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Hannah Feb 2020
My body sighs when I wake up. Her feet move without prompting on a journey that leads us to the cold measurements of my worth. The first light we see each morning is not that of a  blushing pink sunrise. It is angry and red. It screams at us to wake up from a nightmare we are creating.

She will tell me she’s sorry, that she will change. I’ll tell her it’s alright. We both know I’m lying. I will take us down familiar paths hoping they lead us to different destinations. She will obediently follow, acting as a vessel for my frustration. She is the parchment I use to map out the ugliest parts of my mind.

I will tell her I’m sorry. I wish it could be different. It will be different. She will whisper that it doesn’t have to be this way. I will pretend to believe her.

I will try to love her over breakfast and carefully clothe her in layers meant to protect her from the harsh judgements of others. I tell her that someday the sun will know all the parts of her. She wonders how many parts will have been lost by then. I tell her just a few more.

All day I will twist her into molds that she was never meant to fit. She will do her best but it won’t be enough.

She will ache for rest and care and my thoughts will be screaming. We will stretch and sweat until they are quiet.

We will sit in the dark together, under so many covers and layers we aren’t sure where we end and they begin. I will feel the weight of myself in the mattress and she will apologize. I’ll tell her we can try again tomorrow. She will hope that tomorrow never comes.
Hannah Feb 2015
"Baby I'm still in love, but you never even respond."
Hannah Feb 2015
My Mother told me
that today was the first day
of the rest of my life

                                                                                        I want you in it.
Hannah Feb 2015
Everything about you
makes my knees weak
and my hands tremble
You’re the reason my heart is pumping,
though it skips a few  beats
and falters,
much like my words
when I try to tell you
how much you mean to me
Not sure if I like this one so much, it's much harder to write when I'm happy but I've been so happy lately I don't want it to end.
Hannah Feb 2015
Don't you remember
the last time
you felt like this?
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