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Phoebe Hynes Jan 2015
I've looked up one every moment we've had together, tonight.
My mind Transforms into a theater, while my memories of you construct film.
Being with you feels as though I am walking through novels.
You are my favorite author, a special inspiration.
Every minute consumed of you and me, formulates a new page.
All these occurrences keep me turning, and turning.
Once each portion concludes, Its more I crave.
I guess you can’t spend every waking minute reading.
Do you hear that?
Reality is calling, suffering immediate withdrawal.
It’s inevitably necessary to witness the future and make it a current event.
Because I can not stand the thought of remaining, just, here.
For an instant let me glance further.
Curiosity is flammable.
I'll be sure to tip toe around the words, in hopes of not igniting anything.
I have never been so impatient and selfish.
Have you failed to mention you’re still writing?
Or, was I too deep in my head that instant?
Regardless,
You,
Take your time.
I'll be directing a movie in my mind.
Elvie Libby Jan 2015
Tell me,
Tell me how,
Tell me how I’m selfish,
Tell me how I’m selfish for planning my ending.

Explain to me how, though you can see the ropes tied to my limbs,
and you can feel the itch of my scream in your ears,
and ignore it,
that I am selfish.
“They took their own life”
As if it’s a surprise.
They finally retrieved the ultimate prize.
The right to their own life.
A life spent on somebody else,
as I often restrict myself,
“I can’t leave, there’s too many people relying on me.”
Explain to me how YOU are selfless,
when day after day,
at any opportunity you remind me that I made a MISTAKE.
How dare I try to abandon YOU?
Was my mistake ever trying in the first place,
or not having tried hard enough?
How is it that a right to my life that doesn't belong to me,
negates my right to a death,
the only thing, that will ever be recognised as my own.

“Here lies, Libby Preston, a girl who felt the need to take her own life.”
I apologise for my ‘wrong-doing.’
I apologise that I took control of what should have been, mine.
I apologise that you can’t think past what you feel inside your head.
I apologise that you can’t accept mine.
I apologise for the fact that the human race feels it has the
right to end the life of another living creature,
but do not have the right to do what they would like with
their own.

A death can rattle the planet.
It will cause upset, naturally.
However- emotions fade.
Reality does not.
We can dive into irrelevance,
I will decide not to live a life taped to the sole of somebody else’s shoe,
I will decide to live for me, and to die for me.

Lecture me about consideration, go on,
I dare you.
Hypocrite.

I’m ‘selfish’ for wanting a right to my life.
You’re ‘selfless’ for stopping me.
For anyone who's ever been trapped by too much 'consideration.'
I don't mind if you disagree with me, this is simply my point of view.
Louisa Coller Jan 2015
I can’t bare this, it’s pathetic.
I know I shouldn’t say what comes to my head.
I hate it. I have to. Yet, look at me in this moment.
My lips are chapped and my eyes can’t take this,
my lips are drier than they have been before.
I feel sick again and probably karma,
coming back to bite me on the neck.
I feel the clock ticking away,
the time is going quick and it makes me sick.
I feel like crying for the time I’m wasting, please forgive me.
Please don’t forget me. I don’t want to be isolated in this world anymore.
spend too much time regretting decisions instead of making more.
My eyes are my weakness, they scream all the words I don’t want to say.
My lips are liars and my words are too. Don’t forgive them.
You suffered so much, it made me bleed too.
I wanted you to be happy, so please do.
If it means suffering, then I will disappear.
I can’t bare to see you happier without me, how selfish of me.
cait-cait Jan 2015
oh please, *******
and your opinion,
good deeds are selfish,
dont you know, so why
dont u spare me the kindness
of blessing me without
your words for a while,
just like i fail to do to you,
with everything u dont want
to hear,  
sorry i guess,
but if she can come off as bipolar,
so can you.
i wrote something different but i accidentally deleted it and wrote this instead. not really mad anymore just hurt, and i exaggerated a lot in case youre reading this. just listen before u preach maybe.
Vanessa Gonzalez Jan 2015
Don't you ever just get so irritated with everything and everyone?
Everyone's so caught up in the most worthless dumbest **** it annoys the hell out of me.
There are people out there going through real problems and they're over there mad because they haven't ****** a ***** in a while.
Or they haven't had they're hit yet.
Or theyre ***** as hell and can't seem to find someone to **** with.
Or theyre "failing" a class with a 95.
Its all this **** that ****** me off.
Stop being so selfish for once and look past the meaningless parts of being human.
They won't mean anything once you're dead.
Kaye B Anderson Jan 2015
Slowly drowning me
With your negativity.
Bringing me down
With your selfishness.
You sit there and wonder
Why your life has turned out the way it has.
Some things are understandably upsetting,
Others, terribly exaggerated.
You sit there and wonder what your life has become,
Though yet you do nothing to make it better.
Your words burn the hearts of others,
Though you expect forgiveness a moment later.
Boasting about what could have been,
What you have missed out on,
Blaming others for your own mistakes.
You expect all those around you to forgive your piercing murmurs,
That become more than just background noise,
More like spiteful parodies,
As you laugh with yourself
Lost in your negativity.
Breaking those around you,
Losing others along the way,
I won't be able to take it for much longer,
Can't stand your negative ways.
Amanda J Jan 2015
all you
its always been about you
i lost myself along the way
im miserable and hurt
we both are
but i cant always think of fixing you
whos going to fix me?
i need to think of myself.
just this once
about me
I just want to think about what I want for once
Rhianecdote Jan 2015
You realise that I can't help you.*
I've spent my time in the dark
over and over*
and adjusting eyes
can't cry tears for you,
they strive to stay open.

You reach out to me
but I beg you loosen your grasp.
I hold no secrets of how
to leave this place.
No map or direction as I run away
and the guilt it makes me
want to stay and help?

But what good would it do
any of us if I feel in resent
that you drag me back down
to a place I no longer want to be?

I stare back at you
and are confronted
with what used to be me!
That other person I wish
to be separated from,
the one I can't bear to see.

So I abandon you in a last ditch
attempt to save me;
all in the knowing that
in doing so I'm lost already...
They say that you're a product of the people you surround yourself with and that is very true of me. It just seems that all too often I come across people very much like me (prone) and all to often I have found myself in the predicament where help given is at my own expense, particularly if I'm in a bad place myself. I cannot help but feel that I am supposed to help them in some way though. It's almost been a compulsion since childhood as I cannot bear to see people feeling alone, in need of help and just walk on by. It may sound selfish but I'm coming to the realisation ( in my case any way) that I must look after myself for that is when one can be of the most help to others. It leaves me questioning myself and my motives for helping. If somehow by helping these people I hope to help myself, that I can somehow make something good from my bad experiences by passing on what I've learnt or if altruism actually does exist. It is in my nature to care and look after others and that will never change but being someone who finds it near on impossible to accept direct help I must also look after and help myself too even if that means putting myself first or accepting that I am not the person to be of help, which is a hard thing to do at times.

Do you relate?
s Jan 2015
Tonight something in my brain clicked.
I am affecting others lives.
Alot.
So instead of looking sad.
Instead of sitting alone in my room.
Instead of being addicted to myself..
I need to fake happy better.
I need to fake everything more.
I do enough damage to myself.
I don't want to do that to someone else.
A gear in my head..
Just clicked.
Now I know..
I need to forget myself.
I just hope someday he'll find someone to love him
Because I certainly won't
I'm cold
I just can't forgive him
Not again
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