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4/30/2019
Lord, help me look away,
Far from the physical,
I want to see the inside,
I want to see what you see.

Lord, do this straightaway,
My eyes are so whimsical.
Can good and bad coincide?
But internal goes your autopsy.

The outside deceives anyway.
Ignoring fake beauty is logical,
But the illogical path is wide.
So I diverge from their policy.

Too easy to meet halfway,
Poor compromises make this critical.
The fence one must not ride,
One side is always a fantasy.

We call things ****,
We call things beautiful,
In our judgement, we sit smugly.
Of our words, we should be careful.

We call things good,
We call things bad,
Point at ourselves, we never could.
The downfall of others makes us glad.

We call things arbitrary,
We call things significant.
Relativity cannot be necessary,
Or else reality becomes vacant.

And there is right and wrong,
That much I’ve determined.
What they’ve told us all along,
A foundation collapsed – ruined.

So I must shift from observing,
Things from the wrong perspective,
Ignore what I’m told by the undeserving,
Jealous never translated to detective.

They selfishly want what I hold,
This peaceful power I posess.
But I have never controlled,
It is granted, when I acquiesce.

God, help me use your Spirit,
To further your kingdom here.
They see my inherent merit,
Any glory to me, make it disappear.

You alone know our hearts,
Do your work to its full completion.
Intelligence off the charts,
No one can stop your accretion.
6/3/19
What gets you outta bed in the morning?
What is your motivation to live?

Buzzing alarm, groggy eyes, aching back,
Yelling mother, honking bus, ringing phone,
Bright sun, freezing air, thin mattress;
Surely there’s more than this?

Yes, surely there has to be a reason,
There must be a passion!
There must be desire!
There must be something!

Maybe you live for another life,
Maybe you pursue wisdom or knowledge,
Maybe you aspire personal glory or attention,
Your goals will drive your motivation.

Yet, maybe there is no passion,
Maybe you have no reason to go.
Or your reason is not bigger than you,
Your passion is not well-founded.

Maybe you keep going only for
Others’ expectations or demands.
There is only desire to please,
No passion for actual progress.

Don’t you want to just fly out of bed?
Don’t you wish to just love life?
You cannot hide your life away,
Because there is passion, reason, and desire!
Rickey Spence May 20
5/8/2019
I used to think I was doing good,
Then came, something to compare myself to.
If you only understood,
That has its ups and downs as my goto.

In one hand, I know where I can grow,
But in the other, I’m such a failure.
I inevitably will either plateau,
Or crash, or find my savior.

There are three outcomes I see,
Only one seems favorable,
The other two look so unfree,
These facts are surely averrable.

Thank God I’m among such quality people,
His will is the best place I can stand.
Not just stand – run! Even up a steep hill.
He’s put me here and I’m guided by His hand.

I will always look pretty decent,
If I compare to the right ones.
This is not new – not recent,
A tradition, on and on it runs.

Balance, a difficult achievement.
Either I’m feeling low or high.
My mind feels no bereavement,
But my emotion, I can’t quantify.

Side by side, I always scrutinize,
Am I on level with their standard?
The oil tanker of my pride, capsize.
As I drown, drag me landward.

God, If I compare to you, though,
I fail every time, incessantly.
An inimitable aspect ratio,
I fear I am done – dreadfully.

So why do you reach down,
And cover me with righteousness?
Not a lie, your reputable renown.
Ignore those whose words are libelous.

You show mercy to the worst,
When we humble our pride.
None are too far accursed,
We are righteous, you decide.
Rickey Spence May 20
4/26/2019
Hey, remember me?
Okay. Dumb quesion, I know.

But really, can you see the past?
Let me refresh your memory:

Nineteen my age currently.
Feuerstein a favorite artist.

College adventures, ring a bell?
Marriage? Yeah, I’m still clueless.

Social awkwardness – still here.
Confidential is so much about me.

I am happy in this season.
Why? Yeah, I have questions, too.

Enough about me, on to you.
Scruff needs to stay, bro.

I’m telling you, high expectations.
Prime, that’s what they call you.

Success? Don’t stress it.
Yes, but don’t be lazy.

Above all, rest in God,
Love Him more than any.

Don’t worry about your image,
Important is God’s opinion only.

Selfishly I pray for you, but
Discursively flutter my thoughts.

Can I say it any other way?
Plan only on God’s plan.

Work out to become muscular,
**** you would become.

All I can ask for is spiritual strength,
Fall not from your faith.

Inverted, my sentences lose meaning.
Sorted my ideas attempt to stay.

Rhymes are so much fun,
Pastimes begun that go on.

This has been my letter to you,
Analysis reveals my true heart.

We are different people, but
Colloquy unipersonal this has been.

Wisdom, none have I to share, but
Boredom leads to depression.

Don’t forget where you came from,
Enthroned – never was, never will be.

Slip back into your shell,
Leadership will be abandoned.

Purpose to be fully fulfilled,
Earnest must be my attitude.

Stop hiding behind your shadow,
Swap my fear for God’s courage.

Fear is healthy, but in moderation,
Pioneer the unknown and conquer.

Treat others as more important,
Obsolete is a safe place to humbly be.

In conclusion, I expect a lot of me,
Chin up, turn the cheek, smile often!

Live for God, Glorify Him,
Corroborative to my existence He is.
inverse rhymes
Rickey Spence May 10
4/18/2019

Let me show you the other side,
Let me show you the way to see.
There's no reason to hide.
From God, comes abundant mercy.

Let me guide your heavy thoughts,
Let me guide your weary feet.
Don't worry about your secrets,
Through God, you're made complete.

Let me brighten your downcast face,
Let me brighten your clouds daily.
Problems aren't yours to erase,
By God's work, you're made holy.

Let me walk you through the danger,
Let me walk you to a place of safety.
You're not meant to live as a stranger,
Because of God, fullness replaces empty.

Let me carry you through the debris,
Let me carry you when you are done.
The issues of others don't define your story.
Look to God, He'll take your burden.

Let me give you a right perspective,
Let me give you a way to cope.
Depressed thoughts are obstructive.
Thanks to God, you have a wider scope.

Let me lead you to truth.
Let me lead you from the lies.
At first, it seems uncouth,
With God, wisdom you will realize.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm the last thing you want,
When you have lost all of me.
I'm rarely at the front,
You must search if you want to see.

I'm what you need most,
When you've given up.
I'm an idea, a ghost,
When will you wakeup?

Look! The Lamb!
God's thrown down a rope.
Here I am:
My name is Hope!
The personification of Hope.
5/7/2019

God, stop me at once!
I've been telling you what to do,
And there's no telling what that will do.
I lack so much in experience.

I'm so demanding,
And yet so indigent,
I order things like I'm a sergeant.
But I'm the opposite of outstanding.

I want you to work for this "god of self,"
But you're more than I could ever think.
I live and die in one blink,
I can't escape - overtaken by time's engulf.

So why do I try to be,
The boss of all of you?
I master nothing of value,
I'm just riding along in this derby.

Oh God, humble my prayers.
I've always known what I wanted,
Boldly I asked of you - undaunted.
But here is one of the answers.

I ask, and ask, and ask!
But I never listen.
Now the light bulb is on like Edison.
My pride exposed - is grotesque.

You speak in a quiet voice,
Not because you're weak,
But because we must seek.
I've gotta come to you by choice.
4/28/2019

That smile you showed,
When he was left out.
Half a second, eased the load,
Brought him from his hideout.

You care for him, to the last,
Even when he's distant.
When he thought he was outcast,
You included him in an instant.

But he selfishly wants your attention,
He craves more, he can't be alone.
He'd do anything in this situation,
But his stupidity swirls like a cyclone.

He becomes like a turbulent child,
Throws a fit to get his way.
Others are easily beguiled,
But is happiness really underway?

Can the void in his heart,
Which was drained long ago,
Be filled when he becomes a bogart?
These actions damage his precarious ego.

He needs your presence;
People who truly care,
Enough to make a difference.
But he can't even tell you're there.

"Father, show him who,
You've sent them into his life,
Even though they're few,
They cut him deep like a knife.

"Let them show him his faults,
He must see for himself,
Let them open the vaults,
Show him what's on the shelf."

You see how he is corrupted.
Despite his rotten core,
Could he be accepted?
You must help him to explore.

It's not what he does,
That determines his fame.
Love sees past broken pieces,
It passes on no shame.

Overcome by greed,
Not a healthy place.
Back-stabbed and buried,
Not a way to run the race.

Overcome by pride,
Not a purposeful existence.
So much left untried,
Not gaining any distance.

He was not satisfied,
So he took a mile.
I know he was terrified,
Cuz I was he - the whole while.
To all those who take the time to show me some attention: I'm sorry for all the dumb stuff I do to try to earn it. Thank you for loving me through my shortcomings.
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