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fleuroses Aug 2016
"You're not confident. That's what makes you unattractive"
Well *******, I tried to be
But somehow confidence is not achievable with a big body
Did I have "low self esteem" written on my forehead?
What made you think it was okay for you to criticize me?
The love I had to give was endless
And it wasn't skin-deep like yours
I mean, it wouldn't have lasted if it was...
You weren't exactly a looker
I had a big heart, but maybe big hearts only come in big bodies
oui Aug 2016
toss turn toss turn toss turn
weight wait weight wait weight
push pull push pull push pull
go stay go stay go stay go stay
fingers throat fingers throat
oh please stay five more minutes
turn the sun switch off and throw
your blue blanket over my eyes
i am drowning in a sea of sheets
and thirty eight daily battles but
you took away my anchor so i've
drifted off the grid with no boat
water lungs water lungs water
water lungs water lungs breathe in
sink sink sink sink sink sink sink
Tehreem Aug 2016
He laid the weight on her
Words heavier than hell
She carried them all
On her head in her heart
For once she truly lived
Only where she belonged
In his frayed arms
In his gray mind
Lose weight
2, 5, 7, 10 pounds a week
You're still fat
Restrict no food for a week
Under 200 calories everyday
Get skinny
Too skinny
Do it
You'll just go back anyway
40 lost 9 weeks
Now we go faster and harder
Look, you're in control
Can't find that anywhere else
17 in 4 weeks
Then on 'til death
But you won't look like you have no self control like when you were 40 pounds over weight
Hey, did you know that you still need to lose a lot
Ya still look fat pig
elizabeth Jul 2016
This weight on my shoulders
Is too much to bear;
I'll eventually break,
But no one seems to care.

Someone, please, save me
From my unwanted demise;
How is that no one can see
The tears in my eyes?

My cries for help
Fall upon deaf ears.
Don't you think that
I've cried enough tears?

Apparently the answer is "no",
Since no one answers my calls;
So I'll quietly wait
Until my whole worlds falls.
Isabella Rossi Jun 2016
Your bones broke. I heard them, all of them. I let you carry far too much. You already held your heavy love for me throughout every blood vessel and chasm in your body. Just not to my knowledge, until I professed my love to you. The weight you could carry had reached full capacity. My love was too much. It marinated in your brain for less than a second. An overloaded mental breakdown transpired before the rest of your body could register it. Before your bones broke.
bee Jun 2016
some days
i physically cannot eat
and everything tastes like sand
but there are others
where i'm a bottomless pit
and everything tastes better than it should
and no matter what kind of day it is
i'm disappointed in myself.
All along I hid my face, my arms, my thighs and all too well my gut.
Because in this modern day,
The bigger your gut was the
Less You're able to still enjoy yourself. Let alone another human being.

From grade five
The girls learn that boys
Only like the pretty things in life.
Pretty eyes, pretty nose, pretty hair, and pretty smiles.

In grade six
Girls pick up sticks and stones while they break their bones all for a sense of acceptance of a few classmates.

In grade seven
When they tell you your pretty "isn't pretty enough"
You learn how to hide.

In grade eighth
You tuck in your gut, you fake a smile, and continue to glare at the girls
Who just always seem to get the time of day.
When you go home and stare into the mirror and start to count. You count for the days to come , were your smile is just right. Your clothes seem to fall perfectly. When the cute guy saves you a seat.
You count and wait to be perfect.

But the thing about perfection is
No body is.

it's taken me this long

Grade twelve.

To figure that out.
I used to hate myself but now I'm just finding out that it's alright to not be alright.
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