Hold on to yourself
Nothing is as it seems
You simply can´t tell
What goes on behind the scenes

Hold on to someone
Who doesn't bring you down
and alone in front of everyone
Looking like a clown

I can't say I understand
No one really does
Let´s live in a dreamland
And break all the laws

Hold on to yourself
Don´t feel pressured to transform
You can't always tell
When your whole soul is gone

2. November 2017

I Am a scar of myself
a damaged piece of my former being.
and I ache for redemption.
I want to erase what I have become,
to smear this human I am now,
with the pink bud of a fresh eraser.
lets create something new,
lets wind down and settle in who we are.
it feels nice.
at this point.
Being someone.
being something/

What do you expect?
For me to sit here and say, “I love you”
When you don’t even do the same.
You don’t treat me like you used to.
So please, I beg of you,
Do Not Hate Me.
Do not hate me when I love someone else.
Do not hate me when I tell them I adore them with all my heart.
Do not hate me when they’re the one I think about constantly.
Do not hate me for falling out of love with you.
I stay because I fear breaking your heart, breaking the promise that I’d love you forever.
You don’t even bat an eye at me,
So forgive me when I love someone who loves me too.

there aren't enough words in the universe to explain
All the anger frustration and pain
I feel towards you
I want to scream cry and punch a wall
If it means I won't fall
Ever again for someone like you
Don't try to come back
And build up a fallen stack
Of trust that will never be regained
Under my breath I curse your name
For involving myself in your game
But I can't be called a fool for something I never saw coming

Despite how hard I try,
I can't bring myself to forget what you smell like.
The sound of your voice and the way you smiled,
good morning sounded like the sweetest song.

Despite how easy it seems,
I can't bring myself to sit where we did before.
Talking for hours as the coffee shop closed,
counting yellow cars and sipping on forever.

Despite how much I shouldn't love you,
I am still the girl in the emptying coffee shop.
Sitting by the window,
counting yellow cars and waiting for you.

tonight, I will look up
and see you are the only one in the sky
shooting across my vision
then forever disappearing

so I close my eyes and then I realized
I can repeat the events that just unfold
over and over again when my eyes are shut
when I go to bed, turn off the lights and dream
of you
the only star in my sky

Expose yourself to pain,
let it wash over your body like a long awaited sunrise.
Let it cleanse your blood and
coarse through your veins.

Pain was not created to be fought,
the bite love leaves on the way out.
The heart must hurt
before it begins to heal.

My dear when your world begins to fall,
your hands begin to tremble.
Open your heart
and let the hurt begin to heal you.

you remind me of a certain someone,
someone who i was close to like no other,
who caused me so much pain and stress.
exhaustion is a mess and I won't do that to myself again.

There was once a horrid alcoholic
At least that what someone said
But maybe they didn't care
Maybe drinking was the only thing keeping them going

Maybe...
Because it reminds them of someone
Or how smoothly someone came into their heart
Someone filled their mind and body with warmth
Happy thoughts and feels
Allowing their worries to soar free
Relieving them of pain
Keeping their mind away from harsh realities
Someone made their life a living fantasy
A surreal ecstasy
Love that would last for evermore

Only it didn't
It isn't there anymore
Someone left
Now
The person is here
Drinking so that maybe... they can keep going
Unrealistically..