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Thomas EG May 2015
Two burns, left wrist
Two more burns, left hand
Two fading slits, left ankle
Easier to deal with, to understand
These six scars...
They are the only ones that I have
Well, the only ones in your eyes
The only ones that were deliberate
Deliberate necessities
There is one on the right side
Of my nose too
But it was accidental
Nothing more than a childish
Slip of the foot
"Sorry, it was just a slip of the tongue"
I need you
I need more
Two more, in precision
(a double incision)
One on the right
And one on the left
"No cesarean for me, thanks"
No life coming out of this body
No matter how beautiful
I could have made you
I would have kept you safe
I promise
I won't let them hurt you
They'll understand
They have to
They have to
They have to

But that's what I thought before
And yet they still don't
Not today, not quite yet
But they have to
And I've been thinking
And drinking
And smoking
And toking
And I do not know
How far I will go
So cut me open
Take what I don't want
Because I do not want this
Remove my heart
You may as well
While you're in there
It's been aching so badly lately
And this is all that I want right now
They will let me do it
They have to
They have to
They have to

They will...
Won't they?
You can not see teardrops
Amongst raindrops
Can not distinguish between
The peaceful and the pained
And I fall, I fall hard
I crash and you feel me, you do
But rain is a friend
Rain is something that I can trust
Something that I can relate to, rely on
Too quiet to be seen as thunder
Too dull to be seen as lightning
Too transparent to be seen at all
From a distance...

You get used to rain after a while
We are known for our weather
(Rain rain go away)
Let the sun shine
So that I can become a rainbow
Cut me open and pull out my heart
Offer it to that planet's glorious rays
Look up at me
Not down on me
And tell me that I am beautiful
Tell me that I mean something
To you
That I mean anything
Because I am not mean
I mean
I love you
I love you
I love you

I try far too hard
You think that I don't try at all
But it's ******* hard
It's SO ******* hard
And I am trying my best
And I am transgender
I am the she / he / whatever
The it
I do not deserve you
But do I really deserve this?
I know that these are not raindrops
I can taste the salt, slowly rolling
And rolling down
And down my face
My tear-stained face
Please tell me that I am worthy
Please let me do this
Please, please, let me do this...
You have to
YOU HAVE TO
I'm not alright
I'm not okay
I'm not alright
I'm not okay

Save me
Fish me out of the ditch
Ditch me halfway through
My transition
LET ME TRANSITION
You have to
You have to
You have to

It hurts
It hurts so bad, oh God
And I'm not getting anything in return
So let me pain myself
Until I can breathe again
With a smile on my face
A smile that will not run in the rain
I am running through the rain
Running away from myself
I am falling, as rain falls on me
And I am crying
I'm not alright
I'm not okay

So let me do this
You have to.. You have.. You..
You will...
Won't you..?
Because I'm not alright
And I'm not okay
I am transparent, I am transitioning
I am transgender
Whether you like it
Or not.
This poem is purely to express what I'm feeling right now in some way other than crying and pushing myself too hard... Life ain't too good right now. Writing this definitely helped though.
WickedHope May 2015
I am the in between
The middle
The line
The bridge
The limbo
The paleness
The fence
The open
The link
The connection
The break
I am the in between

The first to be forgotten
The last to be seen
Wrote a few on this thought today.
Dr Zik Apr 2015
When I go in search of You
In the rain of my tears too.
                                  
During walking, talking so
I meet every friend or foe

No left any inn or cave
Each one prisoner and slave

So I am too weak to do
When I go in search of You

At last I find lovely sign
Like a bliss to soul refine

Transparent and sacred You
Reflecting in morning dew

I see you seconds a few
When I go in search of You
Dr Zik Mar 2015
When I close my eyes
I can’t ignore the inner dashing and transparent world
As all the objects are brightened
And illuminated from the core of heart
Which gets eternal light from you O’ my friend
Poetic T Dec 2014
Frozen time spirals,
Yearning touches now glazed,
Transparency hangs.
Icicles beautiful but also dangerous
Poetic T Dec 2014
Upon a snow flake a word is centre
Caught within an exhaled
Breath
Revealed a moment
Of winters tale,
Each now like glass semi transparent
Every breath reveals another
But soon to white they turn
A story
Lost,
Absent,
Hidden
From view, the little one
Ran, scarpered as fast as little legs can go,
Mother,
Father,
Sister,
&
Brother,
Wait child what is the rush,
"A winters tale"
"I breathed upon it"
But the moment faded, the word was lost
They went out side
As gentle flakes feel,
She breathed upon a single tear of snow
As before the word glistened,
"Do you see"
"Do you believe"
Astonishment,
Wonder,
Confusion
Mouths ajar at what eyes just seen,
As before the moment passed
Word had faded as lost
In the fresh linen of snow,
Each was ready,
Inhaled breath
Exhaled,
Words appeared, glistening within
Mothers word was
"The"
Father exhaled,
"Meaning"
My brother sneezed upon one
"Of"
Mandy
"Ate one"
Then realised, exhaled on passing ones,
"Christmas"
I waited, as many fell upon
My face, I exhaled
"Is"
But as we breathed none did change,
Is what, then
Goofy barked, dog breath greeted
Flakes
Falling
Slowly,
The word brought a smile to all,
"Family"
They were still upon the blanket of white,
Each picked the chosen flake,
It was glass, as if the word etched,
Upon the mantle piece each sat,
"The Meaning Of Christmas Is Family"
We all smiled at the winters tale,
We each exhaled a breath and a story was told..
MC Hammered Nov 2014
Lips say he's different
now.
Drunk eyes reveal no
change.

~

My knees did not
buckle
At your matured tastes in blues and
bourbon,

my heart did when you didn't
recognize
the gleam of your own
reflection.
Caitlyn Bruce Nov 2014
I am screaming and screaming and screaming.

But not with my voice.

With the way I fold into myself when you're around, because I don't want to say anything dumb. **** I don't even know what to say.

The way I put my walls up. Because I don't want you seeing me vulnerable because then you'd have power.

The way I don't even look at you because I don't want to be caught staring.

I am screaming out for your attention, except I'm sending the opposite signals.

Funny how that works, hmm?
Marlo Oct 2014
You expect me to dance when you stare,
But in fact I sit still as a rock and just stare back.
You think I'm completely silent.
In solitude.
But no,
I'm analyzing every curve
Of your face,
Every octave
In your judge mental tone.
Every fiber of your being that
Makes you who you are,
Wether I hate or love you.
I analyze you to see you as your emotions.
I see through your skin,
To me you're transparent.
I see what's inside,
And that should scare you to death,
Because it does me,
Fore I am transparent as well,
And if you really looked,
You'd see me quite easily.
. *** .
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