When  it comes to love the nice guy finish  last . I always have  to  battle  the past. Its hard being pushed  to side and then being made out like you are blowing smoke when at  the start u were just trying to  see where this road  could  go. . I care too much  at times I  feeL   like  it is weakness.. We been hurt and our  hearts ripped out but should we  let the past be the  past  I think its is good to  let go and move forward . I know it takes time to  heal  The thoughts run threw my head always trying look at things in 3d.

Unwrap me.
Strip me of this vessel.
Shake this bottle,
this container,
until the insides bubble up.
Challenge my everything.
Yell.
Scream.
Cry out your battlecry.
I will do the same,
matching your tone,
copying your voice.
I will do the same
until I can no longer speak.
I will best you
in this contest of screams
until I feel the redness in my cheeks.
I will shake the mountains
with my voice alone.
Every word I say
sets a landmine off,
so let the explosions come.
I have so much more to say.

The night pass by
The darkness fills the day
This idea of hope is cut that won't  go away
I wish you took the time see me
I am more then you think
A blink of eye my heart is torn
I walk alone in the world
My heart keeps breaking with this feeling of change
I want walk away close the door
I feel like pain is too much
Are  the words so blinded and broken
The mask is  part of you
You keep sweeping the bed will get full
I have break threw this to see the sun on this dark day.

None shall cherish what was never meant to be,
none shall challange what was and what has come.
None of my lovers have ever loved me,
and I'm in a pit of lonely I can't escape from.

I was once a more free soul, only concerned about what I was ding and where I was going, but then my paradaigm was  shifted. Luckily, I leapt out of bordom and made personality my mistress, bending her to my will and following her as she lead me through the section of my life where I needed her most.
But it all changed.
It was al taken away without a goodbye or even a subtle wave of longing. I was lonely again, stabbed in the heart, left lifeless as if I were a physically dead body.
What once took over me as a feeling of annoyedness with the public has forced a want out of me, a hunger for their attention. And I'm sad to say that that hunger has fueled many a regretted act.
vent to me, a poem to you, random word structure to those who couldn't care. They'll never cherish my words, never try to feel where I come from, and I wish that they might.
But alas, you can't capture everyone, so I stay close to home, praying that those who can understand me continue backing me with the love, the love I'll always continue to be thankful for, the love I'll always

Cherish.

(sorry guys this isn't gonna be good I just have nowhere to vent so)




you deserve love and you deserve to understand how caring and humble you are.
you stick to your morals.
you stick to your gut.
you don't know how amazing
and I'm not the right person to tell you.
i wish you the best
and i feel like you are unreachable
but i dont know how to reach you
i can't tell you anything about yourself
only because im not the right person.
bottom line is:
i will stick around only if you want me to. but how do I know if you want me to. I don't know whether to give you space or comfort you.
I think we need to talk. but I know it doesn't help. I want to do what is best for you. I can't. I struggle with doing what's best for me.

You and I were a natural disaster.
How we acted came naturally,
Though as natural as a volcano.
There is beauty in destruction.
And darling, we blew up.
We crumbled, we burned,
And we took others down with us.

The aftermath still isn't pretty,
But life is rebuilding around us.
It's avoiding the rough spots,
Still cooling off.
It's hard.
It's rocky.
It'll all come together soon, though.

I was magma, unstable, explosive.
You were the rock, the result of previous disasters.
You were simply trying to grow.
I was simply out of control.

You and I were a natural disaster.
And just like most eruptions,
We erupted when it was least expected.
Maybe now, I can cool.
I can stabilize and reform.
You can finally get the stability you need,
From a source less risky than I.

There is beauty in destruction.

__I'd let you know
if there ever was a burn notice
I'd set it on fire and watch the embers
I'd let them remind me
    of the passion burning
away at my fibrous essence
running out of fuel for lack of  outside sources
call me a parasite (I'm apathetic now)
    while I'm clinging to hope of
someday having another line
of contrast to annul my narcissism
finding the difference to 180
    finally being good enough


    for someone,
    if it mattered.

Don t judge but open your eyes
The negative blinds you
The blood stains your hands and heart with pain you casused.
I wish you knew how blinded you are.
Love warms the heart not hurtful words
The tears burn my skin and I seat in the dark alone
I am cold  
I hope for change likes kid throwing in pennies into the wishing pound.
I can t wait no more
I can’t take the pain
I beg will you ever see beyond the dark image of me
You only see bad but never look at the good.
You see the world in 2d
I can only hope to be to better then you.
The pain is too much it hunts and overcomes me
I grab on for hope but  I see know that I can only change me,

I just want to tell you I'm sorry.
I want to tell you all of the things I know I did wrong.
I want you to know I never meant to hurt you.
I never wanted to be that person.
I'm moving on, I'm growing up.
And it's without you,
whether I like it or not.