you'll never know
what the light is like
if you hide in the dark
if you lurk in the shadows
if you wait for the right time
because the world keeps rotating
and time will keep on running
and no one will stop for you

you'll never know
what the world is like
if you stay inside your shell
not having courage to come out
and it will be your label
which you will take into your grave
a coward who hides behind comfort
who dares not take a risk

you'll never know
what you are capable of
if you don't open your eyes
and listen to the chirping birds
with your eyes shut and ears plugged
all you see and all you hear
is the nasty, disgusting voice
of the devil and his failures

you'll never know
about the world
and how to live
if you never try
and once you run out of time
regret will eat you alive
leaving you not even bones
like birds pecking through your flesh

and then at your last moments
then you'll realize
how pitiful your life was
not looking anything
oh, how blind had you been!
not listening anything
oh, how deaf had you been!
not doing anything
not trying anything
not living your life
oh, how dumb had you been!
if only...
you'll wish
if only had you been a little brave
and step out from the dark
oh, how little had you known

you'll never know
if regret would be your last emotion
if you don't take this chance
and soar beneath the shadows
you'll never know

wondering hopelessly
through an unknown place
of tragedy and despair

I cried
and begged
and screamed for help
but nobody was there

the tides
were persistent
and kept
dragging me down

I had fought
for so long
I was tired
and wanting to drown

the end
of the tunnel appeared
a black hole

the future
which was once
so bright
now seems so dull

as I was trudging
along I saw
a bright light

I started to follow it
and watched it
take fight

this light was
higher than me
and out
of my grasp

but it lowered
itself without
me having
to ask

it led me to
a place I did not know

a place where
it seemed
everything had
a perfect glow

the longer the
light stayed
the more faint
it became

I began to fear
that after
meeting me the light
would never be
the same

I took
and took as it
gave and
gave

Now I didn't think
I was the one
who need to
be saved

the light had already
shown me the way
but had become lost
on it's own path

the thought that I
had killed such
a beautiful thing caused
me such
internal wrath

I destroy
what I touch
and I blind
what I see

I wish there
was another person
I could call
me

I get that I can't have everything.
       I don't have much now,
       But I'll give it up.

  Take all the money I don't have.
Take my food that I don't eat.
  Take the books I used to read.
Take my drawings, they're useless.
  Take this body no one wants.
Take even, dare I say, my poetry,
       After all, it is written for you.

But please, can't you just make me smile again?
I'd give everything to smile with you once more.

What if...
I'm as light as a feather and as heavy as lead.
What am I doing here?
Where do I want to go?

What if...
Now something stupid to think off.
We could run in the fields?
And pretend we are kings and queens?

What if...
I can't fathom the universe.
And we are just here?
And we don't exactly know where?

What if...
Let's live more lies.
Do we ever fall in love?
Do we ever know the worst from the best?

Takes hit.
And as the smoke billows out and away,
I wonder
What if?...

And in that moment
I fell for you like a bullet to the chest;
You took my breath away
As I had fallen
So deeply in love with you.

Autumn the struggle of orange in red flow with warmth before winter's might

I hit rock bottom once i hit the bottom of the bottle It's getting cold. And I'm just not alright.

Pursue me otherwise

till then I'll drink this bottle with numb regret

There's nothing I can do after your mind's made and your heart's set.

So in the end I enter fugue

And wonder if anything's real that I know to be true

Someone once told me the color of love is the color of Autumn leaves

But Regret's the only feeling I get when watching them blow in the breeze.

Disclaimer

I know not what I am

If only for a second I remember it would be you I would blame for my disorderly conduct

And just maybe, my thinking's corrupt.
I shouldn't blame you for my self inflicted pain, But it's a strain not to wonder If those love colored fallen leaves are missed by the trees they fell from. Or if you'll miss me when I'm done.

Now reaching my heart is harder than carving my chest open with a jagged knife while the Serrated edges my human away from my chest
And I scream ****** ****** from the mess

It wasn't supposed to be that way but I did my best.
That what hurts the most is knowing my best wasn't good enough. That I'm not as good as the wrest of the stuff that serve your escape. It hits nerve that when with me you had to close the drapes. Your ***** little secret, had to keep my voice hushed. But now your voice is shaking and the color from your face is flushed. But i doubt I'll ever know what it is you're afraid of
Leaf.

This wisdom I attained formed my common sense

Which is now a situational technicality
Faint laughs and dull quips

As i finish the last bottle in pathetic sips

I write this last sentence with the color of autumns blood

Maybe I wont fall for it like the leaf's every autumns season

He gave me an entire solar system
when all I asked for was a star.

All he gave me was a star
when I needed an entire solar system.

Take my heart,
****** your fingers through my chest -
let them reach. Rip, pull,
tear aside my weary flesh.
Scratch my decaying ribs,
rotten and weak.
Just a sharp, swift tug,
and they snap. Blood leaks,
as you pierce the arteries,
that keep my lungs captive -
chaining them within me,
so that they cannot rest, active
always, slaves to reflex.
Let them be free, at last
unbound, let them relax,
deflate, give up the air of past
days that took too long.
Toss them aside,
Useless and frail, taking
up space in your unrelenting hands,
they keep digging, though aching
and tired of brutality. Hatred
that once coursed through my veins,
now spilled and taken,
for your deathly gains.
Finally, unobstructed, a clear path
to my heart now drained
of life-giving blood is revealed.
Wrap your pale, blood-stained
fingers around it and pluck
the tendons 'till they break.
Grip more tightly, grab, clutch,
****** it from me, still and motionless.
Hold it up to the light, let me see
with my dead, hollow eyes
as you crush it in front of me.

Take my heart.

Crush my heart.

Take my brain.

Twist my mind.

You want me to give you
all that I have
So I will

But before you take me
I want you to enter my soul
and search my every thought

I want you to see the stars inside of me
to feel the heat in my lungs
and the ice in my veins
Look into my heartbeat
and feel the rhythm in my fingertips

Experience the weight of my skin
against my concrete bones
Map the galaxies I have spinning in my head
and pinpoint all my scars

Take me
take all of me
I am a work of art

useless if not admired

-h.w.