We aren’t an album
We’re the single
That played on the radio
Until everyone hated it
Including us.

Dating as a single parent is a strange thing.
You have to open yourself
And learn to trust someone new
And new is petrifying
But when you do
It feels like you're suspended in air.
Your heart is again warm, your belly full of butterflies.
A kind of feeling your children cannot give you.
Something different.
Everything is perfect
And then something changes.
Suddenly theyre not there
A void is once again opening
Your presence is no longer welcomed
And you cant explain it because they wont.
Sleep eludes you like a promised meteor shower on a cloudy night.
Food now feels like poison on its journey to your starving stomach.
Your body is weak from the malnutrition that this love was feeding your soul.
The trust you gave them is now shattered
And all of the words you heard from your past comes alive and deafens you once again
"Youre nothing without me"
"No one will ever love you"
"You'll be a young single parent and no one wants that"
Doubt will crush your soul
Again
And again
And again.
But you remember.
Youre a mother.
The bringer of life
And snacks.
You have dried tears and kissed ouchies
You have been the protector of your children
And now, you have to be the protector of yourself.
One day you'll wake up,
A little lighter
A little hungier
A little happier

And in the morning,
When you pack your bags
And quietly leave the room.
And when the smell of coffee reminds you
Of the weekend before.
When you told me you loved me
And we laughed about everything
Under the night sky.
There we were
Hoping this weekend would never end.

As you grab the last of your things
Walking around the apartment
Trying not to wake me.
As you see me curled up with the blankets
With a few stay strands of my hair
Covering my face.

You leave me be
As you don’t want to see
What your leaving does to me.

You decided
I'm not what you want
Anymore.

When you leave me asleep in the bed
Not even giving me a kiss goodbye
As everything you said before
Was a just lie.

As I hear the door close
Which meant you were gone.
I feel a tear in my eye.
Not because of you leaving,
But because I still hope.
But that even when you leave,
I pray that you don't forget about me.

And I still hope you’ll come back.
Even if it’s just for one night.

I lay silently awake
Tears are rushing down my face 
I've turned away from you. 
I can't speak to you. 

Where did this go wrong? 
It's been bad for so long 
It time that we wake up to this 
There's days that we forget to kiss 

We've been dead for quite some time 
I can't keep saying that "I'm fine" 
I need to go my separate way,
So I can stop living day by day. 

There was a time that you gave me roses, 
The roses are dead and all that's left are thorns. 
I can't keep crying, lying, saying "I'm yours"
It's time that we wake up and see that we both have flaws. 
We're just not meant for each other, 
And that's okay. 
Darling, I'm sorry to say, 
I don't love you anymore.

He wouldn't message her back
And she couldn't figure out why.  
She stayed up late going over why he didn't.  
Maybe it was because she talked too much
Or maybe she didn't talk enough
Maybe it was because she was ugly to him
Or maybe she just had a nasty personality
Maybe it was because he just never liked her after all

She stayed up thinking about all the things that could be wrong with her.  
But maybe there was something wrong with him
If he doesn't want to talk then fine.  
She doesn't have to change herself for someone and she doesn't have to play the waiting game to catch someone who will never care about her.  
The one who is perfect for you will be someone where you never have to question what they like about you.  
Because they will like it all.  As it comes.

Sometimes, I have this panic attack on being with someone.
It’s never easy for me to let anyone see the chaotic world behind my ribs. It’s really chaotic behind my ribs.
I sometimes think I prefer spending my Friday nights alone on letting anyone to stick his empty head inside my chest.

Quiet breathing overshadowed by a pounding heart
leaves my ears deafened and I slowly fall apart

Weakened with extra haste to die and find peace
clay ankles weren't meant to hold a heart of stone

A heart selfless at one time but given too freely
to the wolves that desire only the flesh

Now I sit with loneliness and reminisce
about the lovers that were eventually a lie

Now I sit with loneliness and confess
there is no more heart for me to give

You’ve moved on.
And that’s just fine.
You were nothing
But grime under my nails.
A stale hit.
The key didn’t fit-
So go ahead and mail it back.
I need a new one
To get over the
Old act.
Matter of fact,
I need a new one altogether.
Someone who will show me off better.
Bored of the
Mundane brains surrounding
My skewed one.
I’m just a dainty demon,
Who wants to have some fun.
Rearranged blame, pounding in my head-
Seeing red
Until I find the right one
Who feels the same.
I am not the one to blame.
Reciprocate my passion-
Stop playing in my feelings.
Guessing real love is too old fashioned
For a young boy like you to be feeling.