Sometimes it hard to see
Though the foggy land we walk
Sometimes its hard to know
There's support among the talk
Chatter blurs my head with things unsaid
Should I have even tried at all?
There's only one way to know
I guess I need to fall

When it gets dark, it gets easier
Not knowing who's around
Their candle light burns in my eyes
No peace of mind as I hit the ground
I know they've tried
And opened up their eyes
But mine don't seem to work
I just want to try to get there
Without getting hurt.

Todays the day, is always the day
But somehow it's still tomorrow
"One foot in front of the other"
Is just talk among my sorrow
No one can do it for me
I'm lost and scared and cold and lonely
But the worst sound of all is my own voice
Making promises continuously

To much informatie that my brain is trying to controle
I can do it
But not without you
Not without your arms holding me
Not without you whispering in my ear
"All these things will go away as soon you relax and think about the things that you are overthinking of"
It makes no sense

Feels monotonous
Searching for glimmers of light
In such a dark world.

Yesterday I felt good about myself
I thought I looked good in that dress
Today I saw a video of me
And my self esteem went down, I'm down on my knee
I'm working so hard to maintain,
A good physic my self to entertain
My self to be proud of
My self to not be worn off
I count calories every day
A limit I set to always obey
A workout regim to never look pass
Only walking, not taking the bus
I find my legs so thick why?
I find my arms so flabby, No I deny
I'm gonna try to push some more forward
To not give up on this trip, only onward

Despair it is to lose all hope,
Yet to still believe,
That your heart and mind can cope,
That freedom you shall receive.

The broken image in the mirror will become anew,
With no cracks to feel,
Darkness withdrew,
Leaving only what’s real.

Shadows cast upon your heart,
Will be a sweet memory,
Such a work of art,
That little tender thing will be.

Your skin innocent and soft,
Shall be your favorite shield,
Your soul going aloft,
To a sacred field.

Feel that blood,
Rushing through your veins,
it makes a flood,
Amongst those beautiful remains.

A broken dream this has always been,
For human life is cruel,
This false hope has become a sin,
Indeed, I must be a fool.

when shall i learn that a line must be drawn
for the sake of my sanity
how can i accept my own demise due to my service of others?
i must wash my hands clean of the guilt i possess
for i harm no one as greatly as myself

i swim in oceans of my misery and drown in pools of my sorrow
terror fills my lungs and breaks away at the tissue in them

¨careful!¨ i scream
i cannot allow myself to fall victim to my own mind
the racing and pumping of my thoughts breaking down the barriers i have built
there is nothing left to protect my self-esteem
no armed guards to stop the negativity in its tracks
no brick wall to block the sadness from reaching me

dangerous. is the only world i can use to describe my thoughts
a battlefield of mines bursting with anger
sticks of dynamite, disguised as flowers to lure and destroy
the question is, who are they meant to hurt?

are they meant to agitate me further to turn my back on myself?
refusing the possibility that happiness can be found?
or are they meant to bring pain to others?
to keep me in control of the opinions and decisions of my peers?
does she aim to help or control?

perhaps, my mind is losing track of what i was thinking
allowing me room to doubt myself
is my mind trying to convince me that i am the parasite in the lives of others,
feeding off of their souls
i believe she is right
to tell me that i do things in order to gain
she tells me, that i do not wish to help, only to hurt

i understand now that i am up against myself
left up to my own devices
no one is under obligation to assist me in battling my demons
i will struggle and fight, until my last breath
to let my own mind defeat me, is to allow defeat inside of my own fortress

i will never be unarmed again