
100
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
100
I’m scared
I don’t write to get attention
Ive written my way into peoples lives
And some nights I still look for a way
To write myself out

But this
This outlet
Empowers me more than I thought
Cheesy lines aside

Thank you to everyone
Who hurt me
Who broke me
Who left me

Cause I wouldn’t know what that top is
Without know what it was like at the bottom
100 officially written poems
Thanks to everyone who’s followed this far
LMB
Aug 2018 · 147
Ohkay
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
I am
Okay
Most days
Turn the page
See flecks of blood
Coat the seams of this chapter
I am
Oh Kay
Which is like Okay
Except there’s a bit more
SPACE to change my mind
I am
Alright
Mostly
Kind of
Broken sometimes
But still pushing

I am
Ohkay
Cause there’s no space
But I’m not
.Okay.
Aug 2018 · 136
Missing you
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
We haven’t met
I hardly know you
But
I’m dragging you into my mess

Because I think I like you
Or I think I think I like you
Something like that

Or maybe I think that you think that I think I only like you because you’re someone to like who hasn’t burned me yet but I think you think I think you think we’re just friends

Man

**** this
I’m not confident on my feelings anymore
Aug 2018 · 117
2:44 AM
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
Tomorrow is today
But my mind is still stuck
On yesterday

Back when I was 12
Before I knew about depression
Before I found the secrets
My mother was hiding in the bedroom

Back when I as 15
Before I hid a knife
Before I took some pills
Before I tied that rope

Back when I was 18
Before college
Before leaving
Before tomorrow
Another sleepless night
Aug 2018 · 134
College
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
I’m so close to freedom
And yet I’m smothering in
My own skin

College is days away
And I can’t leave soon enough
Aug 2018 · 105
Who am I?
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
About 200 scars
Baggage from a girl who left over a year ago
Pocket full of crushed half-forgotten dreams
3 suicide attempts
And too many letters written “just in case“

Also late night what if’s
And maybe some crushes
Head full of fantistic ideas
Drunk off of missing her
Pain from missing her
And wishing we’d have more time
Aug 2018 · 128
Happy little Valentine
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
Flirting, I tied the knot
7 rings

You told me forever
Well I’ll have forever to wait I guess

Hanging there all I could see was the pain I’d make you go through

Kinda like ripping out a heart
Or just smothering in lies

Suffocating I found
I couldn’t hurt you again.
Aug 2018 · 68
Untitled
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
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Aug 2018 · 161
3:30 am on a saturday
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
I still can't sleep

I keep stacking my ex's

I keep missing cutting

I keep being lonely

I swear if this is all my lifes' gonna be

I'll end this shitfest right now.
Aug 2018 · 133
Untitled
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
We stood on the edge of that
shiny blade and we laughed.

slipping we laughed
cutting we laughed

but soon after our crimson tears dried
we cried

I realized what I had done
when I saw the look in your eyes

you jumped for the last time
and when you didn't get back up

I just walked away
Aug 2018 · 147
Epiphany
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
I should be dead by now.
I should be laying in a 6ft hole, rotting

But I'm not.

I'm not because there's something I need to do.

I don't have the slightest clue as to what.


BUT


I'm willing to risk
EVERYTHING
to find what that is
(I'm hoping its somewhere out there)
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
I found something in you that's intoxicating
And I haven't even heard your voice.

It's infuriating,
knowing that we're not dating
or even really friends
but you're on my mind

My phone buzzes and I'll break into a stupid grin
hoping that it's you
and hoping that
You'll break into that same, beautiful grin when you see its me.

I wonder how often you think of me.
I...
I've been looking for a sign, and my dumb heart
found it in you.

I'm terrified
that we'll meet
and you'll hate me
or worse
I'll fall even harder for you.
Aug 2018 · 193
Is this love?
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
We haven't met yet
but some nights I can't sleep without
wishing for your embrace
gentle hands on my body
easing my aches softly

I'll here your whisper
when I'm on the brink of waking
and my heart will race
thinking you're next to me
waiting for those precious moments
where it's only us.

I miss you
I don't talk to you anymore death
I've stopped cutting
I stopped looking for an out
But I can't stop missing you

I think I love the hurt that comes with
Long-Distance
or
Rushing relationships
or
Losing friends
or
breaking hearts
or
thinking about you.

I love you,
My one and only.
Aug 2018 · 111
{Explicit Content}
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
My entire life deserves a warning label

A big ******* caution sign

saying to turn the other way.

I remember a friend I lost
because I tried stretching myself thin to make them happy.
because I saw their love(lust?) for me. [I didn't realize]
because I thought I could FIX them.

I remember my first girl
smart
great body
the best ******* shower-buddy

Jealousy made everything hazy
and the last year I spent ******* around with people
only to find that I was still hollow

So if you want to know why I'm so ****** up
Re-read this a few times
cause maybe you'll find something that I missed
Aug 2018 · 109
Old Regrets Die Hard
Hidden Glade Aug 2018
My biggest fear
More than death
More than loss
is the fear that one day
I'll wake up

and notice that I'm alright




It's not that I like being broken
but it seems like that's all I'm good for anymore
so rather than fight for something I can't have
I'll lay complacent in my bed
wishing I could touch your face again.
May 2018 · 143
Her Hurricane Eyes
Hidden Glade May 2018
Chaos rains down from her eyes
and the world falls apart when she holds them back

But look into her eyes and you'll discover a peaceful grace
that wraps around you,
a shelter from your storm.

The calm in your storm
The calm in her storm
May 2018 · 245
Find your way
Hidden Glade May 2018
Let yourself embrace the fact you will die one day.

There are only two options.

You become nothing,
or you become more than everything.

Afterlife is possible,
but so is emptyness.

So why choose the gloom and drabness
of empty space?








Unless...
Unless you can fill that empty space with ideas, thoughts, impossibly wonderful things. Then shouldn't you pick something where you are who you remember yourself to be?

I forgot something though.
If our memories define us,
and our thoughts make us..

Are we the ones who can destroy ourselves?
May 2018 · 522
UNtitled
Hidden Glade May 2018
Soulmates.
Do You
Believe in them?
A bond so strong.
Stronger than life and death.
Holding people together better than "love"
That human folly we claim to find and then
throw away when "it's time"


I...
I don't know if I want to believe in soulmates.
because I either chased mine away
or haven't found her yet.

BUT

if you were my soulmate,
then I'll be waiting for you.
May 2018 · 165
Untitled
Hidden Glade May 2018
What happens when we die?

DO WE DIE
or do we live?
ARE WE GONE
or getting where we're going?
May 2018 · 76
N
Hidden Glade May 2018
N
The soft breezes of summer blow through my open window,
scattering my thoughts just like it always does,
just like you always do.

The only thing I have of you anymore is memories,
more painful than I would ever admit
having not a thing of yours to remind myself

Of that girl I met, so long ago
who showed me not only the world we lived in,
but one we called home

In my dreams, sometimes were still together
In my moments of weakness I remember her strength
and when I was passionately cupping deaths cold body in my hands
her voice told me that I was worth more than anything death had offered

And yet.

And yet I know that theres nothing that I can do,
to bring that woman's smile back to her face,
because I was the one who stole it from her.

I am in love, but sometimes only to torture myself
because I found the one, and I was so afraid of losing her
so scared of messing up
so childish in my actions

that the only thing she could do was let me go.


I was a fool. I assumed she was fine.
I hated the only person who I loved.
I hated her because she had loved me.
I hated myself because I had loved her.

But I have taken a comfort... In knowing that
In knowing that even though she's moved on
and even though shes happy...

That I am not.
and that makes me happy.
May 2018 · 300
Songlet #0.7
Hidden Glade May 2018
Longing
Sorrow
Forgiveness
Memories
Regret
Renewal
Momentum
Joy
C­alm
Peace
The Bare-bones structure of a long poem I'm working on
Keep on the lookout for updates
May 2018 · 204
Music
Hidden Glade May 2018
Without music, I am nothing.
An emotionless, empty shell,
who expresses emotion,
but doesn't always feel it.

Don't catch me listening to anything sad
cause I'll just push you away.
May 2018 · 424
Joyful winds
Hidden Glade May 2018
The warm wind tugs at my heart like a lover returning
But in this sorrow is a neon joy shining brighter than everything I’ve ever seen


It reminds me of you
Tussling my hair
Moving toward my destination
Hoping I’ll return to its embrace

How lovely the wind feels, curling in the spaces my fingers make
I took a half mile walk and the wind started blowing and I felt like writing about it
Apr 2018 · 488
My relationship with roses
Hidden Glade Apr 2018
I would rather have a million voices in my head, then think of you.
Ever.
Because loving you was about as much fun as kissing a rose.

once you break the petals off

all you're left with





is thorns on a stem
Apr 2018 · 172
H2Oh?
Hidden Glade Apr 2018
I love the water.
Calm.
Quiet.
Quite Beautiful.


The water
is like a lover
she'll wait for you
always surrounding you
(often times coldly)
but  her embrace is comfort.
freedom.
bliss.


But to breathe her in.
To breath her in...
is to sleep with death.
Hidden Glade Apr 2018
OH my god.
It's happening.
I can finally end all this stupid ****.
---
{warning} POSSIBLE FATAL ERROR IN :
LUNGS
[Cause : Lack of air flow through neck]
[[Locating source]]
...
...
...
RESTRICTION OF TRACHEA LEADING TO SUFFACATION
...
...
...
AUTO-PILOT ENABLED
---
Wait.
I can't do this.
not yet.
cough

Maybe tomorrow night.
Sometimes I feel like the only thing my head can't do is notice its own problems.

or maybe that is the problem.
Apr 2018 · 231
Rose-bushes
Hidden Glade Apr 2018
See the thing is
roses had thorns.
so
i did what I do best.
I jumped in,
got cut up,
and burned that rose bush alive.
Apr 2018 · 232
Fire within
Hidden Glade Apr 2018
The funny thing about fire

it that it either

kills itself keeping you warm
or consumes you.
Apr 2018 · 372
Fireworks in the Valley
Hidden Glade Apr 2018
Isn't it beautiful?
                                                                              It is... Absolutely wonderful.
What ones are your favorites?
                                The bright loud ones. They always have something to say.
I wish I could be up there among the colors, and the beauty.
                                                                                                I'm already there.
Without me?
                                                                                                  Because of you.
Kinda a part three, kinda not. I've wanted to write some... Less completely depressing things for a while now. So here's this cliche! Yeah...
Apr 2018 · 208
Fireworks (part 2)
Hidden Glade Apr 2018
-Light me up?
Light me up!
-LIGHT ME UP TOO!

snick
snick
*TZZZZZ

WOOOOOOOO

(did you like that one?)
the iron makes it all turn
this red-ish orange color,
kinda like the blood running
down our arms as we're running
down the streets
as our fireworks
work their magic above us
Second part! WOOT!
Apr 2018 · 400
Fireworks (part 1)
Hidden Glade Apr 2018
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

**** yeah babe I'm a firework
'bout to burst through the sky in a brilliant
flash of emotion bringing happiness to the couple
sprinting through the streets


-FLASH-

Burnt out.
Expended.
Used.
A (albeit short) part of an inspired poem
Apr 2018 · 150
Times Times Times
Hidden Glade Apr 2018
Sometimes, words are never enough
Sometimes, silence is too much
Sometimes, emotions aren't right
Sometimes, love isn't really there

You know this.
I know this.
I'm sorry for reminding you.
I'm sorry for trying to change.

I can't change who I was
but neither can anyone



So you can change everything about you
so I can change everything about me

but nothing will change
Apr 2018 · 256
P R O M I S E S
Hidden Glade Apr 2018
Pleasant catchwords offer.
Religious assertions affirm.
Occasional shouts whisper.
Moral assertions assert.
Idealistic illusions express joy.
Social obligations obligate.
Extraordinary assertions affirm.
Subtle compromises imperil.
Apr 2018 · 211
Happy things
Hidden Glade Apr 2018
Music.
uh....
....
...
..
.
Yeah.
.
..
...
....
uh.....
Music.
Hidden Glade Apr 2018
What
you expected something
poetic?


Well ****.




Sorry to disappoint you.
Just like everyone else I guess?
Mar 2018 · 314
Skeleton Trees
Hidden Glade Mar 2018
A lonesome tree stands bare
Branches scratching the sky in joy
Strong against the storm raging
Thunder and lighting raining down
But not forever will the tree stand

The wind will howl
Branches will snap
The tree will hurt
The lightning will strike
The bark ignite
The tree will burn

We
We are that tree
All alone in the storm
Our busy lives
Our regretful choices
Our darkest memories
We will break
We will burn
We will hurt


But what we must do after that hurt
Is reach out
And scrape our sky again.
I want to find my sky. I don't know where it is, but I'll find it some way. Feel free to shoot me a message if you want to know more about who I am/where I'm going
Mar 2018 · 142
I built a friend
Hidden Glade Mar 2018
No point in hiding it.
I've been through 6 relationships;
5 broken hearts;
3 "It's not your fault, it's mine."
(GOD isn't that a lie)

I... Pretend like I can't get into peoples heads.
I guess that's the best way to say it.
I want to be friends but you can't ask for that you know?
So I ask them out, see them happy, and then... Then I see a part of them that scares me (or worse yet I see a part of me I'm still scared of)
And sometimes I want to use it against people, manipulate them.

But I stop myself.

So when I say,
It's not you
It's me.

I ******* mean it.
Mar 2018 · 570
Thinking Thoughts
Hidden Glade Mar 2018
Music's so **** loud I can't hear myself think.

Guess that's why I like loud music.
Mar 2018 · 195
6 years
Hidden Glade Mar 2018
Wow.
Six years sure sprints by.
But we know that now.
We were stupid.
Well. I was stupid, you were foolish
to trust in my heart
when you know I think with my mind.
Oops.
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