In life, I find that meaning comes not from the pursuit of happiness as a singular goal, but from the journey of seeking something greater than myself. I’ve come to understand that a quest; whether grand or humble; is what gives structure and intention to life. It’s not merely about what I achieve but about the way in which I push my boundaries and challenge my comfort. The richness of life is woven through this constant pursuit, where the process itself brings fulfillment, growth, and, ultimately, a deeper sense of purpose.

I’ve learned that quests are personal, and they vary from person to person. For some, it may be an exploration of the world, for others, an internal journey of self-mastery or spiritual enlightenment. What matters is not the specific nature of the journey but the fact that it demands something of me. A quest calls for sacrifice, resilience, and a willingness to embrace discomfort in the name of something meaningful. It teaches me to value perseverance and to cherish progress as much as the outcome.

In my experience as a divorced single father, I’ve found that even in failure or setback, there is an immense value in the effort. Each step forward, each obstacle, and each victory, no matter how small, brings clarity. I learn more about myself, about my limits, and about the world around me. This process has shown me that I am capable of more than I often imagine.

The most profound lesson I’ve come to understand is that life is more than the routine we fall into. It’s about actively choosing a path that resonates with who I am at my core. The choice to embark on a journey that allows me to live intentionally, to craft a story that is uniquely mine, and to pursue a legacy that matters; not necessarily to the world at large, but to my soul and for my daughter.

In seeking a quest, I’ve come to realize the importance of listening to the call of my heart and not the expectations of others. What is most true and beautiful in life is discovered through action, not merely contemplation. The quest is not about perfection; it is about daring greatly, facing fears, and allowing passion to guide me toward something meaningful. And through this pursuit, I find not just a fleeting sense of happiness, but a life that is rich in purpose.

—

I walk the path, alone, not lost,
A father’s heart, the cost embossed.
With one eye gone, I see more clear,
The wounds of home, the quiet fear.

Through surgeries, through love undone,
The quest began when I was young.
Not in the joy, but in the pain,
I found my strength, I learned to reign.

A daughter’s light, my guiding star,
Through a broken past, we’ve come so far.
This life, my journey, ever fast;
A quest for peace, for love that lasts.

— Sincerely, Boris

I’ve come to realize that the mind holds immense potential for healing, far more than we often acknowledge. Instead of searching for relief solely in external solutions, I’ve learned to turn inward, recognizing that the tools for managing pain, stress, and anxiety already exist within me. By consciously working with the mind and body, we can shift our experience of suffering and cultivate peace.

The breath is one of the most effective means of doing this. It serves as a direct link to the present, anchoring my awareness in the here and now. Through simple, controlled breathing, I can calm my nervous system and influence my subconscious mind. This process is not only about relaxation; it’s about retraining the mind to respond differently to stress and discomfort. With every mindful breath, I’ve gained a greater sense of control over my emotional and physical states.

Mindfulness is another critical practice. By observing my thoughts and emotions without immediately reacting to them, I’ve developed a new perspective on pain and stress. Rather than seeing these as threats to be resisted, I now view them as signals; indicators that something in me needs attention. Mindfulness allows me to approach these signals with curiosity and compassion, which can reduce their intensity and help me respond more thoughtfully.

In this process, meditation plays a key role. It gives me access to the deeper parts of my subconscious, where my past experiences and emotional patterns are stored. Through regular meditation, I’ve been able to reshape my responses to stress and pain, moving away from automatic reactions that increase suffering. Meditation has taught me that healing is a process of aligning the mind and body toward peace, not by force but through consistent, patient practice.

I no longer feel powerless in the face of external stressors. By focusing on my inner world; my thoughts, my breath, and my awareness; I’ve developed a sense of resilience that isn’t easily shaken by outside circumstances. Healing, I’ve learned, is an ongoing journey. Each day offers a new opportunity to practice these skills, to remind myself that while pain or anxiety may arise, I have the ability to transform how I experience them.

—

Each morning, I rise to greet the day,
Read words of wisdom, to light my way.
With visions clear, and actions aligned,
I center my soul, in peace I find.

Meditation whispers, “Be still, be strong,”
And in the silence, I belong.
Writing my truths, I set them free;
A life of growth, that belongs to me.

Afternoons slow, with a gentle breeze,
Books and thoughts, no need to please.
Turning off screens, I reclaim the hour,
In quiet moments, I find my power.

A podcast hums, a guiding sound,
New ideas grow, deep and profound.
As evening falls, I move and I breathe,
Walking the path where my heart is pleased.

With words once more, I let them flow,
A reflection of where I long to go.
In the stillness, I find my light,
And greet the peace that comes each night.

I promise to hold my routine with care,
To nourish my body, to breathe fresh air.
Move every day, let my muscles sing,
Phone set aside, to let nature ring.

Carry my camera, to capture the skies,
Saving each dollar, with mindful eyes.
Sober, present, embracing the new,
Writing forever, my heart’s truth in view.

In this journey, I grow and unfold,
A story of strength, resilience and bold.

— Sincerely, Boris

It has honestly gotten to the point where you are no longer my one desire.

God is.

It has honestly gotten to the point where I just want to be friends with you.
Just to know you as you and not the man in my mind, I am breaking  you down you know, you know that fiction I made of you in my mind, the fantasy I would call on to rock me to sleep or to comfort me when I would refused to go to my heavenly Father.

Lie by lie, fiction by fiction, lust by lust, I am breaking the false imitation I made of you.
Demolishing it till the foundation is clear.

But now I want to know you, talk to you, make you laugh knowing
I honestly do not have feelings for you but only Philia love towards you.
I honestly want to understand your actions and why you are who you are.

I don't like you I just want to know you.
I no longer lust after you, but I now see you as the human God made you to be.

I awoke

With little surprise

at the rope

slithering over my wrists

and the chains

laced around my ankles

I look around

Unappalled

by the emptiness

of this space

by the lack of light

that should otherwise be flooding

this vast,

hollow void.

I shout

for help

for mercy

for peace

My pleas

stream from my mouth

and echo around my head

ricocheting off the edges

of what seems

to be the world

expanding

Filling the deepest depths

of the darkest places

I listened

Unfazed

to the faded ringing

of impending silence

and the rise of cruel laughter

and yelps of glee

at my despair

at my sorrow

at my weakness

at my anger

and my hunger

for freedom

Deafened

by my cold

shattered

heartbeat

by my racing thoughts

and the apathetic symphony

that floats through the air

Filled with frustration

bent by rage

beat down

broken

exhausted

I choke back tears

and bite my tongue

I close my eyes,

shutting off the world before me

And I wait

Hoping

to feel a trickle of hope

a few drops of courage

Confused

and disappointed

by the sharp numbness

that filled my soul

I wondered

Will I be like this forever?

or is this the point where silence

will amount

to light

to strength

and to happiness?