and i remember asking him,
angus, love, do you have to throw stones?
why not flowers? why not cotton wool?
and he replied as such:

thomas, you keep walking under ladders.
you never throw that salt.
how do you expect me to react?

I want to love like the movies
The love-struck beauties
The hopelessly romantic studs
Perfect love among the flames
burning away all but the soul
I want to kiss as if I'd never kiss again
Tender lips like our souls
joining in sweet communion
our bodies merging as one
I want to know that love

But I am not special
My destined love lies in another mans bed
Their lips touching but their souls miles apart
I stand drunk ordering another
winking at the cute blond across the bar
My true love aches for me as I do for her
But I am here and she is somewhere
We all find alternative compensation

We pass each other at the market
Our eyes meet
but we look away
Because she is not perfect
nor am I
Two lost souls in a fish bowl
running over the same old ground
and so year by year we question
Where did it all go wrong?
How did I get here?

Somehow we meet again
share memories of marriage
children
"love"
and then and only then
will we know
Where it all went wrong

Crawl crawl
Burning through
Obsessions
Rotten stew
Crawl crawl
Through the pain
Remission
Is a joke
And life was a game
But is a remainder
of screwups and screwdowns

Crawl Crawl
Burning through
Possessions
Deadbeat crew
Crawl crawl
Forgotten stains
Permission
Is always denied
And rebuttals dumped
In trash cans full
of screwups and screwdowns

Drilling a hole
Finding geodes where a core was
Cold and dark and empty
Drilling a hole
Finding loneliness inside
It is who you are

Extinguished supernovae
Could have contained
And still the darkness would have stayed
Crawl crawl
burning through
your house of cards
melting all definitions
You're a screwup
Still alive

think of me often
my hands, bones, body: shaking
I am not dust yet

I used to be able to fly.
It was incredibly simple,
effortlessly easy.

I used to kiss the sky
with my wings by my side-
two loyal companions
in a treacherous war.

The war had four letters-
four letters; all matter.
Four letters, each carrying
a destructible weapon.

L.I.F.E

They blinded me
and I couldn't tell which one it was,
but one of them had hands.
Merciless hands.
Enemy hands.
Peppered hands.

Ten fingers plucked at my wings-
ripping my feathers out one by one like
plucking eyelashes from a human eye.

I held unlucky pennies.
I breathed the air of space.
I felt the knife of a killer.
I heard nothing-
nothing at all.

But I guess you have to lose your wings in order to understand what it is that truly makes you fly.

I wish for the star to shine,
Yet it won’t glow for me,
Unlucky.



© Pax

Like a spider he crawled
and made his net
with strands as strong as steel.
Then he waited for his prey
as he disguised as a butterfly

And I was the unlucky one flying by
on that lucky day.

My days are like never ending dreams;
I'm glad to say I'm happy to be
Alive; in such a daze, I walk in
As I watch Hell's fiery tongue
Retrieve, as my blessings sink in deep
And all my devastation resolves;
In this hectic mess, such happy ends
Must be a hoax; how can someone so
Unlucky have so many miracles?
It must be a dream: please, don't wake up.

I don't know how many times
I have to fall in love
With the wrong person.
I've loved quite a few
But none of them ever
Felt the same way.
I treated them right
But I guess
I'm just never good enough
It makes me wonder really,
Is it all part of the plan?
Or am I just an unlucky human?