i get tattoos
to love my skin
instead of scar it

i get tattoos
to love the art
that goes into it

i get tattoos
to love myself

i get tattoos
to reclaim
what you stole

this is my body

this is my art

this is not yours

this is me

I remember the evening
that we sat clinging
to paper cups
of coffee gone cold

over secrets spilled and memories told
two bodies cursed
with hearts grown old

behind your eyes
I found new worlds
A winding road stretched out for miles
to a small cafe at the end of the isle

Sweet pastries filled the mouths
of those who sat beside us
and stayed for a while.

How the hours went by,
people just passing through
The descending sun ending
a forever with you.

The first time
you said you loved
me, it was as if
I had been pulled aboard
a life raft after being
lost at sea. But
I see now that this
raft is littered with
holes and
we are sinking, but
you are convinced
that your love is a
teacup to scoop out
the water pooling around
my ankles and you will save
us, but the teacup has a crack
down one side and
do you see where I
am going with this?
A tablespoon of water
will never put out
a forest fire; I am burning
through acres.

if thunderstorms are to come
it'd be just like rain
i'll sway and sing tunes
along the electric beats

if tsunamis are to come
it'd be just like beaches
i'll surf along the waves
and will never seek land

if tornadoes are to come
it'd be just like wind
i'll fly my kite above
and will never pull the string

if earthquakes are to come
it'd be just like waltz
i will nail every step
and forever i will groove

if the forests are to burn
it'd be just a bonfire
i'll make tons of smores
and i will never share

if the world is to end
it'd be just a morning
for a world that is burning
is a world that is shining

I think of the days
That I woke in those cardboard beds
Not knowing how I’d gotten there
The nurse’s pity filled stares
Burnt a hole in my chest
I remember
What that lump in my throat was made of
Something bitter
Something cruel
Guilt
I felt guilty
Not for consuming
The drugs
The drinks
The pills
I felt guilty for wasting their time.