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Andrew Durst Oct 2018
There will always be
too little
or too much

and perfection
will always be

My advice;

learn the rules,

do what pleases you.
Thank you for your time. Cheers.
Andrew Durst May 2018
My death will be liberating.

And I do not say that in the sense
that I am going to find a cliff
and take a good jump off.


I am just trying to find a
clever way to tell you

that I do not know what is going
to happen next.

You see,

there is a
fine line
dreaming and


I am finding out for myself
that being in love
does not always

being awake.

And for my sake
I fall in love with daydreams,
hazy realities

the hung-over idea

of not being enough.

It is all out of my hands.
                 It is all out of time.

And the only thing I have left to do,

is decide.
Thank you to anyone that reads this.
Andrew Durst May 2018
Those that lack compassion will never
utilize their second chances
and I am not saying this to be romantic
I am just letting you know what is true;

the only difference between

love &

what you see inside of you.
Be easy my friends.
Andrew Durst Apr 2018
It has been five months since we have talked last
and I have come to the conclusion that

I was wrong.

There is nobody left for me to blame anymore.

I have come to terms with the fact that
I acted like a child and that my behaviour
was toxic.

I understand,
why our situation
ended up this way
that the reason for all
of this distance

my own unforgiving misery.

You see,
I tried to convince you to love me.

My ego made way
for my downfall
at the end of the day
all I can say
is that-

I do not blame you for not bothering to call.

Truth be told,
you probably did not want to hear my voice
and when it came to picking up the phone;
I probably did not even have the *****.

I was a small man acting in
selfish ways
wondering why
someone as
right as rain
would not give me
the time of day.

I labelled your innocence
as ignorance
when I was the one
in denial,
all alone.

And all along the time
I had chased after you-

I had lost sight of what I wanted to become.
Andrew Durst Mar 2018
Some people live purgatory lives;
they dance with the invitation
of death
just long enough
for the moment
to become romantic
then they usher the
entire idea
right out the door
as if being
with the end
is an easy way
to pretend

they cannot
         go at any moment.

Some people chase
   the idea of death
so much
they forget to
do something
as simple
yet profound
as live.

We spend every day
repeating cycles
and trying to make
our routines
then remain
frustrated at

     everyone and ourselves

for not being able to get this fluctuating life right


I am learning that getting it right
takes doing it wrong
more than
quite a few


that is simply something neither you or I can be ashamed of.

We cannot substitute the lessons
that failure and patience bring us-
all we really can do is
face our hardships
with limited understanding
and obtain what we can
from our moments of misery.

I am finding more and more
         that myself
  lingers in those moments
and I am beginning to appreciate
the days
I spend
          & subtle
           of what I can


You see,
I used to fear my own presence.
Shake my head at my own sight.
Be disgusted with my thoughts
and ruin my existence.

I used to do all of these things because I felt
I was not the person taking charge
      for my life.
I was not the person owning responsibility
for their actions.
I was not the person acting on their decisions
although the choices were petrifying.
I was not that kid because


I had yet to find the opportunity in my failures.
I had yet to see the potential in my flaws.
I had yet to understand that there are twenty-four hours
in a single day
and we can own every single one of them
when we are not focused on defeat.

And that sounds a little extreme at first,
I know,
but if I can convince you of anything today-

please do not be afraid of change.

Welcome it with open arms and be prepared for
your entire life to get uncomfortable
when you start being honest with the world
and most importantly-

I have let go of so much heartache
from no longer pretending I am okay.

I have let go of so much anxiety
from not allowing others to hold
their expectations over me.

I have let go of so much depression
from standing up for myself
because I was sick of the world
telling me NO.

I have let go of so much
useless negativity
and have said goodbye
to so many friends
and relatives
choosing compassion
over what they took from me
always kept me on
the better course;

a step ahead
when they were looking behind
and reflecting
by the time
they could realize
intuition wins.

but I guess depending on which way you are looking at it-
all of this is just bragging of course.

So I will never mind you
if you are not listening.

I will forgive you
when you come around.


know that I am too.

And for every dream you are chasing-

    it is chasing after you.

Thank you.
Kudos if you read this all. I hope it helped. Even though some might find this appalling- I just hope it get's to at least one of you.
Andrew Durst Feb 2018
Forever was just
an excuse
to be
close to you.
Not a poem.
Andrew Durst Jan 2018
They try to silence me
when my passion sings
for I am not like you
caged birds
with clipped wings.

I have crawled,
and taken flight.

So it will take
more than
a wish
to end me
-Andrew Durst.
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