There will always be
or too much
will always be
learn the rules,
do what pleases you.
Thank you for your time. Cheers.
My death will be liberating.
And I do not say that in the sense
that I am going to find a cliff
and take a good jump off.
I am just trying to find a
clever way to tell you
that I do not know what is going
to happen next.
there is a
I am finding out for myself
that being in love
does not always
And for my sake
I fall in love with daydreams,
the hung-over idea
of not being enough.
It is all out of my hands.
It is all out of time.
And the only thing I have left to do,
Thank you to anyone that reads this.
Those that lack compassion will never
utilize their second chances
and I am not saying this to be romantic
I am just letting you know what is true;
the only difference between
what you see inside of you.
Be easy my friends.
It has been five months since we have talked last
and I have come to the conclusion that
I was wrong.
There is nobody left for me to blame anymore.
I have come to terms with the fact that
I acted like a child and that my behaviour
why our situation
ended up this way
that the reason for all
of this distance
my own unforgiving misery.
I tried to convince you to love me.
My ego made way
for my downfall
at the end of the day
all I can say
I do not blame you for not bothering to call.
Truth be told,
you probably did not want to hear my voice
and when it came to picking up the phone;
I probably did not even have the *****.
I was a small man acting in
right as rain
would not give me
the time of day.
I labelled your innocence
when I was the one
And all along the time
I had chased after you-
I had lost sight of what I wanted to become.
Some people live purgatory lives;
they dance with the invitation
just long enough
for the moment
to become romantic
then they usher the
right out the door
as if being
with the end
is an easy way
go at any moment.
Some people chase
the idea of death
they forget to
We spend every day
and trying to make
everyone and ourselves
for not being able to get this fluctuating life right
I am learning that getting it right
takes doing it wrong
quite a few
that is simply something neither you or I can be ashamed of.
We cannot substitute the lessons
that failure and patience bring us-
all we really can do is
face our hardships
with limited understanding
and obtain what we can
from our moments of misery.
I am finding more and more
lingers in those moments
and I am beginning to appreciate
of what I can
I used to fear my own presence.
Shake my head at my own sight.
Be disgusted with my thoughts
and ruin my existence.
I used to do all of these things because I felt
I was not the person taking charge
for my life.
I was not the person owning responsibility
for their actions.
I was not the person acting on their decisions
although the choices were petrifying.
I was not that kid because
I DID NOT YET UNDERSTAND WHAT I WAS CAPABLE OF.
I had yet to find the opportunity in my failures.
I had yet to see the potential in my flaws.
I had yet to understand that there are twenty-four hours
in a single day
and we can own every single one of them
when we are not focused on defeat.
And that sounds a little extreme at first,
but if I can convince you of anything today-
please do not be afraid of change.
Welcome it with open arms and be prepared for
your entire life to get uncomfortable
when you start being honest with the world
and most importantly-
I have let go of so much heartache
from no longer pretending I am okay.
I have let go of so much anxiety
from not allowing others to hold
their expectations over me.
I have let go of so much depression
from standing up for myself
because I was sick of the world
telling me NO.
I have let go of so much
and have said goodbye
to so many friends
over what they took from me
always kept me on
the better course;
a step ahead
when they were looking behind
by the time
they could realize
but I guess depending on which way you are looking at it-
all of this is just bragging of course.
So I will never mind you
if you are not listening.
I will forgive you
when you come around.
BUT IF YOU ARE LISTENING LOUD,
HERE RIGHT NOW-
know that I am too.
And for every dream you are chasing-
it is chasing after you.
Kudos if you read this all. I hope it helped. Even though some might find this appalling- I just hope it get's to at least one of you.
Forever was just
close to you.
Not a poem.
They try to silence me
when my passion sings
for I am not like you
with clipped wings.
I have crawled,
and taken flight.
So it will take
to end me