That first inhale the quick sensation
feeling like I've had 10 cups of coffee
it was a great feeling
once upon a time
and now it's been one week
one week without that thrilling Rush
and I'm still here, not insane
not missing that high at all
our first hello
messages sent night and day
that first hug next a kiss
A one month wait for our first time together
the long cuddles with South Park on TV
The Giggles & deep talks
as the clock change to 4 a.m.
playing that we're asleep as the sun rises one week without any of that
I feel like I'm falling apart
love real or fake it
was the best feeling
That's what I'm missing most
the, maybe, false love
but I'm missing those from you
You're the one I miss most
That's what making me insane
Being Sober is fine
not having seeing or talking to you
that's made me lose my mind

you used to write when drunk
and edit when you're sober
but leaf subsides to leaf
since every things been over
you only see her face
you only write her love
her dancing grin she'd flash you
and all of the above

A dream has enfolded me on this day.
It appeared like a hallucination,
Earlier when I heard her say,
"I'm going to stop drinking."

It enfolded and then I reminded myself
That hope need be maintained,
For she has in the past thought of herself.
I must prepare for her sinking.

I have the utmost hope,
Whether it be absurd or not,
That she will learn without it to cope.
But until it happens that is wishful thinking.

I will support my mother,
Believe in her always,
Though this waiting makes me smother.
Will she return to her drinking?

My mask of confidence will remain static,
Despite my soul's protesting of her claim.
My true thoughts slip when I'm in the attic,
Aloft and away from hearing ears.

I hope she will come through,
I hope that she is strong enough.
I hope she knows what to do,
Otherwise the night will be soaked in tears.

Tell me
Frog stories
Hop along
Boring saviour.

I worship
Something less than your greed
**** a life of envy
Leave me to my hole
Low enemies of the conscious state.

Hop hop
I'm a wall to you, but
Can walls be leapt around when
Detached stakes build higher?

Drunk wishes form promises
Stamp letters,
But shuffle, laughing diplomat,
Let me be all you daren't to.

I want home
I want living
In a female goal
But studies tie my hands

Tell me I deserve  this.

I'm not sober
I don't want
things to be
over.

Sometimes I meet,
With art so sweet,
It almost turns me vegan,
A piece of meat,
Could not compete,
With a painting done by Tegan.

Sometimes it seems,
She paints my dreams,
Or as close as anyone can,
If I had to choose,
Between this or *****,
I'd be a sober man.

I'd feel such grief,
With no relief,
If she chose to give up paintin'
And I'd fill the hole,
Inside my soul,
With whiskey and with bacon.

I am grateful for the breath of life flowing through me

Grateful I am no longer waking up each day hating life and praying to die

Each day sober  is truly a gift even when I go through discomfort

Grateful for today with all its joys and sadness