The child in me asks
Will we ever find passion
She had big dreams
and was determined to aim for them.

The adult me feels sad
She doesn't know what to say
How do you explain pain,
How do you explain disappointment?

At times I wish I didn't care
and didn't feel anything too deep
but if i refused to care at all
I wouldn't be here, I wouldn’t be me.

Many things I see, I find pre-defined
A darkness is left, the kids aren’t alright
Yet within the chaos, the shot of hope gleams
A chance for redemption, before the final dream.

My love unveils both joy and sorrow
A kaleidoscope of emotions for today and tomorrow
Even in depths of despair, resilience rises
Shadows and trials end with silver-lined surprises.

To feel deeply is my way to truly live
A tapestry weaves the stories I have to give
For even in shadows, my light does grow
My heart guides me to what the truth knows.

So I seek to embrace the highs and lows
Through my rivers of tears, a garden grows
In vulnerability, I find a reality
Worthy of bonding with all humanity.

My shadow was eating me alive,
I was becoming an outline,
Of the person I once could recognize.
My ambitions were fading,
Goals made for dreaming,
Left me feeling.

Aching for the life I could have led.  
With every day that passes,
my hands feel see-through.
My gaze is glazed with dull focus.
As if I am disappearing from who I once knew.

I don’t think I could tell you of ease
But I see you across from this sea in between
Shifting in your seat, nursing a dull ache
I know that feeling all too well
But I don’t want to tell you about it
In case I may come across insensitive
Because I’m trying not to shift this center of gravity
We both share in desperation
And tip us over the edge
We didn’t dare to wonder about
But I never learned to swim
And this sea in between
is filling up my lungs
When did it get so hard to breathe?
I call after you, under my shallow breath
I see you for everything  
Hoping you see me too
But this heavy air we drink
Settles in your shadow and mine
It spells out gracefully
That the spaces between us
Are built out of love
And so, we go on
Paving distances
For these descending clouds

So often you vanish in the dark,
          my fair weathered friend.

Although it is there where I require you the most,
          my reminder of a silhouette existence.

I will become my own shadow,
          no difference between me and lightlessness.

I expand like a riddle in your thoughtless mind.

to A.C.
"Love is a wave
Inside our bodies"

we want to give it all away
give it to our shadow
heaviness, breath, despair
our shadows so thin so tormented by light
we are the contour of our tears
often times you happen to yourself
and some bliss in the depth of
fiercely found wisdom

there is so much space in our eyes
for the world to shiver anew to pass
through us like the shadow of light
you want to be held in the space of a heart
we need more space in the eye of the other for
our shadows to play unhindered in the quiet light

I should paint you like my shadow,
A lot of the black ink ran out of my pen
You reflect all of my dark smile's intentions,
Not to mention, I could dream of you
Like I had the control to it all, all in an instant;
-Our love was always lucid

The shadows on my walls at night
with their inky flowy forms
create words from lack of light
and their presence, I do mourn.

For the sun is an ugly thing
when you are a shadow, to be scorned.
My window filled with magic
the shadows; nevermore