In me and in you

there is a black void, and God --


fits in exactly.

And as I sit
With colors all around
There’s a hole in my heart
It’s source yet unfound
When I can fill this
Temporal void
Is up to the imagination
Of a very special boy
I leave everything to you
My life and my soul
Please finally complete me
To have and to hold
In this life and the next
I wish for nothing more
Then to finally feel happy
To no longer feel bored

All it took was one look from me
and you would have bent over backwards so easily.
I took advantage of the love you had
because I needed to fill a void so bad.
It’s true you knew how I felt for I wasn’t fooling anyone
but I still feel guilty for everything I have done.
I can see that you try and try and try
but this time you will have to tell me goodbye.
I will stop you from coming back and begging for more
because I need you to move on and realize you don’t deserve this unreciprocated love anymore.

Let me tell you a bedtime story. It goes
Once upon a time there was a girl born for void filling purposes, She cried till they told her to stop and she never cried again.
She learned everything perfectly and extremely well.
Then her best friend died.
Then her brother killed himself.
She decided to get high. and lost her drive but she didn't care and said all the swears. She ***** and lies but she always listened and never cried.
Her womanly emotions would not get the best of her. Instead she stuffed them into a shoe box that she hid behind all the skeletons and needles she keeps in the closets.
The Girl was born to fill a void.
Used as a vault for all the faults of those around her.
She was meant to fill a void.
But then
her best friend shot herself in the head while she watched.
then she found her brother dead.
And she lost her drive.
The girl is older now.
She still has no drive, but she has this void that needs to be filled. and tears in her eyes.

The mind it yells ‘imposter’
Each time I find the time to write
Never telling who I am, only telling who I am not.

Squawking, sulking in my ear
Drives the pen, the words to veer,
Drives the mind to that of Lears,
Into the sullenness of my volition.
Imposter, Imposter - not a syndrome but a title;

The title of my biography, the world’s class joke
The worlds least known, the worlds last hope.

I have a Saviour but I am my own,
Rather, I insist to be my own.

Hypnotized by the shadow, or not a shadow but a void,
A black void, not empty but falling,
Falling deep and a miss, falling, falling to my abyss -

Imposter Void Imposter, write your sweet nothingness,
I pity myself but I go on, Imposter Void Imposter -
Sympathetic, the abyss lends it’s kiss.